Hateration!!

I was at a party this past weekend and was so ready to serve up a smorgasbord of the above picture to the women in the house. Why? Because there was no need for all the visual hateration I was getting. I give props to all the full-figured women who sported their mini dresses, low cleavage tops, and very tight pants for their confidence. Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it they say.

Now, I'm 5' 7" barefoot. I wear 3-4 inch heels almost daily and 5 when I'm really feeling it. I weight between 145-150, have a 29 inch waist, and am considered fit by all health standards. I can comfortably fit clothes in single digits from the Juniors department and am damn sure proud of being able to maintain my body at almost 42 years old.

I don't make a habit of coming off as "all that" because I'm not "all that" as beauty is subjective, but let's just say, I; for the most part am not lacking for attention. I walk with an air of confidence because I am confident in myself, but am far from arrogant or conceited. Anyway, while at this party, the women looked at me like they wanted to throw me off the boat. Why? That's yet to be determined, but let's say it's safe to assume that my outfit was commanding all kinds of attention from both the men and women. I chose it because I was comfortable in it and also because I knew it would be hot on the boat. I didn't wear it because I was seeking attention as the haters might think.

My point of this is that I'm sick and tired of women giving me the side eye or mean mugging me because they think I think I'm all that. I also am sick of being visually criticized because I'm wearing something they wish they could have. Now, as I said before, if the full-figured women can sport their (sometimes inappropriate) outfits, then why can't I? I'm not going to start wearing a Burkha because someone is jealous or envious of me, my clothes, or my figure.

So, here's what I looked like...

Love to live; live to love!

bittersweet

It's almost the two year anniversary of finding out I had breast cancer. I'm extremely happy, grateful, and blessed to have come out on the other side with my life and health; however, it doesn't stop me from feeling a little sad. It was a devastating blow to my life and health and something that I was ill-prepared for given that I was deemed to be in excellent health.

Life is truly a blessing and something that should not be taken for granted. None of us are promised another day and we must give thanks and praise daily for being here. Put time and energy into taking care of yourselves as you would the cars you drive. Love those in your life unconditionally. Forgive and forget; it's easier said than done I know, but better in the long run. Open your heart to receive love and all the blessings set before you. Find the joys in the small things. Seek the positive in any negative; this experience gave me my mother back, so there's hope out there. Most of all make every second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year count.

In closing, I must implore each of you to be a part of my mantra...LOVE TO LIVE; LIVE TO LOVE...you'll one day thank me for those words.

Health Awareness

As many of you know I'm a breast cancer survivor and a health awareness advocate. I insist that you all check out the following links:

IBC Symptoms
Breast Cancer Diagnosis NBC Chicago
Photos of what IBC looks like

Many women aren't aware of another form of Breast Cancer called Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) as it's not typically detected through self breast exams, mammograms, or the usual means of discovery. It's a highly aggressive form of cancer and by the time it's detected, it's often in the late stages.

I implore the women to be aware of their bodies and any changes it might go through. Please do not overlook what may be a seemingly benign change in your breasts. Please be insistent with your doctors and other health care professionals to not dismiss you or your symptoms.

Men, please take notice of any changes the women in your lives might be going through and identify anything that seems out of the ordinary to you. In addition, advise your women to monitor and maintain their health and please do the same for yourselves.

Love to live; live to love!

Health Wealth #6 (final for this series)

Moving along in my series, I'm going to give you a run down of events during my initial recovering process.

After coming home, I had to do light exercises to maintain strength in my right arm and to avoid tightness and other complications that could arise. I saw the reconstructive surgeon on Labor Day even though his practice was closed for the holiday. Yes, he actually went into the office just for me. There aren't too many doctors like him left. Anyhoo, he too the bandages off and changed the dressing and viewed the drain. It was at that point when I saw my breast for the first time. It was a little scary and I was immediately self-conscious about my appearance. He explained that a small amount of saline was in the implant to initiate the inflation and I would undergo inflation about every two weeks or however my body tolerated it. The skin had to completely heal as I had some external abrasions due to the scraping of the breast tissue, which over the next couple of weeks increased my self-consciousness and I found myself wearing button downs quite often.

When it was time for the first inflation, it hurt like heck. The tightness in my chest and the strain on my skin was quite unexpected. I took some ibruprophen to alleviate my discomfort and decided I would take one before each inflation just in case. Over the course of the expansion process, I found myself trying to get used to this hard foreign object that was residing in my chest, which wasn't an easy thing to do. It was hard to get comfortable in bed or while driving, so I used small pillows to cushion myself. I had a total of 3 inflations until the tissue expander reached the size it needed to be and then I was in wait mode.

The doctor had to be sure that my skin was ready for me to undergo the next surgery to remove the expander and put an implant in. In the interim, I saw the breast surgeon for an exam and get his feelings on which implant I should chose. I initially was going for saline, but after talking to him and a woman who had saline, they both recommended silicone. With their endorsement, my mind was made up and I'd done all the reading necessary when trying to decide which of the two to use and I felt comfortble with the combined decision.

Fast forward to January 11th, 2008...
Mum came up again for me to have my next surgery and again stayed at the hospital with me. My recover from anethesia was easy this go around and I felt much better a lot sooner. My unaffected breast was lifted after the implant was placed in the affected breast to provided symetry and better asthetics. I wanted a small implant in the unaffected breast, but the doctor wanted to wait for another chest x-ray and mamo before he felt comfortable doing it just in case there was a problem. I went home the next day and was out of work for 4 weeks. The first go around I was out for almost 8 weeks. I felt pretty good, but still had to take it easy, which I did.
I went through all of my post-op appointments and was back into the swing of things.

In March, 2008, I saw the breast surgeon again as well as the oncologist. Another chest x-ray and mamo was ordered and it was later determined that I was completely clean and could now schedule my final surgery to have the small implant put into my unaffected breast to finalize the reconstruction and symetry.

In May, 2008, I underwent the final surgery and took a week off work to recuperate. It should have been at least two, but I didn't want to go through the disability paperwork drama and I had enough comp time to be out for a week without having to use leave. The pain was actually more than I expected it to be and found myself wondering how women increase their breast sizes because they can. My procedure wasn't for vanity and on a couple of occasions, I wondered if I should have done it. Of course, I know I needed to, but shit, that pain is something.

So, here I am now almost a year to the date of my diagnosis, stronger emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I feel empowered for being so proactive in how I had to get through it all. Trust me when I tell you that I had some pretty shitty days. I allowed myself to feel whatever I was feeling and then I moved on. I refused to allow myself to wallow in misery or pity. Some very good things came out of it and I'm happy for those blessings.

The moral of this story is to listen to your body; I can't stress that enough. Had I not listened to my uterus acting a fool and continued popping pain pills, it would have been October before I saw my GYN because that's when I would have been due for my annual. Had I not listened and also had a doctor who took advantage of the time he had to examine me, my diagnosis and treatment options could have been a lot different.

I hope my story serves a means to encourage all of my female readers to ignore the discomfort of a mamogram and get it done as you're required. In fact, get all of your tests done! My male readers, please encourage the women in your lives to take care of themselves and get to the doctor when they need to. It's a known fact that women in committed relationships are often the second to know when lump is discovered.

Men, you aren't off the hook here. I implore each of you to get your health checked; know your familiy's medical history; where necessary and able, please ask; and don't ignore your body when it's doing something odd. Ask questions and do your research if you're unsure of what you're being tested for and do not settle for inadequate care.

Thank you all for reading my story, for sharing your heartfelt/heartwarming prayers and good wishes with me, and most of all for seeing me as a resource and testimony for why it's so important to be healthwise.

Love!

Health Wealth #5

So, by now you know that I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2007. You know that it was (obviously) quite a shock, but a blow that I had to endure and fight through. You should be up to date, but if you're not, please refer back to the previous posts on this Health Wealth series.

Now for more of the story...

I’ve had surgery before, but nothing compared to this. Knowing that a part of my body would be essentially amputated and reconstructed was very scary. I was surrounded by my mum, my manager from work, who’s a role model, friend, and mentor rolled into one, lil lady, and bestie while I waited for the nurses to do their pre-surgery intake stuff. Once that was all taken care of, my mum and manager prayed over me and I was wheeled down to the OR.

Hours later, I woke up in agony, and wondered when the pain meds would actually work. Lil lady was snuck into the recovery room to see me and I stayed awake long enough to see her beautiful face and she was taken away. I really didn’t want her seeing me like that anyway as she already had a hard enough time accepting or dealing with what I was going through. I was finally taken to my room where a few close friends came to see me. I was pretty put of it and let the nurses and mum take care of me. I didn’t do well with the anesthesia and it wasn’t until almost 2:00am that I started to feel some relief. Mum stayed the night in the hospital with me to ensure that I was well taken care of; I was!

The next morning, the breast surgeon came to see me and explained that he was able to perform the surgery with the absolute best outcome and I was thrilled; that being my nipple was still in tact, which was something he couldn’t determine until the surgery was in progress. The reconstructive surgeon came in later and told me he was able to successfully begin the reconstruction; happiness continued. The pain was horrible, but I was alive and with favorable results.

Now, I’m sure there are those of you unfamiliar with breast surgeries, so I’ll explain the procedure I had done as it was not a typical mastectomy.

I received what’s called a Skin Sparing Mastectomy. This form of mastectomy is performed a few different ways, but this is how mine was done because my cancer was in two locations in my breast.

1. The underneath of my breast was cut open and lifted up.
2. The breast muscle was removed along with the breast tissue.
3. All of my breast skin and nipple remained in tact. (A typical mastectomy removes the breast skin and the nipple. Other Skin Sparing Mastectomies remove the nipple and the cancerous tissue).
4. A tissue expander was then placed under the skin with a small amount of saline to begin the process to expand the skin and make room for an implant later on.
5. A drain (typical procedure) was placed into my chest wall to remove excess fluid.
6. A bandage was wrapped around my chest to as a protective aid for the incision, the drain, and the expander.

Although I’m not in favor of “drive-thru” mastectomies (one day hospital stays), I was released from the hospital the day after my surgery because I was fearful of hospital-borne infections and I figured I’d be more comfortable at home.

As required and necessary, lymph nodes are removed and I was fortunate that only one of mine was removed the day of surgery and it was later determined to be within good margins; meaning the cancer was contained and my need for chemo and radiation was not necessary. Praise God!

I went home and began the process of healing and reconstruction.

Love!

Health Wealth #4

Once, I’d swallowed the jagged little pill (my diagnosis), I became a woman on a mission. I began to research my cancer, its success rate post surgery, my need to be on medicine, my surgical options, and any other related things. I would leave no stone unturned in my quest for receiving the best treatment possible. I visited the oncologist, who explained my pathology results to me again and made an initial decision as to whether or not I’d need chemotherapy and/or radiation. After going through my initial required tests; blood tests, MRI, PET scan, Nuclear Tests, it was off to the breast surgeon. He came recommended by my GYN and I took my bestie with me for moral support and so I could have someone else listen and help me get through the initial consult. Naturally, I had thousands of questions, but the one I really wanted answered; how? He had no answer for. I left his office feeling rather emotional and dejected. Here I was, the poster child for good health and I had breast cancer. I went home and tried to deal with my emotions and what he told me regarding the surgery.

A week or so later, I went to the reconstructive surgeon; whom came highly recommended by the breast surgeon to discuss his role in my surgical process. I took my sis with me for this appt for moral support and also to listen and get a feel for the doctor just as my bestie did with the breast surgeon. I felt completely at ease with the doctor, his staff, and how he explained his role in my surgical process. I had no chose, but to have a mastectomy, and I chose to have reconstruction begin the same day, so I’d be undergoing two procedures on the same day. I left his office feeling educated, but still anxious. I just wanted to get the damn mess done.

Some back story…It took me two days to tell my mother about my diagnosis because I needed time to digest it all and at the time we were barely even speaking. I called my aunt in London first and told her and then I called my mum. She didn’t take it very well, but after regaining her composure, she told me she’d be there for me and would travel from Florida to be there for my surgery. That was the first step in our healing our differences. God is good! *smile* I told only those closest to me as I’m not one for being the center of attention and I didn’t want to be bombarded with questions etc. I just wanted to deal with it in my own way. I was surrounded by love, prayers, and support. There were some days where I was okay to function and other days where all I could do was cry and deal with the conflicted emotions I felt. I was happy that it was diagnosed and treatable, but at the same time I was confused and even a little angry.

Nurse Leslie from the radiology office had given me some information on Gilda’s Club, which is a support group for people living with or have had cancer. I had called when she told me to even though she strongly recommended I should, but on one of my bad days, I called and it was one of the best things I could have done. I went through the intake process and decided that Gilda’s would be beneficial in helping me deal with the diagnosis and be a place where I could learn, heal, and grow.

During one of the special events geared toward breast cancer, I received some information from a reconstructive/cosmetic surgeon from Thomas Jefferson Hospital in PA that would change the outcome of my surgery and give me a better surgical option in terms of my mastectomy and reconstruction. This information was shared with my breast and reconstructive surgeons and they mutually agreed that I was a good candidate for it and could receive that particular surgery. I was ecstatic and felt extremely empowered that I took a proactive and aggressive stand in how I would be treated medically/surgically.

Fast forward to August 29 (2007) and that was the date the first of my three surgeries.

Thanks for your continued support and interest; more next time.

Love!

Health wealth #3

So, for those of you who read yesterday's post are familiar with a health issue I was faced with last year. You also read how important it is to listen to your body when it's sending you messages. Today, I will continue the story...

It's June 25th (2007) and I have an appointment to get my right breast biopsied due to the mass that was visible on the mamo and the ultrasound. I went alone and waited patiently for my name to be called. The nurses are very friendly and explain the process to me. Dr. Peggy comes in and goes over what she'll be doing and why. I nod in acceptance and proceed to undergo the biopsy. Several pieces of tissue is removed from the mass on the side of my breast and is placed in a dish, which'll be sent to the pathologist. Having the smaller mass biopsied was optional, but Dr. Peggy advised getting it biopsied too; so I agreed. Typically, I have an extremely high pain threshold, but when the machine was pressed down against the first incision, I immediately wept and nurse Leslie was right there rubbing my back and comforting me. She asked if anyone was coming for me and I said that I'd driven myself. She felt really bad for my discomfort and for the fact I was there alone.

Upon completing the biopsy, Dr. Peggy explained that the tissue samples would be sent out and when the results came back, they'd call and I'd have to come back in for the results be they positive or negative. I asked if they could simply tell me over the phone, but they said, that's not their policy and a face to face is how it would happen. I managed to go back to work (ice pack in bra) and make it through almost the rest of the day.

Fast forward now two days later to June 27th....
I'm at work doing my daily tasks and I get a call from nurse Leslie telliong me my results were in and I needed to come in the next day. Knowing that I wouldn't get the results over the phone, I agreed to come in on my lunch break. I had no sooner hung up the phone and my GYN called to tell me he had my pathology results in and they were positive. He does not believe in witholding test results as he feels it heightens the anxiety. He explained the results to me and said, "once you get over the shock of this call, get on the internet and do your research." He gave me the name of the breast surgeon he wanted me to see and told me to call and make an appointment to see him

Surprisingly I didn't cry at first; that happened when I called my bestie and told her. I calmed back down and went to see a friend from my former work group who'd had colon cancer the year before and told her. She immediately teared up and she held me close to her. We got ourselves together and she called her oncologist to get me an appointment. I some how managed to make it through the rest of the day and on the ride home from work, I had to come to terms with the news that I'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer!

More next time...

Love!

Health Wealth #2

For those of you who keep up with my posts/blog, you know I'm an advocate for healthcare, health awareness, and health maintenance. My reasons for being aware are long standing as I've seen too many people compromise their health for the stupidest of reasons. I'm the kind of person who listens to her body and if a symptom goes on for a little too long, I'd rather spend the time and money for the copay to find out the test result is negative rather than ignore it.

Last year, in late May, my uterus was acting a little too stank for my liking and popping 800mgs of Rx ibuprophen like M&Ms was no longer beneficial or a good idea; so I called my GYN for an appointment. He moved practices, but he is the most fantastic doctor ever and I knew making the haul to his new office would be worth it to me. He didn't have my old chart, but recalled my last visit without missing a beat and proceeded to examine me and make some suggestions on how to deal with the issue. Seeing as I was there, he considered that my annual (though it wasn't due until October) and suggested I get a baseline mamogram seeing as I was turning 40 in the fall. I did as he ordered and schedule the mamo.

June 8th, I got my breasts pressed and unusually conformed into the machine and went on about my business. A few days later, I received a call saying I'd need to come back because they saw something that didn't seem right.

June 15th, I returned and went through the procedure again and they again saw what was on the first one. The next thing I know is I'm being scooted into a room to get an ultrasound of my right breast. The radiologist was not comfortable in making a determination and scheduled me for a biopsy.

That's where the "fun" began....stay tuned for updates...

Love!

Health Wealth

For those of use who are fortunate to receive health care benefits and have access to adequate medical care, let me ask you this; are you using it? Health care is one of the primary issues on the political climate today, but it's not an issue that is new; just one that has been brought to the forefront of late. There are varying reasons why it's a hot topic, but I'm going to share my two cents on the subject.

So, for those of us who pay for health care benefits and have access to good doctors and medical facilities, why are there so many who aren't using what they're paying for? How many people go to their primary care doctor for an annual checkup or women go to their GYN? I'm appalled at the number of people who don't see their doctors at least annually. So, why are people bitching and griping about a service they're paying for and still won't and don't use it? In a word; stupidity.

My intent it not to insult anyone, but to advocate health wealth. We sit around talking about relationships, which celeb is doing what to/with whom, but how many are talking about health care? I'd hazard a guess that the numbers are few. I recently had a conversation with a dear friend who informed me that she hasn't seen a GYN in years. I was stunned! When she told me about the problems she was having, I advised her that she needs to immediately seek a doctor and undergo some tests to isolate the issue. She informed me that she has excellent benefits and gap insurance should she have to be out of work for an extended period of time. So, my question to her was, "why aren't you using what you're paying for?" Her reply, "I don't know." Followed by, "my doctor moved and I haven't found a new one." It was at this point, the term "health wealth" came to me. Health wealth is the sharing of information that can be useful to another person in need of health care services and may not know where to go or have a point of reference.

In the continued conversation with my friend, I shared with her the story of a friend who had good health care benefits and 1) didn't adequately use it and 2) ignored the signs her body was given her and when she finally sought help, she had to have the most drastic procedure available in order to improve her quality of life and relieve her of the problems she'd been having for years. Issues like this are prevalent in our society and community.

We must start talking about real issues; issues that affect our lives and our health. We must stop ignoring the signs our bodies send us and we should seek assistance from our friends/family when we need to find a new doctor or medical facility. As a race, we're deficit in receiving adequate health care and we make it worse, but not taking care of our health concerns until it's too late. The internet provides a wealth of information where we can find the basis for some of the things that affect our health. We can speak with others who might have shared their health problems and ask them for references so we can find a doctor suitable to our needs. In addition and most importantly, we must communicate our needs to our medical providers. We have to ask questions about the tests they're sending us for; we must maintain our own records of test results and use them as a baseline for future tests; and if the service being provided for us is rushed or lacks proper explanation, then we reserve the right to withdraw ourselves from that doctor. Furthermore, we are paying for the service no differently than we would for service for our vehicles, so we must express dissatisfaction appropriately in order to receive the care we require.

We need to inquire with our family members about their health and communicate anything that seems out of the norm with our doctors. It's important for doctors to know if there's a family history or a particular illness and if you don't know; ask. We must stop keep "family secrets" when it comes to health issues because without the knowledge, our treatment options can be greatly reduced. It's also important for us to attend health care fairs where many screenings are provided free of charge and the results are given immediately. Another thing that we should consider participating in are clinical trials for medicines or treatment options. Why? Because these trials provide the foundation for whether a medicine can be used within a field of treatment or if you're already being treated for a medical condition, you're on the forefront of improved treatment options.

There are many things that we can do to play a pivotal role in the way we receive medical care; however, the primary is communication. Please take the time to get to your doctors; follow up on health care issues; encourage your friends and family to seek medical help, and stop being afraid. Fear plays another role in health care practices and we must stop being afraid to know if we have something wrong. As the saying goes; "Early detection means early cure"

Love!