03 February 2009

errant sprinklings of jewel dust

Okay, i know i've not blogged in a few weeks and i honestly don't know why not. well, i do, but that's a story for another day. i'm doing well, living life, and am completely and absurdly happy. i feel blessed beyond measure and suffer fools gladly as they try to steal my joy or try to intrude in my life where they're not wanted.

the following are some errant thoughts and things that have happened of late:

so, Mr. Toolbelt comes out of nowhere to call me @ 4:30 AM; yes, i said AM and talks a whole bunch of f*ckery of which made no logical sense to me given that we haven't spoken in months. the ONLY reason i even answered the phone was because i thought he was someone else. damn, those very close area codes...516 BAD 561 good. the former is the Toolbelts area code; so now you understand the blurry eyed confusion. about 5 days post his inappropriate call, he takes to phone stalking me. yes...really! this 41 y/o man resorts to this juvenile behaviour thinking it's going to impress me...NOT!!! This goes on for about 4 days tallying a total of 18 calls between my cell and work phone and 2 txts with his number to call him back...to date i have not and will not. this was all so disturbing to me that i had to consult with Mr. Slish our resident relationship advisor and life coach to get his take on the situation. as expected, he provided great insight and suggested i blog the story because it; in spite of its foolishness is rather funny. we'll see!

that aside, i'm debating whether or not i should continue to see my current beau whom we'll call Grandy. he's got 9 years on me and has grands; hence, his moniker. he's a great guy and i enjoy his company and spending time with him, but there are a few things that are leaving room for pause and doubt. so now i'm evaluating things and will have to have "the talk" with him to make a final decision.

and i jumped back in the pool why? *sigh*

lil lady and i have the most amazing relationship. we can and do talk about anything and everything. it's amazing how much she's grown and developed in the past year. we totally enjoy sharing time together and doing things; even if it's nothing more than a tv date night. parenting; though stressful at times; truly can be a fantastic experience. i'm loving it!

i finally updated my Facebook profile; posted my gov't name and have connected with some high school and college peeps and have even got some bloggers on my Friends List. i hope i'm better at this than i was on MySpace.

let me tell you about Steve. he's the 18 y/o libido that lives inside of me and he's one horny lil freaker. this is definitely a TMI moment, but indulge me if you will...since both turning 40, coming out of celibacy (after 2yrs), and just being at complete peace with myself, i finally WANT to have sex. and to make matters worse, my drive is like that of an 18 y/o boy; hence, why i actually named my libido. it's really scary how often i think about sex or want to have it. it's fortunate that i'm not the "sleep around" kind of gal or they'd be some broke men out there after i got done with them. i'm trying to take some control over Steve, but that lil freaker is strong and puts up a good damn fight for independence. i won't further ask you to indulge in any more TMI rantings, so we'll end here with this topic.

work is great! how many people can actually say that and mean it? i have a job that is only a 20 minute commute; i work 4 ten-hour days; giving me Friday's off and where necessary, i can flip my schedule. i enjoy the work i do, accept the challenges, and work with a great group of people. i can go home each day knowing i've accomplished something and that my work does not go unnoticed.

as i said in the opening of this post, i'm absurdly happy. in fact, this is the happiest i've been in years. i think; no, i know that it's because i refuse to accept drama in my life. i live my mantra love to live; live to love each day. i pray, meditate, and give thanks each and every day for my life and health. i find the beauty in each day even then things can and do go wrong. i don't dwell on what i don't have because there's plenty that i do have. i'm infinitely and divinely at peace.

i'm taking my first trip of 2009 next week to spend some time with friends/family and i can't wait.

for those who haven't seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; should. it's a great movie with a great story line and promotes many positive messages. what i learnt the most was...life is a series of opportunities missed or taken. i probably didn't quote it exactly, but i know i am close. i choose to take as many opportunities as i can and enjoy them. i want to have quantity of life and have amazing memories in the process.

well, i better get some work done. have a fantastic day and may blessings be upon each of you.

love to live; live to love!


chele said...

Great message which is greatly appreciated!

Organized Noise said...

Thanks for posting. You were being missed.

You kind of threw me off when you put your government name on facebook. Luckily you added pics so I knew it was you.

There's no such thing as TMI in the blogosphere, so feel free to share more "Steve" stories.

Blu Jewel said...

@ Chele - thanks! in spite of the sometimes madness i go through; i still try to say something inspirational or positive.

@ Org - Aww! thanks hun! I got "told" about not having my gov't name on FB. I didn't want to, but realized folk might not be able to find me otherwise. I'm still wondering if I "want" to be found. LOL! LMAO @ "There's no such thing as TMI in the blogosphere, so feel free to share more "Steve" stories." We'll see!

love to live; live to love!

Hawa Bond said...

Hey, Blu!

Your posts never cease to inspire and/or ignite a smile. Am I going to read about "Steve" hurting somebody in the newspaper? LOL

Love you!

Hawa, author of Fackin Truth Blog and Cleanse Master Remix

BZ said...

I'm so happy for you!!!! I feel you on the Steve issue. I've had a "Steve" since I was 19. And, he has yet to give me peace! *sigh* LOL

I'm really glad life and work and your relationship with your daughter all seem so lovely! Stay blessed.

Hugs & Love

Blu Jewel said...

@ Hawa - I aim to please...lol! As for "Steve", we better NOT end up being read about somewhere, but keep some bail money on stash just in case. *wink*

@ BZ - Thanks sweetie! Staying up and blessed isn't optional; it's a way of life. So, I guess we need to talk more about our respective "Steve's". I'll be calling you for real. They're sneaky and dirty lil freakers aren't they?! *lol*

love to live; live to love!

Keith said...

Hey Blu- Welcome Back..I missed you.(Thanks for adding me as a link..I added you too.)

I so envy your job situation..Fridays off..I'd kill to
have that arrangement..

The "libido" named Steve was funny.
What you feel is natural because you're just coming off of celibacy.
Some Man out there is going to either be the luckiest man alive or
exhausted or both, when you do make a decision.-lololol.

me said...

Good luck.

Mr.Slish said...

Blogging about feels so good doesn't it....Like you've just exhaled...lol

Believer 1964 said...

No wonder we haven't heard from you—busy and happy. That's good news!

Blu Jewel said...

@ Keith - you're a sweetheart and I appreciate the add. As for "Steve" I'm trying to keep him on a short and tight leash; he's getting really scary. LOL @ your reaction to the man I get with.

@me - Thanks...I might need it!

@Slish - Yea, I'm living my own version of Waiting to Exhale!!! Thanks again!

@Believer - Busy and happy is a very good thing.

love to live; live to love!

Ms.Honey said...

LOL ok The curious case of benjamin was GREAT def a must get when it comes out on DVD...I'm sooo mad you named your libido LOL but I get like that sometimes not naming it but feeling like someone can't keep up with me...hmmm Grandy lol wow....you're on facebook i'm off the space..great i'll have to find ya :)

Blu Jewel said...

@ Honey - Yea, I'll be getting it too. LOL@ you being 'mad' that I named my libido. Girl, that dang thing is really like having another person living inside of me, so it deserved a name. Grandy is a sweetie, but The Talk is necessary. I can't invest and get no yield on it; the market is bad enough; don't need that mess in my personal life. Yea, look me up, I'm on Org and Mr. Slish's lists.

love to live; live to love!