24 July 2007

Blu Jewel PSA #2: If you want out, get out!

Okay, boys and girls class is in session; so sharpen your pencils, make sure there's ink in your pens, or your fingers are tapping the keyboards to take notes...Let's begin!

So, you're in a relationship you don't want to be in and you say you want to leave; do you keep having sex with the person? Survey says, no! The last thing you need to do is send mixed signals about your intentions and you certainly aren't making the break up any easier by allowing that person to think you might change your mind. Now, with that thought in mind, can someone please tell me why a man in this situation would not only keep sleeping with the girl he wants to get away from and not only was he still sleeping with her; she's now pregnant!

I know. I know! You're probably saying to yourselves, "what an idiot!" Yes, boys and girls, he's an idiot and one that will now be attached to a woman for the rest of his life. To make matters worse, the girl is not someone with whom he'd prefer to be attached to; hence why he wanted out. In addition, she's of less than stellar social attributes (read chickenhead). She's 6-7 years his senior and already has a teenaged child. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing the girl; in fact this isn't really about her. This is a lesson in thinking with the right head; at the right time; and doing the right thing.

We'll call him Frank. Frank alleged he wanted to end the relationship because it wasn't working and it wasn't what he wanted. He's still young, getting his life together, and not ready for a child, but his error in judgment is now going to leave him with a woman he'd rather not deal with and a child he's ill-prepared for. He alleged proximity to his job is why he continued to stay with her instead of staying with his boy; however, lack of planning and foresight was a part of the problem. Franks additional mistakes were 1) prematurely jumping into a relationship; 2) moving in with her in her place; and 3) not protecting himself during his mixed signals.

Lesson learned...if you say you want to end a relationship; end it. Make provisions to take care of yourself and move on. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT continue sleeping with the person and if you do so, make you're protected.

Have a plan If you don't have a plan, random circumstances will make one for you. And you probably won't like it much.

Decide what you would like and go for it. Success is no more complicated than that.
The energy and time you spend can either bring you toward your dreams or it can keep you in the service of someone else's dream. Choose to follow your own dreams.

Explore your own most deeply held values and purposes. Decide precisely how you would like your world and your life to be.

The most dismal failures are not caused by the inability to reach a goal. Those failures are the result of not having a clear enough and meaningful enough goal.

Know exactly where you intend to go, and you're much more likely to get there. Have a plan, follow it with persistence, and enjoy being where you sincerely choose to be.
-- Ralph Marston


YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Doe Doe.

Sorry Blu, I can't say anything else. *putting on my Freud cap* maaaaybe he was trying make sure she stayed oblivious to his plan to bounce. Orrrrrr he's just a horny lil' joker that couldn't leave it alone until he found another to dabble in. Now a baby's being brought into this craziness.


Doe Doe

Honey-Libra said...

What in the devil!! He could have at least worn a raincoat..WOW

She's his senior and still in chicken head status that should have told him something right there...

Man oh man and now a baby....emm

Hoodoo's Hostess said...

Greetings, sis! I liked this PSA!

Not to bash men, but I can't understand why they can't understand that condoms have a purpose, and that the "pull out" DOES NOT, and I repeat does not, work. Millions of "parents" in the world have gotten caught because of the pull out method, and have become parents when they didn't want to.

And if you don't want to be in a relationship with someone, say it, mean it, then move the f*** on!

Frank is sad. And so is the "chickenhead". Surely a woman can intuition (?) when a man is through with her. He wouldn't even have to tell me it's over; I'd be already out the door before he knew it...

Shai said...

I agree with Youtoldharpotobeatme. SMH. Geez, way too many kids are born into craziness and have to bear the pain of it.

BZ said...

Aaamen, Aaamen, Aamen Amen Amen!

Blu Jewel said...

you told harpo - you hit the proverbial nail on the head. he's gonna wish he'd make a better decision, but my thoughts are more for the child.

honey - she presented a level of comfort that he needed at first, place to stay, proximity to work, and a piece of ass. he later realized things weren't as he'd hope them to be and wanted out. So, much for that now!

hoodoo - i feel you; i feel you; i feel you. he had an out/other option, but chose not to execute or consider it and now he's left with a pending fatherhood and a woman he can't stand. small minds (penises) make big mistakes.

shai - run tell dat! that's real talk right there. his actions will lend favor to another generation of kids in crisis.

bz - from working with kids you know how this can potentially turn out. sad; so sad!

Copasetic Soul said...


i cant even comment...thinking with
the wrong head has lead me down the
wrong road a couple of times.

but i agree...if your gonna end it, end it. if ya gonna sleep with the person..use protection.

Wendy said...

I just wish at times, when people are having a "stupid" moment a big ass hand would come from the heavens. and smack the hell out of them! By the way, I'm tagging you!

Blu Jewel said...

copa - hey man! where ya been? how ya been? thanks for stopping by. your sigh seems so heavy, but i'll gather from it that memories have served you well and now you know better.

wendy - you are sooo right on the hand from heaven. ugh @ taggin me.

Organized Noise said...

Damn. That second paragraph spoke directly to me (except for the pregnancy). I continued to sleep with my ex-girlfriend for seven months after we broke up.

**walking away with my head down**

The Mistress said...

This remind me of what I see on Maury all the time. I don't understand these people. The men disregard condoms and the women take no reproductive precautions.

It really is a sign of low self esteem if you ask me. I don't buy that whole "not thinking of the consequences argument". I just think the people who get in those situations don't care about THEMSELVES enough to give a fuck.

I'll quit rambling though...

rayne said...

All I can say is WOW!! Just WOW!!! LOL (inside jokez)