03 July 2007

things i shouldn't say out loud

hey y'all! please forgive the untimely posts. there's a lot going in the jewelry shop (my life) and it's kinda prevented me from being an active poster. i am getting to read many of your posts though, so you know i'm still out there.

anyhoo, i thought i'd post something light-hearted today; here goes...

"who the hell told him that living at home with his mama, buying all the latest gadgets instead of getting his own place and being a man was a good look?"

"why does the guy in the 'geek squad' look like a little troll or something from Lord of the Flies?"

"your baby is not cute and you shouldn't be acting like it's the next Gerber baby"

"no, you're perfume does not smell nice and it was a waste of money"

"no, i can't spare any change, i'm broke too dammit!"

"of course i want change, do you really think your service was worth more than the standard?"

"i don't care about Robbie's lack of interest in the computer save for video games. you make too much damn money to stand around talking instead of working"

"OMG! You look like Professor Klump in that tight ass outfit"

"you're so stupid that i bet your other head has more sense than you and it's little!"

"you're a nasty-stank-lazy-no washing your hands after you use the toilet-heffa"

"i wish i could just slap the stupid things you say outta your mouth"

"you bore me so badly that even my butt is numb"

"i'd like to do things to you that would make serial killers look like boy scouts"

"i wish i got paid six figures to sit at my desk to eat and sleep you lazy bastard"

"if you really wanna know why you can't get a date, bathe, get a wardrobe, and get a personality"

"your husband works late cause he'd rather have an affair with the cleaning lady than come home to you"

"i wouldn't eat that if i were you"

"yes, that outfit makes you look fat!"

"yes, you do need to work out, boobs on a man is not attractive"

"no, you can't get in my pants, i already have an asshole thanks!"

"you remind me of my jeep...the one i crashed!"

21 comments:

Miz JJ said...

Hilarious. I have wanted to say most of the stuff on that list at one point or another.

BZ said...

"no, you can't get in my pants, i already have an asshole thanks"

AHAHAHAHA I'ma have to use that one!

deepnthought said...

too funny.

A woman on the move said...

"who the hell told him that living at home with his mama, buying all the latest gadgets instead of getting his own place and being a man was a good look?"

Can I get an Amen!
Or about that same man who thinks its cool to lay up in some woman’s crib. Because after all she should be grateful to have a man. Fool, please!

"if you really wanna know why you can't get a date, bathe, get a wardrobe, and get a personality"

LMAO!!!
Some people don’t realize, it starts with YOU boo!

"your husband works late cause he'd rather have an affair with the cleaning lady than come home to you"

Damn, it sucks to be you! LOL

Rosemarie said...

You don't say these things. Do you? I'll bet you think them and perhaps mumble them in your own personal space, but not aloud.

You made me laugh. I needed it!

Honey-Libra said...

You bore me so much my butt hurts AHHHH LOL

I need to use that

Glad your aight chica!! Have a wonderful holiday

Blu Jewel said...

mizz jj - lol! at least i'm not the only one who thinks these things

bz - say it out loud too! i actually have.

dnt - happy to put a smile on your face

wotm - you gets the Amen! and i raise you a "woop, woop" on layin up in a woman's crib...jigga please i can do bad all by myself and they make toys/batteries for a reason...lmao!

rosemarie - no, i haven't actually said them, save for the one about pants/assholes. one day my mouth might move before my brain can catch it though...*snicker*

Blu Jewel said...

honey - u snuck in while i was commenting *lol* yeah, that one made me laugh as i was thinking it...*snicker*

Wendy said...

"you're a nasty-stank-lazy-no washing your hands after you use the toilet-heffa"...LOL Damn . Can we post this one in the womens restroom?

YAZMAR said...

lol so funny..Ive thought some of those same things.....

chele said...

"who the hell told him that living at home with his mama, buying all the latest gadgets instead of getting his own place and being a man was a good look?"

Sounds like my son ... and he's 16!

Organized Noise said...

This is great. I bet you felt better after you were finished. You might have started something with this.

rayne said...

RFLMBAO!!!!

Sojourner G said...

Whoa Honey! Work that thang out then! Some of this was too funny. other of it was scary.

Peace Luv

David said...

"no, you can't get in my pants, i already have an asshole thanks"

Ahhhh hahahaha.

That's awesome.

Debo Blue said...

"Yes you look fat in that outfit!" Now this is something we SHOULD say out loud:-)

Darius T. Williams said...

Wow - this is super funny.

The Mistress said...

YOU ARE SICK AND TWISTED!

ROFL.

T.C. said...

"i wish i could just slap the stupid things you say outta your mouth"
HA! CLASSIC!

YAZMAR said...

Hay Blu!

josie said...

"you're so stupid that i bet your other head has more sense than you and it's little!" - that one was mean. lol