I was over at Oh Hell Nawl and came across a sad, but ABSOLUTE MUST READ post.
Please make time to check it out and please share your concerns/opinions on the story either on here or on the OHN site.
Real Talk
Showing posts with label sex crimes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex crimes. Show all posts
26 March 2009
wrong in every way
I was over at Yazmar's spot; saw this pic, and was instantly mad as hell. This is the reason why we have some much inappropriate sexual behaviour in our community. Grown ass women acting a damn monkey with little boys. Whoever took this pic is just as bad as the stank thang in the pic. The little boy is all on his little tippy-toes trying to hump that a butt that's bigger than he is. This is so wrong and we need to stop thinking this is cute and appropriate.
I wish I would find some chic all up on one of my nephews and see if I don't slap the taste out her mouth without even hestitating. There is no way anyone can justify this as right.
Ugh....
Love to live; live to love!
16 April 2008
protecting our chldren part 2
On Monday afternoon I caught an episode of Montel where he was updating the viewers on previous guests. I watched in curious anticipation of what the show would entail and I quickly found out, and was immediately moved to tears as a result.
Montel was getting the current status on children who’d been assaulted on school grounds. I was shocked, appalled, and almost homicidal as the guests recounted the trauma that their children suffered at the hands of their peers. One boy and his friend (both aged 7) had been in the bathroom when four older boys (aged 12) came in and began threatening them. They kicked and punched the one boy, pushed him down, pulled his pants off and began raping him with a stick and then forced the stick into his penis. The four boys went on to force their penises in the boy’s mouth and in fear the remaining boy ran out to get help. He told the playground monitor what was happening and they disregarded his pleas; giving him no comfort at all. The abused boy lived in fear, pain, and intimidation for 31 days before he finally spoke up. Naturally, his mother contacted the school and sought retribution for her child only to be slapped in the face by the school not acknowledging the assault and rape. The offending boys were not suspended, expelled, or given any disciplinary punishment. The abused child under gone two surgical procedures to help correct the damage done to him and is facing a third; in spite of all the surgeries he will be scarred for life.
The real sad part of this story and the others I heard about is that the victim was treated like the bad guy. He was given no protection where needed and his abuse was compounded by school officials denying the severity of the problem and not ensuring the offenders were punished. To add insult to injury, the DA refused to prosecute citing they didn’t have enough proof or grounds. WTF? So, a 7 year old boy is violently attacked and raped, which was in part witnessed by his friend who reported it and you don’t have enough grounds? Friends, I had no words. None, zip, zero, nada! I was stunned and appalled that the school and the so-called judical system failed that child in gargantuan proportions.
This is one of many; if not hundreds of incidents that is occurring in our schools today. As parents, aunts, uncles, older brothers or sisters, we must play an active role in our children’s live in terms of their safety. We must get active in the school and find out what its policies are on bullying, assault, and other crimes that take place on school grounds. It’s important that we monitor our children’s grades, health, and behavior in order to know when something isn’t quite right. We must not remove our children from the schools when they are the victims because by doing that we’re allowing the problem to continue and leave other children in a violent environment. Instead we must remain diligent in our efforts to force the school and local authorities to take the appropriate action against the offenders. And where applicable, seek legal counsel from a lawyer who specializes in crimes against children because they are the most receptive to the issue.
Child on child violence is nothing to ignore as it can be equally brutal to adult on child violence. Furthermore, it forces dialog on how these offending children became so violent and dangerous in the first place. More often than not, the offending child was a victim of some form of abuse and/or exposed to sexual things prematurely. We cannot continue to sit idly by while our children are either becoming victims or the victimizer. Intervention and counseling is necessary for these children to understand that their actions are wrong and unacceptable. Appropriate action is mandatory to reducing this potential epidemic.
“I believe the children are our future; teach them well and let them lead the way; show them all the beauty they possess inside…” *excerpt from “Greatest Love of All”*
If that is really true, then we have of work to do; starting right NOW!
Love!
Montel was getting the current status on children who’d been assaulted on school grounds. I was shocked, appalled, and almost homicidal as the guests recounted the trauma that their children suffered at the hands of their peers. One boy and his friend (both aged 7) had been in the bathroom when four older boys (aged 12) came in and began threatening them. They kicked and punched the one boy, pushed him down, pulled his pants off and began raping him with a stick and then forced the stick into his penis. The four boys went on to force their penises in the boy’s mouth and in fear the remaining boy ran out to get help. He told the playground monitor what was happening and they disregarded his pleas; giving him no comfort at all. The abused boy lived in fear, pain, and intimidation for 31 days before he finally spoke up. Naturally, his mother contacted the school and sought retribution for her child only to be slapped in the face by the school not acknowledging the assault and rape. The offending boys were not suspended, expelled, or given any disciplinary punishment. The abused child under gone two surgical procedures to help correct the damage done to him and is facing a third; in spite of all the surgeries he will be scarred for life.
The real sad part of this story and the others I heard about is that the victim was treated like the bad guy. He was given no protection where needed and his abuse was compounded by school officials denying the severity of the problem and not ensuring the offenders were punished. To add insult to injury, the DA refused to prosecute citing they didn’t have enough proof or grounds. WTF? So, a 7 year old boy is violently attacked and raped, which was in part witnessed by his friend who reported it and you don’t have enough grounds? Friends, I had no words. None, zip, zero, nada! I was stunned and appalled that the school and the so-called judical system failed that child in gargantuan proportions.
This is one of many; if not hundreds of incidents that is occurring in our schools today. As parents, aunts, uncles, older brothers or sisters, we must play an active role in our children’s live in terms of their safety. We must get active in the school and find out what its policies are on bullying, assault, and other crimes that take place on school grounds. It’s important that we monitor our children’s grades, health, and behavior in order to know when something isn’t quite right. We must not remove our children from the schools when they are the victims because by doing that we’re allowing the problem to continue and leave other children in a violent environment. Instead we must remain diligent in our efforts to force the school and local authorities to take the appropriate action against the offenders. And where applicable, seek legal counsel from a lawyer who specializes in crimes against children because they are the most receptive to the issue.
Child on child violence is nothing to ignore as it can be equally brutal to adult on child violence. Furthermore, it forces dialog on how these offending children became so violent and dangerous in the first place. More often than not, the offending child was a victim of some form of abuse and/or exposed to sexual things prematurely. We cannot continue to sit idly by while our children are either becoming victims or the victimizer. Intervention and counseling is necessary for these children to understand that their actions are wrong and unacceptable. Appropriate action is mandatory to reducing this potential epidemic.
“I believe the children are our future; teach them well and let them lead the way; show them all the beauty they possess inside…” *excerpt from “Greatest Love of All”*
If that is really true, then we have of work to do; starting right NOW!
Love!
10 April 2008
what would you do?
You find out that your son has raped his step sister; do you confront him; tell your stepchild’s father; or do you say nothing?
Naturally, the latter is never the option; however, it was an option exacted by a woman who alleges that her son could never and would never do something like that. The young lady in question was very forthright about what happened and was unwavering in her telling of the story. One would assume that her father would be supportive and protective of his daughter, but instead he did little to aid in a positive outcome. His reasoning was that he didn’t want to disrupt the family and the boy would be put on any form of punishment the daughter deemed necessary. WTF? Is what I hear coming through the bloglines. Yes, that was my reaction and then some.
Naturally, this situation caused a lot of disruption in the household and to add insult to injury the father then began to touch his daughter inappropriately while she slept. Again, the daughter spoke up, but to no avail and her stepmother gave her even more grief than before.
Long story short, the young lady finally spoke up to someone who believed her and in her and provided some much needed support. She moved out of the home and into the home of a caring person. Eventually, the young lady contacted the police and charges were filed.
This story is one that is particularly painful for me to comprehend because there is no reason why the father was so complacent in his roles and responsibilities. Wait, I digress. I guess it was obvious per his own molestation of his daughter, that he had issues and couldn’t be the father he was supposed to be. He shirked his responsibility when he downplayed what his stepson had done as did his wife; citing the boy couldn’t do such a thing. Why could he not. The girl was not his blood relative, she might have been attractive to him, and he could simply be deviant in his behavior traits. Whatever the case, this situation is a illustration of how families downplay and perpetuate sexual assault.
As I stated in yesterday’s post, we must stop acting like these things couldn’t happen to us or our children. We must believe in our children when they say someone did something to them. There is minimal reason why any child would lie about something like that. Yes, there are those who are malicious enough to lie, but for the most part that happens infrequently.
Reinforcing family values, family codes of conduct, and talking about sexual issues is paramount to establishing a good and functional family structure. We live in a society that blurs the lines on so many sexual topics, but this should not be one of them. It is more than important to educate our children and family members about proper sexual tones and overtures. We must teach our children to know the difference between a good touch and a bad touch. Educating males and females from an early age on is essential to their knowing how to conduct themselves and how to be treated by others in spite of the sexual overtones they’re exposed to.
I look forward to the day when sexual abuse is eradicated.
Love!
Naturally, the latter is never the option; however, it was an option exacted by a woman who alleges that her son could never and would never do something like that. The young lady in question was very forthright about what happened and was unwavering in her telling of the story. One would assume that her father would be supportive and protective of his daughter, but instead he did little to aid in a positive outcome. His reasoning was that he didn’t want to disrupt the family and the boy would be put on any form of punishment the daughter deemed necessary. WTF? Is what I hear coming through the bloglines. Yes, that was my reaction and then some.
Naturally, this situation caused a lot of disruption in the household and to add insult to injury the father then began to touch his daughter inappropriately while she slept. Again, the daughter spoke up, but to no avail and her stepmother gave her even more grief than before.
Long story short, the young lady finally spoke up to someone who believed her and in her and provided some much needed support. She moved out of the home and into the home of a caring person. Eventually, the young lady contacted the police and charges were filed.
This story is one that is particularly painful for me to comprehend because there is no reason why the father was so complacent in his roles and responsibilities. Wait, I digress. I guess it was obvious per his own molestation of his daughter, that he had issues and couldn’t be the father he was supposed to be. He shirked his responsibility when he downplayed what his stepson had done as did his wife; citing the boy couldn’t do such a thing. Why could he not. The girl was not his blood relative, she might have been attractive to him, and he could simply be deviant in his behavior traits. Whatever the case, this situation is a illustration of how families downplay and perpetuate sexual assault.
As I stated in yesterday’s post, we must stop acting like these things couldn’t happen to us or our children. We must believe in our children when they say someone did something to them. There is minimal reason why any child would lie about something like that. Yes, there are those who are malicious enough to lie, but for the most part that happens infrequently.
Reinforcing family values, family codes of conduct, and talking about sexual issues is paramount to establishing a good and functional family structure. We live in a society that blurs the lines on so many sexual topics, but this should not be one of them. It is more than important to educate our children and family members about proper sexual tones and overtures. We must teach our children to know the difference between a good touch and a bad touch. Educating males and females from an early age on is essential to their knowing how to conduct themselves and how to be treated by others in spite of the sexual overtones they’re exposed to.
I look forward to the day when sexual abuse is eradicated.
Love!
09 April 2008
And I wonder Part 2
I look at lil lady who'll be 16 on Friday and wonder what I'd do if someone violated her in any way. As one who's been on the down side of that issue, I know my gut instinct would be to shoot first; ask questions later. Naturally, that wouldn't serve either my daughter of myself well seeing as I'd end up indicted because I wouldn't be able to conjure up Johnny Cochran (RIP) to get me off.
Since lil lady was 18 months old, I began teaching her about "good touch' bad touch" because she was enterting pre-school and I wanted her to know that people couldn't just touch her any old kind of way. I told her that neither an adult nor a child could touch her under her clothes, between her legs, or in any way that made her uncomfortable. Fortunately, lil lady was quite a talker at an early age and seemed to comprehend what I was saying and was vocal (in her own way) in asking about what I meant. I checked her over daily and asked if anyone had touched her when she went to the bathroom. Thank goodness there were no negative reports, but it never gave me room for pause because I know how quickly and easily these things can occur.
As she aged, I continued to educate her about "good touch; bad touch" and reinforced how important it was to tell me or another adult she trusted if someone did anything to her. I also reinforced to her that she could talk to me about anything no matter what it was because I would be there to support her through everything. Again, I was and continue to be fortunate that nothing bad has happened to her and I pray that it never will. I feel good as a parent that I take the time to talk to my daughter about not letting anyone do anything to her or be in a position where she could be violated or compromised in any way. As a survivor, I speak from first hand knowledge to lil lady so I don't sound text book, so she can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be there in everyway, and that I'll always advocate her safety and well being. I refuse to be that parent who doesn't speak about sexual crimes to their daughter or son for that matter. I refuse to think that it couldn't happen to mine. I also refuse to accept that she should remain silent God-forbid something happened to her. We've discussed the importance of speaking up, coming forward, and enlisting the law if necessary. Forget embarassment and such; sexual assault is a CRIME!
I wasn't fortunate to receive all the warnings, advice, and information that I provide lil lady. I also didn't have the confidence in telling anyone what happened to me until much later in my life. I was blessed to receive strong pastoral guidance, the care of two great counselors, and a few compassionate friends to aid in my recovery and survivorship. I'm in a wonderful place in my life and have put that past very far behind me. It's my goal to help anyone male or female through the recovery process of sexual abuse. It's a heinous and ugly crime that is inflicted far too often.
Whether we realize it or not, we all know someone who's been a victim of a sexual crime. Sexual crimes are not crimes of violence; though the act itself can be; it's a crime of deviance and control. We must not allow this to continue. I ask that each of you get in touch with a resource center and see what you can do to help those affected by sexual crimes. We react to the raping of children in other countries with disgust and passion, yet fail to react when it happens in our homes or communities. Though it's a global epidemic, we must take care of home first. We need to rebuild our communities and prevent this dysfunction and the silence from continuing. We must attention to the behavior patterns of our children. We must stop using sex as a tool or a weapon of mass desrtuction. We have to encourage open dialog on this topic and stop shying away from it. That uncle whom we know it a little "off" so we stay away from him must be confronted if his behavior is that questionable. We can NOT ignore the signs that are often very much obvious.
I'm not embarassed to air my past because I feel that by doing so I'm letting it go and also helping someone else work toward their own healing and recovery.
Love!
Since lil lady was 18 months old, I began teaching her about "good touch' bad touch" because she was enterting pre-school and I wanted her to know that people couldn't just touch her any old kind of way. I told her that neither an adult nor a child could touch her under her clothes, between her legs, or in any way that made her uncomfortable. Fortunately, lil lady was quite a talker at an early age and seemed to comprehend what I was saying and was vocal (in her own way) in asking about what I meant. I checked her over daily and asked if anyone had touched her when she went to the bathroom. Thank goodness there were no negative reports, but it never gave me room for pause because I know how quickly and easily these things can occur.
As she aged, I continued to educate her about "good touch; bad touch" and reinforced how important it was to tell me or another adult she trusted if someone did anything to her. I also reinforced to her that she could talk to me about anything no matter what it was because I would be there to support her through everything. Again, I was and continue to be fortunate that nothing bad has happened to her and I pray that it never will. I feel good as a parent that I take the time to talk to my daughter about not letting anyone do anything to her or be in a position where she could be violated or compromised in any way. As a survivor, I speak from first hand knowledge to lil lady so I don't sound text book, so she can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be there in everyway, and that I'll always advocate her safety and well being. I refuse to be that parent who doesn't speak about sexual crimes to their daughter or son for that matter. I refuse to think that it couldn't happen to mine. I also refuse to accept that she should remain silent God-forbid something happened to her. We've discussed the importance of speaking up, coming forward, and enlisting the law if necessary. Forget embarassment and such; sexual assault is a CRIME!
I wasn't fortunate to receive all the warnings, advice, and information that I provide lil lady. I also didn't have the confidence in telling anyone what happened to me until much later in my life. I was blessed to receive strong pastoral guidance, the care of two great counselors, and a few compassionate friends to aid in my recovery and survivorship. I'm in a wonderful place in my life and have put that past very far behind me. It's my goal to help anyone male or female through the recovery process of sexual abuse. It's a heinous and ugly crime that is inflicted far too often.
Whether we realize it or not, we all know someone who's been a victim of a sexual crime. Sexual crimes are not crimes of violence; though the act itself can be; it's a crime of deviance and control. We must not allow this to continue. I ask that each of you get in touch with a resource center and see what you can do to help those affected by sexual crimes. We react to the raping of children in other countries with disgust and passion, yet fail to react when it happens in our homes or communities. Though it's a global epidemic, we must take care of home first. We need to rebuild our communities and prevent this dysfunction and the silence from continuing. We must attention to the behavior patterns of our children. We must stop using sex as a tool or a weapon of mass desrtuction. We have to encourage open dialog on this topic and stop shying away from it. That uncle whom we know it a little "off" so we stay away from him must be confronted if his behavior is that questionable. We can NOT ignore the signs that are often very much obvious.
I'm not embarassed to air my past because I feel that by doing so I'm letting it go and also helping someone else work toward their own healing and recovery.
Love!
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