07 February 2007

Life and times!

Adversity. I would never have amounted to anything had I not been forced to come up the hard way.—J.C. Penney

This quote is so powerful and I too am glad that the road to my success wasn't paved with hand outs and gimmes. I've earned my status and didn't go through life thinking the world owed me something because I've endured hard times. Life is truly what you make it and I'm happy that I used those rough times as a catalyst to do better instead of whining and complaining.

I'm sure many of you can relate to the quote and now we have to teach those coming up the value of it.

There's too much spoiling of kids, wanting or expecting hand outs, and just being lazy going on instead of a proactive stand being taken. If a homeless man can go on to build a multi-million dollar empire, there are those who can at last get off the street. Granted, there are sometimes statutues and limitations that are beyond ones control, but if you're not at least willing to try, then there's no one to blame but yourself.

Just thought I'd put this out there as I just finished listening to someone baby their 23 year old daughter who bounced a check because she "thought she had time to get her nails done before the check cleared and she made her next deposit". WTF? Yes, people; I really heard that and the parent bailed the kid out by telling her "where there was some cash in the house, but don't tell mommy". That dad is setting his daughter up for failure and she'll never grow up with responsibilities or consequences for her actions.

Adversity is a blessing moreso than a curse!


Lyrically speaking said...

That is disgusting to me how parents baby their children, last week I watched this reality show on TV where this girl is 26 and still living with her parents. When someone made a comment to the mother about telling her daughter to move out on her own, the mother was very upset and stated "when my baby is ready to go, she will do it on her own"

It is sad cause' then how are they supposed to be responsible? How will they conquer the world if Mommy or Daddy is always there handing them money, cars or even paying their rent.

Great post. I'm proud of you :)

Rosemarie said...

You're right having less while growing up made me appreciate more. However, it also gave me a hunger to have now. And, maybe too much!

I can't seem to tell myself no or wait, but I think that will be a reality soon enough since my hubby says no to work for me.

I also can't hold back on buying for my daughter.

This is a hard one for me to choose.

I hope when my baby is 23 and bouncing checks, I set her straight, but I'll most likely bail her out too!

Susan Abraham said...

Well-said, Blu!
Happens the same in my part of the world, Blu. Grown-ups baby their kids who are already grown-ups, giving them anything and everything want. Especially if the parents themselves had hard lives when young.
Many kids verbally abuse their parents if they don't get their way, but you'll always find a mom or dad, rationalising these sort of behaviour and making excuses for them.

Anonymous said...

I'm living proof of this, that adversity is a blessing in disguise. I always say, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. And I believe that wholeheartedly.

Honey-Libra said...

WOW...when I bounce a check my mom and dad don't give me the money that's just my own fault for not paying attention and balancing my checkbook right..on top of that could the bounced check at least be for something that she needs like her rent..WOW..I tell ya

j.a.c. said...

Great post lady. I too realize that I am who I am because of the mountains I've climb. My faith and endurance have been (and continue to be) tested, which provides me with a well-defined faith. It would be wonderful if people realize that they need to chaff a little to become a precious diamond!

JoJo D. said...

I still have a spot of grime on my left cheek and I keep it there to remind myself of how I came up in those hard, dirty streets, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents and never really having much success - until now.

Thanks for this post, Sis; it spoke the truth to my heart.

I wish I would raise a spoiled, ungrateful child; I'd hang a boot and kick my own a**!

Great post!

TDJ said...

Yeah, the sense of entitlement and privilege that I see many members of this generation is sickening. I'm not a parent, but I am trying to be a strong mentor to my nieces and nephews.

Terry said...

I'm going to start a "Bring Back The Switch" movement.

Say what you will, but fear is one helluva motivator.

Even my Grandmother knew that. And she knew it well.

"Boy...I want you to go outside, find a tree..."

I was one disciplined MF after that.

G. Mo said...

Good post and great comments by all. I couldn't agree more with the fact that adversity is indeed a blessing. Two things really stick out to me with regard to my life. Love and finances.

There's no way I would truly appreciate the woman in my life as much as I do had it not been for days where I was kicked to the curb so to speak. Through the nonsense dealt with in other relationships, I've learned what true love is not.

As far as money goes, I wasn't as fortunate as most of my friends. I never got handouts and worked from the time I was 13. Yet, I still wanted the hot sneakers like everybody else. So, I started selling candy, donuts, dubbed Beta movies, etc to make extra money on the side in junior high. That hustle still lies within me. I never thought I'd go from being the Blow-Pop kid to the Ticket Hustleman. But it's basically created a second income that I can rely upon today.

Wendy said...

I see this all too often. I know a grown ass people who live with their parents don't even help their sometimes retired parents with the bills. Talk about folks needing a swift kick. But, the parents allow these grown folks to do this, I can't feel sorry for them.

beautyinbaltimore said...

I could understand if it was a rent check but a check for getting her nails done, please.
Have you ever watched my sweet sixteen on MTV. Now those kids are spoiled and sadly the parents encourage it.

BZ said...


jus butterfli said...

hey you!

yeah. it's REALLY me! (LOL)

adversity. hmmm... i'm don't mean to come up in here sounding all religious and shit; however, my mama always told me that "without trials, you'll never know that God can bring you through", so i'm with you on the whole adversity thing bein' a more of a blessing than a curse.

that's all. :)

Peace and Much Love!

blaqrayne said...

WOW on the grown ass woman bouncin' checks & gettin babied! She's definitely on the wrong track.

I agree about coming up the hard way. My parents could have given me a lot, but didn't and growin up, I was sooo Angry with them. But now, I LOVE them for the way they raised me. And I cherish every obstacle that I've faced because they've made me who I am today.

Be proud of yourself. You're a beautiful person, excellent mother and a very strong woman.

Blu Jewel said...

lyrically - thanks for the compliment. i heard about the show you mentioned and it's crazy; just crazy.

rosemarie - dont do it. teach her early and give her the tools and resources to guide her journey. she'll need to fall a time or two so she can know what it's like cause you're not always going to be there.

su - it's awful how some children are raised and how they treat their parents in return is even more awful.

urban - you are beautiful proof of how adversity can be a blessing. i'm so impressed with your accomplishments.

honey - i was trippin when i overheard that conversation. i couldn't believe he was condoning her check bouncing. she bounced a check of importance because she couldn't wait to get her nails done, how pathetic is that? worse, how pathetic is her dad?

j.a.c - anyone who's used their adveristy as a plus and not a negative is strong in my book. you have every right to be proud of yourself.

jojo - i only speak from the heart on topics like this. life hasn't always been kind to me, but i never gave up and i never used it as an excuse to garner sympathy. i worked my ass off and kept God in my life. without Him and a few choice people along the way, adversity was only fuel to get me where i am now. And i agree, i wish i would raise an ungrateful spoiled ass child.

tdj - my daughter doesn't want for much, but i ensure that whatever she gets, she's earned. i want her to know the value of things and have appreciation for what she has. she's seen those less fortunate and knows how easy one could get in a bad situation.

terry - i dont beat kids (though i sometimes would like to), but fear can be a great motivator and influencial guidance is another way to get kids to understand and appreciate things and not be so damn spoiled and greedy.

g-mo - i've read about your struggles and how you've worked for everything you've got and it's impressive that you've been so driven. you are an inspiration.

wendy - i agree, i agree, i agree.

beauty - the check she bounced wasn't for her nails it was for a bill. she thought she had time to get her nails done before the check cleared and she made her deposit. craziness at its finest. she's in for a rude awakening when daddy's not there to bail her out.

bz - your amen speaks volumes

jus - you hit the nail on the head and folk need to recognize.

rayne - yeah, chick is gonna have a rough life if daddy doesn't stop bailing her out. what's worse he's doing it behind his wife's back which is a problem within itself. you're a testiment to using the "bad" to achieve the good. kids these days should use people like us as a guide. thank you so much for that compliment, it means a lot to hear that.