The driving impaired

Okay, today is another day for discussing the antics of people who do not exhibit the simplest forms of courtesy and/or common sense. This one is directed toward those who pull out in front of you and proceed to drive s-l-o-w-l-y and those who drive s-l-o-w-l-y in the passing lane. I'll inhale and exhaling deeping before this one because it's one that irks the _*(%#)&%)T&#)%*#)%*# hell out of me.

Cleansing breath released, I shall proceed with the appropriate speed and etiquette.

Imagine yourself on a stretch of road and you're doing at least the speed limit if not a little over. (that's me on a regular...lol). Anyway, there are cars in front of you that yeild to your approach, noting your speed, but then there's one who doesn't. Not only does said driver not yeild, but the drive BELOW the posted speed limit. Road rage threatens to creep in, but you realize that there are laws against aggressive driving and you really don't need a citation. You do everything in your power to get around this &%)@&%^#%(& driver, but naturally, there are cars in the other lane and they're passing you. When you're finally able to pass them, they have the audacity to 1) not make eye contact because they know they were wrong, or 2) look at you and smile like "what did I do?" Meanwhile, you're sitting there exploding and ready to make road kill of them. Ugh!

And that leads me into the other issue that can inspire random acts of road rage. The pull out and brake. Someone; anyone, please tell me what the %^)(&#%( that's all about? I'll gladly pay to know the anser to that question. Sheesh! I'm getting pissed off just thinking about it!

Here's a story. It's real and it happened to me. I drive an SUV with 265 beautiful Andulasians (that's horses to the equine challenged) galloping under the hood. I'm doing the posted speed limit of 50 per hour and I'm gazing into the open road ahead. I see a car approaching the stop sign of a side street and as I continue and get closer to the side street the moron who will be for all perpetuity thought of each time I see a Cadilac Coup de Ville, decides he wants to pull in front of me. Not only does the &)%#&*%&#)* moron pull out, but he drives s-l-o-w-l-y in front of me. I call him everything unladylike that I can think of as I try to slow my beautiful horses down. (much to their chagrin). The worse part is that I was on a stretch of road where I couldn't even pass and that pissed me off into the middle of 2007.

Now I know I shouldn't allow such things bother me the way they do, but I'm human and I have feelings too. (sniff). For the most part, the roads have two lanes, which means the road is divided for those who was to take their time, be scenic, or otherwise plain, ignorant assholes who shouldn't be on the damned road in the first freaking place. Ooops! My bad! My Tourettes got the best of me for a minute. Woosah! Now, that I'm calm again. It's this simple, if you know you're in the mood to take it easy, please be considerate to those who don't want to be boxed in because you're acting like cholestoral and blocking the damn road. Move right and stay there. To those who like playing chicken by pulling out and then slowing down in front of a fast moving vehicle, think about the impact of your very foolish decision and maybe that'll calm your dumb ass down. The idea of meeting you by accident doesn't appeal to me and neither does having to restrain myself when I want to beat you to a pulp because you did cause an accident and my hood in now your back seat.

Wooosh! And she's off!