17 January 2009

I want it all dammit!

This post ain't for the cynical, the romance haters, or those who are bitter and have given up on love.  

As stated in my post, "too hard for my own good, but i'm gonna do it anyway", I love to hard for my own good, but plan to do it anyway.  Why?  Because I truly believe that two people who are really deep into each other; who've grown as friends and become lovers can have that connection where they never have to question the love between them.  I believe that when you're not afraid to be loved for your flaws and not being seen as unrealistically perfect, but perfect in another's eyes; that's when you've reached the pinnacle of what relationships are about.  

I believe in love at first sight, destiny, fate, and serendipity.  I believe that love can heal and purify.  I know that love can be a painful thing sometimes, but I still firmly believe that it's something absolutely magnificent.

I know that's it's possible to love someone inexplicably, unequivocally, and with wild abandon and that's the kind of love that I want and the kind that I'm gonna have dammit!  I absolutely refuse to have the kind of relationship where we're too caught up in our daily grind to make a quick call, send a txt or email, or use any of the many forms of modern day communicative means to let the other person know they're being thought of or are special.  I'm gonna be in a relationship where the following take place:
  • we devise little codes to "check in" or say, "thinking about you"
  • we carve out a some time each day to wind down with each other
  • we cherish the small and simple things 
  • we have "date night"
  • we never go to bed mad
  • we say "I love you" everyday
  • we turn the phones off, shut the world out, and be the only two people on the planet
  • we write notes and sneak them into each others pockets or bag
  • we use songs to speak when our own words fail us
I know to many this all sounds rather utopian and unrealistic, but it's not and that's why I prefaced this post with what I did and you should just stop reading now.  I mean NOW!

I'm so sick and tired of hearing people bitch, whine, or complain that is or that isn't working in their relationship yet do little or nothing to fix the issues.  Yea, I know we may have kids, or a demanding job, or some other thing that requires a lot of our time or energy, but screw all that. Without that love, support, and nurturing, you might as well just chuck it all in and be a robot or slave to the machine.  

It only takes just a few minutes to show someone you care or love them. The time many take to forward something that claims your a shitty friend if you don't send the txt/email to 9 people; or that God's gonna hate you if you delete the prayer; or one of the many other FWDs that get sent via txt or email; we could use that time to reach out to our significant other, spouse, or even our children and say something nice.  A kind word goes a long damn way and the more we use them, the easier it is for them to flow and the stronger our relationships will be and the more love that will be spread.

So again I say, if you're still SOS (stuck on stupid), stop reading this post NOW cause I'm not done.

Reverting back to the title of this post, I repeat that I want it all.  I want to love and be loved like love was my preserving breath.  I want to live each day knowing that I'm giving the best of who I am to whom I love and that I'm going to get that in return.  I friggin deserve it and I'm gonna get it.  I'm not gonna settle for percolating drips of love that is only dispensed at the others convenience.  Screw Valentine's Day because that's one of the biggest crocks of shit I've experienced.  If we love each other, then EVERY DAMN DAY IS VALENTINE'S DAY!!! EVERY last one of them.  I don't need some overly commercialized "holiday" to prove I'm loved or that I love someone.  While, my angst against Valentine's Day could be interpreted by some as cynicism, trust and believe it's not; I've felt this way for a very long time and have save former boyfriends and an ex-husband a lot of time and money foregoing it.

I'm gonna be in a relationship where we aren't afraid of PDA.  Well, I'm not into "get a room" type of PDA, but hey, if the moment calls for it, then so be it. *lol*  I'm gonna be in a relationship that where possible, we call out sick just to stay home and make love, or we meet for lunch, or surprise each other with something without there being an occasion.  Laughter will be the adhesive that also keeps us together because it's needed to enhance the love and uphold the joy of our being together.

Well, there you have it people.  This is my story; my wish; and what WILL be my future.  

Love to live; live to love!


Lion-ess said...

Go girl!!

You can have it all..
I did..
It's time woman stop settling!!

Believer 1964 said...

Amen! You shall have whatever you desire.

This post is dripping with love and romance. I love it!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

"i carry your heart with me," by E. E. Cummings has been a favorite love poem and a favorite selection at weddings for many years. The poem has gained renewed interest since being featured in the film, "In Her Shoes."

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Blu Jewel said...

@ lioness I'm so happy for you and that you've found this kind of love. I've had an experience like this and want/need it again in my life. It's coming, I can feel it.

@ believer - that this is why i love you. You're always championing in my favor and wishing me well. You're an inspiration to me lady and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and this beautiful poem.

Love to live; live to love!

chele said...

It's definitely out there but it's not a life that is for the faint of heart. Too many people give up too quickly because they think love shouldn't be hard.

Darius T. Williams said...

I sure hope you get it - for real.

Blu Jewel said...

@chele - I refuse to quit or give up. I know for sure that it's alive and I plan to get mine. I like how you and your man interact with each other; it's an inspiration.

@ Darius - thanks sweetie!

love to live; live to love!

Hawa Bond said...

And by golly dahling... YOU SHALL HAVE DAT!

Love ya!

Hawa, author of Fackin Truth Blog and Cleanse Master Remix

T.C. said...

i too want it all and until i feel like i am even close i will remain single...but i still believe and it'll happen love still exists esp for good people!