19 June 2008

i'm back!

I had a wonderful time away. It was long overdue and more than needed. I managed to complete the book I was reading and then another while I was gone; impressive huh? I think so...lol! Dad and I got to spend come quality time together; though I'm convinced the man where's a special kind of rose colored glasses...lol!

This is the front of my dad's house...it's not the best angle, but it's home away from home.
Where I sit and get my relax on...

My messy room...It has it's own patio and a bathroom off it.



I'll share some of the pix and talk about my trip more next post.
Love!

12 June 2008

reasons to be cheerful

Thanks again to all of you who read my Health Wealth series and sent your well wishes my way. I truly appreciate each of you and hope that a lesson was learned.

I'm going to be away after today until next Thursday, so I wanted to leave you with something light hearted. Here's a list of things that I'm cheerful and ever so grateful about...

being woken this morning and knowing that God is all around me

my daughter and the cute things she says in the txt messages she sends me
my mum for our being able to let the past ride and work with now and tomorrow
being reunited with my siblings and how our bond surpassed the distance
my acquired family for being such a great part of my life


that my sister is coming from London on the 25th to spend almost a month with me

the amazing largess afforded me thus making my time away possible. so much love for that

Zay because he's such a great big brother and a inspiration. we all need a Zay in our lives

my being cancer free and for being a health advocate

that in spite of my scars (literal), i'm still a beautiful, vibrant, and desirable woman
(still working on this one...lol)

for paying it forward

for being whole and no longer fractured...that's big for me

for loving myself enough to not see being single/celibate as a bad thing

that one day my king will come in search of his missing rib

for knowing that in spite of the bullshit and drama, there is still good and good people in the world

for the 25 year friendship i've had with my first bf in spite of the craziness we've been through

knowing that my blog has helped others

for the blogs that have helped, amused, entertained, and even angered me

for being a child of God; loving life; and trying to find the positive in any negative situation

Love!

11 June 2008

Health Wealth #6 (final for this series)

Moving along in my series, I'm going to give you a run down of events during my initial recovering process.

After coming home, I had to do light exercises to maintain strength in my right arm and to avoid tightness and other complications that could arise. I saw the reconstructive surgeon on Labor Day even though his practice was closed for the holiday. Yes, he actually went into the office just for me. There aren't too many doctors like him left. Anyhoo, he too the bandages off and changed the dressing and viewed the drain. It was at that point when I saw my breast for the first time. It was a little scary and I was immediately self-conscious about my appearance. He explained that a small amount of saline was in the implant to initiate the inflation and I would undergo inflation about every two weeks or however my body tolerated it. The skin had to completely heal as I had some external abrasions due to the scraping of the breast tissue, which over the next couple of weeks increased my self-consciousness and I found myself wearing button downs quite often.

When it was time for the first inflation, it hurt like heck. The tightness in my chest and the strain on my skin was quite unexpected. I took some ibruprophen to alleviate my discomfort and decided I would take one before each inflation just in case. Over the course of the expansion process, I found myself trying to get used to this hard foreign object that was residing in my chest, which wasn't an easy thing to do. It was hard to get comfortable in bed or while driving, so I used small pillows to cushion myself. I had a total of 3 inflations until the tissue expander reached the size it needed to be and then I was in wait mode.

The doctor had to be sure that my skin was ready for me to undergo the next surgery to remove the expander and put an implant in. In the interim, I saw the breast surgeon for an exam and get his feelings on which implant I should chose. I initially was going for saline, but after talking to him and a woman who had saline, they both recommended silicone. With their endorsement, my mind was made up and I'd done all the reading necessary when trying to decide which of the two to use and I felt comfortble with the combined decision.

Fast forward to January 11th, 2008...
Mum came up again for me to have my next surgery and again stayed at the hospital with me. My recover from anethesia was easy this go around and I felt much better a lot sooner. My unaffected breast was lifted after the implant was placed in the affected breast to provided symetry and better asthetics. I wanted a small implant in the unaffected breast, but the doctor wanted to wait for another chest x-ray and mamo before he felt comfortable doing it just in case there was a problem. I went home the next day and was out of work for 4 weeks. The first go around I was out for almost 8 weeks. I felt pretty good, but still had to take it easy, which I did.
I went through all of my post-op appointments and was back into the swing of things.

In March, 2008, I saw the breast surgeon again as well as the oncologist. Another chest x-ray and mamo was ordered and it was later determined that I was completely clean and could now schedule my final surgery to have the small implant put into my unaffected breast to finalize the reconstruction and symetry.

In May, 2008, I underwent the final surgery and took a week off work to recuperate. It should have been at least two, but I didn't want to go through the disability paperwork drama and I had enough comp time to be out for a week without having to use leave. The pain was actually more than I expected it to be and found myself wondering how women increase their breast sizes because they can. My procedure wasn't for vanity and on a couple of occasions, I wondered if I should have done it. Of course, I know I needed to, but shit, that pain is something.

So, here I am now almost a year to the date of my diagnosis, stronger emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I feel empowered for being so proactive in how I had to get through it all. Trust me when I tell you that I had some pretty shitty days. I allowed myself to feel whatever I was feeling and then I moved on. I refused to allow myself to wallow in misery or pity. Some very good things came out of it and I'm happy for those blessings.

The moral of this story is to listen to your body; I can't stress that enough. Had I not listened to my uterus acting a fool and continued popping pain pills, it would have been October before I saw my GYN because that's when I would have been due for my annual. Had I not listened and also had a doctor who took advantage of the time he had to examine me, my diagnosis and treatment options could have been a lot different.

I hope my story serves a means to encourage all of my female readers to ignore the discomfort of a mamogram and get it done as you're required. In fact, get all of your tests done! My male readers, please encourage the women in your lives to take care of themselves and get to the doctor when they need to. It's a known fact that women in committed relationships are often the second to know when lump is discovered.

Men, you aren't off the hook here. I implore each of you to get your health checked; know your familiy's medical history; where necessary and able, please ask; and don't ignore your body when it's doing something odd. Ask questions and do your research if you're unsure of what you're being tested for and do not settle for inadequate care.

Thank you all for reading my story, for sharing your heartfelt/heartwarming prayers and good wishes with me, and most of all for seeing me as a resource and testimony for why it's so important to be healthwise.

Love!

10 June 2008

Health Wealth #5

So, by now you know that I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2007. You know that it was (obviously) quite a shock, but a blow that I had to endure and fight through. You should be up to date, but if you're not, please refer back to the previous posts on this Health Wealth series.

Now for more of the story...

I’ve had surgery before, but nothing compared to this. Knowing that a part of my body would be essentially amputated and reconstructed was very scary. I was surrounded by my mum, my manager from work, who’s a role model, friend, and mentor rolled into one, lil lady, and bestie while I waited for the nurses to do their pre-surgery intake stuff. Once that was all taken care of, my mum and manager prayed over me and I was wheeled down to the OR.

Hours later, I woke up in agony, and wondered when the pain meds would actually work. Lil lady was snuck into the recovery room to see me and I stayed awake long enough to see her beautiful face and she was taken away. I really didn’t want her seeing me like that anyway as she already had a hard enough time accepting or dealing with what I was going through. I was finally taken to my room where a few close friends came to see me. I was pretty put of it and let the nurses and mum take care of me. I didn’t do well with the anesthesia and it wasn’t until almost 2:00am that I started to feel some relief. Mum stayed the night in the hospital with me to ensure that I was well taken care of; I was!

The next morning, the breast surgeon came to see me and explained that he was able to perform the surgery with the absolute best outcome and I was thrilled; that being my nipple was still in tact, which was something he couldn’t determine until the surgery was in progress. The reconstructive surgeon came in later and told me he was able to successfully begin the reconstruction; happiness continued. The pain was horrible, but I was alive and with favorable results.

Now, I’m sure there are those of you unfamiliar with breast surgeries, so I’ll explain the procedure I had done as it was not a typical mastectomy.

I received what’s called a Skin Sparing Mastectomy. This form of mastectomy is performed a few different ways, but this is how mine was done because my cancer was in two locations in my breast.

1. The underneath of my breast was cut open and lifted up.
2. The breast muscle was removed along with the breast tissue.
3. All of my breast skin and nipple remained in tact. (A typical mastectomy removes the breast skin and the nipple. Other Skin Sparing Mastectomies remove the nipple and the cancerous tissue).
4. A tissue expander was then placed under the skin with a small amount of saline to begin the process to expand the skin and make room for an implant later on.
5. A drain (typical procedure) was placed into my chest wall to remove excess fluid.
6. A bandage was wrapped around my chest to as a protective aid for the incision, the drain, and the expander.

Although I’m not in favor of “drive-thru” mastectomies (one day hospital stays), I was released from the hospital the day after my surgery because I was fearful of hospital-borne infections and I figured I’d be more comfortable at home.

As required and necessary, lymph nodes are removed and I was fortunate that only one of mine was removed the day of surgery and it was later determined to be within good margins; meaning the cancer was contained and my need for chemo and radiation was not necessary. Praise God!

I went home and began the process of healing and reconstruction.

Love!