02 February 2010

Bittersweet

Well, as you all know I’d fallen for an old friend and things between us were good. The distance as we both knew would present us with a problem. In spite of it, we managed to maintain and sustain good communication and correspondence.

It was known that we’d both been dating other people off and on; however, it didn’t take away from what we felt for each other. I had the biggest challenge of all because I’d prayed with my entire being that he’d be mine for keeps this year. The few people who knew the intricate details surrounded me with their support and encouraged me to allow myself to feel and fall; especially given what the former Him had taken me through.

I have absolutely no regrets for opening my heart and emotions and allowing myself to fall completely in love. Hell, I needed to experience it to know that I could in fact love someone other than the Former and the feelings go requited without compromise.

Well, last night; in the most sincere and even romantic of ways, the current Him said that he and the woman he’d been seeing on and off had discussed becoming monogamous and he was going to give it a go. Naturally, this is not what I wanted to hear; however, in the spirit of honesty and the respect for our friendship, how could I take the news that would bruise my heart badly? Yes, believe me, it felt like a mule kicked me in my gut, but again, he was open and honest with me and that means far more to me than losing him. The reality is that I haven’t lost him entirely; we’re still friends and will remain as such. We’ll continue to correspond; we just have to do it within different confines. I will not flirt and/or be suggestive in any way as that defiles both my integrity and his pending relationship.

I sincerely wished him well with his decision and told him that I hope she treats him well or she’ll have me to deal with. *lol* You know I had to go there.

All jokes aside, I can only love and respect him more for his candor and honesty and it attests to the wonderful man that he is inside and out. He even stated that ordinarily he’d just stop communicating, but his affinity toward me prevented him from doing that and I deserved the truth. Wow!

So, there you have it; the update on my love status. I guess I’ll resume my seat on the back of the bus and keep riding until it’s worth getting off again.

15 comments:

QueenBee said...

Ok, I must be honest as well. I think if that would have been me, we would have had mad sex like animals and then made him get out while I sat back and ate chicken wings dipped in ranch. Wow, I just wrote out loud what I was thinking. Uh huh!

chele said...

Glad he was honest with you.

Believer said...

"They" say it's better to have loved, than not to have loved at all.

I'm just glad to hear that he's being honest with himself, his partner, and you—his friend.

Keep the boundaries clear and guard your heart.

(((((((Hug)))))))

Blu Jewel said...

@Queen - I can ALWAYS count on you to say something to make me laugh.

@Chele - his honesty confirmed what I'd alreayd known about him; HE'S A GOOD GUY!

@Believer - Repeat what I said to Chele -

To all - We spoke earlier and he said, "I wish things could be different between us...My connection with u is incredible".

How can I not smile in spite of my sadness?

It's all possible!

Luv said...

well i am glad that you are ok with this. i don't know if i could have been this brave...actually, i do know that i couldn't/wouldn't.. when faced with a similar situation, i did the full, i showed my entire butt and was mainly mad that i didn't get to hump like a pack of wolves before i got my grub on...

i am striving for the maturity that you display...i know it's coming

Keith said...

Well he was honest and upfront with you and that says a lot.
Sounds like you had a real stand up guy.

There will be another..Summer is coming!

Mr.B2B said...

It's been a while since i passed by here Bluey...

First off:
You are gorgeous...
The pic proves that

Secondly:
The pic of the little babies looks so cute from where i am looking

Thirdly:
is that your house? Just confirming it.
You have nice taste in stuff...
That wine glass as well (if it is wine, or champagne)

Fourthy:
Love the pic of you in relaxation and the smile too. Maybe it is just the little black dress...
Hehehehehe

And now to the post, bittersweet is an amazing title especially the way you "feel" and accept the hard facts, but are happy for HIM at the same time...

Too bad he met you before i did!

Thanks for writing this Bluey…
I am just glad you have the time to drop a post when you can.

Blu Jewel said...

@Luv - The memory of the night we shared together left an indelible mark on me, so I'm okay with not having been able to "hump like a pack of wolves" lol! It's not easy to accept, but when someone comes to with the honesty, integrity, and compassion he did, how can you even be mad?

@Keith - He's a Nupe...nuff said? He's supposed to be on the east in June...hmmm? lol!

@B2B - 1) Thank you for saying I'm gorgeous. 2) The babies will be 4 this year. They're my twin niece/nephew. 3)yes, this is my house. I was in the living room sipping champagne before going out.4) Thanks again, and maybe it's all of what you said. "Bittersweet" is appropos. Bitter because it ended before it really started and sweet because at least I still have the friendship.

It's all possible!

Believer said...

I'm not sure if you're the award type, but I've nominated you, again [two in Jan and one this month]. :)

B2B said...

I just came by to see your pic. (no do not get the wrong idea Bluey)

T.C. said...

here's to you for even trying and for giving it a go!
i totally appreciate his honesty and i know that that in the end you will find what you deserve or better it'll find you...
i'm sitting next to you on the back of the bus and i'll keep you company

Luv said...

hope all is well haven't heard from u in a minute..i know u dealing with the snow like i am

Her Side said...

I haven't been on my blog thang for a serious minute.

First, I'm am SO glad honesty ruled the day, although the news was ugh. That integrity on his part leaves a future if it doesn't work out with his little experiment. (Do I sound bitter for you? lol)

Secondly, that new pic in the header is hawt. Don't hurt nobody. You know you got it goin' on Blu!

Hugs. Miss you much. Dayum I gotta get out of this house! I'm gonna burst if we can't have some catching-up time.

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Blu Jewel said...

@Believer - I'll be by to claim it

@B2B - And here's a new one

@ T.C - Thanks for your company sweetie. It's (he) going to find me; I'm confident of that.

@ Luv - I'm still around! Thanks for checking in.

@ Her Side - Hysterically LMBAO at you sounding bitter for me. You're such a good friend. {{hugs}} It's all going to work out. Why? Because if you can respond like that and you don't even know the entire history of The Him, then it's all going to be just fine. {{hugs}} again. Yes, we so REALLY need to get together and catch up. Thanks for the pic comp.

It's all possible!