I think skinny dipping is great
Ever wonder if that cute girl/guy you've been crushing on will look as cute while they're sleeping?
If you became famous, how much of your life would you change?
I don't feel sorry for celebs who eff their lives up because I'm offended that they've squandered their talent and shit on those who are struggling to make it.
I had an opportunity to date celebs and turned it down. Just didn't want to 1) become just a f*ck and 2) didn't want my life to be on display by being with them
You're given $10,000 to get cosmetic surgery, what would you change and why?
Sometimes I look at the guys in men's magazines and wonder if 1) they're gay or 2) how big their penis is.
Kissing on the first date; a go or no go?
I have a mental crush on a few actors and wonder if they'd kiss as good in real life as they make it look on t.v
Then again, I'm not sure I'd really want to know because I'd be really disappointed if it were bad. This is the one time I think fantasy is better than reality
How come fat people always order diet drinks?
If you're completely compatible in every way with the object of your affection, but they can't really move you in bed, do you settle for bad sex or move on?
I considered changing my name to something else when I was younger and sometimes wish I'd gone through with it
How come smokers smoke in their car and then throw the butts out the window?
If a man masturbates, does that constitute murder? (been thinking about that for some time after watching Legally Blonde)
I've worn something and then taken it back for no other reason than I just wanted it for the occasion
I know stealing is wrong, but got quite a kick out of doing it when I was a kid. I'd be hard pressed to do it now though. Guess I've got too much to lose.
I feel guilty when I hear gospel songs that I don't like
I have a family member that I want to slap the taste out of her mouth so bad
If you found out you were dating your half-brother/sister how would you confront your parent(s)?
I like to send cards/notes through snail mail just because
I saw a boy in girls skinny jeans and it was very disturbing to me because he had a girlfriend. (since when were girls jeans interchangeable? Help!)
I've often wondered what it would be like to see myself through someone else's eyes...literally!
06 May 2010
05 May 2010
what makes me happy
Knowing and appreciating that I'm a child of God
Standing up even when I want to fall down
Seeing Lil Lady smile
Cooking and watching people eat
Playing tambourine in church
Spending time with my cousins in FL
Getting into or creating shenanigans
Hearts Desire
Being the woman i am
Waiting for love to come instead of forcing it to happen
Stolen moments
Being a blessing to others and being in a position to bless others
Hagen Daaz Five mint ice cream
Sunflowers and Calla Lillies
Being encouraged
It's all possible!
Standing up even when I want to fall down
Seeing Lil Lady smile
Cooking and watching people eat
Playing tambourine in church
Spending time with my cousins in FL
Getting into or creating shenanigans
Hearts Desire
Being the woman i am
Waiting for love to come instead of forcing it to happen
Stolen moments
Being a blessing to others and being in a position to bless others
Hagen Daaz Five mint ice cream
Sunflowers and Calla Lillies
Being encouraged
It's all possible!
28 April 2010
From afar
This past Saturday, i had an opportunity to see Heart's Desire as he was on the east coast for business. In light of what I'm going through, seeing him was a pleasant detour from my current journey and sharing time with him filled in some of the emptiness in my life.
Our time was limited due to his having to head back to NY that evening, but limited time was still time enough as quality over quantity prevails in my book.
The feelings we have for each other are still very much in tact and it's amazing how two people remain so well connected in spite of a three thousand mile gap between them. It served to remind me that distance is no match for what one feels in their heart. Lil Lady likes him; even after only meeting him twice now and believes that the company he recently did business with will make him an offer he can't refuse and he'll be hack on the east coast. She is absolutely convinced that he and I will end up together and that the current she in his life doesn't have his heart; I do. Rather impressive and lofty thoughts, but I embrace them as we are well suited for each other.
Right now, I need every positive thought I can get and have, so I'll take it and tuck it into my heart as I continue to get little reminders that delay does not mean denial.
Enjoy your day family.
It's all possible!
Our time was limited due to his having to head back to NY that evening, but limited time was still time enough as quality over quantity prevails in my book.
The feelings we have for each other are still very much in tact and it's amazing how two people remain so well connected in spite of a three thousand mile gap between them. It served to remind me that distance is no match for what one feels in their heart. Lil Lady likes him; even after only meeting him twice now and believes that the company he recently did business with will make him an offer he can't refuse and he'll be hack on the east coast. She is absolutely convinced that he and I will end up together and that the current she in his life doesn't have his heart; I do. Rather impressive and lofty thoughts, but I embrace them as we are well suited for each other.
Right now, I need every positive thought I can get and have, so I'll take it and tuck it into my heart as I continue to get little reminders that delay does not mean denial.
Enjoy your day family.
where do i even begin?
It's funny; actually it's not, how life takes sudden turns that exceed the normal left turns in Albuquerque and leave you stranded on life's highway saying, "what happened, and how the hell did I get here?"
Well, of late that's been the state of my existence. I woke up one morning and found out that I was one of the many people who would be laid off due to the company losing the contract. I was neither shocked nor disappointed as I knew it had nothing to do with my work performance; however, the prospect of being unemployed didn't sit well with me as I like working. I did consider how long it would take me to become re-employed? Did I have enough saved as not to touch my IRA? And what would I do with my now abundance of free time?
I used the time to take on an autobiographical writing project that I've been encouraged to write for some time now. It began with some ease, but I hit a couple of roadblocks and put said project on hold. Shortly before I decided to take it on again, another spin out occurred...I was informed that someone who had a major roll in my life died suddenly and since that fateful day, my life has been somewhat of a blur.
As much as I want to go back to work, I realize that the timing of my job loss and the life loss afforded me the time to handle affairs that have left me emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I have a gaping wide whole in my life and heart right now and have no idea how/when it'll close. Time heals they say, but I don't want time to heal a damn thing, I just want to hit rewind and get back what should still be here anyway.
Anger, pain, and frustration aside, I strive to move forward and embrace life and living a lot stronger/harder than I did before. I'm looking at life more closely and effectively because losing my recently turned 46 year influential person showed me that we don't know how/when our life will be over and we've got to find and hold on to things of substance; release ourselves from the drama/pain/toxicity and live and make things possible.
Those who know of my loss, tell me that I'm a strong woman and that I can get through this, but what if I don't want to be strong? What if I want or need to be weak? Does anyone ever consider that? Do people really think that just because one is perceived to be strong that they can handle all the shit the life drops in their life? Uhm? I'll take "no, for a thousand Alex!" Yes, I've overcome a lot of pain, adversity, and generally being screwed over and shit on in my life; all of which I can say I've gotten over; at least for the most part. But this, my dear readers, is not something I'm going to simply "get over". I'm not going to wake up one morning and think that his loss was a good thing. I'm not going to be stronger because he's gone. My strength doesn't make a Super Woman; all it does and has done is make me find alternative ways to deal with the crap. This not so much! I hate that he's gone! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!!!!
The ONLY summation I can give to this is that God must have one heck of a plan for me and that He's going to bless me with something amazing. All of these trials are the polishing tools to bring me to my most refined and ready point to receive His blessing. I have opened my heart and mind to this thought because I believe it and because it's the only thing that makes sense of the sudden changes in my life.
Well, that's all folks! I haven't re read this so I haven't a clue if it makes sense or follows any logical sequence, which would be in total keeping with my life.
Well, of late that's been the state of my existence. I woke up one morning and found out that I was one of the many people who would be laid off due to the company losing the contract. I was neither shocked nor disappointed as I knew it had nothing to do with my work performance; however, the prospect of being unemployed didn't sit well with me as I like working. I did consider how long it would take me to become re-employed? Did I have enough saved as not to touch my IRA? And what would I do with my now abundance of free time?
I used the time to take on an autobiographical writing project that I've been encouraged to write for some time now. It began with some ease, but I hit a couple of roadblocks and put said project on hold. Shortly before I decided to take it on again, another spin out occurred...I was informed that someone who had a major roll in my life died suddenly and since that fateful day, my life has been somewhat of a blur.
As much as I want to go back to work, I realize that the timing of my job loss and the life loss afforded me the time to handle affairs that have left me emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I have a gaping wide whole in my life and heart right now and have no idea how/when it'll close. Time heals they say, but I don't want time to heal a damn thing, I just want to hit rewind and get back what should still be here anyway.
Anger, pain, and frustration aside, I strive to move forward and embrace life and living a lot stronger/harder than I did before. I'm looking at life more closely and effectively because losing my recently turned 46 year influential person showed me that we don't know how/when our life will be over and we've got to find and hold on to things of substance; release ourselves from the drama/pain/toxicity and live and make things possible.
Those who know of my loss, tell me that I'm a strong woman and that I can get through this, but what if I don't want to be strong? What if I want or need to be weak? Does anyone ever consider that? Do people really think that just because one is perceived to be strong that they can handle all the shit the life drops in their life? Uhm? I'll take "no, for a thousand Alex!" Yes, I've overcome a lot of pain, adversity, and generally being screwed over and shit on in my life; all of which I can say I've gotten over; at least for the most part. But this, my dear readers, is not something I'm going to simply "get over". I'm not going to wake up one morning and think that his loss was a good thing. I'm not going to be stronger because he's gone. My strength doesn't make a Super Woman; all it does and has done is make me find alternative ways to deal with the crap. This not so much! I hate that he's gone! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!!!!
The ONLY summation I can give to this is that God must have one heck of a plan for me and that He's going to bless me with something amazing. All of these trials are the polishing tools to bring me to my most refined and ready point to receive His blessing. I have opened my heart and mind to this thought because I believe it and because it's the only thing that makes sense of the sudden changes in my life.
Well, that's all folks! I haven't re read this so I haven't a clue if it makes sense or follows any logical sequence, which would be in total keeping with my life.
It's all possible (whatever IT is)
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