17 December 2007

Joseph for example....

As I sat in church yesterday and listened to pastor talk about Joseph, "father" of Jesus, I thought about how important a father is in the life of his child/dren and how so many men have come to take that for granted.

While Joseph is only mentioned in 16 versus of the New Testament his role was not nearly as insiginifcant as his 16 versus, in fact he was extremely important and a positive role model for all men to follow. Why? Because although Joseph didn't immediately believe that he child was legitimately his; he accepted the word of the angels and assumed the role of father. He followed the word of God and supported Mary and raised Jesus as his own son. He didn't let anything stand in his way of supporting his family and treated Jesus no differently had he been his biological father.

Now, in a day and age where many men knowing create children, they are turning their backs on them as if the children are dispensible items. Correction, the condom should have been. I'm not letting the women off the hook here either because they should be protecting themselves against pregnancy too. That aside, my point goes back to the men. Many men in today's society are/were raised by a single mother. Many of these men never knew their father's and if they did the relationship was (in some instances) are strained one. Forgive me if I sound like I'm brow beating all men; I'm not. I'm merely pointing out some facts and not attacking those who have stepped up to the plate.

I digress. If you as a man are not willing, ready, or able to play your part in the childs life, then do whatever you can to prevent that pregnancy from occuring. If you have reason to believe that ol' girl was sharing her cookies, then be willing to take a paternity test. If the child is yours, then take care of him/her and be the best parent you can be. Furthermore, if you've decided to be with a women who already has children, still be a good role model for that child. Women, stop laying down with every and any man hoping he'll be a good daddy to that child.

Our children are having a hard time making it in this society and if we keep creating them without regard for their future, what kind of future will they have? I was recently over at Electronic Village and came across this article.
America has lost generation of black boys, which describes how black men are regarded in this country and how other countries are considering adpoting some of the US's policies.

I've said all this to say, that Joseph was a fine example of how a man, husband, and father should be. He followed God, supported his wife, and took care of his son. Granted Jesus was not biologically his, but he assumed his role and did it well. Fathers, be they biological, step, adoptive, surrogate, or godfathers need to step up to the plate and do their part. They need to look at Joseph as their example and follow his lead. Men, and the women who love them, I implore you to give these children the love, care, time, and attention they deserve and require. Women do your part also. If you're fortunate to have a supportive father to your child, tell him how much you appreciate his help, role, and love. Think of Mary and how she could have been divorced, disgraced, and disowned had Joseph not listened to the angels in his dream. Women, stop putting yourself in positions where paternity has to be questioned and/or challenged. Men stop helping to create children you're unwilling or unable to raise and play an active/positive role in their lives.

Parenting is a two person activity and we must remember and practice that.


BZ said...

And let the church say...Amen! I know there are good men out there, handling their business. At the same time, there are far too many that aren't.

At the end of the day: a man is the captain of his sperm, and a woman is the captain of her uterus.

Mr.Slish said...

Lovely post....I feel like Joseph sometimes...Just the other day my lady's son was play boxing with his mom...When he put his hands up he did it exactly the way I had shown him...I notice the change in him since I've been around...Some of it isn't good, but for the most part he makes me proud...

Mizrepresent said...

Hi5! Lady...i was going to do a post on the responsibility of men and how important it is for them to be in their children's lives. I am a single mother now and worry that my son is not getting the male parental involvement he so needs...i'm seeing signs...and my nephew is another case...he runs away at the drop of a hat...If we don't save them, who will? Great post!

Don said...

*standing ovation*

This is such a great and heartfelt post. You speak the definite truth.

Personally speaking, I once lost a good relationship with a good female because I failed (really didn't know how) to be a father figure to her young child. As I matured I realized my prior ignorance.

Blu Jewel said...

bz - exerting a little captainship would save our children a lot of bullshit and drama in their lives.

mr. slish - always a pleasure when you stop by. i'm happy to hear you're being a positive and active father figure in your girl's son's life. enjoy that "proud" feeling cause it means you're doing something right

Miz - i'm a single parent too and though lil lady's dad is in her life, there's so much more he can do. children need both male and female role models in their lives to create balance and cohesiveness. i hope people like us can and will make a change

don - first of all, i'm mad at you for having your shit locked and i can't get in. what's up with that? That aside, we're not taught how to be parents, but we must recognize that when a child is placed in our lives, we must do all we can and be all we can positively for him/her. Though you lost the relationship, I'm sure the learning lesson was something you'll hold on to and use.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

woman, u are so very right, i wrote something on this too, here s te link if u wna check it out state of the african american father

jali said...

Great post.
Repeat - not good.

Don said...

Yes, it is one of those lessons learned if ever placed into one of those positions again.

The blog will be back up before u know it.

Ali's Zay said...

Mmm mmm mmm... [shaking my head] As a black, divorced father of a little girl who lives with her mother, I’m astounded when I get compliments for taking care of my child, like I’m doing something special. But as I look around it becomes more and more apparent that taking care of ones offspring has indeed become a mark of distinction among black men, even when the couple is intact, let alone when the parents have separated.
As I see it, I don’t deserve any special award for the money I send for my daughter; the time I take to call her; making summer (when she stays with me,) as fun as possible; maintaining a genuine friendship with my ex-wife (who is just about the whiniest female I’ve ever known); or anything else that fathers are suppose to do. The special bond I have with my daughter is all the reward I could ever want. What I don’t understand is why what seems so obvious and precious to me is so difficult for so many to understand. For sure, there are some great black fathers out there, but I think most would agree: there is something fundamentally wrong in our communities when our biggest fear in life is the lack of suitable mates for our daughters. Then again, with all the trifling going on, our sons seem to have it only a little bit better.
Blu, I sure wish you had a son. Knowing you the way I do, I would happily marry my daughter to any son you raised.

Peace and Love,

Ali’s Zay (LoversA.bogspot.com

Blu Jewel said...

torrence - *blush* i'm flattered and will certainly check out your post

jali - thanks for the visit and the compliment.

don - the mark of growth is knowing how to use the lesson learned and it sounds like you've got what it takes if there's a next time. And you had better get that blog back up...lol!

Zay - what can I say? First, I'm so humbled by your closing statement about if I had a son. Wow! That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. That aside, I applaud you not for being a good father, but knowing how to be a good father and taking the time to be one. You have and are doing what you are supposed to do; not obligated to do. Your daughter's self-image, self-respect, and growth will be founded on what you've instilled in her by being a good man. For that you deserve kudos. You have now given me something else to blog about. Thanks bruh!

Anonymous said...

You definitely have tapped into something that deserves more discussion.

Rosemarie said...

Having sex can lead to bigger responsibilities. Participants need to think before they play. Dang! This is personal for me. Little girls need their fathers.

Darlene said...

Well said.