26 June 2006

The "cool mom"

Being the mother of a teen can be a harrowing, but with time and understanding it can be pretty neat and be downright hilarious experience. Being that I'm considered a "cool mom", makes my time spent with my daughter and her friends a lot of fun.

Since the start of eighth grade, (for my daughter not me...lol!) I've been spending more and more time in "teen land". I get included in their crazy conversations, their likes/dislikes of people, and getting to be a part of their lives and many other experiences. As I said, I'm considered a "cool mom" and my daughter's friends aren't shy around me. In fact, they're very vocal and tell me things they probably wouldn't tell their own parents. I don't mind because I think teens need to talk more and if I'm someone they're cool with, then I'm at least providing them the safety and security they need. No, I don't allow them to be disrespectful, I don't treat them like mini adults, and I certainly uphold certain codes of conduct while in my home or out with me. They also know, I will snatch them up when they're acting out and if necessary, take them home at whatever hour it is to their parents for unruly behavior. Basically, I treat them as I would my own...My house; my rules!

Anyhoo, in being around them, I started to notice that while they're growing up, some of them still have that infantile innocence where they react to things and people around them rather vocally. If they see someone who looks or is acting offensively, they immediately respond; in some instances, not so quietly. It's far from appropriate sometimes, but all in all they're being honest and we teach our children to be honest right? Right! There have been occasions, where I tried to chastise them, but then I think I could be sending mixed messages about honesty and expression. I'm learning that there's a truly fine line and I have to pick my battles carefully. I find myself teaching them that they have a right to express themselves, but they have to recognize that the person they see has a right to express themselves too. I also find that I have to censor they're reactions to a degree so they're not being too vocal or too opinionated. Again, that fine line, but respect for others is important to me and they need to have that.

I've just spent my entire weekend around 3 teenage girls and needless to say it's more than an amusing thing. They giggle, talk on the phone, listen to music, make fun of people, think they're the only beautiful girls in the world, do hair, play games, and whatever else teen girls do. In some ways they remind me of what I did when I was there age, save for all the extraneous niceties they have (iPods, cell phones, getting their nails done, etc.) these days.

In this crazy world in which we currently live, where parents are often absent even when they're home; or parents not taking the time out to spend getting to really know their kids friends, I'm finding it to be kind of neat. I think we need to revert back to some of the "ol school ways" of rearing kids, because in spite of what they or some of us might think, they do still need parents and not adult friends. I know there will be days when I won't like being around them, but at least for now, I continue to enjoy it.

Being a "cool mom" is a pretty nice title and I'll be the best parent or sub-parent I can be to the kids I'm around. Being a MILF is one I don't like, but that's a blog for another day.

6 comments:

JC said...

I had to laugh at this one. Of course it kinda reminded me of American Pie, but it also made me remember my boys mom. We was always at my boys house and kicked it with her cause she let us be us. Yeah, she jacked us up when we needed it, but it was cool to know that she had our backs. Most of us had moms who was working all the time and a few had moms that should never have that title. Ma, do you and keep them kids on the right track. Your daughter must be real proud of you. I know I would be if I was her. Does she ever read these? Just askin!

BlaqRayne said...

This is a great entry. I'm not a parent, but I have a few younger siblings that are young enough to be my children. I often look at them and wonder if I looked like that to adults looking upon me. In this day and age, it's very important for young people to have a mature adult to communicate with. So many of them rely on each other for "the truth" and they're often misguided.

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