As many know there’s a lot to be said about getting your game on; your creep on; you’re sexual prowess; and the like. Many think they have what it takes to successfully achieve the aforementioned, but self-praise is no guarantee of your capabilities; well unless your game is just that tight!
Here’s a few things that I know are essential to getting and keeping yourself in the game and not find yourself assed out and in a world of hurt.
PROBLEM – Standards…The person with whom you’re creeping with must have something to lose in the situation too.
SUGGESTION – Know a little more than their name, they look good, or have good freak potential. Keep your jump off at some distance so you’re not “bumping” into each other unnecessarily. Don’t overly reveal too much about your personal life; spouse; or S.O. Over sharing can be used against you.
PROBLEM - The Underwear Factor…If you’re creeping, the last thing you want to do is go home in soiled undies or in a color that you didn’t leave home in.
SUGGESTION - Get in the habit of wearing the same color/style as it safely prevents you from being found out. If the creep is a regular activity, leave undies as your jump-offs spot.
PROBLEM - The Scent Factor…Chances are you’ll want to clean up/shower after the deed is done and as not to draw attention to yourself by smelling a little too fresh and clean you have to exact some additional common sense practices.
SUGGESTION – As with leaving undies at the creep spot; leave the same scented lotion, perfume or colognes at their house. If that’s not possible, carry trial sizes of said products. Of to play it additionally safe, use unscented products or don’t wear a scent that day if you know you’re getting together.
PROBLEM – Talking Too Much…Yeah, “Roni/Tyrone” has some good ish with them, but your girl/boy doesn’t need to know or know everything/every detail.
SUGGESTION – Resist the urge to reveal and if you have to, make sure who you tell has as much or more so to lose as you. Also, is Roni tells Lisa or Tyrone tells Jordan that old girl/boy is working with something extra good, she/he could potentially tempt their friend to wanna sample the goodies.
PROBLEM – Alibi…If you’re married or living with someone, the last thing you should be doing is bringing your jump-off to the crib. Or if your bf/gf has a key to your crib and they may show up at anytime.
SUGGESTION – Find a cheap but decent hotel/motel to get your creep on at or if you’re really cool with a single friend who has an extra room, maybe you could use it. Remember said person has to be able to keep your secret. Most importantly, whomever is covering your back, make sure they’re completing in sync with the coverup.
PROBLEM – Needing to communicate during “off” hours....
SUGGESTION – If you have to call him/her block your number and their “other” answers, relax, be confident, and ask for a person of the same sex as the caller. This usually throws the person off. I know said limit who you tell, but in certain instances, you may need someone to intervene on your behalf. On said occasions, ensure that said person’s name has already been established so they’re not caught off guard. Furthermore, establish a word code to let each other know it’s safe to speak.
PROBLEM – Blurring the Line…Either you or the jump off is acting like feelings are being caught.
SUGGESTION – Talk it out if you can and if not, end that ish before it gets real messy. Hopefully, this will go off without incident. Remember Fatal Attraction is VERY real.
PROBLEM – Birth Control…This shouldn’t even be a problem. This is a MANDATORY part of the game. STDs or pregnancy should NOT be able to factor into what you’re doing. The last thing you need is to go home with something you didn't leave with.
SUGGESTION – Ladies, make sure you have your OWN method of BC and ensure he’s wearing a condom. Men, BRING YOUR OWN condoms. Sorry ladies, you know how shady we can get and a hole in a condom could yield more than just a pregnancy.
Okay boys and girls, don’t say you haven’t been learned…lol!
18 July 2007
friend, can you spare the time?
I read this post Too Busy, by Mizjj and it served as the catalyst for this post.
Over the past year or so, I've taken inventory on some people I afforded the title friend. I realized for some the title was ill-deserved and had to revoke their association with the word. There were a few that I increased their status because in so many ways, they were more deserving even though I'd known them for a lesser time than the former. I had to come to terms with quality over longevity and just because one has chronological time in, doesn't mean they were still worthy.
It pained me to have to make the choices I did, but I realized I was over-invested and residuals weren't yielding good dividends. I realized that I could no longer be in the deficit and allow myself to continually be the giver and less frequently the receiver.
Recently, I went through great pains to locate someone I'd known since I was 14. We shared a lot of history together and he was someone whom I'd always considered a dear friend. Upon finding him, we shared a few intense hours talking and catching up and I was sure things between us would maintain with some frequency; they haven't. I could very easily make attempts to contact him, but why? He has my number and if per chance, he lost it; his cousin whom I'm also friends with has it. I'm not that hard pressed that I'll sweat him to keep in touch. While I do miss him; especially after how good things went when last I saw him, I can't force someone to do something that no longer comes naturally to them.
I know someone else whom I once considered the twin soul. We were instant friends and things between us were great; well, so it seemed. Long story short, he's too busy. Too busy to even send a quick text message to say hi. Granted he does have a lot going on, but who doesn't? We're all busy in some respects, but if someone means as much to you as they say, then a few minutes should be better than none at all. The sad thing is that I used to really enjoy talking to him and he was my "escape" when my life got crazy. Now, he's just someone I know.
There was also this other guy I was close to, but he got all weird on me and while he'd profess his undying love for our friendship, he became more and more distant. We talked about it all at length and things improved for a while, but it went back to distant and strained so now, we just "check in" from time to time. It seems odd in some ways, but at least we know how things are with each other and where we stand, so there's no real beef or issue.
I used to think it was women who acted shady when it came to friendships, but it's more than obvious than men have their drama too. I've never really been one for close female friends or company and can count on a few fingers the women I'd consider BFFs. Those are the ones who are more like my heart sisters. I do have a male friend who's my BFF and even though we can work each others nerves; he to me moreso than me to he; I wouldn't stop being his friend unless he did something hella foul. We've had our share of disagreements, but he'll make time for me if/when necessary and would never tell me no if it was in his power to help me.
It's people like him and my heart sisters that make me treasure the word FRIENDSHIP. I no longer throw it around gracing people with an undeserved and unearned title. The word is far too precious and means too much to have it demeaned or defiled by the undeserving.
As the Capital One commercial says, "what's in your wallet?" I ask, who's in your corner?
Over the past year or so, I've taken inventory on some people I afforded the title friend. I realized for some the title was ill-deserved and had to revoke their association with the word. There were a few that I increased their status because in so many ways, they were more deserving even though I'd known them for a lesser time than the former. I had to come to terms with quality over longevity and just because one has chronological time in, doesn't mean they were still worthy.
It pained me to have to make the choices I did, but I realized I was over-invested and residuals weren't yielding good dividends. I realized that I could no longer be in the deficit and allow myself to continually be the giver and less frequently the receiver.
Recently, I went through great pains to locate someone I'd known since I was 14. We shared a lot of history together and he was someone whom I'd always considered a dear friend. Upon finding him, we shared a few intense hours talking and catching up and I was sure things between us would maintain with some frequency; they haven't. I could very easily make attempts to contact him, but why? He has my number and if per chance, he lost it; his cousin whom I'm also friends with has it. I'm not that hard pressed that I'll sweat him to keep in touch. While I do miss him; especially after how good things went when last I saw him, I can't force someone to do something that no longer comes naturally to them.
I know someone else whom I once considered the twin soul. We were instant friends and things between us were great; well, so it seemed. Long story short, he's too busy. Too busy to even send a quick text message to say hi. Granted he does have a lot going on, but who doesn't? We're all busy in some respects, but if someone means as much to you as they say, then a few minutes should be better than none at all. The sad thing is that I used to really enjoy talking to him and he was my "escape" when my life got crazy. Now, he's just someone I know.
There was also this other guy I was close to, but he got all weird on me and while he'd profess his undying love for our friendship, he became more and more distant. We talked about it all at length and things improved for a while, but it went back to distant and strained so now, we just "check in" from time to time. It seems odd in some ways, but at least we know how things are with each other and where we stand, so there's no real beef or issue.
I used to think it was women who acted shady when it came to friendships, but it's more than obvious than men have their drama too. I've never really been one for close female friends or company and can count on a few fingers the women I'd consider BFFs. Those are the ones who are more like my heart sisters. I do have a male friend who's my BFF and even though we can work each others nerves; he to me moreso than me to he; I wouldn't stop being his friend unless he did something hella foul. We've had our share of disagreements, but he'll make time for me if/when necessary and would never tell me no if it was in his power to help me.
It's people like him and my heart sisters that make me treasure the word FRIENDSHIP. I no longer throw it around gracing people with an undeserved and unearned title. The word is far too precious and means too much to have it demeaned or defiled by the undeserving.
As the Capital One commercial says, "what's in your wallet?" I ask, who's in your corner?
17 July 2007
Family Ties
First, let me thank you all for your immeasurable support and your words of encouragement and inspiration. In a world where people tend to shy away from those in need, it's nice to know there are still some that show up instead of walking up. You're simply the best!
I took a much need mini vacation and went to visit family and had a great time. I spent time with my older brother and family to include his in-laws who welcomed me like I was one of their own. That was a lovely feeling; especially when I have no blood relatives close to me outside of lil lady.
I also went to my cousin's wedding and hung out with the rest of the crazy cousins. We're the kind of people that we simply pick up where we left off and never worry about the lack of communication in between. We spend our time catching up, eating, drinking, and talking trash. If any of you have ever spent any time with a close knit Jamaican family, then you have an idea of what I'm talking about. If you haven't, you're missing a truly good time. My best friend Rayne, got her taste of my clan a few years ago and has become an honorary "Jamerican" and was welcomed into the clan. She looks forward to the annual get together in Orlando where the majority of the cousins live. We're planning for the upcoming one in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, I'll recover enough to tell you all about it, but trust me, some of the details are on a Vegas level *wink* so I won't be sharing everything.
Being around them filled me with love, warmth, closeness, and all the things I needed to refresh and rejuvenate myself. The time away was well worth the 6-hour drive one way to see them.
It's amazing how a few days away from work, home, and your usual environment can waken your senses, clear your mind, and help you to live a little better. I certainly know how important it is to treasure family and to make the most of your time together; as I said, I don't get to do it often.
We all get busy and we all have obligations, but take a little time out for yourself and for your family/friends/loved ones. What's the sense in acquiring all that leave time if you don't use it? Even if you can only take one day off, make it a good one and do something memorable.
I took a much need mini vacation and went to visit family and had a great time. I spent time with my older brother and family to include his in-laws who welcomed me like I was one of their own. That was a lovely feeling; especially when I have no blood relatives close to me outside of lil lady.
I also went to my cousin's wedding and hung out with the rest of the crazy cousins. We're the kind of people that we simply pick up where we left off and never worry about the lack of communication in between. We spend our time catching up, eating, drinking, and talking trash. If any of you have ever spent any time with a close knit Jamaican family, then you have an idea of what I'm talking about. If you haven't, you're missing a truly good time. My best friend Rayne, got her taste of my clan a few years ago and has become an honorary "Jamerican" and was welcomed into the clan. She looks forward to the annual get together in Orlando where the majority of the cousins live. We're planning for the upcoming one in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, I'll recover enough to tell you all about it, but trust me, some of the details are on a Vegas level *wink* so I won't be sharing everything.
Being around them filled me with love, warmth, closeness, and all the things I needed to refresh and rejuvenate myself. The time away was well worth the 6-hour drive one way to see them.
It's amazing how a few days away from work, home, and your usual environment can waken your senses, clear your mind, and help you to live a little better. I certainly know how important it is to treasure family and to make the most of your time together; as I said, I don't get to do it often.
We all get busy and we all have obligations, but take a little time out for yourself and for your family/friends/loved ones. What's the sense in acquiring all that leave time if you don't use it? Even if you can only take one day off, make it a good one and do something memorable.
11 July 2007
That which does not break us...
Since my last post, I've been going through something that has in no way caused me to doubt my faith or trust in God; it simply gave me pause. Shock and confusion and even a little denial took residence in my because the situation was completely the contrary to anything I could have imagined.
I'm surrounded by quality friends, family, a great pastor, and with them I know I'll be okay. As I read the Word and Ralph Marston's daily inspiration, I was reminded that one cannot sit in a fog nor should one limit themselves due to an illness, lack of confidence in something, or feel as if they're not good enough or worthy. There is much we can do if we put our minds to it and that which does not break us, will truly make us stronger.
"Negative thoughts fog your thinking and your perception. With each doubt, with each frustration, with each fear the fog grows heavier.
After a while, it becomes difficult to see how to move forward. And that just makes the fog even thicker.
The fog of negative thinking prevents you from seeing and acting on your best possibilities. Instead of focusing on moving forward, you're able only to give your attention to the petty distractions of the moment.
There is something, though, that will burn off that fog. It is determined, passionate, meaningful intention.
Give your energy to positive purpose, and the fog will begin to lift. Then step confidently through what's left of the fog, and you'll quickly leave it behind.
At times it may seem that there's no escaping the fog of your negative thoughts, yet at any time you can choose to be free. Fill your spirit with true purpose, and your best possibilities will come clearly into view." -- Ralph Marston
I'm in no way a quitter; never have been and never will be. I'm completely unbreakable, undeniable, and unsinkable. One of my talents aside from writing is, making it through the storm one way or another and this time will be no different. Negative thinking produces negative energy and there's already enough of that in the world, so I have to swim upstream even though the journey may be harder that way. I reflected on these words this morning and was inspired to finally get a post up...
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.”—Psalm 23:1-3". I read "he restores my soul" over and over again and couldn't help but feel uplifted and inspired. I am a child of God and He will take care of me.
We all know how short and precious life is and we all know how easy it is to get sidetracked and look at our trials negatively instead of realizing there is a lesson to be learned and testimony to profess. My trial has brought forth some healing, some overdure reconcilliation, and a lot of clarity. And for that alone, there is much to be grateful for. So, I implore each of you to find that which will not break you and make yourselves stronger. I implore each of you to have your soul restored. Most of all, be thankful and grateful each and every day and when that fog starts to set it, become that lighthouse; that beacon of strength, hope, and inspiration to yourself and others.
Love!
I'm surrounded by quality friends, family, a great pastor, and with them I know I'll be okay. As I read the Word and Ralph Marston's daily inspiration, I was reminded that one cannot sit in a fog nor should one limit themselves due to an illness, lack of confidence in something, or feel as if they're not good enough or worthy. There is much we can do if we put our minds to it and that which does not break us, will truly make us stronger.
"Negative thoughts fog your thinking and your perception. With each doubt, with each frustration, with each fear the fog grows heavier.
After a while, it becomes difficult to see how to move forward. And that just makes the fog even thicker.
The fog of negative thinking prevents you from seeing and acting on your best possibilities. Instead of focusing on moving forward, you're able only to give your attention to the petty distractions of the moment.
There is something, though, that will burn off that fog. It is determined, passionate, meaningful intention.
Give your energy to positive purpose, and the fog will begin to lift. Then step confidently through what's left of the fog, and you'll quickly leave it behind.
At times it may seem that there's no escaping the fog of your negative thoughts, yet at any time you can choose to be free. Fill your spirit with true purpose, and your best possibilities will come clearly into view." -- Ralph Marston
I'm in no way a quitter; never have been and never will be. I'm completely unbreakable, undeniable, and unsinkable. One of my talents aside from writing is, making it through the storm one way or another and this time will be no different. Negative thinking produces negative energy and there's already enough of that in the world, so I have to swim upstream even though the journey may be harder that way. I reflected on these words this morning and was inspired to finally get a post up...
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.”—Psalm 23:1-3". I read "he restores my soul" over and over again and couldn't help but feel uplifted and inspired. I am a child of God and He will take care of me.
We all know how short and precious life is and we all know how easy it is to get sidetracked and look at our trials negatively instead of realizing there is a lesson to be learned and testimony to profess. My trial has brought forth some healing, some overdure reconcilliation, and a lot of clarity. And for that alone, there is much to be grateful for. So, I implore each of you to find that which will not break you and make yourselves stronger. I implore each of you to have your soul restored. Most of all, be thankful and grateful each and every day and when that fog starts to set it, become that lighthouse; that beacon of strength, hope, and inspiration to yourself and others.
Love!
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