Okay, boys and girls class is in session; so sharpen your pencils, make sure there's ink in your pens, or your fingers are tapping the keyboards to take notes...Let's begin!
So, you're in a relationship you don't want to be in and you say you want to leave; do you keep having sex with the person? Survey says, no! The last thing you need to do is send mixed signals about your intentions and you certainly aren't making the break up any easier by allowing that person to think you might change your mind. Now, with that thought in mind, can someone please tell me why a man in this situation would not only keep sleeping with the girl he wants to get away from and not only was he still sleeping with her; she's now pregnant!
I know. I know! You're probably saying to yourselves, "what an idiot!" Yes, boys and girls, he's an idiot and one that will now be attached to a woman for the rest of his life. To make matters worse, the girl is not someone with whom he'd prefer to be attached to; hence why he wanted out. In addition, she's of less than stellar social attributes (read chickenhead). She's 6-7 years his senior and already has a teenaged child. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing the girl; in fact this isn't really about her. This is a lesson in thinking with the right head; at the right time; and doing the right thing.
We'll call him Frank. Frank alleged he wanted to end the relationship because it wasn't working and it wasn't what he wanted. He's still young, getting his life together, and not ready for a child, but his error in judgment is now going to leave him with a woman he'd rather not deal with and a child he's ill-prepared for. He alleged proximity to his job is why he continued to stay with her instead of staying with his boy; however, lack of planning and foresight was a part of the problem. Franks additional mistakes were 1) prematurely jumping into a relationship; 2) moving in with her in her place; and 3) not protecting himself during his mixed signals.
Lesson learned...if you say you want to end a relationship; end it. Make provisions to take care of yourself and move on. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT continue sleeping with the person and if you do so, make you're protected.
Have a plan If you don't have a plan, random circumstances will make one for you. And you probably won't like it much.
Decide what you would like and go for it. Success is no more complicated than that.
The energy and time you spend can either bring you toward your dreams or it can keep you in the service of someone else's dream. Choose to follow your own dreams.
Explore your own most deeply held values and purposes. Decide precisely how you would like your world and your life to be.
The most dismal failures are not caused by the inability to reach a goal. Those failures are the result of not having a clear enough and meaningful enough goal.
Know exactly where you intend to go, and you're much more likely to get there. Have a plan, follow it with persistence, and enjoy being where you sincerely choose to be.
-- Ralph Marston