31 July 2007


I had no idea what I was going to post or if I was going to post; until I came across the following. It says so much and is filled with so much hope and inspiration that I would have been remiss in not sharing it.


Waves of now
The problems may be great, yet your ability to successfully deal with them is greater. Each disappointment can be painful, and yet through that pain you are compelled to grow stronger and more capable.
Life goes on, and each moment brings new positive possibilities. You live, you learn, you experience, and through it all you become more fully alive than ever.

You have carried with you to this moment all the joy and beauty you've ever known. Now you are in a position to discover and to fulfill even more.

Seek not to fight against what is. For within what is, the very real opportunity exists for precisely what you wish to be.

In whatever may come your way, you can find the energy and substance to bring your own dreams to life. Run eagerly to greet each moment, for in each moment is the opportunity to fully live.

Life's sparkling treasure rolls in on endless waves of now. Appreciate the depth and the vastness of that treasure, and it is yours.

-- Ralph Marston

30 July 2007

dumb women!

"The only thing that frightens me is a weak woman" - Salma Hayek

I agree with her wholeheartedly because we are indeed some strong people and have exacted strength even at our weakest moments. I once said, "a man will never truly know or understand the strenght of a woman" and I stand behind that.

But I do have to admit there are some pretty weak and messed up women out there and I'd like to go toe to toe with a few of them. Why? I'll tell ya....

After having watched "Daddy's Little Girls" for the 3rd time within a week, I couldn't help but want to reach through the tv and beat the stank off the "baby mama" character. Folk, chick ran me so hot that I can't even remember her name for the post. Anyhoo, her name is irrelavent, but her position isn't.

In the name of everything holy, how and why does a woman birth 3 children, pawn them off on her mother to raise, and take up with some low-life because of his status? Does she have no shame? (rhetorical). Though the movie is fictional, one can't help but know that it's truly not. There are plenty of women who do this. They pawn their children off so they can run the streets, maintain their youth, or conduct themselves in less that maternal ways for a dude. What's worse is to demean the father of the children when he is doing right by them.

As not to tell the movie, I'll leave it at that, but it doesn't end my thought process.

I'm currently aware of a grown man who due to some faults of his own lives with his parents. He works and tries to uplift himself and I commend him for that. I further commend that he has sole custody of his eldest daughter whom also resides with him and his parents. He does not shun his role off to his parents, nor does he do things to compromise her life in favor of his own amusements. For the sake of this post, we'll call him Stan. Stan also has another daughter whom spends more time with him than her mother. He treats her with the same love, care, and paternal guidance as his oldest daughter. Her mother gets child support, though never spends time with their daughter, nor does she spend the money wisely on the child. She has all but abandoned the girl, yet makes demands for financial increases and a dumb ass judge awarded it.

Now, please tell me how that even makes sense? She doesn't care for or support the child. She spends little or no time with her, and treats not just child, but the father with little or no respect. In instances like this where the father is doing everything in his power to raise his children up right, a judge knocks him down and we wonder why some parents kidnap their childrem or don't pay child support at all. I give Stan credit for doing everything he can to raise his daughters without relying heavily on his mother outside of being a female role model and influence. I commend Stan for loving his daughters enough to have them and care for them. What I fault is the mothers who abandoned them and them make financial demands for them.

I'd like to speak to some of the judges who treat caring fathers so badly and force them, and ultimately the child(ren) to suffer for their ill-made decision. In a society where so many men do not act appropriately with their children, I can't understand why the ones that do are given the short end of the stick. Strip these so-called mothers of their parental (lack thereof) rights and allow the child to grow in a safe environment where they are loved and properly cared for without fear of a scandalous parent showing up when they feel like it. Furthermore, support the fathers who are doing right by their children.

This truly makes me wanna holla!

25 July 2007

Whatcha know about me?

I've been tagged by the Meme blog monster! *sacastic yay* I really don't want to do this, but since others have participated and put some of their business on blast, I guess I can reciprocate in kind. LOL I have to post the rules so here goes...

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


1) I'm not particularly fond of Meme's. I figure, if I want you to know something about me, I'll just tell you. I dislike doing things under "duress".

2) I'm a PostSecret junkie. The first thing I do when I go downstairs on a Sunday morning is to read the posts. I've experienced a myriad of emotions while reading the secrets and have considered submitting my own, but haven't.

3) For the longest time, people thought I was an only child. I have siblings, but seeing as I was either estranged from some of them or simply didn't like said sibling, I never spoke of them; thus giving the impression I was an only. It's changed over the years though.

4) I've studied 4 foreign languages; received good grades in each, and yet speak none of them with any frequency or fluency except Enlgish. I can still read, write and comprehend in French and Spanish. I know virtually no Russian; and I can read, but comprehend only a little German.

5) I once scared my now ex-husband so bad that he wouldn't eat or drink anything I'd prepared for about two weeks.

6) I love to travel and have been doing it since I was a child with or without company. I thoroughly enjoy going to new places, experiencing new cultures/people, and would love to go somewhere new at least once a month.

7) I knew I was having a girl the moment I found out I was pregnant and named her when I heard her heartbeat for the first time.

8) I've come to realize that Love is the most common; yet elusive emotion of all. I'm both awed and terrified of it.

I know take on the daunting task of tagging the following....

Paula D
HooDoo Princess

24 July 2007

Blu Jewel PSA #2: If you want out, get out!

Okay, boys and girls class is in session; so sharpen your pencils, make sure there's ink in your pens, or your fingers are tapping the keyboards to take notes...Let's begin!

So, you're in a relationship you don't want to be in and you say you want to leave; do you keep having sex with the person? Survey says, no! The last thing you need to do is send mixed signals about your intentions and you certainly aren't making the break up any easier by allowing that person to think you might change your mind. Now, with that thought in mind, can someone please tell me why a man in this situation would not only keep sleeping with the girl he wants to get away from and not only was he still sleeping with her; she's now pregnant!

I know. I know! You're probably saying to yourselves, "what an idiot!" Yes, boys and girls, he's an idiot and one that will now be attached to a woman for the rest of his life. To make matters worse, the girl is not someone with whom he'd prefer to be attached to; hence why he wanted out. In addition, she's of less than stellar social attributes (read chickenhead). She's 6-7 years his senior and already has a teenaged child. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing the girl; in fact this isn't really about her. This is a lesson in thinking with the right head; at the right time; and doing the right thing.

We'll call him Frank. Frank alleged he wanted to end the relationship because it wasn't working and it wasn't what he wanted. He's still young, getting his life together, and not ready for a child, but his error in judgment is now going to leave him with a woman he'd rather not deal with and a child he's ill-prepared for. He alleged proximity to his job is why he continued to stay with her instead of staying with his boy; however, lack of planning and foresight was a part of the problem. Franks additional mistakes were 1) prematurely jumping into a relationship; 2) moving in with her in her place; and 3) not protecting himself during his mixed signals.

Lesson learned...if you say you want to end a relationship; end it. Make provisions to take care of yourself and move on. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT continue sleeping with the person and if you do so, make you're protected.

Have a plan If you don't have a plan, random circumstances will make one for you. And you probably won't like it much.

Decide what you would like and go for it. Success is no more complicated than that.
The energy and time you spend can either bring you toward your dreams or it can keep you in the service of someone else's dream. Choose to follow your own dreams.

Explore your own most deeply held values and purposes. Decide precisely how you would like your world and your life to be.

The most dismal failures are not caused by the inability to reach a goal. Those failures are the result of not having a clear enough and meaningful enough goal.

Know exactly where you intend to go, and you're much more likely to get there. Have a plan, follow it with persistence, and enjoy being where you sincerely choose to be.
-- Ralph Marston

23 July 2007

Blu Jewel PSA #1 – Knowing your playa quotient

As many know there’s a lot to be said about getting your game on; your creep on; you’re sexual prowess; and the like. Many think they have what it takes to successfully achieve the aforementioned, but self-praise is no guarantee of your capabilities; well unless your game is just that tight!

Here’s a few things that I know are essential to getting and keeping yourself in the game and not find yourself assed out and in a world of hurt.

PROBLEM – Standards…The person with whom you’re creeping with must have something to lose in the situation too.
SUGGESTION – Know a little more than their name, they look good, or have good freak potential. Keep your jump off at some distance so you’re not “bumping” into each other unnecessarily. Don’t overly reveal too much about your personal life; spouse; or S.O. Over sharing can be used against you.

PROBLEM - The Underwear Factor…If you’re creeping, the last thing you want to do is go home in soiled undies or in a color that you didn’t leave home in.
SUGGESTION - Get in the habit of wearing the same color/style as it safely prevents you from being found out. If the creep is a regular activity, leave undies as your jump-offs spot.

PROBLEM - The Scent Factor…Chances are you’ll want to clean up/shower after the deed is done and as not to draw attention to yourself by smelling a little too fresh and clean you have to exact some additional common sense practices.
SUGGESTION – As with leaving undies at the creep spot; leave the same scented lotion, perfume or colognes at their house. If that’s not possible, carry trial sizes of said products. Of to play it additionally safe, use unscented products or don’t wear a scent that day if you know you’re getting together.

PROBLEM – Talking Too Much…Yeah, “Roni/Tyrone” has some good ish with them, but your girl/boy doesn’t need to know or know everything/every detail.
SUGGESTION – Resist the urge to reveal and if you have to, make sure who you tell has as much or more so to lose as you. Also, is Roni tells Lisa or Tyrone tells Jordan that old girl/boy is working with something extra good, she/he could potentially tempt their friend to wanna sample the goodies.

PROBLEM – Alibi…If you’re married or living with someone, the last thing you should be doing is bringing your jump-off to the crib. Or if your bf/gf has a key to your crib and they may show up at anytime.
SUGGESTION – Find a cheap but decent hotel/motel to get your creep on at or if you’re really cool with a single friend who has an extra room, maybe you could use it. Remember said person has to be able to keep your secret. Most importantly, whomever is covering your back, make sure they’re completing in sync with the coverup.

PROBLEM – Needing to communicate during “off” hours....
SUGGESTION – If you have to call him/her block your number and their “other” answers, relax, be confident, and ask for a person of the same sex as the caller. This usually throws the person off. I know said limit who you tell, but in certain instances, you may need someone to intervene on your behalf. On said occasions, ensure that said person’s name has already been established so they’re not caught off guard. Furthermore, establish a word code to let each other know it’s safe to speak.

PROBLEM – Blurring the Line…Either you or the jump off is acting like feelings are being caught.
SUGGESTION – Talk it out if you can and if not, end that ish before it gets real messy. Hopefully, this will go off without incident. Remember Fatal Attraction is VERY real.

PROBLEM – Birth Control…This shouldn’t even be a problem. This is a MANDATORY part of the game. STDs or pregnancy should NOT be able to factor into what you’re doing. The last thing you need is to go home with something you didn't leave with.
SUGGESTION – Ladies, make sure you have your OWN method of BC and ensure he’s wearing a condom. Men, BRING YOUR OWN condoms. Sorry ladies, you know how shady we can get and a hole in a condom could yield more than just a pregnancy.

Okay boys and girls, don’t say you haven’t been learned…lol!

19 July 2007

things that make me say, "what da?"

H.G.Ms (Hot Ghetto Messes) that swear up and down they're the cutest, sexiest, trendiest, things alive. I particularly hate BET for even having a show portraying them.

F.Gs (Flaming Queens) dont get me wrong, i have no beef with gay men, but those that are so "extra" in EVERYTHING they do kills me.

MySpace fiends! I mean is it really THAT serious? I've heard of people "stalking" other people's pages, fussing over who's in the "Top Friends" lists, calling or cussing folk out, and whatnot! Get a damn life already.

Y&R...Okay, can someone please tell me how a women (Carmen Mesta) gets killed, a lookalike comes to town, leaves, and we still don't know the significance of her role and her interaction with David Chow. Or how does Victor let Nikki troll ass slide for kissing David and publically humiliating him? Amber! Need I say more?

Fake people...what purpose do they serve? If we don't talk or interact, what gives you the right to come up to me and try to be all in my biz? Or the ones that say/do this or that and then act all innocent about their game. *ugh*

Stop touching me!!! Now this is a super peeve of mine. If I'm at the club and we're dancing, what gives dude the right to think he can just start touching me? I said we could dance NOT get intimate. *sheesh* Also on that note, why is it when you're passing me, that you need to touch me in the process? AARRGGHH! Talk about make me wanna back hand someone.

I know I have an accent, but dammit it's not that hard to figure out I'm saying, Ranch (pronounced RARNCH) and not French for my dressing?

If the left lane is a passing lane, why do some folk sit it in doing the speedlimit and cars in the right lane are speeding by?

Fashion faux pas...Do you know have a mirror? Do you not realize those colors don't match? Do you not realize you're a size 20 and the outfit you have on is for a size 12? There are waistband on jeans for a reason...why do you have on a belt and the pants still sag to the bottom of your ass? Air Force 1's or Tims with every outfit is NOT cute.

Why are dogs allowed to sit in the front seat while the driver is driving? Also, why are they allowed to jump all around and be a distraction, but kids have to be restrained?

How come I'm having a hard time figuring out the gender of some teen girls, I mean boys, no, girls? Aww hell, I'm confused...what's your name kid? If water and food are necessities in life, how come they're so damn expensive? I see fat couples and wonder if they have a sex life...Cringing!

Teenage girls always walking around with a scowl on their faces looking mean and old.

People thinking that everyone wants them.

Why would you call someone after midnight and ask them if they're up knowing they get up before 6:00am?

Reading blogs with suggestive content or listening to songs that eff with your libido.

18 July 2007

friend, can you spare the time?

I read this post Too Busy, by Mizjj and it served as the catalyst for this post.

Over the past year or so, I've taken inventory on some people I afforded the title friend. I realized for some the title was ill-deserved and had to revoke their association with the word. There were a few that I increased their status because in so many ways, they were more deserving even though I'd known them for a lesser time than the former. I had to come to terms with quality over longevity and just because one has chronological time in, doesn't mean they were still worthy.

It pained me to have to make the choices I did, but I realized I was over-invested and residuals weren't yielding good dividends. I realized that I could no longer be in the deficit and allow myself to continually be the giver and less frequently the receiver.

Recently, I went through great pains to locate someone I'd known since I was 14. We shared a lot of history together and he was someone whom I'd always considered a dear friend. Upon finding him, we shared a few intense hours talking and catching up and I was sure things between us would maintain with some frequency; they haven't. I could very easily make attempts to contact him, but why? He has my number and if per chance, he lost it; his cousin whom I'm also friends with has it. I'm not that hard pressed that I'll sweat him to keep in touch. While I do miss him; especially after how good things went when last I saw him, I can't force someone to do something that no longer comes naturally to them.

I know someone else whom I once considered the twin soul. We were instant friends and things between us were great; well, so it seemed. Long story short, he's too busy. Too busy to even send a quick text message to say hi. Granted he does have a lot going on, but who doesn't? We're all busy in some respects, but if someone means as much to you as they say, then a few minutes should be better than none at all. The sad thing is that I used to really enjoy talking to him and he was my "escape" when my life got crazy. Now, he's just someone I know.

There was also this other guy I was close to, but he got all weird on me and while he'd profess his undying love for our friendship, he became more and more distant. We talked about it all at length and things improved for a while, but it went back to distant and strained so now, we just "check in" from time to time. It seems odd in some ways, but at least we know how things are with each other and where we stand, so there's no real beef or issue.

I used to think it was women who acted shady when it came to friendships, but it's more than obvious than men have their drama too. I've never really been one for close female friends or company and can count on a few fingers the women I'd consider BFFs. Those are the ones who are more like my heart sisters. I do have a male friend who's my BFF and even though we can work each others nerves; he to me moreso than me to he; I wouldn't stop being his friend unless he did something hella foul. We've had our share of disagreements, but he'll make time for me if/when necessary and would never tell me no if it was in his power to help me.

It's people like him and my heart sisters that make me treasure the word FRIENDSHIP. I no longer throw it around gracing people with an undeserved and unearned title. The word is far too precious and means too much to have it demeaned or defiled by the undeserving.

As the Capital One commercial says, "what's in your wallet?" I ask, who's in your corner?

17 July 2007

Family Ties

First, let me thank you all for your immeasurable support and your words of encouragement and inspiration. In a world where people tend to shy away from those in need, it's nice to know there are still some that show up instead of walking up. You're simply the best!

I took a much need mini vacation and went to visit family and had a great time. I spent time with my older brother and family to include his in-laws who welcomed me like I was one of their own. That was a lovely feeling; especially when I have no blood relatives close to me outside of lil lady.

I also went to my cousin's wedding and hung out with the rest of the crazy cousins. We're the kind of people that we simply pick up where we left off and never worry about the lack of communication in between. We spend our time catching up, eating, drinking, and talking trash. If any of you have ever spent any time with a close knit Jamaican family, then you have an idea of what I'm talking about. If you haven't, you're missing a truly good time. My best friend Rayne, got her taste of my clan a few years ago and has become an honorary "Jamerican" and was welcomed into the clan. She looks forward to the annual get together in Orlando where the majority of the cousins live. We're planning for the upcoming one in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, I'll recover enough to tell you all about it, but trust me, some of the details are on a Vegas level *wink* so I won't be sharing everything.

Being around them filled me with love, warmth, closeness, and all the things I needed to refresh and rejuvenate myself. The time away was well worth the 6-hour drive one way to see them.

It's amazing how a few days away from work, home, and your usual environment can waken your senses, clear your mind, and help you to live a little better. I certainly know how important it is to treasure family and to make the most of your time together; as I said, I don't get to do it often.

We all get busy and we all have obligations, but take a little time out for yourself and for your family/friends/loved ones. What's the sense in acquiring all that leave time if you don't use it? Even if you can only take one day off, make it a good one and do something memorable.

11 July 2007

That which does not break us...

Since my last post, I've been going through something that has in no way caused me to doubt my faith or trust in God; it simply gave me pause. Shock and confusion and even a little denial took residence in my because the situation was completely the contrary to anything I could have imagined.

I'm surrounded by quality friends, family, a great pastor, and with them I know I'll be okay. As I read the Word and Ralph Marston's daily inspiration, I was reminded that one cannot sit in a fog nor should one limit themselves due to an illness, lack of confidence in something, or feel as if they're not good enough or worthy. There is much we can do if we put our minds to it and that which does not break us, will truly make us stronger.

"Negative thoughts fog your thinking and your perception. With each doubt, with each frustration, with each fear the fog grows heavier.
After a while, it becomes difficult to see how to move forward. And that just makes the fog even thicker.
The fog of negative thinking prevents you from seeing and acting on your best possibilities. Instead of focusing on moving forward, you're able only to give your attention to the petty distractions of the moment.
There is something, though, that will burn off that fog. It is determined, passionate, meaningful intention.
Give your energy to positive purpose, and the fog will begin to lift. Then step confidently through what's left of the fog, and you'll quickly leave it behind.
At times it may seem that there's no escaping the fog of your negative thoughts, yet at any time you can choose to be free. Fill your spirit with true purpose, and your best possibilities will come clearly into view
." -- Ralph Marston

I'm in no way a quitter; never have been and never will be. I'm completely unbreakable, undeniable, and unsinkable. One of my talents aside from writing is, making it through the storm one way or another and this time will be no different. Negative thinking produces negative energy and there's already enough of that in the world, so I have to swim upstream even though the journey may be harder that way. I reflected on these words this morning and was inspired to finally get a post up...

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.”—Psalm 23:1-3". I read "he restores my soul" over and over again and couldn't help but feel uplifted and inspired. I am a child of God and He will take care of me.

We all know how short and precious life is and we all know how easy it is to get sidetracked and look at our trials negatively instead of realizing there is a lesson to be learned and testimony to profess. My trial has brought forth some healing, some overdure reconcilliation, and a lot of clarity. And for that alone, there is much to be grateful for. So, I implore each of you to find that which will not break you and make yourselves stronger. I implore each of you to have your soul restored. Most of all, be thankful and grateful each and every day and when that fog starts to set it, become that lighthouse; that beacon of strength, hope, and inspiration to yourself and others.


03 July 2007

things i shouldn't say out loud

hey y'all! please forgive the untimely posts. there's a lot going in the jewelry shop (my life) and it's kinda prevented me from being an active poster. i am getting to read many of your posts though, so you know i'm still out there.

anyhoo, i thought i'd post something light-hearted today; here goes...

"who the hell told him that living at home with his mama, buying all the latest gadgets instead of getting his own place and being a man was a good look?"

"why does the guy in the 'geek squad' look like a little troll or something from Lord of the Flies?"

"your baby is not cute and you shouldn't be acting like it's the next Gerber baby"

"no, you're perfume does not smell nice and it was a waste of money"

"no, i can't spare any change, i'm broke too dammit!"

"of course i want change, do you really think your service was worth more than the standard?"

"i don't care about Robbie's lack of interest in the computer save for video games. you make too much damn money to stand around talking instead of working"

"OMG! You look like Professor Klump in that tight ass outfit"

"you're so stupid that i bet your other head has more sense than you and it's little!"

"you're a nasty-stank-lazy-no washing your hands after you use the toilet-heffa"

"i wish i could just slap the stupid things you say outta your mouth"

"you bore me so badly that even my butt is numb"

"i'd like to do things to you that would make serial killers look like boy scouts"

"i wish i got paid six figures to sit at my desk to eat and sleep you lazy bastard"

"if you really wanna know why you can't get a date, bathe, get a wardrobe, and get a personality"

"your husband works late cause he'd rather have an affair with the cleaning lady than come home to you"

"i wouldn't eat that if i were you"

"yes, that outfit makes you look fat!"

"yes, you do need to work out, boobs on a man is not attractive"

"no, you can't get in my pants, i already have an asshole thanks!"

"you remind me of my jeep...the one i crashed!"