Thankful

I know many bloggers who post a weekly Grattitude List and I find them very encouraging and in many ways inspirational. I, on the other hand rarely post such a list. No, it's not because I'm ungrateful or have nothing to be thankful for, I just simply rarely post one. Well, today, I'm going to post one, but it'll be more in paragraph form instead of a list. Either way, my grattitude will be known.

For everything I've been through in life good or bad, I've always been grateful to my heavenly father for His divine presense in my life. Even when I wanted to call it quits and say the hell with it all, I never let my faith falter and I held on regardless. My Hope is Built is one of my favorite hymns and trust me when I say, it's literally saved me and others from being hurt. When I was in basic training many moons again, it stopped me from being discharged after I wanted to smash another trainees face in with the butt of an M16. My faith has prevented me from failing peril to the temptations of drugs, alchohol, promiscuity, and suicide. How Great Thou Art, is another great hymn that has also brought me strength and comfort during my trying times. My daddy is a great singer and I remember how well he sang that hymn and it stuck with me. Blessed Assurance is another hymn that comes to mind and it too always restores my soul and gives me reason to hold on and rest on my faith. I've been blessed to have some friends/family in my life that are God-fearing people and whom are ready, willing, and able to have some church whenever; wherever the need calls for it. I have friends/family whom will go from vernacular to prayer as the need arises. I'm blessed and fortunate for them as I am blessed and fortunate to have the faith it takes to believe in what I can not see, feel, or sometimes hear. Without the grace and mercy of God, I know I would not be where I am today and I am eternally grateful and thankful that I have God in my life.

From my teens to my mid 20's, I decided I didn't want children. I had a decent childhood, lived in a two-parent home, really didn't want for much, but I still had no real inspiration or desire to have a child. For whatever reason, that changed and I had lil lady when I was 24. I'd already graduated college, so I wasn't interupting that. I hadn't gotten into a career field yet, so that wasn't going to be intertupted either. I was fortunate that I had a pretty easy pregnancy (save for the car accident at 5 months), and my labor and delivery was 3hrs, 43 mins start to finish, which by all counts is great for a first delivery. Lil lady was an easy going baby and was an incredible joy to be around and I was blessed to be able to stay home with her for the first 18 months of her life; and missed none of her milestones. She's grown into a smart, beautiful, and talented young lady who is still a joy to be around and is by far, one of my biggest and best accomplishments in life. She inspires me, moves me, and is my lil hero. She's a teen now and has her moments, but she's not filled with angst and drama; and all the things that drive most mothers insane. Again, I'm blessed.

Friends have come and gone in my life for a variety of reasons, but I'm blessed to have some that are truly ride or die. I have some that I don't need to check in with daily, but they know I love them and would be there for them at a moments notice. I have them of all ages, races, male, and female. Most of my friends are more like family to me as I have no blood relatives within my state. Hell, if my family had to come for an emergency, they's have the airlines clogged *lol* because that's the distance they've have to travel. My friends and I have gone through good times, bad times, and just times together. We've shared secrets, anger, births, deaths, and whatnot and while a few have had to be cut off, I have held on to those who remain ever true and ever there. I don't need quantity; simply quality of friendships. Age and wisdom helps to define that; leaving little room for doubt.

My family is a strange entity. I have some that I know, some that I don't know, and some that I'm just getting to know. I've always wanted to be a part of a large and for the most part functional family. My immediate family lacks a certain level of functionality, but that's simply how it is and I tend not to focus on that too much. I have cousins, aunts, and a few siblings that are the greatest ever. I've reconnected with my daddy and I have to say it's one of the most emotionally fulfilling experiences ever. He's a nut, but he's my nut and I love him. My stepdad is a good guy and he's worthy of his shout out. My mother and I, well that's a another story. However, I'll give credit where credit is due and say, she's given me some great reasons to be able to take care of myself, to work hard, and to make a way out of no way. Things aren't great between us and that bothers me as it also affects lil lady and I hope that one day we can change that. Bottom line though, I've had my parents in my life my entire life and good or bad relationship aside, I'm happy and blessed for it as it's help to shape the woman I am today.

And finally to life. Wow! Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it this far. For all the ups and downs, and bumps and bruises, I really don't know how I did it. Well, I guess it's as easy as reading back over the previous paragraphs. Without God and my faith; without my daughter, my friends and family, I wouldn't have made it. Actually, I have to make an addition. I've had a few good Pastors in my life too who've been exceptional in aiding in my faith walk and giving me the spiritual guidance I've needed. I have a wonderful church home and family in Christ too and I'm grateful for that.

In closing, I just want to say that no matter what happens or where life leads you, there is ALWAYS something or someone to be thankful for. Each day is a new day, but each breath is a dying breath, so we must all do what we can, when we can, for as long as we can to be grateful for everything good or bad and give thanks to the most high and those in our lives.

Love!

I wish...

I stole this idea from jus.b.fli and wanted to share my wish list...

I wish...

God could reach down and give me a huge hug; i bet that would feel really great

people would allow others to be human; not superhuman

distance wasn't a factor and i could see my dad as often as i wanted

my mother and i liked each other

that i had enough money to pay my bills AND have a comfortable savings account

resentment wasn't more powerful than love

that love wasn't used as a four letter word

writing was my full time job

everyday people were headlined for their random acts of kindness instead of celebs and their random acts of bullshit

healing heartache was as easy to fix as putting neosporin and a band-aid on it

reality shows were really based on REALITY

forgiveness actually equated with forgetting

peace of mind wasn't a figment of the imagination

a man crying wasn't equated with him being weak

men and woman would treat each other better

children were allowed to be children

i could post poems with the same ease i used to & didn't have to resort to shameless plugs *new poem up The SaPhyreLounge*

people say they want the truth would actually accept it

passive-aggressive people would just say what's on their minds *refer to Nikki for her analysis on this topic*

a blessing or miracle will fall each of you reading

i dont get it!

Okay, someone help me understand (if you can), why is it when we find out someone we know/knew is gay, that we suddenly have to form an opinion about it?

Here's why i'm asking. So, last week, a friend sends me an email telling me about an old high school friend whom he at one time "suspected" was gay and recently found out it was true. This is bits and pieces of what he had to say..."...finally get in touch with an old junior high school and high school classmate...emails me that her "partner" and her have an 18 yr old daughter... always wondered but never knew that she liked to licky, licky, licky...conflicted in my own beliefs...don't condone her life style; however, it is her choice and she must live it."

I must admit, I was rather put off by his comment. I mean, why should what they be of conflict to him? In addition, he made it seem as though her choice was offensive. Am I the only one who sees it that way?

Personally, I've never had an issue with the sexuality of someone else. I mean, why should I? It's of no consequence to me, they're not hurting me, and basically, it's none of my business. I have gay friends and I don't pry into their sexual habits or comment on it. I have a transgendered friend whom I absolutely adore and she is one of my best and dearest friends. Barring an occasion here or there when a lesbian has made an overly aggressive pass at me, I've never been offended by gays. I treated the pass as I would a man and went on about my business.

What happens in their lives or communities is pretty much similar to what happens in a hetrosexual community with the exception of the flags; seeing as hetrosexuals don't have a banner or flag to announce their orientation. I must admit, that is the one thing that kind of struck me as off, but again, I'm not offended by it.

So, back to what I don't get. Why would someone be "conflicted in their beliefs" because of the lifestyle of another? That's like me saying, I'm conflicted over someone's race or religion. I mean, come on already. With so many people being water-tight-like-a-ducks-ass it's no wonder why there are so many men (and women) on the DL (down-low). Why do we have to make what others do our business? I admit, I've gotten caught up in my fair share of gossip on this matter and other matters, but it's on that premise and maturity that I realize it has nothing to do with me. As long as my sexuality is respected, then I respect anyone else's.

I'm sure each of us has our thoughts on the matter and it's usually tends to be for religious reasons, but let me pump your brakes right there, because we all KNOW that there are many in the church who are gay. We also know that God made each of us so we can't go around judging folk. In addition, there are many gay couples whose relationships have outlasted many straight people's. We all need to practice some understanding and tolerance the same way blacks, Jews, women; and so son want it. Is that really too much to ask?

So, in closing, I go back to my intro. "I don't get it!"

Release the thong!

Okay, so ladies, I said, we weren’t to be excluded from my bashing, so tighten your bra straps cause here it comes…

What is with us saying we want a man who we know is damn near impossible to find and turning our eyes off a brother who doesn’t fit into the nice little package we think he’s going to come in? I mean, what the hell are we thinking. Why turn down a blue-collar worker because we think he won't get it, fit into our social circle, or that our friends/family won't approve. He's a man for crying out loud and we can't sleep on him just because he doens't fit whatever stupid mold we think he should. Here’s an example…my sister lived by this notion for quite some time and found herself rather unhappy with the men in the dating pool until she came across the man who is now her husband. He didn’t come in the pretty little package she’d created in her mind and she realized that getting what you need in a man is better than the man you want. They're completely committed to each other and have all the things with/for each other that they wanted. That's what love is about; not that bullshit that we've created.

What's with those of us that have multiple children from multiple partners? Its’ bad enough some of the brothers won’t own up to a child being theirs emotionally, financially, or socially, so why put the child/ren through any more grief? What is Lil Ty’s daddy is taking care of him, but Janeequa and Keshawn’s dad isn’t? Or what about LaShawn’s dad who is, but Pookie’s isn’t? The damage this causes is the stuff that keeps therapists paid when these kids are adults. We must ensure we have out own method of birth control in the event his fails.

How about those of us who get pregnant by men we know are less than stellar in so many ways and then complain about his “trifling ass” after the fact? How come we don’t hold ourselves accountable for our role in the pregnancy, take care of our child as best we can, and pursue child support and pray we get it. In the event, his “trifling ass” can’t, won’t, or don’t pay, then don’t run out to Foot Locker for the latest baby Jordan’s that h/she who’s not even walking yet don’t need; or will grow out of in a heart beat in h/she can walk. There’s no need for that child to be in the latest fashions when you’re trying to manage taking care of both of you on a shoestring budget. Trust and believe that child has no idea what Baby Phat or Roc a Wear is. And not to forget, you might wanna holla at your girl and let her perm your hair or wash and set it a time or two and cut back on those biweekly hair appointments; you’ll still be beautiful.

For those of us sitting up there talking about how women are being degraded, treated poorly, and whatnot, but we’re up in the club dressed in clothing that screams “hooker” and carrying on in kind. If we want to be treated like the queens, ladies, or empresses that we descended from, then we need to act accordingly. Tell that brother to step off he can’t “let me holla atcha boo” in a polite way. He may call us a “bitch” or say, “you ain’t cute anyway”, but let’s not get all up in arms about it if we know we’re not what he claims we are. All he’s doing is trying to mask his wounded ego and that should show us he wasn’t worth the time of day anyway; even if he is cute. Looks should never supersede his personality or lack thereof.

Now, I’m all for a woman wearing clothes that flatter her figure (large, small, or in between), but I’m sick to death of my sisters being out there in low-rise jeans with their thongs and ass-crack out. Big-breasted women should not be where spaghetti straps unless she’s properly reinforced. We don’t need to wear mini skirts that are a second shy of showing off the coochie that is probably barely covered by a thong, dippin it low, getting our eagle on, droppopanlockin it.

I’m gonna stop here because I think I’ve sufficiently made my point, but in closing I must say the following:

Ladies we can and should carry ourselves in a respectful manner if we want to be treated as such. Granted there are times when a man will act up even when we’re acting right, but can’t reduce ourselves to his level unless it's absolutely necessary. Then by all means, go Malcolm on his ass. We can get our “freak on” without demeaning ourselves. We must stop allowing our sexual activities to be videotaped unless we’re absolutely sure it won’t be used against us; and even then you still gotta watch out. We must teach our daughters well and stop telling them to use what they've got to get what they want. Ensure they be educated and know the power of the mind will outweigh looks any day. We must start standing together, get over our ‘women’ hatred, and build ourselves up. If we don’t do it, no one else can or will and we’ll continue to sell ourselves out as “the other society” already sees us.

Love!

Man up bitch!

I’m so sick and tired of men deferring to their women as if they can’t do shit for themselves.

A good friend of mine was recently offered a new position with a 30k pay increase that she’s not sure she's going to take because she’s worried about her kids and not being readily accessible to them because the new position is like an hour commute away. I was like, are you )*%#)&%)# serious?” She’s a great mother and wife who’s more than sacrificed for her family. The position would be a great career move for her, but again she’s not sure because her husband asked her who’d get the child(ren) if they’re sick at school? MAN THE F*UCK UP BEYAH! You get them! You’d be closer and they are YOUR kids for crying out loud. As I said, she's more than sacrificed for her children and husband, so why shouldn't she do something for herself? *sheesh*

This leads me to other areas where men need to man up.

So, he knew the consequences of unprotected sex or not ensuring both parties are ready, willing, and able to take care of a child should one result from the union. Chick comes up pregnant and now he don’t know what he wants to do. She says, she’s keeping it and of course he’d have financial, emotional, and other paternal responsibilities toward the child. At first, he’s hot and wants nothing to do with it, but along the way changes his mind and he’s all in. Months after the child is born, he opts out. WTF? Chick moves on, raises their child, and then ends up in a relationship with the next dude who’s willing to love your child cause you won’t. Now his bitch ass wants to be up in arms cause the next man is raising his child? Bitch please! Should have played his part from the get.

Or how about when folk want to be up in arms because a stressed out young mother snaps and takes it out on the child? I’m not saying she couldn’t have asked for help or whatnot, but where was dude when she was stressed out and on her own? Where was some intervention PRIOR to her snapping out? It’s all her fault when something bad happens and not the father’s right? Wrong!

Grown ass men living up home until they well into their 30’s and even 40’s. What’s up with that? How can he have a functional relationship with a woman at his mother’s house? Dude, man up! Get an efficiency, split the rent with your boy, but living at home unless there’s some major change occurring is simply not a good look. Mother’s, STOP babying your sons and turning them into dependent and some times lazy men that can’t, don’t, or won’t do for self and expect some other women do treat them like their momma does.

Brothers, please stop sporting tricked out whips and living in the damn hood, projects, or whatever else you wanna call it. I mean, if you can invest 100k in a whip with full amenities, then you can afford a small crib. Yeah, it’s a given that for the most part, your whip was acquired by questionable means, but the same way you go the whip, you can get a crib out of the hood and take some of the damn stigma off yourselves.

Grown ass men dressing like teenage “thugs” is NOT a good look. Man up and wear something more age appropriate and put a damn belt on.

All this bravado and such is a full-fledged farce anymore because men just aren’t being men. Stop peacocking around flailing your feathers and just man up already. Seems like y’all the ones needing sanitary products these days with all the bitching you do.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my brothers I really do, but I’m just sick and tired of our men deferring out and not manning up to their responsibilities. Those that fit this bill know they’re wrong for how they’re acting. Yes, we know you’ve got it hard, yes, we know ‘The Man’ ain’t checking for you, and we know it’s hard being a black man; hell any man, but don’t make it easier for someone to emasculate you because you’re not playing your part. A real man does what he needs to do, takes care of his responsibilities, and strives to live and get right.

And ladies...don't think we're getting off easy cause I've got something else brewing where we're concerned.

Forward march....

I wrote this to post yesterday, but had already posted, so the depth of the content remains the same; the delivery is a day off...

The past is over and done and has no power over me. I can begin to be free in this moment. Today's thoughts create my future. I am in charge. I now take my own power back. I am safe and I am free. – Louise L. Hay

We’ve all been through a negative experience or experiences that have grown roots and planted themselves deep within our psyche and as much as we’ve wanted to put them behind us; we couldn’t.

In speaking with my blog sister this morning, we spoke of things that we held inside because we were ashamed, hurt, or disappointed by the experience or event. We spoke in depth about how that “thing” became such a part of us that it was almost as if it was an appendage in some way. In talking about our respective “thing”, we agreed that if not for Divine intervention, reconciling with the “thing”, ultimately learning to heal and move on that we have each gain control of our lives. We’ve learned that bad things are going to happen and it’s how we deal with it that is important. We agreed that with each step forward, we’re erasing a little bit more of the pain and allowing the goodness to come in and for blessings to take place. By relinquishing that “thing” that seemed to hold us captive, we’ve blossomed into beautiful flowers instead of seeing ourselves as weeds in an untended garden.

Our conversation grew into a full-fledged remission of the pain, guilt, frustration, and hiding that we’d placed on ourselves and our hearts. We released the so-called shame or stigma that was attached by ourselves or others for the experience we’d had. We spoke of growth and maturity and how the past cannot and will not define our respective futures or allow us to be held in mental or emotional bondage. We further discussed and agreed that by not speaking of the “thing” or trying to ignore the “thing” we were allowing it to maintain control and keep us from being the strong women we claim ourselves to be.

By openly acknowledging that our respective “thing” was a part of our lives makes it easier for the door to on it to be closed and remained closed instead of going through the revolving door of emotional dizziness. Our vision and thoughts become clearer; growth becomes easier, and the future is seen as an endless journey into newness, growth, and possibilities. The cynicism is reduced and the willingness to move one becomes something to look forward to. While there will be days when the cloud will surely manifest itself, it’s ability to stay and steal our joy is greatly reduced because we’re now armed with the tools to deal with it. The strength to endure, the power to overcome, faith to keep going willingly is the wind beneath our wings to help us rise and soar.

As an abuse survivor, I feel blessed that I’m now in a place in my life where speaking about it actually helps and not hurt. I do still have moments where I’m sad or something triggers a memory, but now that I’m stronger and more aware of myself, I can handle it better. I can reach out to someone who shares my story and together we can get through it. The things that happened to me held me hostage for a long time and played a major role in the demise of my true self and some of my relationships. I’m not solely to blame as the men I chose were damaged (for lack of a better word) in their own way and weren’t able to work with me, so they worked against me. I used to think it was all my fault, but again, with growth, healing, and not allowing my past to define my future; I know I’m in a better place now. I’ve grown to better love and appreciate myself instead of seeing myself as damaged goods or less than love-worthy. I know I’m not flawless, and won’t allow myself to be demeaned by words that compromise the wealth of goodness that the Lord has blessed me to be. I try to compliment myself for my good traits while tending to the things that need work. Seeing as I’ve only been doing this for a few years now with a few hiccups in between, this is all still work in progress. The most important part of it is that I’m moving FORWARD. The steps may not always be big ones, but as long as I’m taking them, I’m good. Sometime in the future whenever the good Lord sees fit, He’ll bless me with someone who can and will love me for me and the women I’ve become; and if the need arises and I have to share my past, it will be seen as the positive and not negative equation in forming the beautiful, wonderful, and uniquely special person I’ve become.

Thanks blog sis for our “phone church” and for giving me the inspiration to relax, relate, and release today.

Love!

The following is taken from Until Today! Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind – Inyala Vanzant.

June 11

I am willing to forgive myself…for all of the time I have refused to follow Divine Orders.

Pssst! Come closer. This is a message for you. It is a message intended to make you feel better about yourself. It is a message from the angles and the good spirits of life. The angles and good spirits of life are asking that you, STOP BEATING UP ON YOURSRLF FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING OR NOT DOING! In other words, they don’t like it. They are also aware that it doesn’t make you feel too good either!

The angels and the good spirits of life have heard the things you have said to yourself and about yourself. They are simply appalled! They know that you could have, you would have. They know that when you can, you will. The angels and the good spirits of like would help you, if you would allow them to. They also understand that when you feel bad enough you will ask for help. It doesn’t have to be that way, but the angels and good spirits are aware that you have a few trust issues that require healing. In the meantime, they have issued a Divine Order that you cease and desist all forms of self-criticism, self-judgment, self-flagellation, self-punishment and self-destructive behavior. The angles and the good spirits of life forgive you for partaking in such self-dishonoring behavior in the past. Now they want you to forgive yourself and stop it!

Until today, you have spent a good portion of your day beating up on yourself for all the things you did not do to your satisfaction. Just for today, forgive yourself for the way you have treated yourself.

Today I am devoted to following the Divine Order to cease and desist all forms for self-criticism and self-judgment.

i'd be THAT dude!

Have you ever wanted to be the opposite sex for the weekend? I don't know why this thought has crossed my mind, but I'm curious to know what kind of guy I'd be.

My boy, TJ thinks I'd be one of those guys that chicks would migrate to because I have this easy air about me. He says, I'm easy to talk to, not offensive (unless pissed off), and chicks would dig that. So, I asked if I'd just be a male version of who i am now? He said, yes! Of course I ask if he thinks I'd have a stash of chicks because they'd be so "drawn" to me and he said yes, but I wouldn't be sleeping with them. Wasn't that a nice thing for him to say?

Now, TJ is a a man who has a damn near insatiable sexual appetite and would probably sleep with the girls who I wasn't because if they were friends with me, it meant they were good peeps. Strange logic right? Lemme splain...women say they want a man who's polite, respectful, a good listener, and all that gush-gooey shit; meanwhile, they'll cheat on him with some other dude. Why, probably because he's too good to be true, or the desire to have a "bad boy" hasn't completely left her system.

Let me take this a step further...So, my name is now Lou and not Blu. My boy, TJ and I are hanging out. I could lure the girls in with my relaxed and somewhat reserved demeanor while TJ gets to go in for the kill once the girls are caught in the snare. Don't laugh cause if you really think about it, that's how it tends to go down. In any group of friends there's a pretty dynamic pattern...the playa, the thinker, and the comedian. There could be more or less of a particular kind, but overall, that's how most cliques are formed; too many of a like kind is bad for social activities.

Back to the topic. So, from my boys perspective, I'd be the kind of dude that would treat women well, have women flocking to me, but for the most part, I'd be "the friend" type because I wouldn't be breaking them off with my top gun. To be honest, I think I'd be close to that with one exception; I would be breaking off a choice one, maybe two and I'd be laying it down so good. I'd only need to have the 1 or 2 because they'd be so hooked that I wouldn't have time for any more. In addition, I'd be THAT dude because I'd remember that I have a mother or maybe a sister and I wouldn't want some dude to be treating her in some less than manner. I know a lot of guys say that, but there are some that actually practice what they preach. Think about it, just how triflin would it be to be out there treating chicks like crap and then wanna mash some dudes face in cause he did something shitty to his mother or sister? Yeah, it happens all day; everyday, but I just couldn't be that dude.

My curiosity in being of the opposite for weekend lies less in sex though. I'd want to know what it's like to wake up with a piss boner; to eat on the fly cause I couldn't cook; to drink beer and talk shit about a football game (yea, i know some chicks do that, but you feel me), and to do those other "manly" things. Hell, to not have to worry about wearing a bra might be enough for me...lol!

8 Habits

Rosemarie tagged some other bloggers quite awhile ago and I decided to tag myself. Eight habits or interesting facts about me. I have lots of habits to write about:

SHAKING MY LEGS: talk about restless leg syndrome! I shake my legs incessantly and then I catch myself and stop. A few minutes later, I start all over again. Sometimes, I do it so much that when I do stop, they still feel like they're moving. A friend of my dad’ said, I’m going to mess up the nerves in them. I'm not sure if that’s true or not, but she had me scared for about as long as it took for me to start all over again…lol!

NOT USING MY PLANNER: I have a Franklin Covey planner that I used to write just about anything and/or everything in so I’d have a record of what I did; when; etc, but why is it that I hardly use it anymore? It’s sad cause I carry it around daily. I think I need to re-acquaint myself with it.

LOOKING BEHIND ME: At work I sit in a way that has my back to the cube entrance and it drives me crazy, so I’m constantly looking over my shoulder or in the mirror I’ve put up so I can see what’s going on behind me. I'm the say way in restaurants and such. I have to sit where I can see the door. I just have a dire need to be familiar with my surroundings at all times.

CHECKING CERTAIN BLOGS: I feel like an e-stalker for how often I check to see if a particular blogger has put up something new. The irony is that I am usually too busy to read or comment at that very moment, but I have the comfort of knowing it’s up for when I can.

BENDING MY FINGERS & ARMS INTO UNUSUAL POSITIONS: I’m “double jointed” and for shit and giggles will bend my thumbs onto the back of my hands or bend my other fingers into strange positions. I can also twist my arms behind my back to form the praying hands position. Maybe I’ll get someone to take pix of my contortions! I can also pop my hand, wrist, and hip in a "flicted" motion. *yeah, I said, "flicted".

I CAN EAT LIKE A FIEND: I am fortunate that this is a practice I don’t do often and that I’m fit and healthy because if I wasn’t, I’d be as big as the white house. However, there are occasions when I can polish off large amounts of food like it’s nothing at all and be full ‘just right’.

I HAVE UGLY FEET: If every guy I’ve had relationships with were as shallow as Eddie Murphy in Boomerang, I’d never keep a man. The irony; however, is that in spite of their ugliness, they’re extremely soft and well maintained.

CREATIVE COOK: I love to cook and often without recipies. I just get an idea in my head and go for it. The bad thing is that I can’t always replicate it cause it was summa dis and summa dat.

Just how "hood" are you?

The Jewel's light hasn't been shining so bright for the past few days and i've been struggling with some things that i initially wasn't sure how to handle. i prayed on the things that were affecting me and did what i know is the right thing to do, which is to let go and let God. so, now that i've done that, i feel it's time for me to let the Jewel sparkle again and i thought this funny post would be a good start for it. Enjoy!

GET A PENCIL AND PAPER BEFORE YOU START THIS JUST
You've ever used an album cover (album would be for the “grown folk" of this blog…lol) for a dustpan. (5 points)

If you've ever run a race barefoot in the middle of the street. (10 points)

You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)

If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)

If you have ever had to walk to school or walked home from school. (2 points)

If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath. (5 points)

If you ever mixed Kool-Aid one glass at a time because you got tired of other people drinking up the Kool-Aid you just made. (5 points)

If you have ever played any of the following games: hide and go seek, freeze, tag, Momma may I? or red light/green light. (2 points each)

If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell)

If you refer to "Now and Later" candies as "Nighladers". (5 points)

If you've ever run from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)

If you've ever had reusable bacon grease in a container on your stove. (5 points + 15 if you still do it)

The batteries in your remote control ever been held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)

If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances Brute, Hai-Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge. (1 point each):

You've ever used Tussy Deodorant. (5 points)

You've never been to the dentist. (15 points)

If you have a friend or family member whose nickname is one word said twice: dee-dee, fee-fee, man-man, Kay-Kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, nay-nay, tee-tee etc. (10 points)

You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)

You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points) ***had to correct this one cause Xae made a very necessary correction...You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (20 points +5 if you are male, +25 if you went to the mall) UGH!!!!

You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (e.g. Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.) (5 points)

You use 'n'em to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig'n'em or Momma 'n'em). (5 points)

You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (5 points)

You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (10 points)

You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (2 points)

You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (5 points)

The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (10 points)

You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan 's. (15 points)

You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)

You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)

If you are going to have to use a calculator to add your points. (25 points)

Now the totals...
0 - 50 points - I guess you were raised in the suburbs

51 - 75 points - A bonafide ex-hood rat

76 - 150 points - Spent a little time in the projects, huh?

150 points or more - Still there, huh?