"Engage yourself fully in the details of living, and with each day you add value to your life that cannot be taken away. Be an active, enthusiastic participant in this day, and you'll come away from it with real, lasting treasure." -- Ralph Marston
Ever have days when you wonder where the hell time went and/or what you've done with your life? Of course you have; we all have. I have gaps in my life which I can't and don't recall and there have been moments where I wonder who was at the wheel. I realize now that I relinquished control to the wrong things and sometimes the wrong people. That revelation is startling because it shows that we're all so easily misled, misguided, and misunderstood when we aren't clear about what our intentions are for ourselves or for/with others. So, often when we realize we've been back seat drivers in our cars of life, and those we let at the wheel were in some ways drunk drivers. Granted, there are times when we need to relinquish control and allow others to lead while we're trying to figure things out, but there does come a time when we have to stop and take control. We can't and shouldn't allow ourselves to squander our lives away.
In speaking with lil sis on Sunday, she told me of her soon to be 26 year old friend who is currently pregnant with her 4th child. Said girl has only a high school education, a part time job, an unemployed husband, and her 3rd child has cerebal palsy; a bit much for a girl I'd say. Lil sis and I discussed how this girl has no prospects of a better life, probably will not be able to provide a better life for her children, and basically will only have children to show for her existence. Though I partly wanted to feel bad for the girl, I found that I couldn't. She has chosen the life she currently has and her complains are pretty warrantless as she's made the proverbial bed she's laying in. We predict that years from now, she'll look back and wonder where it all went and what does she have to show for herself. As they say, "with age comes wisdom", so this we're hoping that she'll stop having kids and try to do what she can with what she has for herself and her family. We also hope that her husband will step up to the plate and get a job.
Back to my initial and basic point though...We all need to be active participants in our lives. We can't and shouldn't sit around complacent and placing blame on why we're in the predicaments we're in. It's all so easy to say it's society's fault for this or that; blame our parents; blame our education (sometimes lack thereof); we simply need to start being active. Get off our asses and do something; anything is better than nothing. Look beyond material things to define you. Look beyond whether you're the perfect height, size, or weight. Find wealth in knowledge, integrity, and excelling at whatever it is you're good out. Lead; however, follow when necessary. There are so many ways to be active...what's yours?
07 November 2006
03 November 2006
Open your (&%)#*% mouth
DISCLAIMER: I'm angry. Not just your average garden variety type of anger, but that full-fledged, I'd like to slap the taste outchat mouth type angry; so if you're not up for having your Friday skunked, stop reading now.
Okay, I finally got to read I Don't Wanna Play Either and I swear Jus and I are truly kinnected (her word for our relationship) because her post is complimentary to my thoughts right now. I'm so fucking sick and tired of people who can't say what the fuck is truly on their mind. No, I'm not talking about being quiet to be politically correct; I'm talking about people who send mixed fucking messages, use crptic speech, or say nothing at all. Will someone please tell me what the fuck is up with that? I know IT IS NOT JUST ME? Jus's blog and the one she referred to in her blog obviously support my thinking/quesion. In another post by Jus Indiscriminate Thoughts posted yessterday one of her "How comes?" asked, "How come I hate when people try to spit slick shit in code or using cryptic language instead of just saying what the fuck they want to say?" This form of "speech" is insulting, juvenile, frustrating, as well as down right fucking cruel. People's feelings are at stake and the mutha fucka toy's with them. People who do this are spineless and deserve to be fucking shot.
I won't sit here and act like the morality police and say I've never sent mixed messages, but when called on it as I had been, I spoke up. I digressed into incessant apologies and thoroughly explained my shortcomings. I can not and will not intentionally send mixed messages especially when the receiving party has been forthcoming.
The most insulting part of this kind of bullshit communication is that the offending party will act as if he/she has done nothing wrong. WTF? Yeah, right, like the receiving party is sitting around asking to be fucking shit on. I doubt that highly. In the case that has be partly so worked up, I know it's the offending party that's causing all the heartache. The receiver has decided to digress, but was met with resistence and now that she wants to know where she stands, she's being given the run around. Age and experience is telling me to let it go and not take it so personally, but when I see what the receiving party is going through and knowing that said person has done NOTHING BUT BE KIND, SUPPORTIVE, AND NICE, I'm sorry I can't. This is the kind of shit that makes me wanna roll up on offender and be like, "you know, you're a fuck up right?" But of course I can't do that as it's truly not my place, but politeness be damned, I really want to. Again, I digress and recognize that I need to continue to be a friend to the receiver of the bullshit treatment and guide her as best I can. I'm a ride or die type friend and that's why I'm all worked up.
I recognize and realize that with age comes wisdom and I'll cut the offender a little, and I do mean a little slack, cause they're young; however, that doesn't take away the fact that human kindness can be extended at any age especially when you're above 18 and have had a little relationship experience under your belt. And folk wonder why I'm still fucking single. A chick like me has no time for the drama.
I'm now a little calmer than how I started, but I know this is temporary. Seeing the hurt and pain in my friend's eyes later is going to kill me and I'll have to restrain "Annie" (alter ego) from wanting to black the fuck out and holla at the dumbass for their inability to keep it real.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend and in closing I ask you all to think about the words that leave your mouth when you speak. Always strive to "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."
Okay, I finally got to read I Don't Wanna Play Either and I swear Jus and I are truly kinnected (her word for our relationship) because her post is complimentary to my thoughts right now. I'm so fucking sick and tired of people who can't say what the fuck is truly on their mind. No, I'm not talking about being quiet to be politically correct; I'm talking about people who send mixed fucking messages, use crptic speech, or say nothing at all. Will someone please tell me what the fuck is up with that? I know IT IS NOT JUST ME? Jus's blog and the one she referred to in her blog obviously support my thinking/quesion. In another post by Jus Indiscriminate Thoughts posted yessterday one of her "How comes?" asked, "How come I hate when people try to spit slick shit in code or using cryptic language instead of just saying what the fuck they want to say?" This form of "speech" is insulting, juvenile, frustrating, as well as down right fucking cruel. People's feelings are at stake and the mutha fucka toy's with them. People who do this are spineless and deserve to be fucking shot.
I won't sit here and act like the morality police and say I've never sent mixed messages, but when called on it as I had been, I spoke up. I digressed into incessant apologies and thoroughly explained my shortcomings. I can not and will not intentionally send mixed messages especially when the receiving party has been forthcoming.
The most insulting part of this kind of bullshit communication is that the offending party will act as if he/she has done nothing wrong. WTF? Yeah, right, like the receiving party is sitting around asking to be fucking shit on. I doubt that highly. In the case that has be partly so worked up, I know it's the offending party that's causing all the heartache. The receiver has decided to digress, but was met with resistence and now that she wants to know where she stands, she's being given the run around. Age and experience is telling me to let it go and not take it so personally, but when I see what the receiving party is going through and knowing that said person has done NOTHING BUT BE KIND, SUPPORTIVE, AND NICE, I'm sorry I can't. This is the kind of shit that makes me wanna roll up on offender and be like, "you know, you're a fuck up right?" But of course I can't do that as it's truly not my place, but politeness be damned, I really want to. Again, I digress and recognize that I need to continue to be a friend to the receiver of the bullshit treatment and guide her as best I can. I'm a ride or die type friend and that's why I'm all worked up.
I recognize and realize that with age comes wisdom and I'll cut the offender a little, and I do mean a little slack, cause they're young; however, that doesn't take away the fact that human kindness can be extended at any age especially when you're above 18 and have had a little relationship experience under your belt. And folk wonder why I'm still fucking single. A chick like me has no time for the drama.
I'm now a little calmer than how I started, but I know this is temporary. Seeing the hurt and pain in my friend's eyes later is going to kill me and I'll have to restrain "Annie" (alter ego) from wanting to black the fuck out and holla at the dumbass for their inability to keep it real.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend and in closing I ask you all to think about the words that leave your mouth when you speak. Always strive to "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."
02 November 2006
Not your average thankful Thursday
As I stated on Monday, themed weeks are stressful for me and there was the possibility that I may change at any time. Well, today is that day. Two weeks of themes was more than I could bare and I have other things on my mind anyway.
As we approach Thanksgiving, I reflect on the many things I am thankful for. I actually do it almost daily for as we know nothing is promised. Yesterday a coworker received a call at work that her brother was killed. As she fell to the floor and cried hysterically, I was again reminded that nothing is promised and we should find something to be thankful for regardless. No, we may not have the money we want, the expansive home, blah, blah, blah, but shit; there IS ALWAYS something to be grateful and/or thankful for.
I think about the service members who have fought and died over the past 2-3 years fighting a war that many of us are still trying to make sense of. Many of these service members were in their prime; just getting into the swing of life and it was cut short. They'll be another notch in Death Tolls belt and then a forgotten memory save for their families and friends. Casualities of war is what the powers to be will see them as. Their SGLI (Service Members Life Insurance) will pay out, but I'm sure the surviving relatives would prefer the person and not the money. I also think about the servicemembers that return home and have nothing. Their homes are gone, the lives they previously had are gone; along with limbs and sound mental accuities. I'm thankful that I fortunately never got called to such a duty and that my 20 years of service will soon come to an end. The time I've spent in the military has served me well, but I can't do it anymore. I'll thank Uncle Sam and swiftly keep it moving.
For the shit I've endured in life by the hands of others and in some cases by fault of my own, I am truly thankful for the life I have. I realized that life is beautiful; life is a struggle; life is a beautiful struggle. No matter how hard I think I have it, there is someone somewhere worse off than me. I need to embrace the bad to enjoy the good. The Divine has given me that strength and I will not offend Him by being unnecessarily weak. As a dear friend said during a time of personal issues, "Hallelujah anyway!" I also know that "...no weapon formed against me shall prosper..." I know this to be true and for that I'm thankful.
There are many things I could go on and on about, but I know you feel me. I know we have times and days when all we want to do is bitch and gripe and I'm not saying you shouldn't. Hell, that would make us perfect if we didn't and we all know we're certainly not perfect. However, after the bitching/griping is over and after you've R.S.V.P'd to your pity party, look around you and find something and/or someone to be thankful for. Know that you probably didn't get where you are in life alone. Not just for this thankful/holiday season, but for everyday, please find ways to be thankful, find ways to be kind, and find ways to pay it forward.
I know it's not just me, so what/who are you thankful for today?
As we approach Thanksgiving, I reflect on the many things I am thankful for. I actually do it almost daily for as we know nothing is promised. Yesterday a coworker received a call at work that her brother was killed. As she fell to the floor and cried hysterically, I was again reminded that nothing is promised and we should find something to be thankful for regardless. No, we may not have the money we want, the expansive home, blah, blah, blah, but shit; there IS ALWAYS something to be grateful and/or thankful for.
I think about the service members who have fought and died over the past 2-3 years fighting a war that many of us are still trying to make sense of. Many of these service members were in their prime; just getting into the swing of life and it was cut short. They'll be another notch in Death Tolls belt and then a forgotten memory save for their families and friends. Casualities of war is what the powers to be will see them as. Their SGLI (Service Members Life Insurance) will pay out, but I'm sure the surviving relatives would prefer the person and not the money. I also think about the servicemembers that return home and have nothing. Their homes are gone, the lives they previously had are gone; along with limbs and sound mental accuities. I'm thankful that I fortunately never got called to such a duty and that my 20 years of service will soon come to an end. The time I've spent in the military has served me well, but I can't do it anymore. I'll thank Uncle Sam and swiftly keep it moving.
For the shit I've endured in life by the hands of others and in some cases by fault of my own, I am truly thankful for the life I have. I realized that life is beautiful; life is a struggle; life is a beautiful struggle. No matter how hard I think I have it, there is someone somewhere worse off than me. I need to embrace the bad to enjoy the good. The Divine has given me that strength and I will not offend Him by being unnecessarily weak. As a dear friend said during a time of personal issues, "Hallelujah anyway!" I also know that "...no weapon formed against me shall prosper..." I know this to be true and for that I'm thankful.
There are many things I could go on and on about, but I know you feel me. I know we have times and days when all we want to do is bitch and gripe and I'm not saying you shouldn't. Hell, that would make us perfect if we didn't and we all know we're certainly not perfect. However, after the bitching/griping is over and after you've R.S.V.P'd to your pity party, look around you and find something and/or someone to be thankful for. Know that you probably didn't get where you are in life alone. Not just for this thankful/holiday season, but for everyday, please find ways to be thankful, find ways to be kind, and find ways to pay it forward.
I know it's not just me, so what/who are you thankful for today?
01 November 2006
Why Wednesday
So far so good with me not quitting the themed week, but I do still have two more days to go. Well, here's my thoughts for today...
…why do I want to continue the mischief I mentioned in Monday’s post?
…why do I want to give in to a temptation from Tuesday’s post?
…why does anyone (politicians) who’s last name end in (R) really piss me off?
…why does the prospect of a black and/or female president sound so promising, yet a part of me knows come ’08 it may NOT happen?
…why isn’t it November 7th so all this political bullshit will be over?
…why do I wish I was on a private jet heading to somewhere tropical?
…why do I not disagree with this comment..."Being a citizen in George W. Bush's America is like being a passenger in a care driven by a drunk driver"?
…why am I having enormous mood swings?
…why am I ignoring there’s probably a reason for it?
...why am I still wondering why A.I (Allen Iverson) looked like he was on Lithium when my friends and I on Saturday at the 40/40 Club in A.C?
...why do I wish I could have slapped the taste out of the mouth of a coworker who got loud and indignant with me yesterday as I was leaving work? (yes, I did promptly read her ass)
...why did the following bloggers jus.b.fli,
Lovers Anonymous, and
The Dancing Archer post erotic stuff that I read too damned early in the morning leaving me to sigh and well...I'm just happy I'm not a guy
What's your "why?" today?
…why do I want to continue the mischief I mentioned in Monday’s post?
…why do I want to give in to a temptation from Tuesday’s post?
…why does anyone (politicians) who’s last name end in (R) really piss me off?
…why does the prospect of a black and/or female president sound so promising, yet a part of me knows come ’08 it may NOT happen?
…why isn’t it November 7th so all this political bullshit will be over?
…why do I wish I was on a private jet heading to somewhere tropical?
…why do I not disagree with this comment..."Being a citizen in George W. Bush's America is like being a passenger in a care driven by a drunk driver"?
…why am I having enormous mood swings?
…why am I ignoring there’s probably a reason for it?
...why am I still wondering why A.I (Allen Iverson) looked like he was on Lithium when my friends and I on Saturday at the 40/40 Club in A.C?
...why do I wish I could have slapped the taste out of the mouth of a coworker who got loud and indignant with me yesterday as I was leaving work? (yes, I did promptly read her ass)
...why did the following bloggers jus.b.fli,
Lovers Anonymous, and
The Dancing Archer post erotic stuff that I read too damned early in the morning leaving me to sigh and well...I'm just happy I'm not a guy
What's your "why?" today?
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