02 February 2007

Expectations vs Reality

I lifted this from Honey Libra

Expecting life to treat you well because you're a good person; is like expecting an angry bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.
--Shari R. Barr

When I read this I first laughed, but then the reality of it set in as being completely true. I'm one of those people who'll do just about anything for anyone without wanting anything in return. I've always been told it's a good quality trait to have; however, I've sometimes found it to work to my disadvantage because people have tended to take advantage of me and/or my kindness.

Nowadays I'm a little less willing to over extend myself for a few reasons
  1. Because it's simply not healthy
  2. It's exhausting to be nice/kind all the time because it can compromise my own happiness
  3. Because sometimes it would be nice to have an action reciprocated
Cashing the reality check was as much needed as my vegetarian ass being charged by the bull. All that aside, I still tend to be a good person, not because I want to be treated in the same fashion I treat others, but simply because that's the type of person I am. I'm not going to go from zero to bitch faster than a Porsche because someone said or did something I don't like. Life consists of shitty things and shitty people and just because I'm a good person, doesn't mean others are. Some people are inherently bad and there's little anyone can do to change them.

My humble opinion is this; if you're a good person, be proud of that. Don't expect others to appreciate or reciprocate it. Do what you do because you wanted to and call it a day.


Terry said...

And there you have it folks, listen to the woman.

T.C. said...

As always, I come to your spot and read something that has been on my mind...you are right, all you can strive to be is the BEST you, that you can possibly be! You can't expect anything in return, or that others will treat you the same, because that sets you up for disappointment, just be proud and keep it moving

josie said...

i know what you mean. i like doing nice things for people. sometimes i get the niceness return. but i dont expect it. i hate however, when they think because you are willing to do this for them, that you will always do that for them. i draw the line there. let me offer, dont demand.

Rosemarie said...

My friend said something interesting today, "Be good regardless of others because you're doing it for you."

Thanks for the confirmation!

Debo Blue said...

"As you would men do unto you, do unto men." But sometimes I hate getting punked (smile).

Great post.

Honey-Libra said...

I tell ya...I had to say this to myself the other day when someone pissed me off..just cause I care about them doesn't mean that they are gonna care about me..life goes on....LOL

Anonymous said...

I agree with ya on this one!! I recently discovered that people tend to take advantage of my kindess and I was so surprised that I didn't realize it until someone else pointed it out!! I guess I had my own way of rationalizing what was happening to me. But I have to learn how not to be taken advantage of by people. I'm like you. I'd do just about anything for anyone without expecting anything in return. That's how I was raised to be. That's how my Granny was, and I always wanted to be like my Granny. I love doing things for others. But I guess you have to be wise when doing things for other to make sure that you're not being taken advantage of.

Good post!

blaqrayne said...

I'm good to people simply because I want to. I don't ask for anything in return, but on the rare occassion that I happen to need something, it hurts to be left standing on the limb alone. But such is life. I haven't stopped being a giving person because of that, but it does get frustrating sometimes.

NoMas said...

Awesome point and oh so true! I just must borrow this post, with credit to you of course. Hope you don't mind. (BTW - I'm here from Wide Lawns).

zeek59 said...

So true - sometimes us nice folks do finish last but I enjoy knowing I helped someone out. Kinda makes me feel good about me.

Paul said...

It is purely fate that I have come across your blog. My friend Alana and I have been talking of late about how the two of us are people-pleasers. We've always put others first and never set aside any time for ourselves. We're burned out and now find ourselves constantly calling each other to make sure the other one is all right. Life is so tough right now and it's good to know that there are people out there that feel the same way. It helps to know we're not alone on this crazy path called life. With love, Paul