25 April 2007

Maintaining Face

Ever run into someone you wished you’d never see again in life? I just experienced that. I ran into my best friends ex-girlfriend. I walked into the break area and there she was staring into the vending machine. I concealed my shock with good face and greeted her with a cheery disposition. We exchanged the usual formalities as I quickly washed my bowl and filled my cup for tea.

Seeing as I’m a woman of character, I played nice and went on with my business though a part of me wanted to slap the taste out of her mouth for even speaking to me. Ever find yourself in that position? Where you want to just ask the person what the heck they were thinking when they did what they did? That feeling rolled up on me like a ninja as I continued to smile gracefully and not compromise myself as a woman or a professional seeing as this occurred at the jay-o.

The flashback of the hell she took my boy through leading up to their breakup, raced with mach speed through my mind. She did him dirty plain and simple and the effects were devastating for him considering he’d bought a ring and was preparing to pop the question. Seeing my boy, who’s the epitome of the Alpha Male with all his machismo cry, was more than I could handle; so you know I’ve got no love for the girl. Whatever their problems were was their business, but when I became aware of the levels of shade being thrown his way, that’s when his business became my business.

All of this happened two years ago and I’ve forgiven her in my mind, but trust that I haven’t forgotten. Seeing her reminded me that I’m not petty though and how much I've matured since then (trust and believe I wanted to put the Tims in that ass). I held my head high, did and greet, and went on with my business. I wondered if she gave any thought to what seeing me made her feel, but honestly I don’t think I care. She had to reconcile with herself and God for what she did, while I was the friend he needed to get through it.

Life/people throw many curve balls you’re way, but when you maintain a good countenance and have integrity and content of character, you can bat your way though it. As I write about it, I think it was actually kind of funny and I wish I could have seen the look on my face, but from what my friend told me who was with her, it was priceless.


Missedmanners said...

Ugh. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. There are only three people in this world I don't ever want to see again, and it always sucks when I inevitably do.

It's the worst because in person I try to be as nice as possible, so I end up just being overly nice and really false, which I think ends up being perceived as passive aggressive, haha.

Hawa Bond said...

Oh dang. Who the heck was it??? IM if you care to share. LOL

The only person who truly comes to mind when I think of somebody I don't care to see again is my ex-husband. Now that's a scary state of affairs, because we still share a 7-year old son. (And thankfully, I haven't seen my ex in AGES... except perhaps by chance while driving in the car or something). I guess that means he feels the same way I do. hehe

And just like MissedManners, I went through a terrible phase where I was overly-nice on the phone to come across as being OK - but probably came across as passive aggressive. I had never thought of it that way... but dang.

Now I just KNOW there must be somebody else. If I think of them, I'll write back.

Honey-Libra said...

I can only imagine what you wanted to do to her and what you were doing to her on the inside as you smiled on the out...but you're right you are much more mature and I've heard that nothing you do to a person can cause as much damage to them as nature does on it's own...

BZ said...

CHILE! I know exactly what you're talking about. Glad you dealt with the situation maturely. But I know your chili was cookin like a mofo!

I try to think that, the more hurt someone imposes on us, the more we learn about ourselves. The bigger the pain, the more knowledge we derive from the situation. It sucks ass. But hey, I think it's kinda true. Hopefully, your boy came away (eventually) for the better. And, thankfully, before the rings were exchanged.


chele said...

when you maintain a good countenance and have integrity and content of character, you can bat your way though it.

This was probably the most significant thing I read today. Thanks!

j.a.c. said...

good job lady. all i have to say is good freakin job!

The Mistress said...

I'm very lucky to live 2000 miles away from most of my former enemies but if I ran into someone I knew who I HATED I probably wouldn't be able to acknowledge their presence or speak to them. What's the use? I hate them and they know I hate them so why put up a front?

I was cured of "the disease to please" years ago...no more phony happy faces for me.

DBA Lehane said...

You demonstrated one of the most precious gifts we all have, but which increasingly a lot of people no longer wish to show, dignity. As James Thurber once said, "By dignity I mean the high place attained only when the heart and mind are lifted, equally at once, by the creative union of perception and grace." This says so much about you Blu...and it's all good.

Blu Jewel said...

missed - it's actually good getting a guys pov on this because i'm always curious to know how men handle such situations. thanks for your comment.

hawa - u know chick! i wont put her on blast by name so you'll have to call me for details *lol* it's a shame how our desire to avoid becomes such a battle at times. passive aggression manifests itself in unusual ways/times. stay up!

honey - girl, trust is wasn't easy, but as i said, i had to hold my head up. i did nothing wrong, so i wasn't about to punk out. courage under fire is something i learned is a necessity in life.

bz - love that expression "your chili was cookin like a mofo" *lol* seriously though, yes it was, but there was no way i was gonna concede to her. she's undeserving of my salutations, but i'm mature enough to know how/when to deal with folk. yeah, my boy is in a better place now and i told him i ran into chic and he said better me than him. he was also glad that i had his back.

chele - i'm happy to know i said something significant enough to make a difference in your day.

j.a.c - thanks for the compliment.

mistress - i understand where you're coming from and i really don't think i was doing anything to please her. i know how she is and had i not been woman enough to simply say hi and keep it moving, that would have started a bunch of mess i dont need to be a part of. i hate petty people and treat them with just enough to have them leave me alone, which i assure you is in THEIR best interest.

lehane - wow! that was an awesome quote and thank you for using it to compliment my behaviour. thank you so much for that.

nikki said...

i've been THERE. hell, i'm there damn near everyday at work.

it's hard not giving them a smack in the mouf when you know that's what they deserve. you showed poise and self-control. you're better than me in that regard cuz i'm pretty sure the girl would have gotten cussed out or something if it had been me.

go on with ya grown self.

Rosemarie said...

Anger and revenge find no resting place in a woman of faith. When we can humbly pass by those who have hurt us or those we love with a short greeting and a smile that makes Grace who has given us strength for the journey pleased at our place of arrival in the lesson.

You go girl! Keep them all thinkin'!

Blu Jewel said...

nikki - so glad you had time to stop by. of course you had me rollin with your comment and know that it's not easy being grown *sigh*

rosemarie - it was truly God's grace that held me in the position i was in. the woman in question has to deal with far worse than me cussin her out if she hasn't gotten herself right.

T.C. said...

Life/people throw many curve balls you’re way, but when you maintain a good countenance and have integrity and content of character, you can bat your way though it

thats some REAL TALK right there...REAL TALK Blu!

blaqrayne said...

I know exactly who and what you are talking about. Had you resorted to your less mature ways, she would have deserved it, however she's definitely not even worth the energy that it takes to think her name.