31 December 2007

Out with the old

Well, it's the last day of 2007 and I have to say it's been quite a year. I've had my share of good and the bad, but all in all, it's still been a good year. Here's my list of bad/good list...

Got a health scare
Said health scare brought me and mum back together

Having major surgery
Realizing how strong I truly am

Missing out on a relationship with my dad
We're no longer estranged and I have a place to stay everytime I'm in Jamaica

Being a parent of a teenage girl
Knowing that I'm doing it pretty well and we're growing together

Having friends treat you badly
Realizing it's their loss and making some really cool new ones

Feeling lost/alone
Knowing that with Christ, you're never lost or alone

Having a stepmom who's only 5 yrs older than me
She's great and it's like having another big sister instead of a mother

Not getting the pay increase I deserve
Finding out that as a disabled Vet I can get tax free money from the government

Knowing so many people suffer
Knowing I was able to give in order to relieve some of their suffering

I'm a better, stronger, and more confident woman is year than I was last year and I know I will be even better next year. Thank you all for your respective roles in my life and the contributions you've made through reading and commenting on my blog as well as by my reading yours. I wish each and everyone of you a fantastic 2008 and may we all be blessed in our rightful and respective ways.

Be safe out there and always give God the thanks and praise He so amply deserves.


26 December 2007


I didn't write this, but thought it was more than worth sharing. We're nearing the end of one year and on the verge of another and it's at this time when we start making New Year's Resolutions; looking back in order to move forward; or are simply trying to get our lives right. The following piece is something I'm sure we can all use in our lives at one point or another.
All the doubt in the world cannot stand up to one little positive action. Doubt has no power when you decide to act in spite of it, and doubt cannot stop you if you refuse its attention. It matters not who doubts you, or how much, or why. What matters is what you do. A thousand people, or a million, or a billion people, could say it cannot be done. Yet that does not in any way have to stop one person (you) from doing it.

Just because there are obstacles to overcome does not mean it cannot be done. When you focus not on the obstacles themselves, but rather on how you will get beyond them, it will be done, and you will be the one who does it.

Doubt exists entirely in the mind and when you put it out of your mind, it ceases to exist. Rather than struggling to fight doubt, or to conquer it, or to live with it, you can simply abandon it and it will evaporate into thin air.

Fill your mind with positive thoughts, fill your moments with positive, productive actions, and doubt will have no place in your life.

Stay focused, be diligent, and stay consistent.

DEFINED LIMITATION: An emotional restriction you place on your life that blocks your creativity.

3 emotional weapons used against you & limit you
1. Worry
2. Doubt
3. Uncertainty

Limitations aren't handed to you, they are self imposed:

Ø All restrictions are Self-Imposed and cause you to simply exist.

Ø Failure is not defeat. It's a test of our strength. It's an option that didn't work and can be used to strengthen you and allow you to learn a lesson. All failures are possibilities that didn't work which means there's another solution out there. Keep looking until you find it!

Ø Improving is taking a situation and finding another possibility

Everyone who enters your life is there to strengthen you or be strengthened by you (if you're prepared). If you're not prepared someone who is meant to be an asset to your life can enter or pass by and you won't even realize it because restrictions control what you see.

Where Do Limitations Come From:
1. Layers of fear
2. Internal battle that leave you confused and exhausted
3. Insecure about your talents
4. Unwillingness to face self (blaming others / making excuses)
5. Circle of similarity
7. Continue to play old tapes in your mind
8. No Game Plan
9. Self-Destructive Behaviors

The things we don't communicate create our exhaustion and confusion.
Growth is not positive if you're tired when you arrive there because you won't be able to see the lessons around you, and a lesson not learned must be repeated.

If you get knocked down when tested and you stay there, there's no confidence; but if you get up with passion, you have confidence

Most of what you have learned about you is what others have taught you to believe about you. Who wrote your script?

Without a Game Plan, you'll be confused and on the defensive. Must not just have a goal, you must have a game plan.

To Improve Your Life:
1. "Face what is"
2. Redesign what has been
3. Strengthen what makes you good. You can't see strength if you're focused on weaknesses or putting your self down.
4. Reach out to people who can make you better.
5. Keep reaching out to people who are further than you.

How to Let go of Natural Fear:

1. Stop Denying It & resisting that it exists. Admitting it takes it from the emotion to the mind.
2. Examine the Origin of the Fear (Ask self why are you afraid then address reason why you're afraid & refuse to continue giving into the fears & stay focused on positives that are happening.
3. Invest in your talents (when you don't feed your mind you feed confusion & old tapes that keep beating you down & causing sabotage. Keep personal inventory of your strengths.
4. Let go of your "can't s"

It's better to have Achievement Lists instead of To Do Lists because to do list is more about emotions and passive desires. Achieve list is about now as opposed to postponing.

You can't relive yesterday. You can revisit it and use it as a reference library in order to learn the lessons you're to learn.

It's Not Over Until You Win!

19 December 2007

as promised...

This is the link to the guest blogger post lil lady did last February. She's grown in leaps and bounds since then; some good; some not so good, but either she's never lost her sense of humor.

Check it out for a good laugh...lil lady speaks

da madnezz

So, I've got this rule that lil lady has to call me when she gets home from school so I know she's home and I can put her lil azz to work preppin dinner and shit. Today was no exception and she calls me sounding like she's been dragged from the back of a truck in Klansville. I asked, "what's wrong?" and she tells me she's tired and was sleeping on the school bus. I'm like, "okay, now whatcha gonna do?" She tells me she's hungry and needs some food. That lil heffa stays hungry with her lil azz self and eats like she's got a perpetual tapeworm. Anyhoo, she's rummaging around in fridge looking for some vittles and happens upon a couple things that'll make the hunger go away. She inquires about some rice and beans and if it's still good. I tell her to smell it and she'll know. She tells me she wouldn't know if it was bad or not so I tell her that if it smells sour don't eat it. She does the sniff check and tells me it smells like rice and beans and I hear the microwave going. Then she's got her hands on a Jamaican patty and tells me the toaster isn't working. I'm like, "how bout you plug it in!" *doh* And this is an honor roll student I'm talking about here *shm*

Okay, now she's smacking in my ear as she's getting her grub on and proceeds to tell me how she thinks the new house phones are cool and futuristic. She then goes on to tell me she has to "piss like a race horse on a Saturday night at the Kentucky Derby". At this point I almost fell out of my chair laughing and couldn't believe my child is talking to me like this. She is; and it gets better. I tell her that I think my lead has left and if he has, I'm out cause I need to make a pit stop on the way home. She tells me to check and then get back on the phone; I do and he's still here. "Dammit!" I say and she says, "well, I guess yo black azz gonna hafta stay on that plantation a lil longer den huh?" Of course, I'm now out of the chair hysterically laughing.

She comments on the Christmas decorations that went up (she'd been at the dads house) and asked if I caught the Christmas spirit. I tell her no, but I wanted to do something festive. She then tells me I had too much time on my hands. Brat! She asked if I wanted anything for Christmas and I told her no and she said good cause she didn't have any money and wasn't buying me anything. I ask her what she wants and she says just her unlimited text plan back, which I'd taken away when she got on punishment. We laugh and joke more and then she changes focus.

After having me laughing like I'm high on some real good ish, you'd think she'd stop right? Naw she keeps going. I ask her to prep some chicken legs I have in the fridge and she refuses. I tell her if she wants to live to see another day and eat, she'll do it; she complies. She now has me on speakerphone and is still singing the phone's praises. She's making the puke sound as she's stripping the skin off and complaining about what a horrible chore it is. I agree, but tell her is must be done. In between all this she's fussy and laughing and acting like the complete nut she is. I'm sitting on the other end of the phone laughing and trying not to be too loud.

The conversation continues with its animated pace until she decides she's had enough and wants off the phone. So, for all of you who read my 13 3's you'll see why I said lil lady makes me laugh; she's one crazy kid, but I love 'er!

Oh, and if you have time, you can dig through my archives and find the post she did; now that was some funny azz ish right there! If I find the link I'll save you the time and post it.


17 December 2007

Joseph for example....

As I sat in church yesterday and listened to pastor talk about Joseph, "father" of Jesus, I thought about how important a father is in the life of his child/dren and how so many men have come to take that for granted.

While Joseph is only mentioned in 16 versus of the New Testament his role was not nearly as insiginifcant as his 16 versus, in fact he was extremely important and a positive role model for all men to follow. Why? Because although Joseph didn't immediately believe that he child was legitimately his; he accepted the word of the angels and assumed the role of father. He followed the word of God and supported Mary and raised Jesus as his own son. He didn't let anything stand in his way of supporting his family and treated Jesus no differently had he been his biological father.

Now, in a day and age where many men knowing create children, they are turning their backs on them as if the children are dispensible items. Correction, the condom should have been. I'm not letting the women off the hook here either because they should be protecting themselves against pregnancy too. That aside, my point goes back to the men. Many men in today's society are/were raised by a single mother. Many of these men never knew their father's and if they did the relationship was (in some instances) are strained one. Forgive me if I sound like I'm brow beating all men; I'm not. I'm merely pointing out some facts and not attacking those who have stepped up to the plate.

I digress. If you as a man are not willing, ready, or able to play your part in the childs life, then do whatever you can to prevent that pregnancy from occuring. If you have reason to believe that ol' girl was sharing her cookies, then be willing to take a paternity test. If the child is yours, then take care of him/her and be the best parent you can be. Furthermore, if you've decided to be with a women who already has children, still be a good role model for that child. Women, stop laying down with every and any man hoping he'll be a good daddy to that child.

Our children are having a hard time making it in this society and if we keep creating them without regard for their future, what kind of future will they have? I was recently over at Electronic Village and came across this article.
America has lost generation of black boys, which describes how black men are regarded in this country and how other countries are considering adpoting some of the US's policies.

I've said all this to say, that Joseph was a fine example of how a man, husband, and father should be. He followed God, supported his wife, and took care of his son. Granted Jesus was not biologically his, but he assumed his role and did it well. Fathers, be they biological, step, adoptive, surrogate, or godfathers need to step up to the plate and do their part. They need to look at Joseph as their example and follow his lead. Men, and the women who love them, I implore you to give these children the love, care, time, and attention they deserve and require. Women do your part also. If you're fortunate to have a supportive father to your child, tell him how much you appreciate his help, role, and love. Think of Mary and how she could have been divorced, disgraced, and disowned had Joseph not listened to the angels in his dream. Women, stop putting yourself in positions where paternity has to be questioned and/or challenged. Men stop helping to create children you're unwilling or unable to raise and play an active/positive role in their lives.

Parenting is a two person activity and we must remember and practice that.

14 December 2007

13 three's of mine

Once again, I'm committing blog-theivery. I was just at Don's and he had this great list up and I liked it so much that I had to do one of my own. Here ya go...

3 things that scare me...
George Bush
Police brutality
People with nothing to lose

3 people who make me laugh...
my daughter
Charlie Murphy
Robin Harris (R.I.P)

3 things I love...
my daughter
mental orgasms

3 things I hate...
crimes against children
the current state of this country
hateful people

3 things I don't understand...
crooked law enforcement agents
george bush
white people shit

3 things on my desk...
2 desktop computers

3 things I'm doing right now...
this post
watching tv

3 things I want to do before I die...
see my writing published
see what my daughter does with her life
travel more

3 things I can do well...
make love

3 things I can't do...
speak all the languages I've studied
stay stuck on stupid
allow myself to be treated poorly

3 things I should listen to...
my gut
my heart

3 things I shouldn't listen to...
people who can't fix their own lives
bullshit in any form from anybody
george bush and his clan

3 things I watched as a kid...
The Monkeys
Dick Darstedly & Muttley
Wonder Woman

13 December 2007

The happs!

Since my last post, I’ve had a death in the family, a funeral out of the country, a christening, been sick, and working my ass off at the plantation. I think I’m finally starting to see some light at the end of the proverbial tunnel *yippee*.

Thank you all for staying tuned in my absence; trust me I’ve missed blogging and reading all of your wonderful posts. I feel like I was going through withdrawal as a result of not being able to keep up.

I’m not sure what I really want to talk about right now because I’m feeling rather random, so here’s a top ten likes/dislikes list about Christmas…

1. The way my church is decorated (makes for great Christmas pix)
2. Remembering lil lady was christened two weeks before Christmas 15 years ago (wow @ how time has flown)
3. Spending time with my peeps
4. Real family closeness
5. The threat of snow
6. Laughing at the Santa’s in the mall
7. Seeing people give to others
8. Egg nog (yes, spiked…hic!)
9. Sending Christmas cards
10. Christmas Eve service

1. Santa (what a crock)
2. The exaggeration of Christmas (forgetting the meaning)
3. Being apart from my family
4. Ridiculously decorated homes/lawns
5. Feeling obligated
6. Being asked what I want for Christmas
7. The replication of Thanksgiving for Christmas dinner
8. People wearing festive clothes
9. Seasonal depression
10. Working during Christmas week

05 December 2007

Gimme a minute

Was out of the country tending some family business, so that's why I've been incognegro for a few days. I'm back now but gotta get back on the ball with some things before I can provide you with the posts you've grown accustomed to. I'll try to catch up on your posts too. Whew! I'm gonna be one busy chick.

Hold it down til I return; won't be too long!