okay, so im confused :-/

What is with the number 3?  So, they say 3 strikes and you're out, but they say 3rd time's a charm, which is it?

I've been trying to figure this out and can't so I'm enlisting the assistance of my readers to aid in my understanding.  

Thanks!

Love to live; live to love!

The Power of Forgiveness

So, it's New Years Eve, late afternoon, and I'm in bed trying to take a nap.  I'm unsuccessful in my attempt and my mind is racing.  It's too early in the day to take a Xanax, so I'm laying there listening to the voices having a party in my head.  A nagging and annoying repetition comes to mind and I finally yield and text the words, "I forgive you".  I didn't really care if I got a reply or not as the text wasn't so much about him, but about me being able to finally let go of a pain I'd been carrying even though I thought I was over it.

Hours later, I get a text back saying, 

Him:  "I forgive you too, but who's this?"  

I knew he knew who it was, but I humored his reply and replied saying, 

Me:  "it's Blu".  

Him:  "well hello, happy new year".

Me:  "same to you"

Nothing more was said and closure was established...or so I thought.

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon...

So, I'm home and I have to leave the house thought I don't want to, so I'm procrastinating like a mug.  I end up on the landline with male BFF and my cell rings.  It's him!  I let it ring as I'm debating whether or not to answer the phone.  I finally answer, deciding that I have no reason to ignore him as it would then obligate me in some way to return his call.  After the initial caution, formalities, and small talk; we actually start having a conversation.  

Readers when I tell you that forgiveness closes a door and opens another, it truly does.  OMG! I can't even begin to tell you how therapeutic it's been for me.  We spoke for almost an hour, held back some tears, and put some real and true closure on the turn of events that ended our 12 year friendship.  Many heartfelt apologies were extended (he to me) and I accepted each one with genuine appreciation and extended a positive for any of his negatives.  By conversations end, we both felt so much better and wished each other well with our respective lives.  

I don't know when we'll speak again and it doesn't really matter.  What matters is that I listened to that nagging feeling and found a way to heal and move on.  And that journey of a single text, opened the floodgates of an amazing reunion with some old friends whom I haven't seen or spoken to in like 20 years.

I'll tell you that story another day.

Love!

well, it's about time!

Dearest readers:

I know it's been a long time since I've posted and there has been numerous reasons why I haven't posted, but I've missed it and all of you and have decided that I need to get back into not just blogging, but writing in general.

So, I ended 2008 with amazing blessings, healing, and closure.  When I tell you it was amazing, that pales in comparison to how it felt.  Awestruck is pretty much a good summation of it.  Well, with that said, I moved into 2009 poised, focused, happy, confident, just to name a few feelings.  

I truly feel that this year is going to be filled with so many wonderful things and that the universe will conspire in my favor and that things that due diligence will pay off.  

This is a short post, but rest assured, it will not be the last.

Love!

i hear dumb people

I was in Tuby Ruesday (as it became affectionately called after a few too many drinks) and I overheard a few guys talking about hooking up and things they consider deal breakers. The convo went something like this. All names created for ease of discussion.

Tom: When I'm hooking up, I want the girl with the cute friends and try to make it a group activitiy.

John: I want a girl who's gonna let the alcohol rule.

Mike: Yea, that's great, but who wants a girl with her own condom stash?

::enter crickets::

John: Whatcha saying dude?

Tom: A girl with her own condoms is cool. That means you've got more to party with.

Mike: Nah dude. If she's got her own stash that means she probably sleeps around.

::enter crickets again. a few stifled laughs and me with a WTF? expression::

John: Dude, you're an ass. Whadya mean she probably sleeps around? Safe sex is good. Safe and easy sex is even better.

Tom: Yea, if ya hooking up, you want it to be stress free and who wants to be all hot and bothered and then worry about condoms.

Mike: But that's not cool dude.

Okay, so by now my mind is going a mile a minute and I'm like, how dumb is Mike really? Being completely gobsmacked by the nonsense coming out of Mike's mouth that I continue to listen adn he tries to prove his point.

Mike: I mean if I'm hooking up and I'm at her place, I don't want her reaching into the drawer and going through an assortment of condoms. That makes her look easy and cheap.

John: Man, are you hearing yourself? You're a f*cking moron. If you're hooking up, the girl is probably easy in the first place dude, so you better be happy that she's got her own stash or you could get more than an easy lay.

::Tom and John high five. Mike ponders::

Mike: Yeah, but girls aren't supposed to be ready to hook up. We're men and we're sposed to be in charge and ready for the show.

I've now had my second beer and I'm trying to convince myself that the beer is taking control of my mental accuities and I"m really not hearing the crap Mike's spewing.

Tom: Dude with that attitude you shouldn't even be hooking up. You're too stupid to see and opportunity and take it.

John: Yea, and this way you get to either use more; if you can stay hard that long ::huge laughter:: or you'll have more of your own left for another time.

Mike: F*ck you! I don't care what you say. I don't want no girl who's got her own condom stash.

Fortunately, my friends joined showed up and saved me from anymore of the boylsheet that was coming from Mike. I couldn't believe he was that equally dumb and naive to think that the girls he was hooking up with werent easy and weren't smart enough to be responsible about their looseness. I replayed the conversation for my friends who shared in the concensus that Mike would be most likely to either get an STD or someone pregnant from a hook up.

It's sad that there are people who really think that women shouldn't have their own condom supply or might be offended by it. In this day and age, you can't be too careful with the person you're already in a relationship with let alone someone you're just hooking up with.

I'd rather see dead people than hear dumb ones.

Love!