30 November 2006

Thank yous, shout outs, and props!

Today's post is a simple thank you for those who take the time out of their days to read my blogs (this one and The Saphyre Lounge). Of the many things you can do in a a day, including me doesn't have to be one of them; however, the fact that you do means a lot to me. When I initially began blogging, I didn't really embrace the comments portion of it as I thought that many were just commenting out of some form of obligation or to get a reciprocal comment. As time progressed, I realized that there was a sincere interest in what I was posting and I felt that I was networking in a way I'd never imagined could happen. Though I have a MySpace page, I don't feel the warmth and sincerity there as I do on Blogger (even though it arbitrarily acts the hell up). On Blogger, comments are shared openly and honestly with no hidden agendas (well, none that I've had). The inspiration, guidance, humor, love, etc., that is shared; though virtual, provides a connection that could become so much more. As I said in yesterday's post, I've made some real connections to people and those connections have opened doors that I wouldn't have otherwise received. So, without further babbling, I would like to take a moment to bow in your honor. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Give back some of the inspiration, joy, comfort, and unity that you've given me. The list is in no particular order and if for some crazy chance, I've omitted your name, please do NOT take it personally as it was not intentional.

  • Meditations of a Broken Soul
  • - You are a great friend, a cool manager, a PITA at times, but I love you much.
  • Wide Lawns Narrow Minds
  • - SW, you were one of the first blogs I consistently read when I first got on Blogger. Your posts are long, but well worth the read.
  • Indigo Trail of my Thoughts
  • - Nikki, your blog has made me laugh more times than I can count. It's also given me rooom for pause and envoked some tears.
  • Slimm's Soliloquy
  • - Slimm, I happened upon this you by accident, but enjoyed my visits though you post sporadically.
  • The Butterfli Affect
  • - Girl, there's so much I can say about you, but most of it is NOT for public knowledge, so I'll simply say, our kinnection is so fly and thanks for giving me a reason to let my guard down.
  • Urban Butterfly
  • -UB, a special bow goes to you because you are such a beautiful person and your blog inspires me in so many ways.
  • The Cheap Seats
  • - I happened upon this blog while visiting another and boy was I ever impressed with it. Terry, you are a truly gifted and articulate man and I'm awed by your compassion and humanity. One day we shall meet and converse for hours.
  • Short Short Fiction
  • - Lehane, my fellow countryman. Your writing is incredible and your talents endless. I feel so fortunate to have made your acquaintance and I know it will bring forth great works.
  • The Master Cleanse
  • - This blog has assisted me in maintaining good health and well-being and provided information I could easily and immediately use.
  • Lovers Anonymous
  • - X, damn! What can I say? You are talented, creative, inspiring, giving, open, thoughtful to say the least. Making your acquaintance has been a wonderful occurance for me.
  • The Dancing Archer
  • - A recent find and certainly a well worth one.
  • Susan Abraham
  • - Su, you're an incredible writer and I look forward to reading your posts everyday. Your comments are always wise and insightful.
  • The Wandering Author
  • - Although I don't read this blog as often, it's still full of great stuff.
  • Post a Secret; Share a Secret
  • - All I can say is, check this blog out. Better yet, buy the books. This blog will definitely be of use and inspiration to you all.
  • More Than the Sum of My Parts
  • - Tiff, I happened up on yours by chance and you often provide information that I wouldn't ordinarily think about, which is great for making me see and think about things/life from another pov.
  • Miss(ed) Manners
  • - D, you're a freaking nut and that's what makes your blog such fun for me to read. Well, that and the fact that you reside in an area I'm completely familiar with.
  • The Mistress
  • - Girl, you are the damn truth! Your blog has expanded my sexual knowledge and your ability to be open and so vocal impresses me. You are someone I'd like to meet and hang out with one day.
  • The Fackin Truth
  • - H, just keep on doing what you're doing cause your blog gives it to me straight no chaser and with a little humor as a chaser from time to time. It's them darn kids!
  • Life in the Chocolate City
  • - Thanks for that sweet potato pie recipe; it's the damn truth. You ought to copyright it and sell it. That aside, the blog is extremely informative and G-Mo has a good side hustle going on if you ever need tix. Holla at dat boi!
  • JoJo Dancer
  • - JoJo, Little do you know that I'm a little scared of you, but in a good way. Your confidence, tenacity, and willingness to speak on issues I wouldn't have even given thought to gives me knowledge and awareness.
  • Black Blogs
  • - For allowing me to add my blogs to your site so more people can become aware of me.
  • JayHawk Fever
  • - Mom, your radiance shines through in so many ways and your strength as a mother inspires me and lets me know that things will be okay.
  • Woman On The Move
  • - For breaking it down in terms that a meaningful and for just being open on the way you look at things.
  • Fortress of Solitude
  • - Clark, for giving me reason to know that there really are superheroes out there.
  • Romantic Verses
  • - Sleek, you were another of the first blogs I began reading and I used to love to read the Hustler Diaries, but all those half naked women was a bit much for me, so I unfortunately quit you. But you came back to me and I love your new site. Can't wait for you to update it.
  • Everything In Its Right Place
  • - Iron, you are so missed. Your writing is incredible and I can't wait for you to return and grace me with your skills.
  • Glass Petal Roses
  • - Slump, you've written and continue to write some profound pieces and I enjoy stopping by your blog.
  • The Road to Redemption from Perdition
  • - Nique, you're a great writer and have so much potential,so please try to post more frequently.
  • The Copasetic Soul
  • - Copa, you exude such a beautiful energy and I always get a sense of tranquility when I visit you.

    Honorable mentions because I haven't added you to my current blog roll yet.

    Drum roll for the following:

    J.C - you are not a blogger but have been a reader since day one and you get mad props for that. BZ, t.c, chele, snakebite, wendy, jenellybean, tethabile, ncnaynay, organized noise, so...wise...sista, debo blue, rastaman, barb, kaleidescope, lyricallyspeaking and brutha buck.

    29 November 2006

    Life's blessings

    It's said, that when one door closes another opens and I am experiencing the benefits of that. Lately, moreso; since this summer, some very profound changes have occurred in my life and though at one point it seemed like they'd get the best of me; a way was made for me to get through it.

    While I struggled to deal with a long-standing painful issue in my life, I finally decided I needed to pen my thoughts/feelings to get it off my chest and let it go once and for all. As that door closed; another did open, but it was another trap door. I once again found myself struggling with an issue I had long suppressed that had decided to resurface. During that time, I was reunited with a dear college friend whom I'd lost contact with. As we talked to catch up and reminisce the issue sat on the forefront on my mind like oil on water. The issue came up in conversation between my friend and I and it was then that I realized my reunion was a part of the process to close that open trap door. I detailed the event that caused some hurt and confusion between us and my friend embraced me (emotionally) and let me know it was all good and that I could and should let it all go. My explanation helped not only him understand what really happened, but at the same time allowed me to finally lay it all to rest. Since that day, my friendship has amplified and you'd never think that we'd lost any time between us.

    That has not been the only blessing borne of doors opening and closing and as the title states, Life's Blessings are in full effect in my life. I've made some really good contacts and friends through Blogger and my ability to write and take my writing further has been amplified; especially at a time when I questioned my ability. My friends and I started our own company and we've made and are continuing to make some really good and reputable contacts along the way. We've had a few hurdles, but they've helped us see where we're deficient and those hurdles are now catalysts to become better.

    I recently received and accepted an offer to have one of my posts printed in an book which will be published and I've also accepted a writing endeavor with the very talented DBA Lehane. Please check him out when you have some time Short Short Fiction. Once complete, the story will be posted on our respective sites. Mine will be posted on my other blog The Saphyre Lounge.

    At a time when I thought my usual kind regard toward humanity seemed to be dissipating, my participation in my company's annual food drive, restored my compassion to its fullest and I feel ever blessed to have made such a simple difference in someone's life. They looked at me and the others who delivered food with such grateful eyes, but it is I who feels the gratitude toward them for never relenting in their faith and hope for good things to happen; as it truly opened a door within my heart that I was fighting to keep closed. Not out of disdain or disregard, but because so many abuse their plight and I'd had enough of seeing, reading, or hearing about it.

    I've said all of this to say, that the doors are there and they are waiting for you to walk through. Let go of your apprehension, fears, doubts, lack of faith, and allow the familiar doors to close in favor of new ones, as many of them were doing nothing but trapping you in a place you shouldn't be.

    Rest on these words and they will open and close the doors for you...

    "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." - Hebrews 11:1

    "Ask in faith, never doubting." - James 1:6

    Be blessed and be well.

    28 November 2006

    What's wrong with saying Christmas?

    As I walk around my work site, I see the signs advertising the various "Holiday Parties" that will be taking place in and out of the building. A coworker questioned the use of "Holiday" as opposed to "Christmas" and I questioned the same. What is wrong with saying Christmas? All of a sudden, it's "politically incorrect" to say Christmas. WTF? I have an issue with that. What bunch of assclown morons in Washington decided that we can't use the word Christmas? Is that not what the holiday is? Who was offended? The Jewish? The Muslims? The atheists? Who? I said, who? Each of the aforementioned, save for the atheists have their respective holidays of which they celebrate accordingly and the names of each aren't being changed, so why was Christmas a target of such blasphemy? I seriously would like an answer because I refuse to accept saying anything but Merry Christmas, Christmas break, or any other Christmas derived theme.

    All this so-called politically correct bullshit is just that; bullshit! They've changed so many things in the name of political correctness, but what the hell does politics have to do with any of it? I'm really more than sick and tired of some jacked up suit wearin, narrow lipped, sexually repressed, can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, limp-dick, assclown telling me what the fuck I can and can't say. Last I checked there was Freedom of Speech, (though we know what a joke that shit is) so I should be able to say Christmas if I want to. What the hell would I sound like if I walked up to someone on CHRISTMAS Day and said, Merry Holiday for "fear" of offending them? You know what, if you are offended, so damn what! Suck it up sweetie and get over it. What are they gonna change next, Happy Birthday?

    With all the damn hoopla made of Halloween and Valentine's Day of which NIETHER is a friggin holiday, why the hell can't they just leave well enough alone? On a daily friggin basis we all say something that's not grammatically correctly, punctuated correctly, and so on; are we gonna start censoring appropriate speech next? I'm sorry, actually, I'm not; I'm going to keep saying Christmas. I'm going to continue to keep CHRIST in Christmas and not say Xmas. How is it that folk are offended when someone says, "Happy Turkey Day" and not Merry Christmas? That's because they're ignorant assholes who don't know shit from shortcake when it comes to things of real importance.

    The irony is that the same assclowns who came up with this politically correct bullshit are the same ones saying "Thank you Jesus!" or "Thank God!" They better recognize the real validity in what they're saing instead of misappropriating their speech. How can you say "Thank you Jesus" and NOT want to say Christmas? Now that's some real confusing shit right there.

    Is it just me or do you see some gaps in their thinking?

    27 November 2006

    Still Thankful

    As I contemplated this blog, I thought about all the things/people we gave thanks to and for last week. I wondered how many of those things/people we'd still be thankful for this week. I also thought about whether we'd still be giving of ourselves throughout the year and not just because it was Thanksgiving and Christmas is forthcoming.

    As the many thoughts traversed through my mind, I read one of my favorites blogs In Rememberance and learned that a good friend of hers had passed. We later spoke on the passing and the reality that many of us take for granted is that we are all dying. For my friends friend Trish, she was only 24 and had a 10 month old daughter. Yes, only 24 years old! Trish was terminally ill; however, I learned she lived her life fully in spite of. She relied upon her faith in God to always be her guide and to not succumb to the illness prematurely. As we spoke, we both acknowledged that each one of us is living on borrowed time. Trish had the forewarning of knowing just how much she might have, while we do not.

    I ask you all this, if you knew you only had a limited time to live, would it change how you live? Most of us will shout a resounding "yes" and that's where the problem begins. Why should it take the knowing of our demise to make us live better? It shouldn't. We all know that life is filled with ups and downs, but we can still find something to be grateful/thankful/mindful for. Life is not filled with one negative thing after another. We have to embrace the bad to appreciate the good, so on and so forth. Even if you aren't a church goer, I'm sure each of you have some beliefs and those beliefs in a higher power are what helps to guide and shape you. As my friend and I talked on, wee acknowledged a few Bible verses that have been a powerful source when all seemed dark. Romans 5:3, 4, 5 say the following:
    "...And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience:
    And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
    And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abrouad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us..."

    It is that kind of knowledge and guidance that we all need to adhere to. We're human and it's not easy to think past our immediate discomfort, but as it's said, "there is always someone worse off than you." In addition, I recall some of the lyrics to the song It's Gonna Rain, by Kelly Price
    "It will rain (Oh...ho...)
    There'll be pain (Only for a little while)
    Trouble will come (Yeah, they will)
    Understand (Ooh...)
    Count it on joy (You gotta count)
    Mornin' will come (After the rain)
    The sun will shine (Yeah, yeah)
    Keep your head high (Mmm, uh-huh)"

    If we indulge ourselves with good energy, surround ourselves with good people, and keep a higher power in our lives, we can overcome much, appreciate everything, and live better lives. I do recognize it's all easier said than done, but sometimes you've got to do the hard things in life. If everything was a "gimme" we'd still find something to complain about because we'd want for more and more. I later read this blogger's (she suffers with depression) thoughts on the joys in her life and was again reminded how fortunate we are. In All Things Joy.

    Each day is a constant reminder that we're blessed to see the day. We have to be thankful each and every day because people like Trish who only lived 24 years will never see her daughter grow and she'll never know what her life would have become, but she lived the life she had with joy and thanksgiving regardless. We are the ones living death's watch and maybe if we keep that in mind, we'd actually have more fulfilling lives instead of complaining about what we don't have, what we want, and so on.

    I know this post might be a buzz kill, but it is what it is...the truth.

    P.S...I wanted to thank all of you who posted last week. I unfortunately didn't have the time to go back and acknowledge comments, but please don't think I didn't read or appreciate those left. Without you all, my blog would be nothing. I appreciate the time each of you take out of your day to read and comment.

    21 November 2006

    With Thanksgiving

    Massah n'em had me busy ALL weekend. As I mentioned in Thursday's post, it was a duty weekend right before the damn holiday. Of course the timing couldn't have been any worse cause now I'm running around doing last minute stuff instead of being able to enjoy what minimal time I have before the Thanksgiving festivities. All that drama aside, I'm alive and well and want to share a story with you, so we can truly know, enjoy, and appreciate what we have.

    My company does an annual food drive for families in need of which I joyfully participate in. Yesterday as we prepared the boxes for the families, a sense of serentiy filled my heart as I appreciated what I was doing. Giving of myself to others without thought, without wanting in return, and knowing that a part of me would be with them on Thanksgiving and beyond. It just felt right and good. There was one family that touched me deeply. They were a family of 13 all living under one roof as the mother took in her children in due to their respective loss of homes. Each time the woman was contacted, she cried tears of joy for the compassion she was being shown. We decided to take their food to them that same day instead of the next (Tuesday) seeing as their need was great and they had the most things. We packed our vehicles and drove over to the house. The lady cried from the moment we arrived to the moment we left after giving each of us warm, thankful hugs. Tears filled my eyes as I choked them back to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving and to say God bless you. We informed her that we'd return today (Tuesday) to bring the remaining items, milk, eggs, butter, hotdogs and and a ham. The woman was so excited that she said, "hotdogs? You're gonna bring me hotdogs? Oh, I'll get to eat them for lunch tomorrow". Man, I can't even begin to tell you how those words pulled on my heart strings. This woman was excited about eating hotdogs; a food that repulses me and that I wouldn't eat if I was starving.

    After choking back even more tears, I got in my vehicle and left wondering if she eats on a daily basis. Here, most of us discard food like it's nothing, turn our noses up at things we "don't like", yet here's a woman who got excited over hot dogs and cried as she received boxes of food from the kindness of strangers. For the rest of the night, this woman laid heavy on my heart and I pray for her. I pray that her life will improve and that her children's plight will be lifted. I pray that this family will have more to live on and for as they receive the true joys of Thanksgiving.

    I implore each of you that reads this to give a little more of yourself not just for Thanksgiving, but always. Keep in mind that what we see as beneath us, is the only thing that some people will have. All in all, recognize your own thanksgivings, your own blessings, and your own good fortune because it was made abundantly clear to me yesterday that I have little to complain about, be sorrowful for, and ungrateful for. My prayer last night was for forgiveness for the simple complaints I may have made and to be grateful for everything, and I mean everything that I have. My sufferings may have been many, but my life is pretty good now and for all of that I need to always be ready to give something that I may pay forward the blessings in my life.

    I wish each and everyone of you a safe, joyful, happy, and safe Thanksgiving. May God's love and blessings be upon you all and may the goodness in your lives be appreciated.

    16 November 2006

    things on my mind

    I'm having a hard time blogging today as I have too many erratic thoughts competing in my head, so I came up with a compromise as to who wins...all of them.

    Thinking why %(#*%(&#( the training scheduler planned a duty weekend 18th & 19th and Thanksgiving is the 23rd

    Thinking about ALL the other things I should be doing instead of blogging

    Thinking that I want to perform a random act of violence just because

    Thinking why I want to perform a random act of violence

    Thinking about Gerald Levert being only 40 when he passed and I'm less than a year away from 40

    Thinking (knowing) I need a large amount of cash anonymously deposited into my account that I neither have to report or return

    Thinking about the gift certificate to the Spa that I'm anxious to use

    Thinking which service I should choose to have at the spa

    Thinking about the dumber than duck shit insurance adjuster I've been dealing with and why I didn't report her inefficiency

    Thinking about Thanksgiving

    Thinking about those less fortuante that I will be assisting by participating in my company's annual food drive and donation

    Thinking about some of the things I shouldn't say out loud cause it's TMI

    Thinking that those of you who've never visited my other blog; should

    Thinking that this is enough thinking and I'm gone.

    15 November 2006

    separated at birth

    Now I know it's not nice to call someone ugly because everyone is beautiful to someone; in addition, beauty is in the eye of the beholder right? But I'm sorry, there are some people who are just "butt" as lil lady would say and Flavor Flav is one of them. My girl L:Boogie sent me an email this morning with the following picutres in it and you know you can't deny the truth.

    Please tell me if there is NOT a striking resemblence between the two and if they could not have been separated at birth. I mean damn, how uncanny is it? I was seriously cracking the eff up when I saw the two.

    I thought I'd give you something to amuse you this hump day...hope I've achieved just that.

    13 November 2006

    he say; she say; we say; they say

    Okay, so we all know and have been taught that we shouldn't tattle tale, gossip, back stab, and all that other happy stuff, so why do we keep doing it? This is not one of those things you learn when you become an adult. Hell, you're practically taught that out of the womb. Now, I accept that certain things are just going to happen and we're all gonna get caught up or caught out there, but when do you realize that you need to stop playing games and woman/man up? I see it like this, if you think you're grown enough to repeat something someone said, possibly take it out of context, or not disclaim it with "in my opinion", then why open your damn mouth in the first place? Don't we learn this lesson in like grade school?

    In order to protect certain people, there are occasions when you might have to protect their identity. That being the case, then give said person a ficticious name. It makes the story easier to follow and it makes the story more credible if they aren't referred to in the third person. I know someone who constantly told stories of "they" and I finally had enough and asked her to qualify her story with a name; it's not like I really know who the hell she was talking about anyway.

    That aside, my issue is with those who take and repeat things out of context to a another party and then leave the person with whom they were initially speaking holding the bag as if he/she was the perpetrator. The hell is up with that? If you were (or thought you were) grown enough to inquire, participate, and then repeat (even out of context or with no disclaimer), then you need to own up to it if confronted. Hell, if necessary, all parties need to hash it out and you'll soon find out who told the truth and who didn't cause all of a sudden, folks attitudes start to shift. The one seeking the truth will be calm, have their facts in order, and speak without being offensive. The perp will start catching attitude and getting all defensive and the story may change a time or two. The listening party will also get defensive and then clam up cause s/he realizes that s/he jumped to the wrong conclusions and was being accusitory for no reason.

    People will be people I understand that, but there does come a time when we all have to face the music, so why not be the party who's played by the book and has nothing to hide. Acknowledge the fact that mutual friendships don't always have to include all parties in all conversations. And when party "A" is speaking with party "B"; neither party "A" or "B" has to go back to party "C" and say anything. Recognize that you're not always being "helpful" by involving all; especially when there was no cause for repeating anything anyway.

    Never ever forgot there are 3 sides to every story, his, hers, and the truth; it's best to always be on the truth side of the story. A lie is a script you have to repeat over and over again to remember and repeat while the truth is always constant and requires no preparation. And in closing, friends don't play gossip and intermediate if there's no fear of a lie being found out.

    Is it just me or is that a common sense little lesson from life's handbook?!

    09 November 2006


    Yesterday my heart broke for the umpteenth time, but this heart break was by far one of the worst ever. The question posed to the children was, "what kind of role model do you think your father is?" The response of one child was, "I don't!" There was no hesitation; no pause; no room for doubt. Those two words tore into the core of me sharper than a Chinese chef with a Ginsu knife. How do you look into the face of a child and try to find words to make them feel better when they know that the man they're supposed to look up to; the man who is supposed to be their guide; the man who is supposed to be the cement they walk on for firm foundation isn't any of those things?

    As a mother, godmother, aunt, and role model, I strive to do the best I can to set a good image for the children I'm around. I know I'm far from perfect and I know I don't and won't have all the answers, but hell, I can at least say, "I try". If nothing else, I try to be the best I can be for any child I have a relationship with. I want that child to know that I'm trustworthy, I'll keep my word/promise, and I'll do what I can to lead by example. Adults have a way of both inspiring and hurting children and I insist on being the former because I know first hand what it's like to not have good role models or positive influences. Hell, even if I had the greatness of good adults in my life, I would still want to be a good influence on a child. It's to the benefit of the adult and the child to form a bond that says, I can and will make a difference.

    I digress to my opening paragraph. Does said parent not know or even give a damn that he's setting his kid up for failure by not providing her basic needs? Does said parent not think his role in his childs life is important for how she'll view and accept men in her life? Is said parent so caught up in his own selfish existence that nothing really matters other than keeping a roof over her head, buying some clothes, and whatever else?

    Again, it hurts my heart as a parent to know children have to suffer like this. It hurts when the child knows that their parent is lacking what it takes for them to even look at their parent with the love, trust, and respect that shoud be inate to them. Damn! One would think that in this day and age where we see so many children suffering, that those of use who are parents or have some role in a childs life would be more compassionate and selfless. But I guess that's simply wishful thinking of my part.

    I know I can't save all the kids, but I'll continue to be the best positive influence I can be and hope that others will step up and do their part too. We can't condemn kids if we're not arming them with the tools, support, love, and resources they'll need to grow.

    08 November 2006

    Effective Speach

    There is infinitely more to be gained through cooperation than through confrontation. -- Ralph Marston

    As I digest upon those words, I recall the many times I’ve blacked out due to something not going my way or by the lack of customer service by a so-called customer service rep. It is in fact out of character for me to act that way, as I truly dislike confrontation and discord. Fortunately for me, I’ve grown enough to know how to properly articulate my thoughts combined with the right choice of words to effectively, yet politely tell someone off. I find myself amused by how powerful doing that is. I’m not looked at like some raving loon who has nothing better to do than to draw unnecessary attention to herself, I’m looked at with respect and sensibility. Whatever that person is really thinking inside is anyone’s guess, but knowing that I’ve proved or made my point without embarrassing myself serves me well. I’ve been told you get more with sugar than salt anyway.

    Almost a year ago, I had an incident with a car dealership where I was misled and given a vehicle that was not what I wanted. I promptly made my dissatisfaction with the salesperson known and referred to the “powers that be” from that point on to rectify the situation. After being the run around, I used my effective speaking and writing abilities to report my growing disdain with the situation and requested a prompt resolution. Their attempts of pacifying me were futile because their words and actions were not in compliance with how they claim they do business. I continued to report my growing frustration via phone and email hoping to resolve the matter. Again, things did not go as they said, so I did what I’m good at. I showed up, put on my game face and in less that 500 words told them what they could do for me and how. Within a week I had what I was supposed to get and then some. Naturally, I was met with some resistance; however, they could not break me. I continued on my mission until fully satisfied and won the battle and the war. Just as the power of the pen is mightier than the sword, so is the power of a sugared tongue tainted with salt. (I just made that up…lol)

    Seriously though, think about the negative situations you’re in and then think of how you can get what you want out of it without blowing your top. You’ll find yourself successful in making your point and commanding the respect you probably deserved in the first place. Also, check out Can We Just Calm Down for a poetic take on the subject.

    07 November 2006

    The Active Participant

    "Engage yourself fully in the details of living, and with each day you add value to your life that cannot be taken away. Be an active, enthusiastic participant in this day, and you'll come away from it with real, lasting treasure." -- Ralph Marston

    Ever have days when you wonder where the hell time went and/or what you've done with your life? Of course you have; we all have. I have gaps in my life which I can't and don't recall and there have been moments where I wonder who was at the wheel. I realize now that I relinquished control to the wrong things and sometimes the wrong people. That revelation is startling because it shows that we're all so easily misled, misguided, and misunderstood when we aren't clear about what our intentions are for ourselves or for/with others. So, often when we realize we've been back seat drivers in our cars of life, and those we let at the wheel were in some ways drunk drivers. Granted, there are times when we need to relinquish control and allow others to lead while we're trying to figure things out, but there does come a time when we have to stop and take control. We can't and shouldn't allow ourselves to squander our lives away.

    In speaking with lil sis on Sunday, she told me of her soon to be 26 year old friend who is currently pregnant with her 4th child. Said girl has only a high school education, a part time job, an unemployed husband, and her 3rd child has cerebal palsy; a bit much for a girl I'd say. Lil sis and I discussed how this girl has no prospects of a better life, probably will not be able to provide a better life for her children, and basically will only have children to show for her existence. Though I partly wanted to feel bad for the girl, I found that I couldn't. She has chosen the life she currently has and her complains are pretty warrantless as she's made the proverbial bed she's laying in. We predict that years from now, she'll look back and wonder where it all went and what does she have to show for herself. As they say, "with age comes wisdom", so this we're hoping that she'll stop having kids and try to do what she can with what she has for herself and her family. We also hope that her husband will step up to the plate and get a job.

    Back to my initial and basic point though...We all need to be active participants in our lives. We can't and shouldn't sit around complacent and placing blame on why we're in the predicaments we're in. It's all so easy to say it's society's fault for this or that; blame our parents; blame our education (sometimes lack thereof); we simply need to start being active. Get off our asses and do something; anything is better than nothing. Look beyond material things to define you. Look beyond whether you're the perfect height, size, or weight. Find wealth in knowledge, integrity, and excelling at whatever it is you're good out. Lead; however, follow when necessary. There are so many ways to be active...what's yours?

    03 November 2006

    Open your (&%)#*% mouth

    DISCLAIMER: I'm angry. Not just your average garden variety type of anger, but that full-fledged, I'd like to slap the taste outchat mouth type angry; so if you're not up for having your Friday skunked, stop reading now.

    Okay, I finally got to read I Don't Wanna Play Either and I swear Jus and I are truly kinnected (her word for our relationship) because her post is complimentary to my thoughts right now. I'm so fucking sick and tired of people who can't say what the fuck is truly on their mind. No, I'm not talking about being quiet to be politically correct; I'm talking about people who send mixed fucking messages, use crptic speech, or say nothing at all. Will someone please tell me what the fuck is up with that? I know IT IS NOT JUST ME? Jus's blog and the one she referred to in her blog obviously support my thinking/quesion. In another post by Jus Indiscriminate Thoughts posted yessterday one of her "How comes?" asked, "How come I hate when people try to spit slick shit in code or using cryptic language instead of just saying what the fuck they want to say?" This form of "speech" is insulting, juvenile, frustrating, as well as down right fucking cruel. People's feelings are at stake and the mutha fucka toy's with them. People who do this are spineless and deserve to be fucking shot.

    I won't sit here and act like the morality police and say I've never sent mixed messages, but when called on it as I had been, I spoke up. I digressed into incessant apologies and thoroughly explained my shortcomings. I can not and will not intentionally send mixed messages especially when the receiving party has been forthcoming.

    The most insulting part of this kind of bullshit communication is that the offending party will act as if he/she has done nothing wrong. WTF? Yeah, right, like the receiving party is sitting around asking to be fucking shit on. I doubt that highly. In the case that has be partly so worked up, I know it's the offending party that's causing all the heartache. The receiver has decided to digress, but was met with resistence and now that she wants to know where she stands, she's being given the run around. Age and experience is telling me to let it go and not take it so personally, but when I see what the receiving party is going through and knowing that said person has done NOTHING BUT BE KIND, SUPPORTIVE, AND NICE, I'm sorry I can't. This is the kind of shit that makes me wanna roll up on offender and be like, "you know, you're a fuck up right?" But of course I can't do that as it's truly not my place, but politeness be damned, I really want to. Again, I digress and recognize that I need to continue to be a friend to the receiver of the bullshit treatment and guide her as best I can. I'm a ride or die type friend and that's why I'm all worked up.

    I recognize and realize that with age comes wisdom and I'll cut the offender a little, and I do mean a little slack, cause they're young; however, that doesn't take away the fact that human kindness can be extended at any age especially when you're above 18 and have had a little relationship experience under your belt. And folk wonder why I'm still fucking single. A chick like me has no time for the drama.

    I'm now a little calmer than how I started, but I know this is temporary. Seeing the hurt and pain in my friend's eyes later is going to kill me and I'll have to restrain "Annie" (alter ego) from wanting to black the fuck out and holla at the dumbass for their inability to keep it real.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend and in closing I ask you all to think about the words that leave your mouth when you speak. Always strive to "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

    02 November 2006

    Not your average thankful Thursday

    As I stated on Monday, themed weeks are stressful for me and there was the possibility that I may change at any time. Well, today is that day. Two weeks of themes was more than I could bare and I have other things on my mind anyway.

    As we approach Thanksgiving, I reflect on the many things I am thankful for. I actually do it almost daily for as we know nothing is promised. Yesterday a coworker received a call at work that her brother was killed. As she fell to the floor and cried hysterically, I was again reminded that nothing is promised and we should find something to be thankful for regardless. No, we may not have the money we want, the expansive home, blah, blah, blah, but shit; there IS ALWAYS something to be grateful and/or thankful for.

    I think about the service members who have fought and died over the past 2-3 years fighting a war that many of us are still trying to make sense of. Many of these service members were in their prime; just getting into the swing of life and it was cut short. They'll be another notch in Death Tolls belt and then a forgotten memory save for their families and friends. Casualities of war is what the powers to be will see them as. Their SGLI (Service Members Life Insurance) will pay out, but I'm sure the surviving relatives would prefer the person and not the money. I also think about the servicemembers that return home and have nothing. Their homes are gone, the lives they previously had are gone; along with limbs and sound mental accuities. I'm thankful that I fortunately never got called to such a duty and that my 20 years of service will soon come to an end. The time I've spent in the military has served me well, but I can't do it anymore. I'll thank Uncle Sam and swiftly keep it moving.

    For the shit I've endured in life by the hands of others and in some cases by fault of my own, I am truly thankful for the life I have. I realized that life is beautiful; life is a struggle; life is a beautiful struggle. No matter how hard I think I have it, there is someone somewhere worse off than me. I need to embrace the bad to enjoy the good. The Divine has given me that strength and I will not offend Him by being unnecessarily weak. As a dear friend said during a time of personal issues, "Hallelujah anyway!" I also know that "...no weapon formed against me shall prosper..." I know this to be true and for that I'm thankful.

    There are many things I could go on and on about, but I know you feel me. I know we have times and days when all we want to do is bitch and gripe and I'm not saying you shouldn't. Hell, that would make us perfect if we didn't and we all know we're certainly not perfect. However, after the bitching/griping is over and after you've R.S.V.P'd to your pity party, look around you and find something and/or someone to be thankful for. Know that you probably didn't get where you are in life alone. Not just for this thankful/holiday season, but for everyday, please find ways to be thankful, find ways to be kind, and find ways to pay it forward.

    I know it's not just me, so what/who are you thankful for today?

    01 November 2006

    Why Wednesday

    So far so good with me not quitting the themed week, but I do still have two more days to go. Well, here's my thoughts for today...

    …why do I want to continue the mischief I mentioned in Monday’s post?

    …why do I want to give in to a temptation from Tuesday’s post?

    …why does anyone (politicians) who’s last name end in (R) really piss me off?

    …why does the prospect of a black and/or female president sound so promising, yet a part of me knows come ’08 it may NOT happen?

    …why isn’t it November 7th so all this political bullshit will be over?

    …why do I wish I was on a private jet heading to somewhere tropical?

    …why do I not disagree with this comment..."Being a citizen in George W. Bush's America is like being a passenger in a care driven by a drunk driver"?

    …why am I having enormous mood swings?

    …why am I ignoring there’s probably a reason for it?

    ...why am I still wondering why A.I (Allen Iverson) looked like he was on Lithium when my friends and I on Saturday at the 40/40 Club in A.C?

    ...why do I wish I could have slapped the taste out of the mouth of a coworker who got loud and indignant with me yesterday as I was leaving work? (yes, I did promptly read her ass)

    ...why did the following bloggers jus.b.fli,
    Lovers Anonymous, and
    The Dancing Archer post erotic stuff that I read too damned early in the morning leaving me to sigh and well...I'm just happy I'm not a guy

    What's your "why?" today?