Okay, so ladies, I said, we weren’t to be excluded from my bashing, so tighten your bra straps cause here it comes…
What is with us saying we want a man who we know is damn near impossible to find and turning our eyes off a brother who doesn’t fit into the nice little package we think he’s going to come in? I mean, what the hell are we thinking. Why turn down a blue-collar worker because we think he won't get it, fit into our social circle, or that our friends/family won't approve. He's a man for crying out loud and we can't sleep on him just because he doens't fit whatever stupid mold we think he should. Here’s an example…my sister lived by this notion for quite some time and found herself rather unhappy with the men in the dating pool until she came across the man who is now her husband. He didn’t come in the pretty little package she’d created in her mind and she realized that getting what you need in a man is better than the man you want. They're completely committed to each other and have all the things with/for each other that they wanted. That's what love is about; not that bullshit that we've created.
What's with those of us that have multiple children from multiple partners? Its’ bad enough some of the brothers won’t own up to a child being theirs emotionally, financially, or socially, so why put the child/ren through any more grief? What is Lil Ty’s daddy is taking care of him, but Janeequa and Keshawn’s dad isn’t? Or what about LaShawn’s dad who is, but Pookie’s isn’t? The damage this causes is the stuff that keeps therapists paid when these kids are adults. We must ensure we have out own method of birth control in the event his fails.
How about those of us who get pregnant by men we know are less than stellar in so many ways and then complain about his “trifling ass” after the fact? How come we don’t hold ourselves accountable for our role in the pregnancy, take care of our child as best we can, and pursue child support and pray we get it. In the event, his “trifling ass” can’t, won’t, or don’t pay, then don’t run out to Foot Locker for the latest baby Jordan’s that h/she who’s not even walking yet don’t need; or will grow out of in a heart beat in h/she can walk. There’s no need for that child to be in the latest fashions when you’re trying to manage taking care of both of you on a shoestring budget. Trust and believe that child has no idea what Baby Phat or Roc a Wear is. And not to forget, you might wanna holla at your girl and let her perm your hair or wash and set it a time or two and cut back on those biweekly hair appointments; you’ll still be beautiful.
For those of us sitting up there talking about how women are being degraded, treated poorly, and whatnot, but we’re up in the club dressed in clothing that screams “hooker” and carrying on in kind. If we want to be treated like the queens, ladies, or empresses that we descended from, then we need to act accordingly. Tell that brother to step off he can’t “let me holla atcha boo” in a polite way. He may call us a “bitch” or say, “you ain’t cute anyway”, but let’s not get all up in arms about it if we know we’re not what he claims we are. All he’s doing is trying to mask his wounded ego and that should show us he wasn’t worth the time of day anyway; even if he is cute. Looks should never supersede his personality or lack thereof.
Now, I’m all for a woman wearing clothes that flatter her figure (large, small, or in between), but I’m sick to death of my sisters being out there in low-rise jeans with their thongs and ass-crack out. Big-breasted women should not be where spaghetti straps unless she’s properly reinforced. We don’t need to wear mini skirts that are a second shy of showing off the coochie that is probably barely covered by a thong, dippin it low, getting our eagle on, droppopanlockin it.
I’m gonna stop here because I think I’ve sufficiently made my point, but in closing I must say the following:
Ladies we can and should carry ourselves in a respectful manner if we want to be treated as such. Granted there are times when a man will act up even when we’re acting right, but can’t reduce ourselves to his level unless it's absolutely necessary. Then by all means, go Malcolm on his ass. We can get our “freak on” without demeaning ourselves. We must stop allowing our sexual activities to be videotaped unless we’re absolutely sure it won’t be used against us; and even then you still gotta watch out. We must teach our daughters well and stop telling them to use what they've got to get what they want. Ensure they be educated and know the power of the mind will outweigh looks any day. We must start standing together, get over our ‘women’ hatred, and build ourselves up. If we don’t do it, no one else can or will and we’ll continue to sell ourselves out as “the other society” already sees us.