02 March 2006

Heartbreak

We've all experienced the heartbreak of a failed relationship or a crush gone unrequited, but neither of them compare to the heartbreak caused by your child. It's not like adult relationships where you can walk away and not have to look at the person that broke your heart and caused you so much pain; with a child, you have to stay. You have to stick it out and mend the fence. This is why she considers what she's going through the greatest heartbreak of all. How does she look at her child quite the same again? How does she look at her child who's hurt is evident in her pained and tear-filled eys and not want to just erase what happened? She can't! She has to use it as a learning tool; a means to make her child a better person. My friend says she has to contain her own pain; her own heartache; and do what's in the best interst of raising her child right. Talk about sacrifice! I hurt for my friend, but at the same time I applaud her unselfish love and devotion in order to ensure her child does not yield again to the things that got her in trouble in the first place.

My friend said what she's experiencing with her child as the greatest and most painful heartbreak she's ever gone through. Finding out her child had been lying, living a dual persona, and was being deceitful in a number of ways, shattered the image that she had of her child and the image the child had been portraying. While she never maintained the position that her child could do no wrong, but she felt comfortable in saying she had a good child and felt they were close enough to endure almost anything together; after all that was the luxury her child afforded her. Now that trust has been broken; along with her heart, my friend now has to try to pick up the pieces and move on. She has to punish and restrict her child, question everything that comes out of her childs mouth for truth, and do it all with love and compassion. How hard is that? What pain she must be going through.

Fortunately, my friend has a good support system and another family whom she's close to to help both her and her child through this trying time. I truly do believe it takes a village to raise a child and we need to revert back to that practice. I recall when I was younger getting in trouble and a neighbor told my mother what I did. I got in trouble two-fold, but it taught me a valuable lesson and it also showed me that someone outside of my family cared enough about me to tell on me. The neighbor could have said nothing, but I would never have learned that what I was doing was wrong and my actions had consequences.

Times have changed and people are more disconnected than ever, but if we care anything about children and their futures, we all need to lend a hand and be there for a child and even the parents.

6 comments:

JCarter said...

That's some painful shit. I'm a father and I know I'd be crushed if my lil man hurt me like that. I know it'll probably happen, but I pray it don't. I feel for ya girl. Give her a big ol hug and help her get through this. I don't know how old her kid is, but maybe she should read this so she knows how her mother feels and maybe that will help to fix things. Hey, ya never know. Btw, I remember how it was back in the day (rubbing my ass), boy to I remember.

BlaqRayne said...

Big hugs to your friend.

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