Men – Do you routinely practice acts of chivalry? I’m defining it as, doing things for woman that could have been taught in “charm” school or that are considered old school/traditional behavior. Do you have a problem opening doors, being prompt, allowing the woman to go first; things of that nature? How many of you still believe in the fine art of courting and dating? Yes, it’s a given that you might sex; hell, we want it too, but are you willing to wait for it?
Women – Do you routinely accept or expect this kind of behavior? Are you willing to allow the man to lead, to do kind things without thinking he has an agenda, and would you reciprocate in kind? Do you also believe in the art of being courted and dated? Are you willing to wait for sex?
Why am I asking this? Well, as a strong, independent, and assertive woman, I still appreciate and sometimes expect those traditional/chivalrous values. I carry myself in a ladylike manner and expect to be treated accordingly. I thoroughly enjoy being treated like a lady. I still hold an appreciation for the traditional values that don’t seem to be taught in our homes and society these days. How can we expect our children to know how to act if they’re not taught?
We need to get out of the habit of thinking sex or attraction equals the making of a good relationship. We need to seek substance, good and consistent qualities and not think that because he looks good on paper, makes him a good mate. Think about the character Blair Underwood played in Madea’s Family Reunion who from the outside was the perfect catch; meanwhile he was beating chicks ass often. Instead of Mr. Looks Good on Paper, why not consider Mr. Cable Guy who can fix ish around the house, listen to you when you’ve had a bad day, instead of beating your ass at the end of it.
Men, I’m asking you to stop treating woman as disposable objects and consider how you’d feel if some dude was doing that very same thing to your mother, sister, or daughter. I’m asking you to see beyond the fat ass and tig ol bitties! Look for her heart and her entire being. Find her core and share yours with her.
In speaking with a man who not only routinely, but proudly treats women in a polite and respectable fashion, he advised me that some women do not like it or understand it. I looked at him like, “are you serious?” In a day and age where women are often complaining there are no real men still in the world, here one is and he’s being under appreciated. He said, there was an occasion where he took a woman to a formal function and she didn’t know how to use the various utensils. On another occasion he said, the woman he was out with asked him what he wanted/expected because he was treating her in such a nice way. Can you believe such a thing? Sadly we can, because women have and continue to sell themselves out for dinner, a bill payment, or something material thing. I thought it was a shame that a woman would even think like that. But I guess it’s the times we live in where everything comes with a price.
If, as a man or woman don’t know how to receive this treatment, speak to someone you know who has a good relationship and ask for some advise. Let’s all stop hiding behind walls to so-call protect ourselves and instead work with and for each other to bring the walls down. Let’s start with the root and work upward from there. Let’s have real and honest dialogue and get to know the real person behind the suit, overalls, nice car, home, or whatever gets you so easily caught up and distracted.
Personally, a man who opens/holds doors, escorts me under an umbrella, has good table manners, engages in good and interactive conversation is wonderful. No, it’s not just about sex, it’s simply about being polite and respectable. As ladies, we should learn to accept and appreciate that there are men who still uphold these values and show him that we enjoy it. Remember it’s the simple things that carry the most weight. My brothers, please learn these things if you haven’t already and my sisters, allow a man to lead and show him you are thankful that he’s treating you like a lady and not like a bitch or ho.
My brothers and sisters, there is no harm in being single and wear that title proudly. You still as empty after hooking up as you were before you did it, so consider how much you’re really getting for what you’re giving. Temporary gratification is no match for long term reward/satisfaction. I was celibate for almost 3 years once before and I’ll do it again before I use myself as a cum dumpster in the name of sexual independence.
Let’s get out there and teach our children and our neighbours the value of self-worth/respect. Hell, let’s check our peers and help them see the error of their ways. We can’t help each other if we talk about them instead of too them. I know what you’re saying, “they’re grown, they’re gonna do what they wanna do”. Yes, that could very well be true, but consider that this could be simply learned behavior because no one taught them any better or they didn't have any real examples to follow.
Let’s try to think outside the box luvies and start doing things to uplift ourselves in order to have relationships of substance. Remember this though, you can’t ask for something of another if you’re not right with yourself first.
It's all possible!
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
08 January 2010
21 December 2009
The Madness of Married Men
So, in my last post, I mentioned how I was propositioned by a married man and how I gracefully declined his oh, so generous offer to be his 1st Place Second, His Jump-Off, His Mistress, His Friend with Benefits, F*ck Buddy, or any one of the many names one can assign to someone screwing a married man.
Since declining, he has not withdrawn from engaging in conversation with me even though I clearly stated that he and I could not and would not be more than friends citing that he was cool with it. Well, news flash, he's a gosh damn liar! But who would be surprised by that given that he cheats on his wife.
Save for one conversation, he's found a way to turn everything we talk about into a sexually toned conversation. Now, I'm no prude and am clearly uncensored, so I've replied to some of his inquiries, but always deferred to the man whom I felt the query spoke to. I never, and I do; loud and clearly say, never defer anything to said married man directly or even indirectly. I tell him I have no reason to wonder what he's like in bed. I've stated that I have no desire to entertain such curiosity as it serves neither of us a purpose; yet he continues.
So, after this mornings conversation where he stated he wished he could have be available to put lotion on me and or watch me putting lotion on, I politely said, I was quite capable of performing said job all by myself.
Given that my need for cerebral stimulation far surpasses the trivial and quite frankly rather boring topic of sex, I've grown rather less than enthused with his ability to provide me with the correct form of conversational interaction that I so desire. Therefore, I shall have to "give him the biznezz", quoting my twin cuzzie who is rather adept and telling people about themselves. While I have absolutely no problem giving people the bizness, I usually try to deflect and see if they'll see the error of their ways first. Well, it's apparent that MM just isn't quite getting that I'm not interested in his need to make all conversations sexual, so he's gonna get the bizness.
I'm going to let him know in no uncertain terms that he has 2 choices 1) engage me in a respectable and dignified manner or 2) cease and desist in any future conversation with me.
I can not and will not be party to any form of conduct that could lead to my integrity to be compromised. I shall not be party to his need to be so overtly sexual that he can't have a contain himself in a dignified manner. And finally, I will not allow myself to be demeaned in any manner. I pride myself on being a classy woman and I require that I'm treated accordingly.
I wonder how he'd feel if someone were approaching his wife in the same fashion he's coming at me? Maybe I could arrange that...
And that's my dime in the bucket for today. As always, love to live; live to love!
Since declining, he has not withdrawn from engaging in conversation with me even though I clearly stated that he and I could not and would not be more than friends citing that he was cool with it. Well, news flash, he's a gosh damn liar! But who would be surprised by that given that he cheats on his wife.
Save for one conversation, he's found a way to turn everything we talk about into a sexually toned conversation. Now, I'm no prude and am clearly uncensored, so I've replied to some of his inquiries, but always deferred to the man whom I felt the query spoke to. I never, and I do; loud and clearly say, never defer anything to said married man directly or even indirectly. I tell him I have no reason to wonder what he's like in bed. I've stated that I have no desire to entertain such curiosity as it serves neither of us a purpose; yet he continues.
So, after this mornings conversation where he stated he wished he could have be available to put lotion on me and or watch me putting lotion on, I politely said, I was quite capable of performing said job all by myself.
Given that my need for cerebral stimulation far surpasses the trivial and quite frankly rather boring topic of sex, I've grown rather less than enthused with his ability to provide me with the correct form of conversational interaction that I so desire. Therefore, I shall have to "give him the biznezz", quoting my twin cuzzie who is rather adept and telling people about themselves. While I have absolutely no problem giving people the bizness, I usually try to deflect and see if they'll see the error of their ways first. Well, it's apparent that MM just isn't quite getting that I'm not interested in his need to make all conversations sexual, so he's gonna get the bizness.
I'm going to let him know in no uncertain terms that he has 2 choices 1) engage me in a respectable and dignified manner or 2) cease and desist in any future conversation with me.
I can not and will not be party to any form of conduct that could lead to my integrity to be compromised. I shall not be party to his need to be so overtly sexual that he can't have a contain himself in a dignified manner. And finally, I will not allow myself to be demeaned in any manner. I pride myself on being a classy woman and I require that I'm treated accordingly.
I wonder how he'd feel if someone were approaching his wife in the same fashion he's coming at me? Maybe I could arrange that...
And that's my dime in the bucket for today. As always, love to live; live to love!
24 September 2009
What One Dance Can Do
I know; I know! I'm taking too long between posts. It's not intentional; trust me, but I've got something that will take your mind of my absense. Enjoy...
Conjoined like Siamese twins we move in one motion
Feeling the energy ignited by a rhythmic dance
Awakening the wave coursing through our bodies
Sexual arousal emits as topical penetration ensues
Thrusting us closer to the errant climb of desire
Lust; the effervescent high supplying the fuel
Intoxicated by the sweet elixir of our kiss
We submit to the passion created and act with abandon
Cementing the connection into a cosmic oral bliss
© Blu Jewel 2009
Love to live; Live to love
Conjoined like Siamese twins we move in one motion
Feeling the energy ignited by a rhythmic dance
Awakening the wave coursing through our bodies
Sexual arousal emits as topical penetration ensues
Thrusting us closer to the errant climb of desire
Lust; the effervescent high supplying the fuel
Intoxicated by the sweet elixir of our kiss
We submit to the passion created and act with abandon
Cementing the connection into a cosmic oral bliss
© Blu Jewel 2009
Love to live; Live to love
15 July 2009
Read this, voice your concern, and be aware; very aware of your actions
I was over at Oh Hell Nawl and came across a sad, but ABSOLUTE MUST READ post.
Please make time to check it out and please share your concerns/opinions on the story either on here or on the OHN site.
Real Talk
Please make time to check it out and please share your concerns/opinions on the story either on here or on the OHN site.
Real Talk
04 June 2009
it's in his/her kiss
If anyone had heard the conversation Lil Lady and I were having the other day, they would not have thought a 17 y/o would have been conversing with her mother; but we're cool like that and talk about anything. So, what were we talking about? Kissing!
I've had a long-standing philosophy that if you can't kiss, you can't f*ck! It's something I determined in my late teens after I'd broken up with my high school boyfriend, whom while an arse hole, was in fact a great kisser and good lover. He was the only man I'd known and having been with him for two years (16-18), I'd learned a fair amount about sex and intimacy.
During my freshman year of college, I had a crush on a basketball player. He was tall, cute, nice body; all the things a young woman wants in a man, but when it came to kissing, he was awful. I felt like an algae fish was on my face. I got no sparks; nada, zilch, zip, zero. I figured it was a fluke as we were both a little nervous, so I let it slide. The next time I kissed him, it was an immediate replication of the first and I decided that he would not be a suitable match for me. I promptly ended my interest in him. I reconciled myself to not dating and keeping books and my frequent trips to NYC as my priority. Some time later, a young lady expressed an interest in said baller and asked if I was still seeing him. I told her no and she asked why. I cited that we were incompatible and left it at that. She pressed for details, inquiring if he was a jerk, insensitive, etc. Wanting to spare sullying his name, I tried to maintain a generic reason, but she again pressed, so I told her he couldn't kiss. She seemed stunned that that would be a reason and I told her my philosophy and one that has been confirmed by myself and others to be true. I told her she was willing to do whatever she wanted with my information; save for telling him my actual reason (which he never knew).
She began dating him and that ended maybe a couple of months after we'd spoken. I wasn't aware it was over when I inquired and she immediately told me that I was right. Duh? Really? Of course I didn't say that to her, but you know I thought it. She said, his kisses were wet and sloppy and his sex was equally awkward and messy. She'd gone as far as to inquire (casually) about his skills with a couple of other girls (he was an upperclassman) and they likewise said he wasn't "all that" or a "disappointment". She told me that she now wishes she'd listened to me and would add my philosophy to her repetoire of deal breakers when seeking a relationship.
Okay, story told for history. Now to my point...
It really is in how a man kisses that you know whether or not you want to go any futher. His kiss will tell you many things and if you can see past worrying about his hurt feelings for you prematurely ending your interest in him, you'll agree that he probably would have been lousy in bed. I've shared my view with my boys and other males that I know and they, too are in compliance. Kissing is the gateway to sex and intimacy. In fact, kissing is the greatest form of intimacy; hence, why prostitutes do not kiss on the mouth. Did you think they didn't do it for no reason?
Now, think back to some bad kisses in your day and you'd slept with any of them, was the sex bad? You don't need to name names; we respect the privacy of others and will protect the orally challenged. *lol*
All jokes aside though, if my 17 y/o who's kissed two boys in her entire precious life knows this, then there is something to be learned here. Please don't think you can 'train' someone how to kiss as you're only going to get frustrated and ultimately lead them to thinking they're actually able to be a match for you. Remember two good people aren't always good together. Chemistry is a powerful tool and something that can not be manufactured. Imagine being in the height of sexual emotion and arousal and whom you're with kisses you and it's all sloppy and ish and it skunks your entire groove? That would be like someone bumping the turntable and the vinyl skipping. That's a bad look as the whole party is now shut down.
I've been fortunate to respond quickly and efficiently to ending kisses that aren't favorable and as previously stated, found a way to end the progression of the relationship before I had the misfortune of having my sexual experience turn into a disaster. I think of one person in particular who's got kissing on lock and damn if he didn't ever prove his worth in that kiss. I promptly and well-deservingly assigned 'Kiss of Life' as his theme song because that kiss was truly like my kiss of life. To date he's managed to maintain his Hall of Fame status and that's one hell of an achievement on his part.
So, my PSA and lesson learned for the day is...Kiss and tell...tell him/her that there are incompatibilties that will not aspire to a good progression of the relationship if that's the direction you're heading in. It's better to be honest and roll out than to stick it out and settle for less than stellar intimacy; that's just not a good thing. However, if kissing ain't your thing, then you go ahead and do you in however you see fit; cause I'm not one to knock what is acceptable to another. Just don't bring that sloppy ish my way!!!!
Love to live; live to love!
I've had a long-standing philosophy that if you can't kiss, you can't f*ck! It's something I determined in my late teens after I'd broken up with my high school boyfriend, whom while an arse hole, was in fact a great kisser and good lover. He was the only man I'd known and having been with him for two years (16-18), I'd learned a fair amount about sex and intimacy.
During my freshman year of college, I had a crush on a basketball player. He was tall, cute, nice body; all the things a young woman wants in a man, but when it came to kissing, he was awful. I felt like an algae fish was on my face. I got no sparks; nada, zilch, zip, zero. I figured it was a fluke as we were both a little nervous, so I let it slide. The next time I kissed him, it was an immediate replication of the first and I decided that he would not be a suitable match for me. I promptly ended my interest in him. I reconciled myself to not dating and keeping books and my frequent trips to NYC as my priority. Some time later, a young lady expressed an interest in said baller and asked if I was still seeing him. I told her no and she asked why. I cited that we were incompatible and left it at that. She pressed for details, inquiring if he was a jerk, insensitive, etc. Wanting to spare sullying his name, I tried to maintain a generic reason, but she again pressed, so I told her he couldn't kiss. She seemed stunned that that would be a reason and I told her my philosophy and one that has been confirmed by myself and others to be true. I told her she was willing to do whatever she wanted with my information; save for telling him my actual reason (which he never knew).
She began dating him and that ended maybe a couple of months after we'd spoken. I wasn't aware it was over when I inquired and she immediately told me that I was right. Duh? Really? Of course I didn't say that to her, but you know I thought it. She said, his kisses were wet and sloppy and his sex was equally awkward and messy. She'd gone as far as to inquire (casually) about his skills with a couple of other girls (he was an upperclassman) and they likewise said he wasn't "all that" or a "disappointment". She told me that she now wishes she'd listened to me and would add my philosophy to her repetoire of deal breakers when seeking a relationship.
Okay, story told for history. Now to my point...
It really is in how a man kisses that you know whether or not you want to go any futher. His kiss will tell you many things and if you can see past worrying about his hurt feelings for you prematurely ending your interest in him, you'll agree that he probably would have been lousy in bed. I've shared my view with my boys and other males that I know and they, too are in compliance. Kissing is the gateway to sex and intimacy. In fact, kissing is the greatest form of intimacy; hence, why prostitutes do not kiss on the mouth. Did you think they didn't do it for no reason?
Now, think back to some bad kisses in your day and you'd slept with any of them, was the sex bad? You don't need to name names; we respect the privacy of others and will protect the orally challenged. *lol*
All jokes aside though, if my 17 y/o who's kissed two boys in her entire precious life knows this, then there is something to be learned here. Please don't think you can 'train' someone how to kiss as you're only going to get frustrated and ultimately lead them to thinking they're actually able to be a match for you. Remember two good people aren't always good together. Chemistry is a powerful tool and something that can not be manufactured. Imagine being in the height of sexual emotion and arousal and whom you're with kisses you and it's all sloppy and ish and it skunks your entire groove? That would be like someone bumping the turntable and the vinyl skipping. That's a bad look as the whole party is now shut down.
I've been fortunate to respond quickly and efficiently to ending kisses that aren't favorable and as previously stated, found a way to end the progression of the relationship before I had the misfortune of having my sexual experience turn into a disaster. I think of one person in particular who's got kissing on lock and damn if he didn't ever prove his worth in that kiss. I promptly and well-deservingly assigned 'Kiss of Life' as his theme song because that kiss was truly like my kiss of life. To date he's managed to maintain his Hall of Fame status and that's one hell of an achievement on his part.
So, my PSA and lesson learned for the day is...Kiss and tell...tell him/her that there are incompatibilties that will not aspire to a good progression of the relationship if that's the direction you're heading in. It's better to be honest and roll out than to stick it out and settle for less than stellar intimacy; that's just not a good thing. However, if kissing ain't your thing, then you go ahead and do you in however you see fit; cause I'm not one to knock what is acceptable to another. Just don't bring that sloppy ish my way!!!!
Love to live; live to love!
02 April 2009
wonderlust
Steve's on a rampage and if he's not satiated soon, he's gonna have me in a world of hurt. Who's Steve? As I've said before, Steve is the name of my libido. Why? Because my libido is like that of an 18 y/o boy, so it needed a name; and so Steve was born.
Dreadz is back in Jamaica and while I miss him much and like him in equal capacity to my missing him, I'm still not sure what long term potential we have; thus leaving me in one hell of a dilema. Legal is my old college friend whom I've had drinks with and hang out with from time to time. He's a good, likeable, and decent guy who could make a good boyfriend, but with his work schedule and my not being sure of my true status with Dreadz, I'm just enjoying his company for now. Toolbelt is trying to get back in, but he's still in time out, so while he's definitely a Triple Threat (deep, dark, and delicious) he's not even worth slutting out. His drama keeps me very cautious. Then there's Achilies Heel. OMG! *swoon* We'd had a major falling out and then managed to work through it and become friends again. A few weeks ago he called and we had a surpisingly long and good conversation. Yesterday, we had an all day txt conversation and the conversation started one way and ended up taking a left turn in Albuquerque with loaded guns at the firing range. Boy, was that ever one heck of a conversation; leaving Steve ready to defy anything I might say and do his own thing.
Now, I didn't bring y'all here to divulge the TMI of my personal life, I'm simply venting as a means to calm Steve down and keep his desires at bay. You see, what's also pissing Steve of is that I gave up self-gratification for Lent seeing as I really don't have any vices to speak of. I don't really drink. I don't smoke or eat really bad foods, so I figured self-gratification was something that I'd miss. Oh, and boy, do I ever miss it. Between my current dry spell since Dreadz absense and my not self-fulfilling, Steve has been wreaking havoc on my innards. He's running around inside me like a richotcheting bullet. I'm trying to be a good girl; I really am, but I really don't know how much longer I can go on.
The irony of it all is that I was celibate for over two years and pretty much didn't give it a second thought, but now I feel like a damn fiend. I guess once you let the cat out the bag (no pun intended), it's pretty hard to put it back in. *Slish, I know you're having a field day with this*. LMAO!
I'm a woman with options and will have to decide which box off the multiple choice list I'll check off. Whatever or whomever I choose, it will be exacted of clear conscious and sound mind; or what's left of it. *giggle*
Have a great weekend chillens!
Love to live; live to love!
Dreadz is back in Jamaica and while I miss him much and like him in equal capacity to my missing him, I'm still not sure what long term potential we have; thus leaving me in one hell of a dilema. Legal is my old college friend whom I've had drinks with and hang out with from time to time. He's a good, likeable, and decent guy who could make a good boyfriend, but with his work schedule and my not being sure of my true status with Dreadz, I'm just enjoying his company for now. Toolbelt is trying to get back in, but he's still in time out, so while he's definitely a Triple Threat (deep, dark, and delicious) he's not even worth slutting out. His drama keeps me very cautious. Then there's Achilies Heel. OMG! *swoon* We'd had a major falling out and then managed to work through it and become friends again. A few weeks ago he called and we had a surpisingly long and good conversation. Yesterday, we had an all day txt conversation and the conversation started one way and ended up taking a left turn in Albuquerque with loaded guns at the firing range. Boy, was that ever one heck of a conversation; leaving Steve ready to defy anything I might say and do his own thing.
Now, I didn't bring y'all here to divulge the TMI of my personal life, I'm simply venting as a means to calm Steve down and keep his desires at bay. You see, what's also pissing Steve of is that I gave up self-gratification for Lent seeing as I really don't have any vices to speak of. I don't really drink. I don't smoke or eat really bad foods, so I figured self-gratification was something that I'd miss. Oh, and boy, do I ever miss it. Between my current dry spell since Dreadz absense and my not self-fulfilling, Steve has been wreaking havoc on my innards. He's running around inside me like a richotcheting bullet. I'm trying to be a good girl; I really am, but I really don't know how much longer I can go on.
The irony of it all is that I was celibate for over two years and pretty much didn't give it a second thought, but now I feel like a damn fiend. I guess once you let the cat out the bag (no pun intended), it's pretty hard to put it back in. *Slish, I know you're having a field day with this*. LMAO!
I'm a woman with options and will have to decide which box off the multiple choice list I'll check off. Whatever or whomever I choose, it will be exacted of clear conscious and sound mind; or what's left of it. *giggle*
Have a great weekend chillens!
Love to live; live to love!
30 March 2009
PSA - Stop playing yourself!
So, I'm in a convo with one of my boys and he tells me about an incident with a chic and now she's acting all d*ck sprung. First, let me say, my boy's actions are not and were not condoned by me as I'm not one to promote cheating, but it was a one time affair and after cussing him out and punching him a time or two (wanted to Chris.Brown him), but I forgave him.
Story #1...Chic tells my boy that she wants to be with him. Not just in the bed, but in general. She cited that he was good and they did things that her Boyfriend hasn't done, and now she's got the desire to want to be with him. I go into immediate ballistic mode and am all kinds of ticked off. It's bad enough they both cheated on their S.Os, but chic has the presense of mind to think that justifies them both leaving their S.Os to take up with each other. HUH? Really? Chic knows little about my boys personality, habits, pros/cons, but she's wants to be with him. My anger increases.
We continue to talk and I tell him my slew of reasons why this scenerio is so wrong.
1) Given that their interaction was nothing more than a jump off, how is that breeding grounds for a permanent or stable relationsip?
2) If her dude isn't breaking her off right, then she needs to talk to him about it and find ways to improve their sex life and not run out there to get it from someone else
3) What makes her think she's got something or is doing something his girl isn't or hasn't?
4) She needs to exact a little self-respect and not think that she's all that because they had good sex. Good sex doesn't make anyone a good partner in other areas.
5) How would she feel if her dude did what she did and is throwing himself at some other chic?
6) How can she think that he'd have any grounds to trust her or properly respect her if she slept with him while she has a man and is now basically begging for the d*ck?
7) Does she think this is proper etiquette for a women nearing 30 to have?
Now, keep in mind that I'm not siding with my boy as he's doing his damndest to keep chic at bay, and was dead wrong for what he did; but he's not going to leave his girl for the jump off and knows she's not what he's looking for in a girlfriend anyway.
This is the kind of behavior that screams desperation, insecurity, immaturity, and stupidty. What woman in her right mind conducts herself like this and thinks that a man is going to find that attractive? I'm sure there are actually plenty, but speaking for my secure and mature sisters, we ain't getting down like that. This girl is setting herself up to get laid and played and nothing more if this was how my boy wanted to do her; or any other man for that matter. Fortunately, he's not inclined to treat women like that and is trying to distance himself from chic, but she sure isn't making it easy.
Story #2
This girl is also d*ck sprung and while she's been told on numerous occasions that what they had is over, she's still trying to find ways to get back in. Homegirl found a way to initiate conversation with my boy and as I forewarned him she would, is now trying to get him in bed. Fortunately, they don't reside in the same state, but she's the kind that would travel for the d*ck. Now, I'm not knocking a sister from seeking out what's good, but he's NOT hers; he's NOT single, and he DOESN'T want her, so why can't she get this through her head? I've had some good d*ck in my day that had me crossing state lines at a moments notice, but I sure as hell didn't beg or play myself for it. I've had low self-esteem, but never no/low self-respect.
Homegirl tried to flip the situation and make it seem like he was a punk or whatever for not responding the way she'd hoped he would, but that's her dumb ass fault for playing herself. She knows he has a girl and doesn't plan on leaving her.
Women, I've got to say this...PLEASE STOP PLAYING YOURSELVES!!!! You know who you are, you know you're doing it, and you need to stop. Find your self-esteem, self-respect, and stop reducing yourselves to the sum of your parts. No, there's nothing wrong with wanting to get yours and hell, I'm all for a woman exercising her right to be sexually fulfilled, but stop doing it with someone else's man. Stop begging for the d*ck or playing yourself out for it as you'll be the same women who'll send out inivitation to your Male Bashing Party and wait for other women like you to R.S.V.P so you can cry the blues and get drunk off your Haterade.
Contrary to what you might have heard, men don't really find this practice attractive or favorable. You are seen for and treated as the desperate women that you are. Granted, he might treat you well for the moment or whatever he does, but trust me; cause my boys done told me, that they really aren't into you like that. They're men and for the most part won't turn down some p*ssy. They're gonna beat it up, freak you out, and do whatever tricks you allow them to do (their words; not mine) because you let them and they're not leaving their girls for you. You'll become the subject of conversation where you're talked about with such distain that you'd hide yourself in a closet for days after hearing; just like my boy and I did.
Now, I'm not sitting on a morality pedastal and thinking I'm holier than thou because that's certainly not the case. I'm speaking on a situation that needs to be spoken about. I'm exercising the voice that some women need to hear. I think it's important for us as women to recognize and value our worth. Men will treat you the way you allow them to. I repeat, MEN WILL TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU ALLOW THEM TO. If you set the precedence of f*cking a men without really knowing anything about him, then you've set the stage for how you'll be treated. Here and there, there are exceptions to the rule; however, those are some rare occassions.
Men, I know you're gonna rarely turn down the opportunity for a quick roll, but think about the after effects of what you're doing. Consider that chic might go loco on you, key your car, call your crib or even show up to do damage to your relationship. She could do any number of crazy things because she's now a woman scorned, hurt, and rejected. Trust me, I know you know it's not worth it, so man up and do the hard thing; which more often than not is actually the right thing; and turn her down. Don't allow yourself to become the sum of your parts. There's no sex worth that much drama over.
Women, as I said before, please stop treating yourself with little or no respect and expect to get respect/ed. Yes, by all means get your sex on, but don't play yourself for it. Stop sleeping with someone else's man. Value yourself enough to be more than a hit and run.
PSA over...
love to live; live to love!
Story #1...Chic tells my boy that she wants to be with him. Not just in the bed, but in general. She cited that he was good and they did things that her Boyfriend hasn't done, and now she's got the desire to want to be with him. I go into immediate ballistic mode and am all kinds of ticked off. It's bad enough they both cheated on their S.Os, but chic has the presense of mind to think that justifies them both leaving their S.Os to take up with each other. HUH? Really? Chic knows little about my boys personality, habits, pros/cons, but she's wants to be with him. My anger increases.
We continue to talk and I tell him my slew of reasons why this scenerio is so wrong.
1) Given that their interaction was nothing more than a jump off, how is that breeding grounds for a permanent or stable relationsip?
2) If her dude isn't breaking her off right, then she needs to talk to him about it and find ways to improve their sex life and not run out there to get it from someone else
3) What makes her think she's got something or is doing something his girl isn't or hasn't?
4) She needs to exact a little self-respect and not think that she's all that because they had good sex. Good sex doesn't make anyone a good partner in other areas.
5) How would she feel if her dude did what she did and is throwing himself at some other chic?
6) How can she think that he'd have any grounds to trust her or properly respect her if she slept with him while she has a man and is now basically begging for the d*ck?
7) Does she think this is proper etiquette for a women nearing 30 to have?
Now, keep in mind that I'm not siding with my boy as he's doing his damndest to keep chic at bay, and was dead wrong for what he did; but he's not going to leave his girl for the jump off and knows she's not what he's looking for in a girlfriend anyway.
This is the kind of behavior that screams desperation, insecurity, immaturity, and stupidty. What woman in her right mind conducts herself like this and thinks that a man is going to find that attractive? I'm sure there are actually plenty, but speaking for my secure and mature sisters, we ain't getting down like that. This girl is setting herself up to get laid and played and nothing more if this was how my boy wanted to do her; or any other man for that matter. Fortunately, he's not inclined to treat women like that and is trying to distance himself from chic, but she sure isn't making it easy.
Story #2
This girl is also d*ck sprung and while she's been told on numerous occasions that what they had is over, she's still trying to find ways to get back in. Homegirl found a way to initiate conversation with my boy and as I forewarned him she would, is now trying to get him in bed. Fortunately, they don't reside in the same state, but she's the kind that would travel for the d*ck. Now, I'm not knocking a sister from seeking out what's good, but he's NOT hers; he's NOT single, and he DOESN'T want her, so why can't she get this through her head? I've had some good d*ck in my day that had me crossing state lines at a moments notice, but I sure as hell didn't beg or play myself for it. I've had low self-esteem, but never no/low self-respect.
Homegirl tried to flip the situation and make it seem like he was a punk or whatever for not responding the way she'd hoped he would, but that's her dumb ass fault for playing herself. She knows he has a girl and doesn't plan on leaving her.
Women, I've got to say this...PLEASE STOP PLAYING YOURSELVES!!!! You know who you are, you know you're doing it, and you need to stop. Find your self-esteem, self-respect, and stop reducing yourselves to the sum of your parts. No, there's nothing wrong with wanting to get yours and hell, I'm all for a woman exercising her right to be sexually fulfilled, but stop doing it with someone else's man. Stop begging for the d*ck or playing yourself out for it as you'll be the same women who'll send out inivitation to your Male Bashing Party and wait for other women like you to R.S.V.P so you can cry the blues and get drunk off your Haterade.
Contrary to what you might have heard, men don't really find this practice attractive or favorable. You are seen for and treated as the desperate women that you are. Granted, he might treat you well for the moment or whatever he does, but trust me; cause my boys done told me, that they really aren't into you like that. They're men and for the most part won't turn down some p*ssy. They're gonna beat it up, freak you out, and do whatever tricks you allow them to do (their words; not mine) because you let them and they're not leaving their girls for you. You'll become the subject of conversation where you're talked about with such distain that you'd hide yourself in a closet for days after hearing; just like my boy and I did.
Now, I'm not sitting on a morality pedastal and thinking I'm holier than thou because that's certainly not the case. I'm speaking on a situation that needs to be spoken about. I'm exercising the voice that some women need to hear. I think it's important for us as women to recognize and value our worth. Men will treat you the way you allow them to. I repeat, MEN WILL TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU ALLOW THEM TO. If you set the precedence of f*cking a men without really knowing anything about him, then you've set the stage for how you'll be treated. Here and there, there are exceptions to the rule; however, those are some rare occassions.
Men, I know you're gonna rarely turn down the opportunity for a quick roll, but think about the after effects of what you're doing. Consider that chic might go loco on you, key your car, call your crib or even show up to do damage to your relationship. She could do any number of crazy things because she's now a woman scorned, hurt, and rejected. Trust me, I know you know it's not worth it, so man up and do the hard thing; which more often than not is actually the right thing; and turn her down. Don't allow yourself to become the sum of your parts. There's no sex worth that much drama over.
Women, as I said before, please stop treating yourself with little or no respect and expect to get respect/ed. Yes, by all means get your sex on, but don't play yourself for it. Stop sleeping with someone else's man. Value yourself enough to be more than a hit and run.
PSA over...
love to live; live to love!
05 February 2009
on handling "Steve"...or not!
For those who haven't read Tuesday's post, I suggest you do so you can get acquainted with "Steve".
Well, this lil freaker almost got me in a world of crap with lil lady yesterday who wanted to have our t.v date while he wanted something else. What should have been an easy choice; watch t.v with lil lady turned into a battle of let's see how fast we can get one in. So, here I am in my room wearing nothing but a robe and panties battling with Steve.
Steve: C'mon Blu, you know how we do. We can get one in real quick.
Blu: But lil lady's downstairs and wants to watch t.v and it's her first night back home.
Steve: Yea, I know, but shit... I'm horny and we can have a quickie
Blu: Damn you! We can wait an hour or so right? You know she wants some quality time with me.
Steve: All this time you're wasting arguing, we coulda done this already.
Blu: Ugh! You're a fuggin mess and...oooh! Mmmm....*deep breathing*...
Steve: See, there you go...Come on dirty girl, you can do it...
Blu: ********!!!!!!********!!!!!!
Steve: Yea! See, there you go! Now that didn't take long did it?
Blu: *Deep breathe* Nah, but you ain't right for that shit.
Steve departs allowing Blu to clean up and go downstairst to watch t.v with the unsuspecting lil lady.
Readers...I' got problems for real!
Love to live; live to love!
Well, this lil freaker almost got me in a world of crap with lil lady yesterday who wanted to have our t.v date while he wanted something else. What should have been an easy choice; watch t.v with lil lady turned into a battle of let's see how fast we can get one in. So, here I am in my room wearing nothing but a robe and panties battling with Steve.
Steve: C'mon Blu, you know how we do. We can get one in real quick.
Blu: But lil lady's downstairs and wants to watch t.v and it's her first night back home.
Steve: Yea, I know, but shit... I'm horny and we can have a quickie
Blu: Damn you! We can wait an hour or so right? You know she wants some quality time with me.
Steve: All this time you're wasting arguing, we coulda done this already.
Blu: Ugh! You're a fuggin mess and...oooh! Mmmm....*deep breathing*...
Steve: See, there you go...Come on dirty girl, you can do it...
Blu: ********!!!!!!********!!!!!!
Steve: Yea! See, there you go! Now that didn't take long did it?
Blu: *Deep breathe* Nah, but you ain't right for that shit.
Steve departs allowing Blu to clean up and go downstairst to watch t.v with the unsuspecting lil lady.
Readers...I' got problems for real!
Love to live; live to love!
04 December 2008
i hear dumb people
I was in Tuby Ruesday (as it became affectionately called after a few too many drinks) and I overheard a few guys talking about hooking up and things they consider deal breakers. The convo went something like this. All names created for ease of discussion.Tom: When I'm hooking up, I want the girl with the cute friends and try to make it a group activitiy.
John: I want a girl who's gonna let the alcohol rule.
Mike: Yea, that's great, but who wants a girl with her own condom stash?
::enter crickets::
John: Whatcha saying dude?
Tom: A girl with her own condoms is cool. That means you've got more to party with.
Mike: Nah dude. If she's got her own stash that means she probably sleeps around.
::enter crickets again. a few stifled laughs and me with a WTF? expression::
John: Dude, you're an ass. Whadya mean she probably sleeps around? Safe sex is good. Safe and easy sex is even better.
Tom: Yea, if ya hooking up, you want it to be stress free and who wants to be all hot and bothered and then worry about condoms.
Mike: But that's not cool dude.
Okay, so by now my mind is going a mile a minute and I'm like, how dumb is Mike really? Being completely gobsmacked by the nonsense coming out of Mike's mouth that I continue to listen adn he tries to prove his point.
Mike: I mean if I'm hooking up and I'm at her place, I don't want her reaching into the drawer and going through an assortment of condoms. That makes her look easy and cheap.
John: Man, are you hearing yourself? You're a f*cking moron. If you're hooking up, the girl is probably easy in the first place dude, so you better be happy that she's got her own stash or you could get more than an easy lay.
::Tom and John high five. Mike ponders::
Mike: Yeah, but girls aren't supposed to be ready to hook up. We're men and we're sposed to be in charge and ready for the show.
I've now had my second beer and I'm trying to convince myself that the beer is taking control of my mental accuities and I"m really not hearing the crap Mike's spewing.
Tom: Dude with that attitude you shouldn't even be hooking up. You're too stupid to see and opportunity and take it.
John: Yea, and this way you get to either use more; if you can stay hard that long ::huge laughter:: or you'll have more of your own left for another time.
Mike: F*ck you! I don't care what you say. I don't want no girl who's got her own condom stash.
Fortunately, my friends joined showed up and saved me from anymore of the boylsheet that was coming from Mike. I couldn't believe he was that equally dumb and naive to think that the girls he was hooking up with werent easy and weren't smart enough to be responsible about their looseness. I replayed the conversation for my friends who shared in the concensus that Mike would be most likely to either get an STD or someone pregnant from a hook up.
It's sad that there are people who really think that women shouldn't have their own condom supply or might be offended by it. In this day and age, you can't be too careful with the person you're already in a relationship with let alone someone you're just hooking up with.
I'd rather see dead people than hear dumb ones.
Love!
02 December 2008
song i'm feeling...bad!
since entering my 40's i realize that my sexual appetite had become quite voracious. While I'm not nearly as active as I'd like to be; sex is still something that i find wanting to engage in with some frequency.
I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics of The Hunger - Eric Benet until this morning and the lyrics sounded so much like how I'd be with that special someone. Tell me what you think of them.
Still wanting me... still hungry
Now the first kiss was the one
that left me seeing just how deep your into me.
Surprised by your intensity, I couldn't believe.
Now the next kiss happened 7 days ago
that's when I started letting go
dropped my guard and let you know
i was ready for more.
Oh, thats when I took you home
and i wasn't quite ready for how you came
words can't explain
the pleasures we've explored.
oh, we've been making love 6 nights strong
and i can't believe just how long you can go
i'm ready for more of the hunger in your soul
{Chorus} Girl you're blazing like you never get enough of me
its amazing and i'm loving that you're
still wanting me... you're still hungry
You keep rising like you're never gonna reach the top
I'm not trynna make you stop because you're
still wanting me... still hungry
Now the first time was amazing like I said.
Like nothing I've seen, done or read Colors
and music played in my head I wasn't prepared
Now the next time happen when i finally caught my breath
I saw the sweat drip off your chest.
Girl you inspire my very best
and I gave nothing less
and it seems
with every conversation in between
i get a little more attracted
when you open up your mind girl I find your
perception of the world coincides with mine.
and I tried to let the fever in me subside
but every time i see that little look in your eye
i come back to life
and I rise, I rise, I rise, ohhhh
From the bedroom to the kitchen,
up against the wall Still I hear your body call because y
ou're still wanting me, and you're still hungry
From 100 miles an hour back to slow motion
I'm the waves up on your ocean
cause your still wanting me, and you're still hungry
{bridge} Did you know that you smile when you're asleep?
is it there all the time...
or only when you're with me?
When the morning sun shines on your face
Let me be the first breath you take.
{repeat chorus til end} Girl you're blazing
like you never get enough of me its amazing
and i'm loving that
you're still wanting me... you're still hungry
You keep rising like you're never gonna reach the top
I'm not trynna make you stop because
you're still wanting me... still hungry
Love!
I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics of The Hunger - Eric Benet until this morning and the lyrics sounded so much like how I'd be with that special someone. Tell me what you think of them.
Still wanting me... still hungry
Now the first kiss was the one
that left me seeing just how deep your into me.
Surprised by your intensity, I couldn't believe.
Now the next kiss happened 7 days ago
that's when I started letting go
dropped my guard and let you know
i was ready for more.
Oh, thats when I took you home
and i wasn't quite ready for how you came
words can't explain
the pleasures we've explored.
oh, we've been making love 6 nights strong
and i can't believe just how long you can go
i'm ready for more of the hunger in your soul
{Chorus} Girl you're blazing like you never get enough of me
its amazing and i'm loving that you're
still wanting me... you're still hungry
You keep rising like you're never gonna reach the top
I'm not trynna make you stop because you're
still wanting me... still hungry
Now the first time was amazing like I said.
Like nothing I've seen, done or read Colors
and music played in my head I wasn't prepared
Now the next time happen when i finally caught my breath
I saw the sweat drip off your chest.
Girl you inspire my very best
and I gave nothing less
and it seems
with every conversation in between
i get a little more attracted
when you open up your mind girl I find your
perception of the world coincides with mine.
and I tried to let the fever in me subside
but every time i see that little look in your eye
i come back to life
and I rise, I rise, I rise, ohhhh
From the bedroom to the kitchen,
up against the wall Still I hear your body call because y
ou're still wanting me, and you're still hungry
From 100 miles an hour back to slow motion
I'm the waves up on your ocean
cause your still wanting me, and you're still hungry
{bridge} Did you know that you smile when you're asleep?
is it there all the time...
or only when you're with me?
When the morning sun shines on your face
Let me be the first breath you take.
{repeat chorus til end} Girl you're blazing
like you never get enough of me its amazing
and i'm loving that
you're still wanting me... you're still hungry
You keep rising like you're never gonna reach the top
I'm not trynna make you stop because
you're still wanting me... still hungry
Love!
03 September 2008
all the hoopla!
Okay, so I'm sure many of you have heard about the transexual who's competing on America's Next Top Model. If you haven't, check out the story Top Model Twist.
So, let me just come out and ask the question, do you have a problem with people who aren't of the same sexual orientation or gender identity as you? Please think before answering and most importantly be honest. That being said, let me continue...
I have never had an issue with people of other races, genders, sexual orientation/preference/or identity. Why? Because I never had a reason to. As far as I'm concerned, we're all our respective people; good and bad, so we must live and let live. My liberal viewpoint stems from where and how I was raised and it has been with me ever since.
Growing up in London, I truly felt like I was in a melting pot. I had friends of all races and we shared our cultures with each other. I knew of gays/lesbians and while I didn't understand the true dynamic of it, I wasn't offended by them. I did know a drag queen by way of a friend and I was rather fascinated by how well he looked as a woman. It wasn't until I moved to the U.S that I started to see and understand the full spectrum of sexual orientation in its many forms.
I became aware of how people were negatively treated and affected by their sexuality and made to feel ashamed of who they were. While there are those who I feel have 'chosen' to be gay (male or female), I truly believe that most gays were born that way. I doubt highly they woke up one morning and said, "chile, i think imma start sexin men cause it's good look". Face it, it's like a white person waking up and deciding to be black. Why would they put themselves through that level of persecution and torment? They wouldn't.
Anyhoo, I digress...I happen to have an extremely close and dear friend who is a male-to-female transsexual. She's one of the most admirable people I know because she chose to be true to herself and be the person she always felt she was. Ironically, my friend was once married; in the military (a pilot to boot); and has a child, but still always knew that something wasn't right within herself. Naturally, we had a lengthy discussion about hiding her true sexual feelings and identity and she told me that society refuses to accept that there are deviations in ones DNA or predispostion to all things sexual. She grew up in the mid 30's so coming out was very difficult much less telling your family that you'd rather be the opposing gender. Fortunately, my friend had a supportive wife while he was married who afforded a divorce and allowed my friend to pursue her life as a woman; they remain very good friends to this day and their daughter is well adjusted, very smart, and currently pursuing her Ph.D.
I've said all this to say, that yes, for the most part we all digress to The Bible for guidance and in many ways to demean and offend those who don't quite fit in to mainstream society. I think we should in many ways leave religion and/or religious doctrines out of this discussion. I truly do think that sexual orientation/identity is something that we're born with and for many it's something that is not like the majority. I know I'm going to probably raise all kind of moral backlash for my thoughts, but ask me if I care; this is MY house and I can say what I want and think.
Again, I digress...I have friends of all races, religions, and sexual preference and I accept them for whom they are. I do not think disallowing a transsexual or transgendered person to participate in a contest is fair. We need to see beyond what's considered socially acceptable and simply learn tolerance. No, you don't have to like it, but you should at least accept and respect the person. Ms. James who sits two offices from yours could be a call girl by night even though she rocks her Jones New York to the office by day. Mr. Smith could be wearing women's underwear to work under his Brooks Brother's suit. My point is that we don't know what the inner workings of anyone's psyche is and we can't jump on our moral pedastals because someone doesn't prescribe to the same makeup as us.
Not one of us is perfect or exempt from saying anything, doing anything, or dressing in a way that deviates from what's considered acceptable. We've got men screwing men on the down low, priests molesting little boys, pedophiles in the neighborhood and we're worring about a transsexual; gimme a gotdamn break. I've got tattooes, had a child out of wedlock, am black, have dated out of my race, yada, yada; so does that make me disposable because I've allegedly violated some societal rule? I think not, so I think it's enough with the trash talk over a transsexual potential model. There was an openly lesbian model competing some time ago and I don't think it raised too much hoopla, so neither should this. Personally, I think the haters are just mad cause she actually is rather attractive. I also think the men are mad cause they might find themselves caught out there is they ran up on her.
Okay, I'm done people!
Love!
21 February 2008
Is that right?
Okay, so as you can tell sex has been the topic of conversation for my past couple posts and today's will be no exception.
I overheard a couple young guys talking and one said to the other, "she looks like she could fuck!" I was like WTF? How does one "look like they could fuck?" In all of my years of being sexually active, I wasn't aware that there was a 'look' that came with it. I pondered this for my drive home from work and I still haven't come up with an answer.
So, my dear readers, I need your help with this one. Is there really a 'look'? I know I've checked guys out and been like "I wonder if he can fuck?" But never; not once have I ever concluded that he "looked like he could fuck". I know people look at how someone dances and concludes that that person would probably be good in bed, but even that isn't always indicative. Or is it?
What visual thing gives someone the impression of "fuckability"? Is it their walk; their attributes; their confidence? I'm SOS (stuck on stupid) with this one, so I need your help. Don, I know you've got something to say on this, so please don't let me down; I'm counting on you.
Love!
I overheard a couple young guys talking and one said to the other, "she looks like she could fuck!" I was like WTF? How does one "look like they could fuck?" In all of my years of being sexually active, I wasn't aware that there was a 'look' that came with it. I pondered this for my drive home from work and I still haven't come up with an answer.
So, my dear readers, I need your help with this one. Is there really a 'look'? I know I've checked guys out and been like "I wonder if he can fuck?" But never; not once have I ever concluded that he "looked like he could fuck". I know people look at how someone dances and concludes that that person would probably be good in bed, but even that isn't always indicative. Or is it?
What visual thing gives someone the impression of "fuckability"? Is it their walk; their attributes; their confidence? I'm SOS (stuck on stupid) with this one, so I need your help. Don, I know you've got something to say on this, so please don't let me down; I'm counting on you.
Love!
20 February 2008
Sex likes/dislikes list
Likes...
Fidelity
The unified bond of two people
The intense feelings that emanate
Orgasms
The yearning
Multiple positions
The willingness to let go
Being pleasured beyond one’s belief
Hearing your name called during the act
Size
Dislikes…
Infidelity
Being used
It not being good as it was made out to be
STDs
Wanting to, but waiting
When self-indulgence doesn’t cut it
Sex being used as a means to get bills paid
Men who THINK their dicks are bigger than they really are
Minute men
When it’s bad and being asked how it was
19 February 2008
Celibacy Blu's
Cue in Jill Scott's "Celibacy Blues"...
Lyrics
So, without going into the specifics (time, date, months, etc) I'm currently celibate. It was a choice I made after the end of my last relationship where I felt I owed it to myself to be by myself and grow. It's been a wonderful opportunity to purge the old and negative habits I'd grown accumstomed to and it allowed me to truly learn to love myself more than just saying I did. I closed doors on people and things that were of no benefit to my life; I dug deeper into my spiritual knowledge; and stayed on the path that would yeild favorable results. It was important for me to not allow myself to be distracted by temporary gratification or the instant fulfilment of Mr. Right Now and simply wait and allow God to send me the "he" that was worthy of me.
The journey has been great and I've prided myself on maintaining my strength and committment to myself. Trust and believe it's not an easy feat when we live in a world where instant fulfilment is the norm; or where women sell themselves out for their next electric bill payment; or where the sancitity of fidelity has become almost passe. With my history (story for another day), it's for the most part pretty easy to not settle for a quick roll in the sack, but I will admit there have been times where I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it. It was on those times I had to pray a little harder, think a little deeper, and continue to tell myself that I'm a woman worthy to hold myself in high regard no matter what. It's not easy refraining when you already know how good the act can be, but there is so much more I want than just the act. I want the intimacy and closeness that precedes and intercedes the act. Those are the things that can and will sustain a relationship when sex doesn't. Poll many couples married for many years and they'll tell you that being able to feel close to their partner, be held, kissed or caressed is extremely important. Anyone can have sex, but everyone can't or doesn't know how to be intimate.
Over the past months, my sex drive has been hitting some all time highs and I feel like I'm on Kinga Ka at Six Flags *lol*, but still I refrain. I can not and will not allow myself to compromise or be compromised; I'm just to damn valuable for that. Being celibate is my choice; however, it's not without the blues when you see couples together, or hear that song that does something to you, or you're just friggin horny. But I must continue on. When the person and time is right, I'll reunite with the pleasures of the flesh, but in the mean time and in between times, I'll continue on knowing that it's not the journey, but the destination.
Love!
Lyrics
So, without going into the specifics (time, date, months, etc) I'm currently celibate. It was a choice I made after the end of my last relationship where I felt I owed it to myself to be by myself and grow. It's been a wonderful opportunity to purge the old and negative habits I'd grown accumstomed to and it allowed me to truly learn to love myself more than just saying I did. I closed doors on people and things that were of no benefit to my life; I dug deeper into my spiritual knowledge; and stayed on the path that would yeild favorable results. It was important for me to not allow myself to be distracted by temporary gratification or the instant fulfilment of Mr. Right Now and simply wait and allow God to send me the "he" that was worthy of me.
The journey has been great and I've prided myself on maintaining my strength and committment to myself. Trust and believe it's not an easy feat when we live in a world where instant fulfilment is the norm; or where women sell themselves out for their next electric bill payment; or where the sancitity of fidelity has become almost passe. With my history (story for another day), it's for the most part pretty easy to not settle for a quick roll in the sack, but I will admit there have been times where I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it. It was on those times I had to pray a little harder, think a little deeper, and continue to tell myself that I'm a woman worthy to hold myself in high regard no matter what. It's not easy refraining when you already know how good the act can be, but there is so much more I want than just the act. I want the intimacy and closeness that precedes and intercedes the act. Those are the things that can and will sustain a relationship when sex doesn't. Poll many couples married for many years and they'll tell you that being able to feel close to their partner, be held, kissed or caressed is extremely important. Anyone can have sex, but everyone can't or doesn't know how to be intimate.
Over the past months, my sex drive has been hitting some all time highs and I feel like I'm on Kinga Ka at Six Flags *lol*, but still I refrain. I can not and will not allow myself to compromise or be compromised; I'm just to damn valuable for that. Being celibate is my choice; however, it's not without the blues when you see couples together, or hear that song that does something to you, or you're just friggin horny. But I must continue on. When the person and time is right, I'll reunite with the pleasures of the flesh, but in the mean time and in between times, I'll continue on knowing that it's not the journey, but the destination.
Love!
11 January 2007
Turned out!!
I was listening to some music and thought about songs that make you act up. There are songs that you hear and you feel like making a booty call or songs that make you angry and want to get all destructive and shit. And there are songs that just relax you. You name it, there's a song for just about any mood. Well, let me share something with you.
There's a Prince song called Tambourine from the Around The World In A Day CD and it does all kinds of crazy things to me. The song is loud, has a killer guitar rift, and lyrics that are borderline nonsensical, but hell; I like it anyway. Whenever I've listened to this song, I get this crazy image of me pole dancing or dancing in some crazy and suggestive way. Hell, the song has made me more horny than not whenever I've listened to it. The song has such a gravitational pull to me that I REFUSE to listen to it in mixed company. I even further REFUSE to listen to it with a guy; even if I'm majorly digging him. Fact is I've NEVER listened to it with a guy. Why? Because I'm not sure I'd be able to restrain myself and he might get hurt. I'm sure the kind of hurt that I'd be inflicting might be in some ways pleasurable to him, but when a song can bring that much freak potential out of you, it needs to be carefully contained or administered in doses that aren't not life threatening.
I'm sure we all have playlists that we'll have playing in order to make things sway in your favor or there might be a movie you'll play when that certain someone comes over. I call them the Drawers Grabbers *snicker* because they're used intentionally for that purpose. So, now that I've disclosed what song does me in, do tell what song or even movie you can't listen to or watch in mixed company. And what is the one song or movie that is your Drawers Grabber.
There's a Prince song called Tambourine from the Around The World In A Day CD and it does all kinds of crazy things to me. The song is loud, has a killer guitar rift, and lyrics that are borderline nonsensical, but hell; I like it anyway. Whenever I've listened to this song, I get this crazy image of me pole dancing or dancing in some crazy and suggestive way. Hell, the song has made me more horny than not whenever I've listened to it. The song has such a gravitational pull to me that I REFUSE to listen to it in mixed company. I even further REFUSE to listen to it with a guy; even if I'm majorly digging him. Fact is I've NEVER listened to it with a guy. Why? Because I'm not sure I'd be able to restrain myself and he might get hurt. I'm sure the kind of hurt that I'd be inflicting might be in some ways pleasurable to him, but when a song can bring that much freak potential out of you, it needs to be carefully contained or administered in doses that aren't not life threatening.
I'm sure we all have playlists that we'll have playing in order to make things sway in your favor or there might be a movie you'll play when that certain someone comes over. I call them the Drawers Grabbers *snicker* because they're used intentionally for that purpose. So, now that I've disclosed what song does me in, do tell what song or even movie you can't listen to or watch in mixed company. And what is the one song or movie that is your Drawers Grabber.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)