04 January 2009

well, it's about time!

Dearest readers:

I know it's been a long time since I've posted and there has been numerous reasons why I haven't posted, but I've missed it and all of you and have decided that I need to get back into not just blogging, but writing in general.

So, I ended 2008 with amazing blessings, healing, and closure.  When I tell you it was amazing, that pales in comparison to how it felt.  Awestruck is pretty much a good summation of it.  Well, with that said, I moved into 2009 poised, focused, happy, confident, just to name a few feelings.  

I truly feel that this year is going to be filled with so many wonderful things and that the universe will conspire in my favor and that things that due diligence will pay off.  

This is a short post, but rest assured, it will not be the last.

Love!

04 December 2008

i hear dumb people

I was in Tuby Ruesday (as it became affectionately called after a few too many drinks) and I overheard a few guys talking about hooking up and things they consider deal breakers. The convo went something like this. All names created for ease of discussion.

Tom: When I'm hooking up, I want the girl with the cute friends and try to make it a group activitiy.

John: I want a girl who's gonna let the alcohol rule.

Mike: Yea, that's great, but who wants a girl with her own condom stash?

::enter crickets::

John: Whatcha saying dude?

Tom: A girl with her own condoms is cool. That means you've got more to party with.

Mike: Nah dude. If she's got her own stash that means she probably sleeps around.

::enter crickets again. a few stifled laughs and me with a WTF? expression::

John: Dude, you're an ass. Whadya mean she probably sleeps around? Safe sex is good. Safe and easy sex is even better.

Tom: Yea, if ya hooking up, you want it to be stress free and who wants to be all hot and bothered and then worry about condoms.

Mike: But that's not cool dude.

Okay, so by now my mind is going a mile a minute and I'm like, how dumb is Mike really? Being completely gobsmacked by the nonsense coming out of Mike's mouth that I continue to listen adn he tries to prove his point.

Mike: I mean if I'm hooking up and I'm at her place, I don't want her reaching into the drawer and going through an assortment of condoms. That makes her look easy and cheap.

John: Man, are you hearing yourself? You're a f*cking moron. If you're hooking up, the girl is probably easy in the first place dude, so you better be happy that she's got her own stash or you could get more than an easy lay.

::Tom and John high five. Mike ponders::

Mike: Yeah, but girls aren't supposed to be ready to hook up. We're men and we're sposed to be in charge and ready for the show.

I've now had my second beer and I'm trying to convince myself that the beer is taking control of my mental accuities and I"m really not hearing the crap Mike's spewing.

Tom: Dude with that attitude you shouldn't even be hooking up. You're too stupid to see and opportunity and take it.

John: Yea, and this way you get to either use more; if you can stay hard that long ::huge laughter:: or you'll have more of your own left for another time.

Mike: F*ck you! I don't care what you say. I don't want no girl who's got her own condom stash.

Fortunately, my friends joined showed up and saved me from anymore of the boylsheet that was coming from Mike. I couldn't believe he was that equally dumb and naive to think that the girls he was hooking up with werent easy and weren't smart enough to be responsible about their looseness. I replayed the conversation for my friends who shared in the concensus that Mike would be most likely to either get an STD or someone pregnant from a hook up.

It's sad that there are people who really think that women shouldn't have their own condom supply or might be offended by it. In this day and age, you can't be too careful with the person you're already in a relationship with let alone someone you're just hooking up with.

I'd rather see dead people than hear dumb ones.

Love!

02 December 2008

song i'm feeling...bad!

since entering my 40's i realize that my sexual appetite had become quite voracious. While I'm not nearly as active as I'd like to be; sex is still something that i find wanting to engage in with some frequency.

I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics of The Hunger - Eric Benet until this morning and the lyrics sounded so much like how I'd be with that special someone. Tell me what you think of them.
Still wanting me... still hungry

Now the first kiss was the one
that left me seeing just how deep your into me.
Surprised by your intensity, I couldn't believe.

Now the next kiss happened 7 days ago
that's when I started letting go
dropped my guard and let you know
i was ready for more.

Oh, thats when I took you home
and i wasn't quite ready for how you came
words can't explain
the pleasures we've explored.

oh, we've been making love 6 nights strong
and i can't believe just how long you can go
i'm ready for more of the hunger in your soul

{Chorus} Girl you're blazing like you never get enough of me
its amazing and i'm loving that you're
still wanting me... you're still hungry

You keep rising like you're never gonna reach the top
I'm not trynna make you stop because you're
still wanting me... still hungry

Now the first time was amazing like I said.
Like nothing I've seen, done or read Colors
and music played in my head I wasn't prepared

Now the next time happen when i finally caught my breath
I saw the sweat drip off your chest.
Girl you inspire my very best
and I gave nothing less

and it seems
with every conversation in between
i get a little more attracted
when you open up your mind girl I find your
perception of the world coincides with mine.

and I tried to let the fever in me subside
but every time i see that little look in your eye
i come back to life
and I rise, I rise, I rise, ohhhh

From the bedroom to the kitchen,
up against the wall Still I hear your body call because y
ou're still wanting me, and you're still hungry

From 100 miles an hour back to slow motion
I'm the waves up on your ocean
cause your still wanting me, and you're still hungry

{bridge} Did you know that you smile when you're asleep?
is it there all the time...
or only when you're with me?
When the morning sun shines on your face
Let me be the first breath you take.

{repeat chorus til end} Girl you're blazing
like you never get enough of me its amazing
and i'm loving that
you're still wanting me... you're still hungry

You keep rising like you're never gonna reach the top
I'm not trynna make you stop because
you're still wanting me... still hungry

Love!

25 November 2008

a random sprinkling of jewel dust...

okay, so i know it's been damn near a month since i last posted something, but that doesn't mean i haven't missed you all. what it actually means is that there's been a lot going on and it's prohibited me from blogging about it; well until today.

today, i'm going to post random samplings of what i've been doing and going through...

so, my Jamaica boo and i had a huge fight, mended fences, and are friends again. he's still laying claim to the goods, but that's his issue not mine *giggle*

i'm still seeing The Toolbelt (the one my last post was about), though i've slowed that down some. and i'm also seeing Mr. Cerebral. They ironically live roughly 15 minutes from each other, but the good thing is that the latter spends his social time in Brooklyn, so never the two shall meet. *phew*

dating (more than one guy) is way out of my league for real peeps! though i'm handling it pretty well, it's still overwhelming and something that i'm not used to.

i have these crazy horny periods that i have the worst time containing. i was in Florida, so there was no way for me to satisfy my needs. Girl 6 had NOTHING on me when i made my calls (read: demands) for sexual gratification upon my return to NJ.

Lil Lady continues to be the most amazing person to me. while so many mothers are going through hell with their teens, i'm enjoying a warm, affectionate, open, and honest relationship with mine. *yay*

speaking of Lil Lady, she has once again made the High Honor Roll. beauty AND brains in one petite lil package. i'm so blessed!

"Yes, we can" is something that i'm living by and find ways to apply it to my life on a daily basis. i'm not going to be that person who voted for the man and is now complacent because i've gotten what i wanted. i'm going to be an even bigger advocate for positive change and efficiency for myself, my family, and my community.

even though i'm struggling financially (like most are), i'm ever grateful for what i DO have and i'm thankful for each and every day i wake, can work, have health benefits, etc. i don't complain about what i don't have because there truly is so much i have and to be grate/thankful for.

my health continues to be good and even though i'm sick of being poked and prodded, examined, and charted, i know it's for the greater good and health awareness is a key proponent in keeping me alive and well.

even though i'm dating, love is still elusive to me and i do truly hope one day that it'll find me, take me down, and hold me hostage for life.

faith and prayer are two key components in how i make it through life.

as we approach Thanksgiving, i reflect on the many things/people I'm thankful for and it's easier to focus on the good stuff rather than the bad. as Sam Cooke's song said, A Change Gone Come and it can/will as long as we believe and participate.

i refused the extremely rude and errant attempts on getting my attention while in JFK airport recently and was called out my name for it. i promptly corrected him and infromed him that his actions and inability to accept my refusal demonstrated a lack of class and integrity on his part and that he's apparently not used to dealing with women with any real respect for herself and that's why he came out his face. i went on to tell him that he might want to dig into his pysche as to why he sees and treats women the way he does if he has any hopes on getting a woman with any self-worth. i walked away leaving him some words to ponder and about 15 mins later, he came back and apologized. he told me he's not used to women turning him down (he was attractive) and that he was used to getting his way and what he wanted. ironically, this led to a conversation about women, their worth and that woman are their own worst enemy and sell themselves out for the stupidest of things. at the end if the conversation we agreed that we truly hope that we can regain our positions as princesses/queens/empresses. he said, he was going to work on being a king. *wow*

work has been so crazy and demanding lately and i really felt like my efforts were going unnoticed. actually they weren't and my manager has given me a lot of props for what i've been doing and how well i've taken on my increased work load.

i've taken the opportunity to travel for work and i love it as much as i did in the past. in Oct i went to IN and KY. last week, i was in Fl, and next month, i'm going to TX. i want to stay marketable, gain field experience, and show them that i'm willing to learn and mature in my work skills.

a good/reliable source says my name has come up for some form of promotion in the new year.

speaking of traveling; my trip to Fl was fantastical! i was in Jacksonville, Orlando, and Miami with a great guy in my work group. we had a blast and hooked up with my fave girl cuz in Miami and had a night on the town. he'd never been to Fl before, so we had to make it memorable for him.

i was able to stay for the remainder of the weekend and catch up with mum and dad and sis.

my cuz and i are completely nuts together; always have been and always will be. we're the proverbial two peas in a pod. together we're like C4 waiting to be ignited! i think we might have been the catalyst for what we saw on a t-shirt. "came here for vacation and left on probation". though we've never been summoned by any law enforcement agencies, we've come close. *giggle at the mems*

i apologize for being out of the loop, but life has to be lived, but know that i've not forgotten any of you and even though i may not always comment, i do try to read your blogs and see what you're up to.

well, my blog fam, that's all for now. Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you. I pray blessings for you and your families/friends during this time of communcal gatherings.

Love!