26 February 2009

Reasons to be thankful...

I have God in my life

The ability to see the light in spite of the darkness

Being someone folk can turn to and/or lean on

Knowing how to make a $1 of out 15 cents

I have a fantastic daughter who never fails to bring me love, happiness, and amazing moments of entertainment.

Having the ability to know when to hold or and when to let go

I have some awesome friends who are ride or die and I'm infinitely blessed for their presense in my life

Although I'm far from my immediate family, I know there's mad love there and we simply pick up where we left off

My health! Praise God for modern medicine, technology, and the will to stay strong

For the amazing experiences I'm having and knowing that life truly is for living

For Facebook for bringing some people back into my life

For having talent and using it instead of squandering it

I'm still gainfully employed with excellent health benefits

My Lil Lady's dad who just got her a brand new car. We may not always see eye to eye, but he's good to his daughter

For a president who truly does want to do good for his constituents

For love and it's radiating presense

For not allowing pride to get the best of me when I needed help; I asked for it

For being appreciated at work, home, and amongst my friends

For my first trip of 2009

Being able to recognize that I have much to be thankful for

Love to live; live to love!

24 February 2009

yea, i said it...and?

I'm sure I'll catch some flack for this, but this is my blog and I can say what I want; so here goes.

I'm so sick to death of Beyonce. Yea, she's pretty, she can sing, and she can dance, but she's not the end all be all in female entertainment and/or talent. In fact, if we weren't SOS (so stuck on stupid for the acronym challenged), we'd recognize and appreciate artists like India.Arie, Goapele, Aya, for their artistic capabilities and talent. We, as women wouldn't get caught up in dumb ass lyrics that plague and pollute the airwaves like, "if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it"; "let me upgrade you"; or "a diva is the female version of a hustler". Really? Actaully, a diva is NOT the female version of a hustler. A Diva is according to Webster's Universal College Dictionary, "a prima donna". So, if you're gonna go around singing about some foolishness, then make sure you know what the hell you're talking about.

And all this Chris Brown/Rihanna mess is on my last damn nerve too. Yea, I feel bad as hell that Rihnana got smacked into a new skin tone, but until either one of them makes an honest; I repeat honest statement about what happened, we'll never know. I'm sick of the rumors and speculation about what happened; who hit whom first, and who gave whom an STD and any other story that's circulating. Personally, a dude break bold and hit on me is unlikely to be the one going to the hospital...ask my ex husband about when he tried to break bad. I digress...I think they both need intervention and counseling to get to the root of their issues before there's any talk of reconciliation. A chic like me probably won't take your hitting on me ass back, but I'm not 19-20 years old in my first realn and paparazzi filled relationship either. I'm not eagerly following this story, but I do hope that they each get the help and care they need.

I DVR damn near everything I watch and Oprah the Cult Leader is one of the shows that's on the list. So, today's episode managed not to get deleted because I really don't care who won an Oscar or what the hell they were wearing or some other lame behind subject that she's been having. Anyway, to my point...Ed Doud, the father of the woman who had the octuplets was on and he was trying to defend his daughter and the choice she made to have all those kids. He spent the majority of the show contradicting himself while trying to shut Oprah up as she asked questions and then said, "so, tell us in your words why you wanted to be here" in the same breath. I kind of felt bad for dude because you could tell he was hurt that people were talking trash and kicking dirt on his kid, but he was also pissed and wished she hadn't done what she did. Personally, I think home girl has mad issues and has no real concept of reality, motherhood, and finances because there aren't too many sane women who'd put themselves in that position. Hell, roll up in the hood and ask Laqueesha an nem if they're happy about their six babies and 4 baby daddies even though they're getting a little child support and got Big Mamma to babysit when they wanna get their part time jayo on or hit the club. Yea, I'll bet you they'll say, "yo, that beyah is crayzee as awl heyall fo dat ish fo real doh!" I can barely stand to be at a kids birthday party, much less try to wrap my head around raising 14 damn kids. I'm one and done for a reason, ya heard! I wish old girl the best, but more importanly, I hope those kids don't suffer the fallout from her rather selfish act. Oh, and I damn sure fault that lame brained dr who inseminated her. He's one of the reasons malpractice insurance is so damn high. His license should be revoked and maybe he should be forced to pay child support for what he did.

Now, let me go back to Oprah for a second. Yea, I called her a cult leader and if you're honest and think about it for a second, you might actually agree. Think about how many products people have bought because Oprah said so. Remember that book scandal? Oprah endorsed some book, had dude on her show, everyone ran out and bought the book and then we found out that dude was a fraud. I bet if dude never made the Oprah show or had her endorse his book, that he wouldn't have gotten the amount of attention or sales he got. Acai berries have been around for quite some time, but because Oprah said it's a great weight loss and health aid, folk ran out and bought the product. I swear I wish I had something homegirl could endorse so I could get y'all nice folk to buy it and then I could go back to my little corner of the world with mad loot in my pocket and a little notoriety; why? Because Oprah said so!!!

For those of you old enough to know who Charlie Wilson is, will know that he has a new CD out. Even if you didn't know, you do now. Anyhoo, I don't recall the name of his new song, but I thought it was actually nice; well, that is until I heard him say "conversate". WHAT? Charlie Wilson aka Uncle Charlie, saying "conversate". I was done! Station change, I couldn't hear another note. It's bad enough we hear all kinds of unintelligible lyrics, mispronounced words, etc., in this so-called song from 20-30 something knuckleheads or stank behind chics, but to hear a grown ass man who's been making good songs for umpteen years say that mess just irks me. Tom Joyner. crusader for all things promoting good black consciousness should have called him on that when he had him on the show, but naw, he let's it slide. Well, I didn't...hell, with radio, that's why I play my iPod.

I am in no way offended by gay people, nor do I think they're an abomination, but I don't understand why some need to tag and label themselves and half the things they own with their rainbow flag. I have gay friends and have asked why it's done and I've gotten mixed reviews. Some have said, they're proud of themselves/sexuality and have no qualms letting anyone know. Others have said, it's not necessary to advertise; they're happy and secure in their sexuality without needing to put it out there. Okay, I get that, but that still doesn't completely answer or conclude my questioning. Let's face it, we may be living in 2009 and gay marriage is legal in some states, but people are still mean and will attack randomly. Say, a group of knucklehead kids are out with nothing to do but cause trouble and see a car with a rainbow flag on it, what's likely to happen? Ding! Ding! You guessed it, they're very likely to cause some form of damage to it for no other reason for it belonging to a gay person who tagged their whip. I'm not saying it's right, because I'm not, but for the love of sanity, can someone please make me understand. PLEASE!

This next topic is one that I fail to comprehend...why are grown ass folk getting their knickers in a twist over whether or not they're in someone's Top Friends on MySpace? Really? You've got to be out of your friggin minds...for real! I was getting my hair done a few weeks ago and I overheard a conversation where one woman said to another, "and I better be in your top", and she was dead ass serious and full of attitude. Is it really that serious? Some people take MySpace entirely too damn seriously for a social networking tool. I can't believe people really get into e-fights and even real life fights over who's who in someone's top friends list. Talk about insecurity. Wah! Cry me a friggin river and find something worthwhile to get twisted over.

I so can't stand VH-1 and their so-called Reality Shows. I've never seen so much crap as I've seen on there. Are that many people socially inept, desperate, lacing self-esteem that they'll publically and nationally embarass themselves for 15 minutes of fame or a chunk of change? Apparently yes and I refuse to sacrifice valuable grey matter on them and I think it's sad that so many people don't think like me, but then again; I'm not in my teens or early 20, which seems to be the chosen demographic for those shows. Those poor people, what a waste of time and energy!

I'm done now!

love to live; live to love!

23 February 2009

Parallel Universe

In my heart lies a parallel universe where I’m more than happily married to the man of my dreams, my bestest, best friend, and love of my life. He’s handsome, witty, loving, compassionate, of good moral character, and loves the perfectly imperfect me. Though he’s not to thrilled about my sometimes potty mouth, he accepts it as a part of me and threatens to “put something in my mouth” for each time I curse. Truth be told, I’d curse for the sake of it just to take him up on this threats. *giggle* He sees me as the sexiest woman alive, we have great sex, and love, trust, and respect each other unequivocally.

I digress…In my parallel universe, we live in a nice house, drive nice cars; nothing fancy, but what we can afford and like. We have decent jobs, the bills get paid, and we’re able to vacation a 2-3 times a year both as a family and also as a couple. We have a couple of mini people that we love and adore, a close-knit group of friends, and a loving and supportive family to share our lives and children with. We afford each other time apart to spend with our respective friends and engage in our hobbies independent of the other. We promote the need to remain individuals as well as being a couple in order to maintain harmony and not lose ourselves in titles and status.

“Just because” is a part of how our relationship works because we recognize that it’s the simple things that carry the heaviest weight and we don’t want to lose sight of what brought us together in the first place. We’ll send txts or call each other for no other reason, but to say, “have a nice day”, “I love you”, or “I was thinking about you and wanted you to know”. Romance must be lived not spoken about. When possible, we meet for lunch to break the routine of the day. Sometimes he’ll take a personal day and we’ll get the kids off to school and then spend the day loving and being lazy. Or we’ll go do something that we want to do while it’s not as busy or crowded as it would be on the weekend. Hell, we may even let the mini people play hooky and include them for a day or social abandon.

Each day, we carve out time where we rid ourselves of our duties of being professionals (he's a Manager at his job and I'm a successful writer); parents, and focus on being two adults who love and care for each other. Yes, there are times when we fight and disagree, but we find ways to work it out and resolve our conflicts without hurting the other. I love you starts and ends each day as we know that nothing is promised and we have to take and live each day fully.

My parallel universe, is where I go when my real world tries to get the best of me. One of these days, this parallel universe will exist.

Love to live; live to love!

19 February 2009

mind dumping

I, too, am furious over the cartoon in the New York Post. I wish there was a way to say that this issue will blow over, but I highly doubt it. Racism is a long-standing issue in this country and as long as there are even just a few to fuel that fire, it will always be there. Yes, we elected a black president, which shows a progressive move by many Americans, but that doesn't mean other folk are happy about it. The sad reality is thatPresident Obama is going to be at the root of a lot more attacks like this one.

I was in Target the other night and saw two different white mothers snapping on their kids. Why did that amuse me? I think it's because I'm so used to seeing white mothers be rather and overly passive in terms of disciplining their children in public; if at all. I'm chuckling just thinking about it.

So, how is it that I had a Rx for 4 pills cost $7.34 and a 30-day supply cost me $0? I'm not necessarily complaining because that means my refills won't cost a thing, but it's still rather odd to me.

I'm not into Valentine's Day one iota, but how is it that when a dear friend asked if I'd be his Valentine, I was tickled by it?!

Jealousy and contempt for/of another is a pretty ugly thing, but when it comes from your own sister, that's unconscienable. Worse part, I haven't done jack to deserve it.

I sent a birthday card to one of my cousins for her birthday last month and from her reaction, you'd have thought I sent her a winning lottery ticket. See, folk, it's the simple things. A real card over a txt says a whole lot.

Lil Lady is the funniest kid I've probably ever encountered. She was telling me a story about her dad and another about her dog and I almost threw up in my mouth from laughing so hard. I love that kid!

I thought I'd hate Facebook, but I actually like it and check it almost daily.

I just had my first trip on 2009 and it was great. Nothing like 75-80 degrees when it's 33 back at home. The hotel was absolutely gorgeous and thanks to the hook up from my fave cuz, I got it for a friggin steal. Check out Wyndham Garden Hotel, Boca Raton, FL

I'm looking forward to the day when we, as a community, will stand up for something and stand together.

I think; actually, I know that we need to better educate our children on sex, sexual assault/abuse, and sexual respect. I'm saddened by the amount of young women and some boys who have no idea what the whole sexual thing is really about. So much so that we're leading many of the numbers for sexual abuse/sex crimes/STDs.

Mr. Toolbelt seems to have finally got the message that I don't want anything to do with him.

I'm still torn with Grandy, but seeing him recently did remind me how much I actually have missed him and how much I enjoy his company. I wonder how I'll feel in a few more months and another lengthy absense. *sigh*

An old college friend whom I shared a mutual attraction is digging me again and I really don't know how to handle it. I like him, but am not sure how I want to proceed with it. Damn those conflicted feelings!

I'm not a pill-popper for sport, but after conceding and now being on meds on a daily basis, I actually do feel better and more in control. It pays to be honest with yourself and your doctor.

I think it's funny that when someone has a baby and you get ga-ga over it, they say, "don't you wish you had another one?" Uhm? No! I'm one and done for a reason!!!

Speaking of babies, the newest addition to the family, Jadin; is gorgeous. He's a lighter version of his daddy.

And still speaking of kids, my godson will be 2 next month and the twins (other godchildren) will be 3 in May. Damn, it went fast!

In conclusion of kids, mine will be 17 this year. Now, that went quick! I still easily recall many of her younger days fondly.

I really want to see my fave brother this year. I'm praying that he'll get to come to visit me from London. I want to go home too!

Steve has been behaving badly...again, but I seem to have him in check. Thank goodness for the relief I got. *wink*

I really need some new music for my iPod, but I've been too lazy to research and download some.

I'm worried about a friend of mine and think I will finally ask her about some things. How can I call myself a friend, if I don't express my concern?!

I've been remiss in cooking lately, but I think I'll make up for it this weekend. Yes, you can come if you bring some wine. *smile*

Aiight folk, my lunchbreak is over so I gotta go. Have an amazing and blessed day y'all.

Love to live; live to love!

11 February 2009

Blu's Clues!

Have you ever looked at people and wondered how they're not getting it? You know; you give 'em that head tilt look like the RCA dog from back in the day and say in your head, "WTF? Are you really that dense?"

Well, here's a list of some signs that "Blu's really not into you..."

...I never cross the threshold of your cube when I engage in conversation with you

...I say things like, "it's easy for girls to be just friends with a guy"

...I, under a certain level of social duress, issue a hug where only my upper body is barely touching you and it's very brief

...have never complimented you on anything you've worn...ever!

...have called you out for needing to see your barber

...refuse to respond to your slick comments about my being "sexy, hot, etc..."

...laugh and say, "whatever" when you're trying to flirt with me

...have said repeatedly, "and you wonder why you're single?"

...have been considered "mean", though it's not really me being mean, I'm actually just being honest and you can't handle the truth

Well, that's all folks...no more to read here...have a great day!

Love to live; live to love!

09 February 2009

Lyrically Speaking - Worrisome Heart, Melody Gardot

This was a free download on iTunes back in April 2008 and I instantly fell for the misty blue, jazzy, meloncholy lyrics, but never really paid deep attention to the lyrics...until today.

I don't have a link for you to hear it, but I'm sure you can locate it online. Here's the lyrics to it and they speak pretty loudly to how I'm feeling of late...

I need a hand with my worrisome heart
I need a hand with my worrisome heart
I would be lucky to find me a man
Who could love me the way that I am
With this here worrisome heart
I need a break from my troubling ways
I need a break from my troubling ways
I would be lucky to find me a man
Who could love me the way that I am
With all my troubling ways
I need a man who got no baggage to claim
I need a man who got no baggage to claim
I would be lucky to find me a man
Who could love me the way that I am
A worrisome troubling baggage free modern day dame,
Said a worrisome troubling baggage free modern day dame
Ain't no body the same

07 February 2009

Left turn in Albuquerque

I "stole" that line from Bugs Bunny years ago and continue to use it because it makes some kind of perverse sense to me. I mean, who really goes to Albuquerque? And to have gotten there, you obviously had to have made a wrong turn right?! Well, I didn't bring you here to get a lesson in geography or my peculiar expressions; I'm simply feeling like I've made a wrong turn and am trying to get back on track.

I entered the dating world and while initially it seemed like something I would be able to do, I soon realized that I'd made a left turn in Albuquerque. I got off that road and then started back on my journey thinking that heading in another direction would yeild more favorable results. At first, I enjoyed the scenic route and thought that I was going in the right direction and then out of nowhere, here I encounter a detour and bam! I'm making yet another left turn; or at least it seems that way. I pull over on the Emotional Highway and sit at the Rest Area as I contemplate whether to continue on or make a u-turn and drive away as fast as I can.

While I'm sitting in the Rest Area, I start thinking about a love from my past and how I wished I'd had the courage and presense of mind to speak up and let him know how I felt because if I had, I might not be sitting in a Rest Area on Emotional Highway contemplating which way to go. I know we can never truly know what we would have done back then, but this is one of those occassions where I can be absolutely sure that had I; or even he, had been a little more forthcoming with our feelings I wouldn't even be writing this mess. I'd be happily married to a wonderful man who I loved and loved perfectly imperfect me in return.

Okay, so I know you're skeptical and I can't say I blame you, but I speak the truth. I absolutely know that with all my heart. How? Because I've spoken to him and every single feeling I had back then has resurfaced and then some. He's breathed new life into me and I feel like a child at Christmas because of him. Out of respect for him and his privacy, I won't divulge certain details, but the love I feel for him far outweighs any doubt that you may have. If you've ever loved with every fiber of your being, you'll know that you know what you know and trust your gut.

I'm not sure how long I'm going to be sitting in the Rest Area as I try to get my head and heart right/togetgher, but I'll stay for as long as it takes. There's a tow truck offering to pull me out of my rut and as nice as that is, I'm not sure that's the best course of action. I don't want to be on yet another detour or make another left turn. All I want is to be on the right road; heading in the right direction...is that really to much to ask for? Why can't I have it all dammit? I'm worth it!

Love to live; live to love!

06 February 2009

My Inner Self

In yesterday's comment, Ruthibelle asked why the Black Panther was a reflection of my inner self, (the pic I have on the right sidebar) so I've decided to explain...

Ever since I was a child, I knew what kind of personality I had...Feline! I'm the kind of person who can be very social, enjoy a certain amount of attention, and provide love and affection easily. On the other hand, I can withdraw and be content left to my own devices. I'm very independent, don't mind being alone and can fend for myself; however, can and will attack quickly and fiercely if provoked. Like a cat, I'll "hiss" at first to let you know you're entering into a danger zone and if the annoyance doesn't end, then I'll "bite or scratch" (verbally in the human case) and be done with it and the situation.

Of the many cats there are in existence, I feel I'm closely in keeping with Black Panthers...

"The Black panther is a rare, fearless, powerful and intelligent animal. It is one of the most aggressive and most feared animals in the world...Being symbols of power, courage, and leadership...Sometimes, animals are used to describe people’s personalities and characteristics. Black panthers are used to describe beautiful and courageous women. This is because black panthers are gentle and loving with their children, yet fearless in defending their families." (taken from Black Panther Animal)

The aforementioned description, does in large part describe the kind of person I am. I have two tattooes of Black Panthers; one is a panther in motion above my left ankle and one on my lower back of the head of a panther and its claws. It looks as if the head and claws are coming out of my back. I chose the latter because cats are stealthy and it represents my more dark side as if to say, "watch out if you mess with me!" The former is more delicate in appearance and I chose that one because it shows motion and I'm always on the move.

So, I hope that clarifies things for you Ruthibelle and anyone else who wondered, but didn't ask.

Love to live; live to love!

05 February 2009

on handling "Steve"...or not!

For those who haven't read Tuesday's post, I suggest you do so you can get acquainted with "Steve".

Well, this lil freaker almost got me in a world of crap with lil lady yesterday who wanted to have our t.v date while he wanted something else. What should have been an easy choice; watch t.v with lil lady turned into a battle of let's see how fast we can get one in. So, here I am in my room wearing nothing but a robe and panties battling with Steve.

Steve: C'mon Blu, you know how we do. We can get one in real quick.

Blu: But lil lady's downstairs and wants to watch t.v and it's her first night back home.

Steve: Yea, I know, but shit... I'm horny and we can have a quickie

Blu: Damn you! We can wait an hour or so right? You know she wants some quality time with me.

Steve: All this time you're wasting arguing, we coulda done this already.

Blu: Ugh! You're a fuggin mess and...oooh! Mmmm....*deep breathing*...

Steve: See, there you go...Come on dirty girl, you can do it...

Blu: ********!!!!!!********!!!!!!

Steve: Yea! See, there you go! Now that didn't take long did it?

Blu: *Deep breathe* Nah, but you ain't right for that shit.

Steve departs allowing Blu to clean up and go downstairst to watch t.v with the unsuspecting lil lady.

Readers...I' got problems for real!

Love to live; live to love!

04 February 2009

The Ploy

I swear I've got some kind of Spidey senses because after I posted yesterday, I got a gut feeling that Mr. Toolbelt would call me and you guessed it he did; this morning.
I was at the Dr.s office and my phone rang; well actually it spoke. I have a feature on my phone that announces who's calling. Good thing for me I don't have his number stored in my phone, or it would have sounded something like this, "call from The Stalker" or "call from The Asshole" or "Call from Bugaboo" or something else to that effect, which could have been either amusing or offensive to anyone in ear shot. Instead it announced, "call from 516-435-xxxx and I groaned in disbelief. The nurse, as she was drawing blood asked, "do you need to get that?" I furiously shook my head "no" and allowed her to continue on with her business.
Upon leaving the Dr.s office, I went to grab a bite to eat as I had to fast and by then was really hungry. I went back to work and saw the Message Waiting light on my phone flashing. I immediately thought, "I bet that )*%)*#_*^ already called me and left a message before calling my cell. I reluctantly listened to the message, but was pleasantly surprised to find it was someone I actually enjoy talking to. Figuring I might as well find out what the hell Mr. Toolbelt wanted (he'd left a message), I check my voice mail. He announces who he is (like I wouldn't recognize his voice) and then tells me that I have something of his and that I should call him about it. I chuckle. It's his ploy to get me to call him. I chuckle again.
I do in fact have his authentic Christian Dior sunglesses, which I've had since late August mind you. They look great on me and I honestly was going to keep them. *lol* Anyway, my chuckle now turns into full blown laughter because I think it's hilarious that all of a sudden he realizes that I have them and he wants them back. I guess he figures I'll call him back and then he can try and engage me in conversation...NOT! I'm too slick to get caught out there like that. So, here's how it's going to go down...
1...Find said sunglasses
2...Package them up
3...Address package to my cuz
4...Call her to let her know to expect a package from me and that she needs to give it to her b/f who's friends with Mr. Toolbelt and he can give them to him for me.
5...Aniticipate another phone call once he gets them back.
I've got a feeling I'll probably get another phone call before I even get the sunglasses in the mail, but unless he catches me at work, he won't hear my voice in his ear.
I swear, I just don't get folk, but I'm getting that some of them can be a form of perverse amusement for a twisted mind like mine. *hysterically LMBAO*
Love to live; live to love!

03 February 2009

errant sprinklings of jewel dust

Okay, i know i've not blogged in a few weeks and i honestly don't know why not. well, i do, but that's a story for another day. i'm doing well, living life, and am completely and absurdly happy. i feel blessed beyond measure and suffer fools gladly as they try to steal my joy or try to intrude in my life where they're not wanted.

the following are some errant thoughts and things that have happened of late:

so, Mr. Toolbelt comes out of nowhere to call me @ 4:30 AM; yes, i said AM and talks a whole bunch of f*ckery of which made no logical sense to me given that we haven't spoken in months. the ONLY reason i even answered the phone was because i thought he was someone else. damn, those very close area codes...516 BAD 561 good. the former is the Toolbelts area code; so now you understand the blurry eyed confusion. about 5 days post his inappropriate call, he takes to phone stalking me. yes...really! this 41 y/o man resorts to this juvenile behaviour thinking it's going to impress me...NOT!!! This goes on for about 4 days tallying a total of 18 calls between my cell and work phone and 2 txts with his number to call him back...to date i have not and will not. this was all so disturbing to me that i had to consult with Mr. Slish our resident relationship advisor and life coach to get his take on the situation. as expected, he provided great insight and suggested i blog the story because it; in spite of its foolishness is rather funny. we'll see!

that aside, i'm debating whether or not i should continue to see my current beau whom we'll call Grandy. he's got 9 years on me and has grands; hence, his moniker. he's a great guy and i enjoy his company and spending time with him, but there are a few things that are leaving room for pause and doubt. so now i'm evaluating things and will have to have "the talk" with him to make a final decision.

and i jumped back in the pool why? *sigh*

lil lady and i have the most amazing relationship. we can and do talk about anything and everything. it's amazing how much she's grown and developed in the past year. we totally enjoy sharing time together and doing things; even if it's nothing more than a tv date night. parenting; though stressful at times; truly can be a fantastic experience. i'm loving it!

i finally updated my Facebook profile; posted my gov't name and have connected with some high school and college peeps and have even got some bloggers on my Friends List. i hope i'm better at this than i was on MySpace.

let me tell you about Steve. he's the 18 y/o libido that lives inside of me and he's one horny lil freaker. this is definitely a TMI moment, but indulge me if you will...since both turning 40, coming out of celibacy (after 2yrs), and just being at complete peace with myself, i finally WANT to have sex. and to make matters worse, my drive is like that of an 18 y/o boy; hence, why i actually named my libido. it's really scary how often i think about sex or want to have it. it's fortunate that i'm not the "sleep around" kind of gal or they'd be some broke men out there after i got done with them. i'm trying to take some control over Steve, but that lil freaker is strong and puts up a good damn fight for independence. i won't further ask you to indulge in any more TMI rantings, so we'll end here with this topic.

work is great! how many people can actually say that and mean it? i have a job that is only a 20 minute commute; i work 4 ten-hour days; giving me Friday's off and where necessary, i can flip my schedule. i enjoy the work i do, accept the challenges, and work with a great group of people. i can go home each day knowing i've accomplished something and that my work does not go unnoticed.

as i said in the opening of this post, i'm absurdly happy. in fact, this is the happiest i've been in years. i think; no, i know that it's because i refuse to accept drama in my life. i live my mantra love to live; live to love each day. i pray, meditate, and give thanks each and every day for my life and health. i find the beauty in each day even then things can and do go wrong. i don't dwell on what i don't have because there's plenty that i do have. i'm infinitely and divinely at peace.

i'm taking my first trip of 2009 next week to spend some time with friends/family and i can't wait.

for those who haven't seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; should. it's a great movie with a great story line and promotes many positive messages. what i learnt the most was...life is a series of opportunities missed or taken. i probably didn't quote it exactly, but i know i am close. i choose to take as many opportunities as i can and enjoy them. i want to have quantity of life and have amazing memories in the process.

well, i better get some work done. have a fantastic day and may blessings be upon each of you.

love to live; live to love!