29 November 2007

ode to my fellow bloggers

In my view from the cheap seats, I see through my eyes and I am inspired to write for life because the confessions of an everyday woman are conveyed through my stream of consciousness. The thoughts in my blue state of mind are poured out as I discuss miscellaneous matters and give you the fackin truth; no filters no filler. But sometimes I have to make a note to self to slow it down and take a sojourner to get some eclectik relaxation and reflect at the golden time of day in order not to lose and yell, o hell nawl when stuff gets to me. A trip to the Mistress Lounge has been a good place to clear my head and take the edge off. I’ve gotta be careful though because she’s got some risqué stuff in there that could lead me to some that could cause me to want to participate in some lovers anonymous acts. But then I realize that I’m more drawn to words, which leads me to being lyrically yours and that’s more stimulating to this Urban Butterfly.

Though my world is still crazy at least the jail in which I sometimes dwell is minus the bars, I find myself sometimes living the butterfli effect trying to figure out if life through my eyes is really as it presents itself to be. Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like to be Hoodoo’ed and act with miss(ed) manners just to get a reaction out of people. But I thought that someone might tell Aunt Jackie and I’d get in trouble. And depending on what I’d done, I might have to PostSecret just to get it out of my system; though I think I could tell Mr. Slish cause he’d like to hear me cleansing my thoughts.

In my travels, I often end up in the electronic village where my mind is stimulated and feed, but sometimes I need it Raw Dawg in order to have it broken down into the ghetto economics that I understand. The indigo trails of my thoughts are sometimes interrupted by Yazmars breakthrough and then like magic; zuri she wrote and I’m back to life in the chocolate city and I’m no longer beyond mere words. It’s then that I’m back to the rich house, proud to be a black man’s daughter and saying
I think to myself what a wonderful world.

28 November 2007

Are we any safer?

I was reading a post over at Rosemarie's spot and it brought to light something I've given great thought on, but never really spoke much on in mixed company. I like to travel and travel as often as I can by plane. Since the 9/11 tragedy, taxes and surcharges have been imposed for "safety and precautionary" reasons. In reality, there is no real need for these taxes as all it does for the most part is continue to fiscally rape the consumer. As I said at Rose's spot, I feel no safer now than prior to 9/11. I travelled to Vegas a couple years ago with a folding box cutter in my backpack, which was screened. It was unintentional on my part, but it goes to show that things slip through the crack.

A traveler is inconvenienced more often than not when they travel because they are all but strip searched when they clear security; are forced to report to the airport hours before their flights (to be searched); and the former sense of security of having a family member or friend sit with you before your flight departs has been ripped from us. I, for one, used to love having someone sit with me and then watch me board safely. What about that level of homeland security?

How about not allowing me to bring my 16 ounce bottle of Poland Spring through the "security" line, but force me to buy the same bottle on the other side for twice what I paid for the one I had? How the hell is that even fair, make sense, or make me feel secure? Simply put, it doesn't. While I know and feel that 9/11 was a tragedy of gargantuan proportions, fiscally raping consumers and lying to them that their security and safety is being safeguarded is a crock of shit and a tragedy in and of itself. Did you know that there are pilots who have not had their required amount of rest prior to flying, flying you to destination? Thank God that you arrived without incident. Are you aware that there are as many ways and means as there are plots and schemes to cause harm to someone in a confined space? Not giving a passenger the entire can of soda is a major rip off considering how much money was spent of the ticket in the first place and when you remove the ice from the cup, you're now only getting about two ounces of said beverage in the four ounce cup anyway. What kind of bull crap is that; especially when you're flying damn near across the country? Hell, that in itself will piss a person off and make them want to haul off and smack someone.

I'm appalled at the tactics being used to perpetrate the fraud called Homeland Security and the Patriot Act. It doesn't' take rocket science for one to know that the government and its respective agencies are the biggest terrorists and criminals out there. Check the many scenes in American Gangster where the cops were shaking down drug dealers, cutting the product, and then reselling it. How how they'd steal money instead of turning it in, and then shun the honest cop for doing his job. It's appalling to say the least, that those in positions to protect and serve; rob and steal. But then again, this is a nation that was founded on robbing, rape, and pillage. I don't mean to offend those who truly believe in trust, justice, and the American way, but it is a fact and it's also become a way of life.

Arms are being sold on the black market each and every day to guerillas in South America, war lords in Sierra Leone, and on the streets in major cities across the U.S. Naturally, the types of arms being sold aren't your average garden variety kind, but those issued by the U.S military/government. Check out the movie Lord of War, which will enlighten you as to some little known facts about our illustrious government.

I could go on and on about this subject for days, but I digress. We as a people need to be aware of what it's truly costing us to be "safe". We need to recognize that the (in)Justice Department is very selective about whom they protect and serve. The so-called terrorists that threaten the sanctity of this nation are mostly not from an international source. The arms and drugs that reach the streets in whomever's neighborhood were sourced and/or provided by those who don't have a problem with watching people commit crimes in their respective neighborhoods.

In order to create a safe and secure nation, we must feel safe and secure with those appointed to make nationwide decisons with the best interest of the nation in mind and not their own. Seeing as we know that's not or unlikely to happen, we must educate ourselves on our respective rights; protect ourselves; and remain dilligent about the things happening around us like by finding out notifications are being sent out informing people that cameras are being installed in your neighborhood for example.

27 November 2007

who I am

As I think of what goes through ones mind when they're asked to describe themselves for the opposite sex, I'm often stumped as to what seems like the appropriate things to say. I know I'm articulate, intelligent, witty, assertive; to name a few, but those are pretty obvious and self-explanatory once you've gotten to know me.

I then think about the many personality quizes that are out there and that's where the fun begins. I wonder who comes up with them, how they create the (sometimes dumb) questions to be quizzed on, and who determines the personality. The assessments are sometimes spot on and other times, they're rather off kilter and I guess that's because one is left to chose the "lesser of all evils" answer to complete the quiz.

Well, this morning, I took a quiz to determine how sexy I am and the following is the result of it:

You Are Independent Sexy
You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act"Except, it's really not an act at all.You're a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests.And that makes men even more interested in you!

In this instance, the results were pretty spot on; though I don't necessarily consider myself "hard to get". I'd say, I'm selective, which results from me being assertive and not settling. I thought the results amusing to say the least.

I'd like to create a quiz of sorts to get how others perceive me...now that would be one interesting quiz *lol*

Have a great day y'all!


21 November 2007

With thanks & giving

Thanks to...

To my Lord and Savior because without Him, there'd be no me
For the faith that keeps me going
Those who've trusted me as Auntie to their children
A mother whom I'm now close to again
For those who are or die
Those who know how to keep it REAL
To all of you who come by, read, and leave comments. You all inspire me
For the blogs I read regularly and those I happen upon
For bad dates to keep me assertive

To whom I gave...
Those lives I've touched in a positive way
The many area families who'll have a Thanksgiving meal
The children I'm Godmother to
The a-holes who thought they could break me...ya didn't!
I'm in your life for a reason
Knowledge is power

20 November 2007

Acts of kindness!

Today I volunteered to prepare and serve food at the local Rescue Mission. It was a community service event that I was anxious to participate in because I enjoy giving back and helping others. While there, I saw a man I recognized from having been at my church and when asked, he confirmed that he’d been there and was looking forward to returning. We spoke about the former and current pastors and how he loved the church. From that point on, my day was filled with such joy.

Along with some coworkers, we donated a van filled with food in addition to some clothing items for the residents and those who pass through the Rescue Mission. We prepared food that would be served later in the week and served about 200 meals for lunch. It was such a joy to see people have somewhere to go and enjoy a hot meal and rest for a little while.

Many of those who came through thanked us and extended God’s blessings for volunteering. My heart was so full because I wasn’t expecting such a warm reception. In addition, it showed that they didn’t take their meals for granted as many of us do in our daily lives.

Ladies and gentleman, my cup runneth over with knowing I made a difference and I look forward to my next opportunity at being a good servant of the Lord.

Thanksgiving likes/dislikes…

Family togetherness
Giving back to others in need
Fried turkey
Making cranberry relish
7-Up pound cake

Family togetherness (the fakeness)
Disadvantaged people
Too much food
Cameo appearances (house hopping)
6+ft lawn ornaments
Hearing Christmas music in stores

19 November 2007

Love, Hope, Charity!

Each year I participate in my company’s annual Thanksgiving food drive. I help collect food, purchase food to donate, and box/deliver the food to needy families in the area. It breaks my heart each year that we even need to do this. Why? Because in a country as rich as this, we have so much hardship and famine. We have so much money being wasted on bullshit items that the government spends millions of dollars on, but it won’t help a family feed itself. Billions of dollars is being wasted on this so-called war and we can’t take care of the veteran’s when they come back. It’s a shame that so many have to rely on the kindness of strangers to help feed and house them.

I participate in these drives because it feels good and because it means something to me to give to those less fortunate than me. I recall when I was an unemployed single parent and how I struggled to make ends meet. I was fortunate that I was educated and resourceful enough to do it; however, there are those who aren’t and need assistance. For the many trials I’ve triumphed through and those who helped me along the way, gives me additional reasons to want to help others. I could have very easily have been the woman unable to have a celebratory dinner, wear a gently worn coat, or have toys for her child at Christmas.

I’m more than thankful for being able to overcome the odds, to have had kind people in my life, and to be in a position where I can help someone else. I do not reserve my giving to just Thanksgiving or Christmas. I give as often as I can to whomever I can. When I stay at hotels, I save the soaps and such and donate them to the military so the troops can have additional supplies. Or I donate to women’s shelters for the woman who had to pack up and leave an abusive home. I give clothes and shoes to the Covenant House so those there can have. I’m willing to give up going out to lunch or dinner and give that money to a good cause.

Each day is cause for thanksgiving because we have so much to be thankful for. I think we all need to look deep within ourselves and consider what we are truly thankful for and make it last for more than a couple of months. Check out places in your respective areas and see if you can offer your hand to cook or serve the homeless; adopt a family and provide small services for them; donate whatever time or money you can spare for a child in need. Charity begins at home. What kind of house are you living in?

15 November 2007

Thursday Thoughts...

I “stole” this idea from Don

Top Ten Likes & Dislikes

1. My faith in God & sharing it with others
2. Engaging conversation
3. Music that speaks when I can’t
4. Cooking
5. Pushing myself to full potential
6. Positive energy/vibes
7. The art of simple pleasures
8. Intimacy
9. Being me and not seeking approval for it
10. Overcoming adversity

1. Unrealistic expectations
2. Meaningless things/experiences (to include sex/people)
3. Intolerance
4. Rude, mannerless, and undisciplined children (to include their parents)
5. People who over share (TMI)
6. Weak men/women
7. People who complain and refuse to find solutions
8. Double standards
9. The inability to communicate effectively
10. Crimes against children

14 November 2007

Blu Jewel PSA #3

I don’t want to turn this post into a male bashing one, but I may not be able to help myself. Now, I’m not going to suggest that all my bruthas are this way, but from what I’ve seen and experienced lately, it seems like a great number need a refresher course on chivalry and gentleman like behavior.

Let me start with the guy who pushed his way through the door when I was clearly there before him and when I said, “excuse you”, he just huffed and continued on. Meanwhile, shortly thereafter I was leaving the store and a white man held the door for me. While walking into the plantation, a white man held the door even though I was a fair distance from it, greeted me with a pleasant smile, and wished me a good day. A few days thereafter, a guy who’s clearly seen and spoken to me on several occasions, refused to hold the door for me as I struggled with two bags and a cup of coffee. I was like “WTF?” On my date a couple weekends ago, I noticed I was walking on the outside of the street, brought it to his attention, and he said, “well, there’s no cars coming.” WTF? Again! First of all, he should’ve have been aware of his presence and acted accordingly and when it was brought to his attention, he should have simply said, “my bad” and corrected himself.

What’s really going on these days? Are women no longer worthy of being treated well or like ladies? Would these very same men be pissed if someone treated their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, or sisters in the same fashion they’re treating women? I highly doubt it. It’s a sad state of affairs when chivalry 101 isn’t being acted upon.

As a mother, I never let my child walk on the outside of the street or trail behind me. It’s my role as a mother to be protective, just as I feel it’s a man’s role to be that way toward children.

I’d hate to think that “we” have lost touch with the simple things in life and forgotten how to just be polite in the most general of ways. Conversely, I have had instances where I’ve been treated with the respect and chivalry I deserve and always extend the appropriate and applicable courtesies.

Ladies and gentlemen we must teach our children the foundation of good manners, courtesy, and appropriate male/female exchange. We must reinforce the value and importance of treating each other well and not allow common courtesy and decency to fall by the wayside. This past weekend, I saw my cousin teaching his little brother the basics of how to treat a young lady and it was impressive to see how he educated him on the importance being a good young man and doing the right thing.

I think we all need to do more to exact the basics of human kindness and polite exchange. And when we have a negative experience with someone, I think we should find ways to bring it to their attention in hopes of bettering them for the next time. We can not and should not condone or make excuses for poor behavior and the ill treatment of others.

Each one; teach one and pay it forward!

13 November 2007

Weekend Happs!

Needing a little get away, I took lil lady and went to ATL for a long weekend. We have fam there, which made being there even more fun. We did the usual things, like shop, eat, walk around etc.

How come I paid $5 to park for 40 minutes while at Gladys and Ron's Chicken and Waffles? That mess ticked me off royal; especially after being jipped for street parking when the meter stole my money and only gave me 15 minutes on the meter.

Now, I'm not trying to brag, but lil lady is frikkin beautiful and has a cute, petite body. (for security reasons, I can't post a pic of her) We're walking around downtown Atlanta and I see GROWN ASS MEN looking at her like she's their next snack.

As much as I don't like it, I've gotten used to men staring at her, but when I realize how they're looking at her, it sickens me because you can see that she's a kid. Sometimes she's oblivious to it and other times I see her roll her eyes or blush. I can't control people looking at her, but damn, is it that serious that a grown man looks at her, licks his lips, and says, "dayum!"
That aside, I couldn't help but notice how adult men are still dressing like teenagers and then get mad when they're not taken seriously. I mean, how can you roll up on me and expect me to respond to, "aye bay-bay or you lookin real gud in dem jeans shawty!" When I look at them cross-eyed like, "are you serious?" They get offended. Aren't adults supposed to carry themselves accordingly or did I miss the memo on that? I'm far from bougie, but I'll be damned if I allow that kind of interaction when I'm carrying myself very much like the lady I am.

It's gets better...So, we're at the club and if I say so myself, I'm looking rather cute in my fitted jeans, nice top, and hella sexy 4 inch peep toe, stilettos.

All I see around me are these bustas in fitted hats, oversized clothes, sunglasses, hanging off the ass jeans; posted up like they're the hottest things since testosterone. I could have choked when dude with his grillz tried to holla. I'm not sure what kind of women they're used to dealing, but I sure as hell wasn't it. And don't even get me started on the chicks (sorry, but they were anything but ladies). I saw a couple of girls who were at least a size 16 in size 8 coochie cutter shorts and under sized tops, in high heels parading around. It was cold outside and they were strutting around like there were in South Beach. I saw a black Barbie who was wearing a sequined tank top as a dress and was upset when the guys were pointing to here and making comments. Hell, she came out the house looking like she was selling something so what did she expect? I know this kind of dress isn't only a southern thing, but I saw some things and outfits that I'm yet to see up north. There were a few classy dressed men and women in the club, but they were the exception and I'm sure they felt as out of place as I did there.

For anyone in ATL, my cousin DJ Redd, is a DJ on Hot 107.9. I'm not sure of his entire air time, but you can look it up. He had me do some drops for his shows and I'll be featured on his upcoming mix CD.

And for those in need of a photographer, my brother does great photography.

07 November 2007


I have a male BFF and I love him to death. He's been traveling for work a lot lately, so I hadn't seen him for a couple of months. Yesterday, we met for lunch and although I knew I missed him; seeing him really made it sink in. We hugged and exchanged the usual crazy banter that exists between us. I wanted to know about his latest exploits, what he did while away (and with whom), and when he'd actually be home for a stretch.

He gave me my overdue birthday card, which was beautiful, an AMEX gift card to get myself whatever I wanted, I dished about my weekend; of which he found amusing (in that, dude's a busta kind of way). Anyhoo, I started bitchin and whinin about how he hasn't been keeping in touch with me while he's on the road and how I've given up trying to keep in touch during said times. Then, out of nowhere he pulls out this small white box and puts in on the table. I'm like, "what's that?". He says, "open it and see". I do. It's a beautiful pair of Hematite dangly earrings. I went to mush and put them on immediately. (I love Hematite jewelry). He added, "they can match the necklace I got you". Still all mushy and feeling like a scrub, I give him a big old hug in the middle of Saladworks and thank him profusely. He told me that just because he's not in touch, doesn't mean he's not thinking about me. How frikkin cool is that?

We have our moments, I've got a great male BFF and I wouldn't trade him for the world and isn't that what friendship is all about? Yesterday he proved just how much our friendship means to him. I'm floored.

Ladies, do you have a male BFF? Men, do you have a female BFF?

06 November 2007


In spite of my recent misfortune this past weekend, I remain undeterred from continuing to date and exploring my options. I refuse to allow the errant ways of one man to take away any of the many positive attributes I possess. When I initially posted the blog about the experience, I thought I might be acting mean or rude, but I really don’t think I was. I felt that I was sharing an experience and looking for insight regarding it. I additionally think by sharing both positive and negative experiences in dating and relationships that we can better ourselves and find ways to improve instead of being subject to constant misgivings and misfortunes.

I was disappointed with the weekend not going as well as I’d hoped and thought it would, but I’m not bitter or angry. I’ll just put him in a category as Mr. Slish nicely stated in his comment on the situation seeing as what may not be acceptable to me may very well be cool for someone else. I must stand by my principles (as I did) and not settle because I’m a woman of a certain age or feel that my options are limited. They are so not! I’m a young, vibrant, intelligent, assertive (to name a few) woman who’s worked hard to be the best woman she can be and will not reduce herself to accepting actions that aren’t conducive to my character or social/emotional well-being. While it’s true that there are many women 40 and over who are having a hard time dating or getting into a relationship, I don’t consider myself one of them. I will not take up with a less than stellar (by my standards) man because I feel lonely, deprived, or sexually withdrawn. I'm happy with myself, my life, and direction it's heading in. The only detours I'll take are the ones that are going to be truly worth the journey. God made me a 'jewel' for a reason.

I’ll continue to put my rod in the water and even though I may pull out one that needs to be thrown back, I’m sure I’ll get the catch of the day when the time is right.

Thanks for all the comments from my previously post. It was great to get the feedback; especially from the men.

05 November 2007

dEaL bReAkErS

How does one go from meeting someone; having great conversations via phone, email, and text; developing a great vibe, a seemingly good connection; and then spend time with that person and say, “WTF happened?”

Well, I’m trying to figure that out myself. Without putting said person on blast (too much), I’ll try to be as polite as I can be. I’ll form a list of sorts of things I found to be deal breakers.

Girl buys first round of drinks. After drinks are over, he does not ask if girl wants another drink.

Girl is considered a strong, independent, and assertive person, which was said to be a very attractive quality, and then some how gets lumped into the “typical woman” category and endures the tirade of men vs. women issues.

Boy plays himself up to be Mr. Worldly and socially conscious and then announces, he’s homophobic, and my gay friends wouldn’t be warmly received (read: don’t bring them around me). Artists (painters, sculptors, and writers, etc.) have issues or are sick. This I have to explain…Painters and sculptors who create obscure pieces are sick. Why? Because he feels that the painter or sculptor has some deep issues or repressed problems that are being manifested in their works. Writers (according to him) follow a like way of being. If someone writes about sex/erotica, then they can be considered highly sexed or sexually deviant. Conversely he contradicts himself by saying it’s an expression of how one feels at the time; while never considering that many writers are or can write on demand. Furthermore, writing is CREATIVE and allows one to stretch the framework of their mind in order to magnify their writing capabilities.

Boy seems to have a black/white way of thinking without considering the shades of grey.

Considers himself to be romantic, yet says/does things to focus the attention on himself and/or fish for compliments.

Boy tells girl she’s a great person; a little rough around the edges, but with smoothing would be perfect.

Boy has a chauvinistic attitude and when challenged tries to play it off by saying, “I was just playing”.

Boys alleges to be all man, but his game is like Swiss cheese.

Okay, so now you have a cliff note version of some of the things I endured and now you can put your two cents in.