13 June 2007

Man up bitch!

I’m so sick and tired of men deferring to their women as if they can’t do shit for themselves.

A good friend of mine was recently offered a new position with a 30k pay increase that she’s not sure she's going to take because she’s worried about her kids and not being readily accessible to them because the new position is like an hour commute away. I was like, are you )*%#)&%)# serious?” She’s a great mother and wife who’s more than sacrificed for her family. The position would be a great career move for her, but again she’s not sure because her husband asked her who’d get the child(ren) if they’re sick at school? MAN THE F*UCK UP BEYAH! You get them! You’d be closer and they are YOUR kids for crying out loud. As I said, she's more than sacrificed for her children and husband, so why shouldn't she do something for herself? *sheesh*

This leads me to other areas where men need to man up.

So, he knew the consequences of unprotected sex or not ensuring both parties are ready, willing, and able to take care of a child should one result from the union. Chick comes up pregnant and now he don’t know what he wants to do. She says, she’s keeping it and of course he’d have financial, emotional, and other paternal responsibilities toward the child. At first, he’s hot and wants nothing to do with it, but along the way changes his mind and he’s all in. Months after the child is born, he opts out. WTF? Chick moves on, raises their child, and then ends up in a relationship with the next dude who’s willing to love your child cause you won’t. Now his bitch ass wants to be up in arms cause the next man is raising his child? Bitch please! Should have played his part from the get.

Or how about when folk want to be up in arms because a stressed out young mother snaps and takes it out on the child? I’m not saying she couldn’t have asked for help or whatnot, but where was dude when she was stressed out and on her own? Where was some intervention PRIOR to her snapping out? It’s all her fault when something bad happens and not the father’s right? Wrong!

Grown ass men living up home until they well into their 30’s and even 40’s. What’s up with that? How can he have a functional relationship with a woman at his mother’s house? Dude, man up! Get an efficiency, split the rent with your boy, but living at home unless there’s some major change occurring is simply not a good look. Mother’s, STOP babying your sons and turning them into dependent and some times lazy men that can’t, don’t, or won’t do for self and expect some other women do treat them like their momma does.

Brothers, please stop sporting tricked out whips and living in the damn hood, projects, or whatever else you wanna call it. I mean, if you can invest 100k in a whip with full amenities, then you can afford a small crib. Yeah, it’s a given that for the most part, your whip was acquired by questionable means, but the same way you go the whip, you can get a crib out of the hood and take some of the damn stigma off yourselves.

Grown ass men dressing like teenage “thugs” is NOT a good look. Man up and wear something more age appropriate and put a damn belt on.

All this bravado and such is a full-fledged farce anymore because men just aren’t being men. Stop peacocking around flailing your feathers and just man up already. Seems like y’all the ones needing sanitary products these days with all the bitching you do.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my brothers I really do, but I’m just sick and tired of our men deferring out and not manning up to their responsibilities. Those that fit this bill know they’re wrong for how they’re acting. Yes, we know you’ve got it hard, yes, we know ‘The Man’ ain’t checking for you, and we know it’s hard being a black man; hell any man, but don’t make it easier for someone to emasculate you because you’re not playing your part. A real man does what he needs to do, takes care of his responsibilities, and strives to live and get right.

And ladies...don't think we're getting off easy cause I've got something else brewing where we're concerned.


Anonymous said...

Uhhhh...this is me keeping my head down until the storm is over! LOL

No, Ma, you're right. It's why we don't seem to be able to get ahead, no responsibility, no prioritization of the important things, no positive legacy for the next generation, no financial literacy and...

too much empowerment and positive reinforcement from our women to be that way.

I'll be back for the flip side, but I can already tell you that we are all in this together and it's going to take all of us to get through, get by, get ahead and get on top.

Honey-Libra said...

What in the devil...for that much pay increase he could leave work early and pick them up..I tell ya. Compromise mannnn.

He really does need to man up along with other men who are insecure with themselves

B.m.W said...

Wow...it's true. One of the funniest monologues I've ever heard a comedian do went like so:

"I'm so sick of people not taking care of their kids. It makes no sense. I had this brotha come up to me after a show one time talkin' bout, "I'm a real man. I take care of all my kids". What you want for that? A cookie?!? That's what you supposed to do."

So, I can feel you when you wonder why he'd ask some ignorant crap like that right after hearing '$30,000 pay increase'.

deepnthought said...

And that is that on that. why am I up over her clapping. I cant wait to read the flip side.

I so agree with all of this. It is almost like you were listening to the conversation I had with my brother a couple of days ago. He was saying the exact same thing. (except for your fiend.) He is 27 with two children and owns homes and he said he is not to be commended for doing what he is supposed to do. Providing support and love for his wife and children.

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!!!!!!! I can feel the intensity in your words!! That's a lot for a man to swallow, so he better have some balls before reading this!! But I agree with you! Today's men need to MAN UP!!

Blu Jewel said...

sojo - lol @ keeping your head down. so glad i got a man's take on this cause the majority of my readers are female. even better was your agreeing with my statements because at least i know i'm not sitting here male bashing without cause.

honey - girl, that man is dumber than duck shit. when she told me that mess, my instant words were this post's title! *smh*

b.m.w - great to get another males take on this. women take care of kids and aren't braggin about what they're doing, so i too get pissed when i hear a man saying what he's doing for his kids. worst yet..."I'm babysitting my kids" WTH?

deepinthought - you have a good brother and he's being a good father/husband. yes, he should be commended for that, but not EXPECT to be commended for that. *lol* @ you clapping over this post.

urban - lol @ having balls to read this. so many men NEED to hear this told to them and often until it sinks in.

A woman on the move said...


Just reinforcing the reasons why I widen my dating pool. Not saying no other race has men who are losers. But damn it, I’ll have more odds in my favor!

As far as your girl. I am sad that she’s lost herself in her obligation to be there for her family. This is why I am making that sacrifices now (while I have no family) to get dirty and get my paper. But at the end of the day, it’s only the depths of a mother’s love.

Eddie Nicole said...

Girl all I read was the first sentence and I am already commenting. This topic is totally up my alley. I feel like we have a sister circle going. Men should definitely tune in!

Mizrepresent said...

Loving this! So true!

Anonymous said...

You had me at the beginning of this post! and you used my favorite phrase... MAN UP! Love it. My family says I use it too much. But it seems to fit a plethora of situations including this one with your friend. I won't get started on this subject I won't blog in your comments. But *WHEW* that burns my butt too!

An Aquarian Thought said...

Sometimes the lack of support that we get from our brothas can be quite depressing (not to mention devastating). As much as I try not to beat up on them, I must agree that many often fall short when it comes to being a father or husband, I think because they never learned to be and are frustrated and embarrassed by that fact. I just try to focus on the accomplishments that they do make, because they need the encouragement and the push. Glad that you got that off your chest, though.

Blu Jewel said...

WOTM - i agree that there are good and bad in all races and additionally agree with not limiting your dating optiosn. i refuse to settle just because he's black.

i haven't followed up with my girl, but i am praying that she'll take the job.

eddie nicole - thanks for coming over; nice to have you. lmao@ you commenting from the first line. this has been on my mind for some time and my friend gave me the ammo to shoot the gun.

ingrid - feel free to blog in the comments girl if you need to speak your peace. i set no limits. saying "man up" is not a bad thing in my book. if the shoe fits; wear it.

aquarian - thanks for your first time visit too. i appreciate that.

like you, i'd rather praise a someone rather than break them down, but sometimes you just gotta call it as you see it.

Ali's Zay said...

Dearest sister Blu,

You have expressed most eloquently why I have no use for men. I'm thoroughly disgusted with the behavior that passes for normal among our so-called men.

Call me stuck up. Why, cause I got a damn job? Cause I speak proper English? Cause I dress like an adult? Cause I take care of my daughter without having to be ordered to do so by a judge? F#ck all a y'all useless, good-for-nothing mofos and don't even think of looking at my daughter!!!

rayne said...

Preach preacher

Anonymous said...


almost non existent