24 October 2007

the growth

My transitions (as I said yesterday) over the past few months have been many. Some have been scary; some stressful; many emotional, and finally all worthwhile. Each experience has taught me more and more about myself and about people in general.

I've found that good people do bad things intentionally and unintentionally and given the opportunity to make things right they will or will at least try to. On that same premise, I've found that even given the opportunity to make amends, they are still held in contempt. I looked at this situation deeply and explored the many reasons why this happens and found that people will forgive, but certainly not forget. Even if they say they have or will; they won't. I took it one step further and sought pastoral insight to find that those who say they forgive, only do it to make the other person feel better, while it can still be used as a weapon of emotional control . Why? Because the person isn't willing to look deep within themselves or they are dealing with their own emotional shortcomings to see themselves from another perspective. Many people uphold expectations of others because they think they're morally right or that's how they feel they would be in a given situation; the fact of the matter is that we all fall short and it's not based on magnitude; it's based on the deed period.

I've learned that strength is formed in times of weakness and when we're pushed beyond our limits. Allowing oneself moments of true humility and vulnerability are essential and the character that's built from those moments are great and magnificent. Finding ways to reduce or eliminate drama and stress are also effective tools in mental, physical, and emotional growth because we relieve ourselves of the unnecessary clutter in our lives, fill ourselves with wholesome things, and take the toxicity out of states of being. I haven't had a migraine in months, my degenerated disk has been rather tolerable, and the intermittent shoulder blade pain I would get from a car accident hasn't resurfaced. I attribute these physical successes to my mental and emotional cleansing. I now say no when I can't or don't really want to do something. I try to rest when my body says rest, and I do not allow another's issues to become a part of me. I can and will provide support to someone in need, but that's all I can do. I can not allow myself to be their sponge.

Strengthing in my faith and taking time to speak with those who know The World has also been a considerably beneficial experience. The right words at the right time is like being fed the best meal you could ever imagine. Saying, "thank you Jesus" has become rather demeaned as it's said so casually, but putting some true emphasis behind it and taking the time to reflect on what you're thanking Him for makes it really count. I'm in a great place in my life right now. I'm happy, more confident and secure in myself, I have great family and friends, and I know what my walk in life is and is about. I truly understand and utilize the Serentity Prayer as a part of daily life. There are and will be negative events and people in my life, but through it all, I still look to find something positive in it all.

Life is good and it's all love!


hawa said...

Yay! I'm the first to comment...

Remember when we were kids... we thought we'd suddenly become boring adults who had "made it?" We never stopped to consider that reaching adulthood didn't stop the growth process.

I was moved by your statement that "good people do bad things..." It's human nature to categorize a person as "bad" when they've wronged us. It takes true growth to realize the possibility that we were simply hurt by a good person who fell short and needs mercy - just like us "good" folks have needed in the past.

Thanks for sharing! I'm happy to see you blogging again. I missed my regular stops here.

Organized Noise said...

"Each experience has taught me more and more about myself and about people in general."

As long as you know that, then it was well worth it.

Lyrically speaking said...

Blu this post is fascinating, I had to read it over, digest your words completely, the part where you wrote:

"Finding ways to reduce or eliminate drama and stress are also effective tools in mental, physical, and emotional growth because we relieve ourselves of the unnecessary clutter in our lives"

Wow, must agree totally and that's what I had to do for myself...needing this cleansing and it's a wonderful feeling when you surround yourself with light versus darkness

Don said...

Great post, and every valuable point made. It's the kind of post where a person could try and follow, and in doing so, know that they will become a much better person. I agree with you where you say strength is formed in times of weakness. I wouldn't have agreed with this two years ago but after going through weakness, and looking at myself inner self then compared to now ... I know different.

I don't think people forgive either especially when they continue to dwell on it. I think forgiveness takes both time and, like you stated, a person looking deep within themselves.

Blu Jewel said...

Hawa - you must have been e-stalking me...lol. seriously though, growing up will continue for the rest of our lives. we're like trees both growing upward and outward.

org - to learn others, we must first know and learn ourselves

lyrically - always a pleasure when you stop by. clutter is what prevents our ability to move on and ahead without the weight. i'm glad this post was meaningful for you.

don - thank you for making your first trip to my spot. i'm happy to hear that you found it provocative and you were able to walk away with a lesson learned. you said you've experienced your strenght through a weakness, so i know you get this. ^5

Anonymous said...

"Strengthing in my faith and taking time to speak with those who know The World has also been a considerably beneficial experience."

....I so feel you on this one.

dc_speaks said...

the lessons learned while on "self searching" break were quite worthwhile and I'm glad that you are willing to impart wisdom from your journey into discovery.

i likes...i likes.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you! I think with every decade a new level of self awareness surfaces. Gaining spiritual insight and strengthening the bond with God helps a multitude of issues. Thanks for sharing your lessons learned, every time you tell it it strengthens some one else...like me!

Rosemarie said...

Thanks for reaching deep within to share your journey in your own voice. It’s evident that you are full, and the need to pour out is soon. Until then, we wait patiently.

Forgiveness is funny thing. I found that while I'm trying to figure things out so are they. I always hope that the parties involved can meet at an intersection on the same level down the road. If not, we should still focus on our own stuff and give the rest to God while in the process.

Blu Jewel said...

b-more - thanks for stopping by. We walk by faith and not by sight. Glad you were feeling me.

dc - hey bro, thanks for always checking in on me. you are so very right about that. if we do not reach within, there is nothing to put out.

ingrid - entering into this new decade was one of the best experiences ever. I feel blessed and highly favored.

rosemarie - when the cup runneth over, it isn't always a bad thing and in my case, it runneth over in order to share. from so little, many can be fed. forgiveness as you described it would be wonderful thing.

Anonymous said...

wow so much of what you say is true....