14 February 2007

Don't hate the playa!

You've all heard the expression "don't hate the playa, hate the game" right? Right! So, why are their still so many hatas out there? For real, I wanna know. Why do we have to hate cause someone else has someone or something we want? We see people who have lavish homes, nice cars, and things of that nature and we immediately think "must be nice" of "how can I be down?" while we never think about how hard those people may have worked to get what they have. Granted there are those who have rob, cheated, and stolen to get their possessions, but there are also many who have worked their asses off for everything. I'll admit that I've made the comment a time or two, but honestly and truly, I really don't covet what others have. I've worked hard for what I have and i credit those who have helped me along the way. I'm thankful for everything I have because I know I've earned it and deserve it. I don't want others to think I've got it so good and life is easy. Nothing in my life has ever been a handout. So, please don't hate; appreciate.

Moving on...

So, why are there still so many hatas? Why can't we be happy for folk? Why can't we consider they might be struggling to maintain what they have. Look at how many millionaires have lost everything because they thought they had it all or because they wanted more than they already have. Greed and covetedness are some powerful things and all too often used frequently.

We look at movie stars, singers, and other people of influence and think of how nice their lives must be, but think about it; would you want cameras in your face every move you make? Would you want someone commenting on your weight; who your dating; what your social life is like? Come on, it's stressfull and for the most part unnecessary. With Britney alone and unhappy, who'd want that life? With Lindsay Lohan in rehab at such a young age, who'd want that? Personally, when I make my loot, I just wanna still be me. Yeah, I'll have some extra change in the bank, but I'll need to use it wisely just in case my popularity runs out. You won't find me with a mini skirt on and no panties hopping out of a car cause I think I'm cute that night or starved for attention. This playa will still be doing hers with the few ride or die's that I have in my life already. I'll hate the game cause I don't do drama and bullshit; it's that simple.

I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with this, but I think you get the point. Basically, I'm just tired of the self-deprecation people have because they don't have something they feel entitled to. I'm tired of the hate cause someone has a nicer car, home, bike, boat, job etc. Just do you folk; just do you!

I'm out!


Terry said...

Well, those who know me may find it odd that I would comment on this. After all, I am very fortunate and have many nice "things" and "toys". As standards of living go, I don’t want for much. But I have worked hard to get there.

Now I know that what I am about to say isn’t really Blu's point, I’m just taking the liberty of expanding on it a bit.

I’m no where in the "Player" leagues, but, with all due modesty, I can honestly say that for much of my adult life money has never been a huge issue. I live in a house that’s, well, let’s say worth a lot – I have owned and driven very expensive sports cars and luxury sedans. Within my life I have been able to take expensive vacations. While married my ex routinely displayed fine jewelry worth thousands, and it was not beyond me to spend a thousand dollars on just one night out.

I would drop three thousand dollars on Laker tickets on a whim, and I played rounds of golf with green fees higher than five hundred dollars on any given weekend.

And you know what? Big fuckin’ deal! None of that in the end matters one damn bit. Do you know what I found out? Money and "things" truly can’t make you happy. Know what does? You do.

YOU are the only thing in the end that can make YOU happy. Trust me on this one.

I still live in the house. I drive a Nissan now. My Ex and her jewelry are now gone. I don’t spend much more than 80 bucks when I go out.

I go to a Laker game when someone gives me tickets and most of my golf is played on some company’s ticket. And I’m happier now than I have ever been.

Can I still do some of the things I used to do? Probably...but why? I have my friends, I have my family, I have my peace of mind, I have my happiness. What else does anybody really need?

All you yougin's out there learn this lesson now, before you make enough money to buy unhappiness.

It ain't about what you got, it's about who you are.

But your Mama's have probably already told you that. You need to liten to them.

Sorry for blogging on your blog Blu. You know how I be sometimes.

jus butterfli said...

you know what? my mother and i were talking about this jus the other day!

i was raised with the mentality that you should neva-eva begrudge anybody anything wonderful that happens to them. i think if more people realized that what God has for them is for them & when it's time for them to receive it, NOTHING AND NO ONE will be able to stop the blessing, there would be less hatin' goin' on.

besides, it's like you said, no one knows the sacrifices others have had to make in order to get the things they have or to be where they are. Mama always told me, "Butterfli, you can have anything that anyone else has. it jus depends on how hard you want to work for it!"

i don't find myself sayin' "wish it was me", more times than not i say, "i ain't mad atcha", cause i understand that my "promotion" is coming too!! :)

i liked this post. thank you!

Love You! Peace...

Honey-Libra said...

I guess folks hate cause they want what others have. I say if I can't have it and you got it I'll use yours till I can get my own LOL...let me stop :)

Daver said...

It's called schadenfreude. It's the satisfaction at other people's misfortune. People have and always will look up to and admire people who have what they do not have. It's jealousy combined with coveting.

However, the only popular emotion more powerful than that is schadenfreude, or reveling in their pain.

lol, people are sick.

BZ said...

Misery loves company and people who aren't happy with their own lives are usually the ones to comment negatively on others, or daydream about having the life of another.

I really could care less about what anyone else does, especially if it's of no consequence to me.

Do you, sis!

BZ said...

Oh yeah - Gotta cosign on Terry: "It ain't about what you got, it's about who you are." PREACH!

Lyrically speaking said...

"Just do you" is a quote I've heard two weeks ago from another poet and it really glued to my mind. It's so true, instead of putting so much energy on hating, it should be on appreciating and loving yourself.

If you have the patience and dedication, you will enjoy the fruits of your labor. I don't know why people hate, I can only guess part of it is insecurity and imperfection

JoJo D. said...

Greetings, Sis!

Personally, I think people hate because they have nothing better to do. I'm the type of person who can't particularly be bothered with anyone else's life, or by what/who they have; yes, I'm that vain, LOL! I most certainly wouldn't want the life of Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, and of them, the saddest of them all is Paris Hilton - to have all that financial freedom in her life and all she can do on a daily basis is get photographed making an ass of herself.

But I'm too vain to care, anyway, LOL!

Rosemarie said...

This is deep! Not just your post, but the comments as well, very thought provoking. Thanks again Blu for doing it so well and with little effort.

Fame has a price and we've seen it repeatedly. Look at Anna Nicole, this seems to have been her number one objective, and I don't think she or other celebrities COUNT THE COST. I've heard "be careful with what you wish for" and that's along the same lines. Either way, if you’re not grounded and have a healthy support system in place you can forget it about surviving.

People hatin'...its negative and can be quite toxic, especially those who constantly verbalize it.

I agree with your other readers they lack contentment in their own lives on various levels so they lash out on others. That old familiar theme put down another so you feel better about yourself.

Blu Jewel said...

Terry - yes, your comment is long, but you had something to say and a point to make, so it's cool. i'm sure the other readers enjoyed your comment to. What you shared here is a clear indication that just because you've got it, doesn't mean you're happy. Hope you're enjoying your life now.

jus - your mother is a wise woman, but you already knew that...lol. for real though, you too have a made a good point and it's better to worry about what you've got than what others have. for all we know, someone else could be looking at us and wishing they had our lives.

honey - lol! girl, you are crazy out your head crazy.

daver - i know i still owe you a vist, but thanks for stopping by again. your comment makes a lot of sense and isn't it sad how we'll rather be pissed than happy for someone.

bz - i love how you keep it simple and keep it real. if more people had this mind set or even acted with this mindset, they'd be a lot happier.

lyrically - "just do you" is like a mantra to me. as i said, yes, I've wished for this or that, but I don't make it a part of my being. i make the best of what i have and will always "do me" insecurity is a terrible coat to wear.

joj- you said it all with this..."But I'm too vain to care, anyway, LOL!"

rosemarie - i agree with everything you said and it's simply just sad. yes, the other comments were on point and pretty poignant in themselves. thanks for your continued in my blog

Hawa Bond said...

Keep it flowing, Blu. You continue to speak the words that we need to hear.

Love you!

Anonymous said...

My two cents (though shorter than Terry's(wink)): it's especially difficult for those of us who don't fall into the 'acceptable' standards of American beauty (read: overweight, over 40).

For some people the hating is huge because they're constantly feeling deprived of happiness because they can't fit into a size 2, or their hair doesn't cascade like Beyonce's.

I was blessed to have a great support system of friends and family who told me how valuable I am to them so I didn't spend months developing an eating disorder or spend hundreds of dollars each month to pay for shiny cascading weaves.

Does anyone remember the song, "Diamond in the back, sunroof top, digging the scene in a gangstaleen,gangsta whitewalls, tv antenna in the back?" We should all remember to stand tall and love who we are because at the end of the day where we are is where we'll be. Debo

Anonymous said...

I feel you on this.

I think that it makes people feel inadequate when you're doing better than they are. That's probably one reason why people hate on each other. But I'm with you. Why hate on someone else when you can have what they have or something similar? Hating is a waste of time and energy.

The Mistress said...

The world is made up of miserable insecure people. They hate you when you're doing better thann they are and they look down on you when you're struggling, You can't win.

blaqrayne said...

I'm with you on that. I like what I like simply because I like it and if it falls within reasonable reach, I get it. If it's not reasonable then oh well, it serves as incentive, but I'm not going to hate on the next person who can get it now.

There's no material thing or any mortal here on Earth that can define my worth. What I have is greater than all of that, so there's no room for hate.