25 November 2008

a random sprinkling of jewel dust...

okay, so i know it's been damn near a month since i last posted something, but that doesn't mean i haven't missed you all. what it actually means is that there's been a lot going on and it's prohibited me from blogging about it; well until today.

today, i'm going to post random samplings of what i've been doing and going through...

so, my Jamaica boo and i had a huge fight, mended fences, and are friends again. he's still laying claim to the goods, but that's his issue not mine *giggle*

i'm still seeing The Toolbelt (the one my last post was about), though i've slowed that down some. and i'm also seeing Mr. Cerebral. They ironically live roughly 15 minutes from each other, but the good thing is that the latter spends his social time in Brooklyn, so never the two shall meet. *phew*

dating (more than one guy) is way out of my league for real peeps! though i'm handling it pretty well, it's still overwhelming and something that i'm not used to.

i have these crazy horny periods that i have the worst time containing. i was in Florida, so there was no way for me to satisfy my needs. Girl 6 had NOTHING on me when i made my calls (read: demands) for sexual gratification upon my return to NJ.

Lil Lady continues to be the most amazing person to me. while so many mothers are going through hell with their teens, i'm enjoying a warm, affectionate, open, and honest relationship with mine. *yay*

speaking of Lil Lady, she has once again made the High Honor Roll. beauty AND brains in one petite lil package. i'm so blessed!

"Yes, we can" is something that i'm living by and find ways to apply it to my life on a daily basis. i'm not going to be that person who voted for the man and is now complacent because i've gotten what i wanted. i'm going to be an even bigger advocate for positive change and efficiency for myself, my family, and my community.

even though i'm struggling financially (like most are), i'm ever grateful for what i DO have and i'm thankful for each and every day i wake, can work, have health benefits, etc. i don't complain about what i don't have because there truly is so much i have and to be grate/thankful for.

my health continues to be good and even though i'm sick of being poked and prodded, examined, and charted, i know it's for the greater good and health awareness is a key proponent in keeping me alive and well.

even though i'm dating, love is still elusive to me and i do truly hope one day that it'll find me, take me down, and hold me hostage for life.

faith and prayer are two key components in how i make it through life.

as we approach Thanksgiving, i reflect on the many things/people I'm thankful for and it's easier to focus on the good stuff rather than the bad. as Sam Cooke's song said, A Change Gone Come and it can/will as long as we believe and participate.

i refused the extremely rude and errant attempts on getting my attention while in JFK airport recently and was called out my name for it. i promptly corrected him and infromed him that his actions and inability to accept my refusal demonstrated a lack of class and integrity on his part and that he's apparently not used to dealing with women with any real respect for herself and that's why he came out his face. i went on to tell him that he might want to dig into his pysche as to why he sees and treats women the way he does if he has any hopes on getting a woman with any self-worth. i walked away leaving him some words to ponder and about 15 mins later, he came back and apologized. he told me he's not used to women turning him down (he was attractive) and that he was used to getting his way and what he wanted. ironically, this led to a conversation about women, their worth and that woman are their own worst enemy and sell themselves out for the stupidest of things. at the end if the conversation we agreed that we truly hope that we can regain our positions as princesses/queens/empresses. he said, he was going to work on being a king. *wow*

work has been so crazy and demanding lately and i really felt like my efforts were going unnoticed. actually they weren't and my manager has given me a lot of props for what i've been doing and how well i've taken on my increased work load.

i've taken the opportunity to travel for work and i love it as much as i did in the past. in Oct i went to IN and KY. last week, i was in Fl, and next month, i'm going to TX. i want to stay marketable, gain field experience, and show them that i'm willing to learn and mature in my work skills.

a good/reliable source says my name has come up for some form of promotion in the new year.

speaking of traveling; my trip to Fl was fantastical! i was in Jacksonville, Orlando, and Miami with a great guy in my work group. we had a blast and hooked up with my fave girl cuz in Miami and had a night on the town. he'd never been to Fl before, so we had to make it memorable for him.

i was able to stay for the remainder of the weekend and catch up with mum and dad and sis.

my cuz and i are completely nuts together; always have been and always will be. we're the proverbial two peas in a pod. together we're like C4 waiting to be ignited! i think we might have been the catalyst for what we saw on a t-shirt. "came here for vacation and left on probation". though we've never been summoned by any law enforcement agencies, we've come close. *giggle at the mems*

i apologize for being out of the loop, but life has to be lived, but know that i've not forgotten any of you and even though i may not always comment, i do try to read your blogs and see what you're up to.

well, my blog fam, that's all for now. Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you. I pray blessings for you and your families/friends during this time of communcal gatherings.


09 November 2008

and the readers say what?

Your current interest decides that things aren't working out because you decide not to rearrange your previously made plans because s/he has decided at the last moment that they're going to visit. You're gobsmacked momentarily at their lack of consideration, insensitivity, and unforgiving attitude because you're sticking to your guns and not allowing yourself to be manipulated and guilted.

You do the mature thing and try to reason with him/her and have them understand that it's not that you don't want to see them, but they've not considered that you in fact have a life that does not solely revolve around them. Shortly thereafter, they refuse to accept your calls and you say, the hell with it and go on with your night.

The next day, you receive no calls and you make no calls deciding that you're not going to give in to the selfish and errant whim of his/her attitude. Now, I need to add that this isn't the first time s/he has treated you like this. In the past, plans were made and not honored, you've been treated as the option not the priority, and you've accepted what minimal time they gave you instead of none at all. Your feelings were minimally considered throughout the treatment you were given and yet you decided; though skeptically taht things might change.

Another day passes and contact is made. S/he is still blaming you for the inicident and you're like "seriously?" You engage counsel of a trusted friend who might be able to provide some insight you can use to resolve the tension. You become the bigger person and try to resolve the situation and move on. You're met with a demeaning and dismissive attitude and you're now acutely aware that s/he's playing the victim. The call is ended on them saying they'll call you back and you go on with your day; business as usual. The next day, you receive a call from them asking why they haven't heard from you and you're like "WTF?", but don't really say it out loud. You try to engage in conversation and find it's yeilding nothing good and you find a way to opt out.

Yet another day passes, and s/he calls you essentially blaming you for all the bullcrap that's going on in his/her life and how they're the victim of their own lack of direction, effectiveness, and action, but of course they never admit that. Instead that try to berate and demean you into submission. Knowing that they're full of crap and trying their damndest to defer, you stand your ground and speak your mind in no uncertain terms. When s/he realizes that they don't have you where they want to, they end the call. You laugh and go on with your evening.

Because you're the bigger person, you call the next day and say, "you calm now?" They say, "I'm always calm" and you say, "okay, then cool and pretty much end the conversation before it can go anywhere. A day passes and no contact is made from either party. Then today rolls around and they call you being all "normal". You chuckle to yourself and engage the conversation (such that it is) and put no real energy into him/her.

Now readers, if this had happened to you, what would you do? I'm curious to see how people respond to negative behaviour and treatment in a day and age when we should be so beyond the sophmoric attitudes that so-called adults are still displaying.

As for me, I'm simply amused and no longer really affected.

Cast your vote...


05 November 2008

Awed, humbled, and thankful

Words are something I'm usually not at odds with, but I truly am on the verge of being speechless in regard to our President-elect Barack Obama. Not only am I happy to have been a part of this electoral process, but having lil lady txt me her vote because she couldn't do it herself, showed me that she's actively participating in what will be her future.

I think about my Godchildren and how their future has more promise than ever before and when they're told that they can be anything they put their hearts and minds to, I know it's not said with a bitter pill on my tongue.

I'm not simply awed and humbled by Barack Obama, but by his wife, Michelle. Her unwavering poise, grace, support, and love for her husband eminated each and every time she was interviewed or gave speech. She truly is That Woman! Their children are beautiful and I'm sure grounded and focused on being more than historical pawns; though they're still a bit young to fully understand and appreciate what's happening. I feel confident saying that their parents will continue to center themselves on them and provide the foundation of family for them; one in which I pray we will strive to aspire to.

I received this picture and tears came to my eyes as I saw the warmth and love radiate amongst them.

God bless this family, their future, and all the lives they've touched and will touch.