Okay, someone help me understand (if you can), why is it when we find out someone we know/knew is gay, that we suddenly have to form an opinion about it?
Here's why i'm asking. So, last week, a friend sends me an email telling me about an old high school friend whom he at one time "suspected" was gay and recently found out it was true. This is bits and pieces of what he had to say..."...finally get in touch with an old junior high school and high school classmate...emails me that her "partner" and her have an 18 yr old daughter... always wondered but never knew that she liked to licky, licky, licky...conflicted in my own beliefs...don't condone her life style; however, it is her choice and she must live it."
I must admit, I was rather put off by his comment. I mean, why should what they be of conflict to him? In addition, he made it seem as though her choice was offensive. Am I the only one who sees it that way?
Personally, I've never had an issue with the sexuality of someone else. I mean, why should I? It's of no consequence to me, they're not hurting me, and basically, it's none of my business. I have gay friends and I don't pry into their sexual habits or comment on it. I have a transgendered friend whom I absolutely adore and she is one of my best and dearest friends. Barring an occasion here or there when a lesbian has made an overly aggressive pass at me, I've never been offended by gays. I treated the pass as I would a man and went on about my business.
What happens in their lives or communities is pretty much similar to what happens in a hetrosexual community with the exception of the flags; seeing as hetrosexuals don't have a banner or flag to announce their orientation. I must admit, that is the one thing that kind of struck me as off, but again, I'm not offended by it.
So, back to what I don't get. Why would someone be "conflicted in their beliefs" because of the lifestyle of another? That's like me saying, I'm conflicted over someone's race or religion. I mean, come on already. With so many people being water-tight-like-a-ducks-ass it's no wonder why there are so many men (and women) on the DL (down-low). Why do we have to make what others do our business? I admit, I've gotten caught up in my fair share of gossip on this matter and other matters, but it's on that premise and maturity that I realize it has nothing to do with me. As long as my sexuality is respected, then I respect anyone else's.
I'm sure each of us has our thoughts on the matter and it's usually tends to be for religious reasons, but let me pump your brakes right there, because we all KNOW that there are many in the church who are gay. We also know that God made each of us so we can't go around judging folk. In addition, there are many gay couples whose relationships have outlasted many straight people's. We all need to practice some understanding and tolerance the same way blacks, Jews, women; and so son want it. Is that really too much to ask?
So, in closing, I go back to my intro. "I don't get it!"
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
19 June 2007
14 June 2007
Release the thong!
Okay, so ladies, I said, we weren’t to be excluded from my bashing, so tighten your bra straps cause here it comes…
What is with us saying we want a man who we know is damn near impossible to find and turning our eyes off a brother who doesn’t fit into the nice little package we think he’s going to come in? I mean, what the hell are we thinking. Why turn down a blue-collar worker because we think he won't get it, fit into our social circle, or that our friends/family won't approve. He's a man for crying out loud and we can't sleep on him just because he doens't fit whatever stupid mold we think he should. Here’s an example…my sister lived by this notion for quite some time and found herself rather unhappy with the men in the dating pool until she came across the man who is now her husband. He didn’t come in the pretty little package she’d created in her mind and she realized that getting what you need in a man is better than the man you want. They're completely committed to each other and have all the things with/for each other that they wanted. That's what love is about; not that bullshit that we've created.
What's with those of us that have multiple children from multiple partners? Its’ bad enough some of the brothers won’t own up to a child being theirs emotionally, financially, or socially, so why put the child/ren through any more grief? What is Lil Ty’s daddy is taking care of him, but Janeequa and Keshawn’s dad isn’t? Or what about LaShawn’s dad who is, but Pookie’s isn’t? The damage this causes is the stuff that keeps therapists paid when these kids are adults. We must ensure we have out own method of birth control in the event his fails.
How about those of us who get pregnant by men we know are less than stellar in so many ways and then complain about his “trifling ass” after the fact? How come we don’t hold ourselves accountable for our role in the pregnancy, take care of our child as best we can, and pursue child support and pray we get it. In the event, his “trifling ass” can’t, won’t, or don’t pay, then don’t run out to Foot Locker for the latest baby Jordan’s that h/she who’s not even walking yet don’t need; or will grow out of in a heart beat in h/she can walk. There’s no need for that child to be in the latest fashions when you’re trying to manage taking care of both of you on a shoestring budget. Trust and believe that child has no idea what Baby Phat or Roc a Wear is. And not to forget, you might wanna holla at your girl and let her perm your hair or wash and set it a time or two and cut back on those biweekly hair appointments; you’ll still be beautiful.
For those of us sitting up there talking about how women are being degraded, treated poorly, and whatnot, but we’re up in the club dressed in clothing that screams “hooker” and carrying on in kind. If we want to be treated like the queens, ladies, or empresses that we descended from, then we need to act accordingly. Tell that brother to step off he can’t “let me holla atcha boo” in a polite way. He may call us a “bitch” or say, “you ain’t cute anyway”, but let’s not get all up in arms about it if we know we’re not what he claims we are. All he’s doing is trying to mask his wounded ego and that should show us he wasn’t worth the time of day anyway; even if he is cute. Looks should never supersede his personality or lack thereof.
Now, I’m all for a woman wearing clothes that flatter her figure (large, small, or in between), but I’m sick to death of my sisters being out there in low-rise jeans with their thongs and ass-crack out. Big-breasted women should not be where spaghetti straps unless she’s properly reinforced. We don’t need to wear mini skirts that are a second shy of showing off the coochie that is probably barely covered by a thong, dippin it low, getting our eagle on, droppopanlockin it.
I’m gonna stop here because I think I’ve sufficiently made my point, but in closing I must say the following:
Ladies we can and should carry ourselves in a respectful manner if we want to be treated as such. Granted there are times when a man will act up even when we’re acting right, but can’t reduce ourselves to his level unless it's absolutely necessary. Then by all means, go Malcolm on his ass. We can get our “freak on” without demeaning ourselves. We must stop allowing our sexual activities to be videotaped unless we’re absolutely sure it won’t be used against us; and even then you still gotta watch out. We must teach our daughters well and stop telling them to use what they've got to get what they want. Ensure they be educated and know the power of the mind will outweigh looks any day. We must start standing together, get over our ‘women’ hatred, and build ourselves up. If we don’t do it, no one else can or will and we’ll continue to sell ourselves out as “the other society” already sees us.
Love!
What is with us saying we want a man who we know is damn near impossible to find and turning our eyes off a brother who doesn’t fit into the nice little package we think he’s going to come in? I mean, what the hell are we thinking. Why turn down a blue-collar worker because we think he won't get it, fit into our social circle, or that our friends/family won't approve. He's a man for crying out loud and we can't sleep on him just because he doens't fit whatever stupid mold we think he should. Here’s an example…my sister lived by this notion for quite some time and found herself rather unhappy with the men in the dating pool until she came across the man who is now her husband. He didn’t come in the pretty little package she’d created in her mind and she realized that getting what you need in a man is better than the man you want. They're completely committed to each other and have all the things with/for each other that they wanted. That's what love is about; not that bullshit that we've created.
What's with those of us that have multiple children from multiple partners? Its’ bad enough some of the brothers won’t own up to a child being theirs emotionally, financially, or socially, so why put the child/ren through any more grief? What is Lil Ty’s daddy is taking care of him, but Janeequa and Keshawn’s dad isn’t? Or what about LaShawn’s dad who is, but Pookie’s isn’t? The damage this causes is the stuff that keeps therapists paid when these kids are adults. We must ensure we have out own method of birth control in the event his fails.
How about those of us who get pregnant by men we know are less than stellar in so many ways and then complain about his “trifling ass” after the fact? How come we don’t hold ourselves accountable for our role in the pregnancy, take care of our child as best we can, and pursue child support and pray we get it. In the event, his “trifling ass” can’t, won’t, or don’t pay, then don’t run out to Foot Locker for the latest baby Jordan’s that h/she who’s not even walking yet don’t need; or will grow out of in a heart beat in h/she can walk. There’s no need for that child to be in the latest fashions when you’re trying to manage taking care of both of you on a shoestring budget. Trust and believe that child has no idea what Baby Phat or Roc a Wear is. And not to forget, you might wanna holla at your girl and let her perm your hair or wash and set it a time or two and cut back on those biweekly hair appointments; you’ll still be beautiful.
For those of us sitting up there talking about how women are being degraded, treated poorly, and whatnot, but we’re up in the club dressed in clothing that screams “hooker” and carrying on in kind. If we want to be treated like the queens, ladies, or empresses that we descended from, then we need to act accordingly. Tell that brother to step off he can’t “let me holla atcha boo” in a polite way. He may call us a “bitch” or say, “you ain’t cute anyway”, but let’s not get all up in arms about it if we know we’re not what he claims we are. All he’s doing is trying to mask his wounded ego and that should show us he wasn’t worth the time of day anyway; even if he is cute. Looks should never supersede his personality or lack thereof.
Now, I’m all for a woman wearing clothes that flatter her figure (large, small, or in between), but I’m sick to death of my sisters being out there in low-rise jeans with their thongs and ass-crack out. Big-breasted women should not be where spaghetti straps unless she’s properly reinforced. We don’t need to wear mini skirts that are a second shy of showing off the coochie that is probably barely covered by a thong, dippin it low, getting our eagle on, droppopanlockin it.
I’m gonna stop here because I think I’ve sufficiently made my point, but in closing I must say the following:
Ladies we can and should carry ourselves in a respectful manner if we want to be treated as such. Granted there are times when a man will act up even when we’re acting right, but can’t reduce ourselves to his level unless it's absolutely necessary. Then by all means, go Malcolm on his ass. We can get our “freak on” without demeaning ourselves. We must stop allowing our sexual activities to be videotaped unless we’re absolutely sure it won’t be used against us; and even then you still gotta watch out. We must teach our daughters well and stop telling them to use what they've got to get what they want. Ensure they be educated and know the power of the mind will outweigh looks any day. We must start standing together, get over our ‘women’ hatred, and build ourselves up. If we don’t do it, no one else can or will and we’ll continue to sell ourselves out as “the other society” already sees us.
Love!
13 June 2007
Man up bitch!
I’m so sick and tired of men deferring to their women as if they can’t do shit for themselves.
A good friend of mine was recently offered a new position with a 30k pay increase that she’s not sure she's going to take because she’s worried about her kids and not being readily accessible to them because the new position is like an hour commute away. I was like, are you )*%#)&%)# serious?” She’s a great mother and wife who’s more than sacrificed for her family. The position would be a great career move for her, but again she’s not sure because her husband asked her who’d get the child(ren) if they’re sick at school? MAN THE F*UCK UP BEYAH! You get them! You’d be closer and they are YOUR kids for crying out loud. As I said, she's more than sacrificed for her children and husband, so why shouldn't she do something for herself? *sheesh*
This leads me to other areas where men need to man up.
So, he knew the consequences of unprotected sex or not ensuring both parties are ready, willing, and able to take care of a child should one result from the union. Chick comes up pregnant and now he don’t know what he wants to do. She says, she’s keeping it and of course he’d have financial, emotional, and other paternal responsibilities toward the child. At first, he’s hot and wants nothing to do with it, but along the way changes his mind and he’s all in. Months after the child is born, he opts out. WTF? Chick moves on, raises their child, and then ends up in a relationship with the next dude who’s willing to love your child cause you won’t. Now his bitch ass wants to be up in arms cause the next man is raising his child? Bitch please! Should have played his part from the get.
Or how about when folk want to be up in arms because a stressed out young mother snaps and takes it out on the child? I’m not saying she couldn’t have asked for help or whatnot, but where was dude when she was stressed out and on her own? Where was some intervention PRIOR to her snapping out? It’s all her fault when something bad happens and not the father’s right? Wrong!
Grown ass men living up home until they well into their 30’s and even 40’s. What’s up with that? How can he have a functional relationship with a woman at his mother’s house? Dude, man up! Get an efficiency, split the rent with your boy, but living at home unless there’s some major change occurring is simply not a good look. Mother’s, STOP babying your sons and turning them into dependent and some times lazy men that can’t, don’t, or won’t do for self and expect some other women do treat them like their momma does.
Brothers, please stop sporting tricked out whips and living in the damn hood, projects, or whatever else you wanna call it. I mean, if you can invest 100k in a whip with full amenities, then you can afford a small crib. Yeah, it’s a given that for the most part, your whip was acquired by questionable means, but the same way you go the whip, you can get a crib out of the hood and take some of the damn stigma off yourselves.
Grown ass men dressing like teenage “thugs” is NOT a good look. Man up and wear something more age appropriate and put a damn belt on.
All this bravado and such is a full-fledged farce anymore because men just aren’t being men. Stop peacocking around flailing your feathers and just man up already. Seems like y’all the ones needing sanitary products these days with all the bitching you do.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my brothers I really do, but I’m just sick and tired of our men deferring out and not manning up to their responsibilities. Those that fit this bill know they’re wrong for how they’re acting. Yes, we know you’ve got it hard, yes, we know ‘The Man’ ain’t checking for you, and we know it’s hard being a black man; hell any man, but don’t make it easier for someone to emasculate you because you’re not playing your part. A real man does what he needs to do, takes care of his responsibilities, and strives to live and get right.
And ladies...don't think we're getting off easy cause I've got something else brewing where we're concerned.
A good friend of mine was recently offered a new position with a 30k pay increase that she’s not sure she's going to take because she’s worried about her kids and not being readily accessible to them because the new position is like an hour commute away. I was like, are you )*%#)&%)# serious?” She’s a great mother and wife who’s more than sacrificed for her family. The position would be a great career move for her, but again she’s not sure because her husband asked her who’d get the child(ren) if they’re sick at school? MAN THE F*UCK UP BEYAH! You get them! You’d be closer and they are YOUR kids for crying out loud. As I said, she's more than sacrificed for her children and husband, so why shouldn't she do something for herself? *sheesh*
This leads me to other areas where men need to man up.
So, he knew the consequences of unprotected sex or not ensuring both parties are ready, willing, and able to take care of a child should one result from the union. Chick comes up pregnant and now he don’t know what he wants to do. She says, she’s keeping it and of course he’d have financial, emotional, and other paternal responsibilities toward the child. At first, he’s hot and wants nothing to do with it, but along the way changes his mind and he’s all in. Months after the child is born, he opts out. WTF? Chick moves on, raises their child, and then ends up in a relationship with the next dude who’s willing to love your child cause you won’t. Now his bitch ass wants to be up in arms cause the next man is raising his child? Bitch please! Should have played his part from the get.
Or how about when folk want to be up in arms because a stressed out young mother snaps and takes it out on the child? I’m not saying she couldn’t have asked for help or whatnot, but where was dude when she was stressed out and on her own? Where was some intervention PRIOR to her snapping out? It’s all her fault when something bad happens and not the father’s right? Wrong!
Grown ass men living up home until they well into their 30’s and even 40’s. What’s up with that? How can he have a functional relationship with a woman at his mother’s house? Dude, man up! Get an efficiency, split the rent with your boy, but living at home unless there’s some major change occurring is simply not a good look. Mother’s, STOP babying your sons and turning them into dependent and some times lazy men that can’t, don’t, or won’t do for self and expect some other women do treat them like their momma does.
Brothers, please stop sporting tricked out whips and living in the damn hood, projects, or whatever else you wanna call it. I mean, if you can invest 100k in a whip with full amenities, then you can afford a small crib. Yeah, it’s a given that for the most part, your whip was acquired by questionable means, but the same way you go the whip, you can get a crib out of the hood and take some of the damn stigma off yourselves.
Grown ass men dressing like teenage “thugs” is NOT a good look. Man up and wear something more age appropriate and put a damn belt on.
All this bravado and such is a full-fledged farce anymore because men just aren’t being men. Stop peacocking around flailing your feathers and just man up already. Seems like y’all the ones needing sanitary products these days with all the bitching you do.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my brothers I really do, but I’m just sick and tired of our men deferring out and not manning up to their responsibilities. Those that fit this bill know they’re wrong for how they’re acting. Yes, we know you’ve got it hard, yes, we know ‘The Man’ ain’t checking for you, and we know it’s hard being a black man; hell any man, but don’t make it easier for someone to emasculate you because you’re not playing your part. A real man does what he needs to do, takes care of his responsibilities, and strives to live and get right.
And ladies...don't think we're getting off easy cause I've got something else brewing where we're concerned.
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