14 June 2007

Release the thong!

Okay, so ladies, I said, we weren’t to be excluded from my bashing, so tighten your bra straps cause here it comes…

What is with us saying we want a man who we know is damn near impossible to find and turning our eyes off a brother who doesn’t fit into the nice little package we think he’s going to come in? I mean, what the hell are we thinking. Why turn down a blue-collar worker because we think he won't get it, fit into our social circle, or that our friends/family won't approve. He's a man for crying out loud and we can't sleep on him just because he doens't fit whatever stupid mold we think he should. Here’s an example…my sister lived by this notion for quite some time and found herself rather unhappy with the men in the dating pool until she came across the man who is now her husband. He didn’t come in the pretty little package she’d created in her mind and she realized that getting what you need in a man is better than the man you want. They're completely committed to each other and have all the things with/for each other that they wanted. That's what love is about; not that bullshit that we've created.

What's with those of us that have multiple children from multiple partners? Its’ bad enough some of the brothers won’t own up to a child being theirs emotionally, financially, or socially, so why put the child/ren through any more grief? What is Lil Ty’s daddy is taking care of him, but Janeequa and Keshawn’s dad isn’t? Or what about LaShawn’s dad who is, but Pookie’s isn’t? The damage this causes is the stuff that keeps therapists paid when these kids are adults. We must ensure we have out own method of birth control in the event his fails.

How about those of us who get pregnant by men we know are less than stellar in so many ways and then complain about his “trifling ass” after the fact? How come we don’t hold ourselves accountable for our role in the pregnancy, take care of our child as best we can, and pursue child support and pray we get it. In the event, his “trifling ass” can’t, won’t, or don’t pay, then don’t run out to Foot Locker for the latest baby Jordan’s that h/she who’s not even walking yet don’t need; or will grow out of in a heart beat in h/she can walk. There’s no need for that child to be in the latest fashions when you’re trying to manage taking care of both of you on a shoestring budget. Trust and believe that child has no idea what Baby Phat or Roc a Wear is. And not to forget, you might wanna holla at your girl and let her perm your hair or wash and set it a time or two and cut back on those biweekly hair appointments; you’ll still be beautiful.

For those of us sitting up there talking about how women are being degraded, treated poorly, and whatnot, but we’re up in the club dressed in clothing that screams “hooker” and carrying on in kind. If we want to be treated like the queens, ladies, or empresses that we descended from, then we need to act accordingly. Tell that brother to step off he can’t “let me holla atcha boo” in a polite way. He may call us a “bitch” or say, “you ain’t cute anyway”, but let’s not get all up in arms about it if we know we’re not what he claims we are. All he’s doing is trying to mask his wounded ego and that should show us he wasn’t worth the time of day anyway; even if he is cute. Looks should never supersede his personality or lack thereof.

Now, I’m all for a woman wearing clothes that flatter her figure (large, small, or in between), but I’m sick to death of my sisters being out there in low-rise jeans with their thongs and ass-crack out. Big-breasted women should not be where spaghetti straps unless she’s properly reinforced. We don’t need to wear mini skirts that are a second shy of showing off the coochie that is probably barely covered by a thong, dippin it low, getting our eagle on, droppopanlockin it.

I’m gonna stop here because I think I’ve sufficiently made my point, but in closing I must say the following:

Ladies we can and should carry ourselves in a respectful manner if we want to be treated as such. Granted there are times when a man will act up even when we’re acting right, but can’t reduce ourselves to his level unless it's absolutely necessary. Then by all means, go Malcolm on his ass. We can get our “freak on” without demeaning ourselves. We must stop allowing our sexual activities to be videotaped unless we’re absolutely sure it won’t be used against us; and even then you still gotta watch out. We must teach our daughters well and stop telling them to use what they've got to get what they want. Ensure they be educated and know the power of the mind will outweigh looks any day. We must start standing together, get over our ‘women’ hatred, and build ourselves up. If we don’t do it, no one else can or will and we’ll continue to sell ourselves out as “the other society” already sees us.



dc_speaks said...

and the people said..."AMEN" Great post blu jewel..

I loved it!

DO another one.

Terry said...

Damn Baby! And I thought you were hard on the men.

Truth be told, both posts have some terrific points. Odd how we just tend to ignore them.

Excellent as usual.

Anonymous said...

Good balance. We certainly have enough problems to go around with females and males. We all need to check ourselves. I won't repeat the things you adequately and articulately stated. I'll just say somebody has to break the cycle. Let it start with you and me (and the blog fam). DC reminds us that the revolution won't be televized...but the de-evolution was. We've got to start it right here and right now.

Great posts.

Brotha Buck said...

You had me cracking up here, telling it like it is. I think you covered it all quite well.

Tasha said...

I just stumbled across your blog and I'm so glad I did. What a great post. We all need to be told about ourselves and get put in check sometimes.

The Mistress said...

Whooo weee SPEAK IT SISTA.

I agree with it ALL honey.

Women can be SUCH FOOLS. I don't understand them at all sometimes. Especially the ones that take NO RESPONSIBILITY for their reproductive health, end up pregnant by a guy they KNOW is a fucking assmonkey of a loser and then they bitch to high heaven about the lack of financial and emotional support from his sorry ass.

What did you expect? You are to blame for this shit too. You failed yourself and your child!

It really is unreal and I have NO SYMPATHY for these bitches. Not getting pregnant is NOT rocket science. I managed to go 27 years and yeah I'm smart but I'm no colossal genius so hell...it CAN be done. I am so over women who don't take control of their own lives.

I love how empowered you are and how compelled you are to tell it like it is honey. You represent us well.

deepnthought said...

And that is that on that.

I was clapping out loud on this post too. This needed to be said. Bravo!!!!

Lyrically speaking said...

I find blue-collar men sexy :)
This morning the bus driver was eyeing me, very sweet guy but it was too crowded to have a dialogue with him, :) great post!

Miz JJ said...

Good post. I definitely agree about women needing to take control of who they have children with. Do not have a baby with a dude who is a punk and then get upset when acts accordingly. Protect yourself. You are lucky all you ended up with is a baby.

As for the blue collar dudes I gotta say hold up, wait a minute. I will date a blue colloar dude. However, I think it is sad that we are advocating that our women not strive for the best. No other race tells their women to lower their standards and date whoever.

Blu Jewel said...

dc - thanks for the "praise" *smile* do another one? topic?

terry - there was a lot more i could have said about the men, but you how y'all are with that tender ego *lol*

sojo - you are so right, but as i said in dc's comment box, the revolution may not be televised, but that doesn't mean it cant/wont happen.

brotha - glad i could return in kind the humor you found in this.

tasha - thanks for stopping by and for finding this a good post

mistress - lmao @ your comment. i absolutely loved it because i can always count on your open and honest thoughts. and of course i love the names you come up for people..."assmonkey" you know i'll be using that right?

thank you for the compliment *smile*

deep - i'm so glad you agree i couldn't post about one and not the other.

lyrically - nice to hear someone agree that there is nothing wrong with a blue collared worker

mz jj - you said the truth in saying she's lucky all she ended up with is a baby

as for my comment on blue collar workers...lemme splain...i'm not advocating that women settle or date down. what i'm saying is that ignoring someone solely on his profession is wrong. there are good/bad men white or blue collar, but i've noticed women putting down the plumber because he presumably doesn't earn enough. i know some who are making LOOT! that's all i'm saying!

but on that same note, we have women seeking men with money and such, but in return they have so little to offer. there is a lack of balance and reciprocity that perpetuates the "gold-digger" stigma.

Paula D. said...


Ali's Zay said...

Ya know, I've been thinking, the two of us should go on tour.

Rosemarie said...

Great speech! You've left a trail of smoke girl. Women young and old need to hear this. When's the tour start? Seriously!

A Father's Day Letter

I've posted my letter and the winner of the contest will be announced tomorrow.

Honey-Libra said...

All I can say is AMEN!!!

eclectik said...

You are the greatest!

New category Blu J's PSAs!

Tell em son!

Me like You



The Message board (Grown folk talk)

BZ said...

Let the church say AMEN!!!

My favorite: "...getting what you need in a man is better than the man you want."

You ain neva lied, big sis! I haven't been by in a while. I've been slacking. But this was a GREAT post to return to!

chele said...

I think if we all become the example to our own daughters than that will be the first step to change. Somewhere morals and common sense got lost in the wash ... let's get it back.

Blu Jewel said...

paula - i always laugh when you say that! but i feel you!

zay - in some ways, you're probably right

rose - thanks for the compliment and you could join the "tour" too; you have some pretty interesting things to say.

honey - and you can get a witness! *LOL*

eclectik - thanks for the new category and i think i'm going to use it in the future...good looking out!

bz - that line is the absolute truth and i'm happy to have a supporter on it. if we dont consider this, we're pretty much settling otherwise.

chele - PREACH girl! i've already started with the woman in MY mirror!

blaqrayne said...

You hit the nail on the head with thi one!

Mizrepresent said...

Great Post! Yes, we need to step up our game, and demand the respect we often talk about. Keep educating sis!

Anonymous said...

And the church says AMEN! That's all I need to say! If you ever run for something let a sista know. With that much common sense you got my vote!

Anonymous said...

This should be published in a book...Women need to hear this, read this, breathe this...

Real talk

Debo Blue said...

Where can I mail your offering? 'Cause this message must be reserved for Women's Day or Youth Day at your church, right?

It is What It Is... said...