No-homo

This post was inspired by Luv.

In the comment to my last post, Luv gave me compliment on my current pic and said, "yeah i looked at your pic and instantly was like what's wrong with these guys. you are gorgeous (no homo").

Why is it that we have to put a disclaimer on giving someone a compliment? Has society gotten that far out of control that we can't give someone of the same gender a compliment without being thought of as "homo"?

I think it's half past ridiculous that we're taking 'politically correctness' to this extreme. In fact, there is nothing I deem politically incorrect about giving someone a damn compliment. If someone is pretty, sexy, or whatever the verb of the day is and you want to speak on it, then dammit; speak on it. No one should have to preface what they're saying; especially when they're saying something nice.

I'm so sick and tired of everything having to have some kind of preface or disclaimer to it when it comes to everyday people, but if we're referring to a celebrity, it's okay to say they're whatever the complimentary very is for them. Don't try to sell me London Bridge cause 1) it doesn't exist and 2) it damn sure isn't in London and 3) I don't have that kind of cash anyway.

My point is, when you come to iS iT jUsT mE? you can whatever you'd like in response to my pix or what I post without prefacing it. Just know that if you come at me sideways without just cause, I'm going to give it back to you. I welcome debate, I just ask people to not use profanity or resort to name calling when trying to make their point.

Now, that all being said, please don't refrain giving someone a compliment if you feel they deserve it and certainly don't preface it as it then becomes backhanded and insincere.

That's my jewel dusting for the day and thanks again to Luv for the inspiration.

It's all possible!

My dime in the bucket

So, with the plethora of things going on in the news and world around me, I thought I'd voice my opinion on a few on them.

Issue #1
So, what is the deal with people who have Facebook pages, but don't have a profile pic? What kind of foolishness is that? I mean, it's call FACEbook for a reason, so one would assume that you should have your face up. Furthermore, why do people pic their childhood pix up or pix of their children. Can I tell you how much this pisses me off? I think it's frustrating, annoying, and senseless. If you don't want people to know what you look like NOW then you shouldn't have a damn FB page. Oh, another thing that I can't stand on FB are the people who put pix of themselves up when they were younger and/or more attractive. Don't they think at some point someone will want to do a face to face and then they'll be seen for who they are NOW? Ugh, the unnecessary practices people use for social networking.

Issue #2
No, Tiger Woods is not off limits either, but I'm going to come at it from a different angle. I think Elin knew that he was cheating, but played the doting wife/mother who would never think her husband would do anything like that. I think she is a sneaky little woman who played her hand and then when the proverbial hit the fan, she said, you know what, I've stuck around long enough to get a couple of crotch trophies out the deal and enough money to by a multi-million house back in her native land before the ink is dry on divorce papers. In addition, I'm sure she and at least one of the mistresses were in cahoots to scam, embarrass and extort Tiger.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning what he did, because I think people should honour their vows regardless. I think he was dumb as duck shit and picked the wrong jump offs to mess with. Rule of thumb when you're married and you decide to cheat is that you cheat with someone who has as much as if not more to lose than you do. Granted, there aren't many women who are stacking paper like Tiger is; except Oprah, but dammit, these little stank ass hoes who are saving txts and emails? Really? These tricks knew what the hell they were doing and were just waiting for their day in the tabloids. It's tricks like these that give other Jump Offs a bad rap. I'd like to slap the taste out of all of their triflin asses.

I'm not proud to admit this, but back in my youth, messed with someone's husband, but I made sure I never got pregnant, knew, understood, and respected the rules of engagement, and I damn sure wouldn't put myself in the position where she could put me on blast or where I would use the situation to my gain. Yes, he was someone high profile.

Tiger picked the wrong women and his game of being a cheater were no match for his golf game. Nuff said; moving on.

Issue #3
What is with married men thinking it's their marital right to have affairs? I was propositioned by a married man and I turned him down. It was not only the right thing to do, but I've done the 1st place 2nd thing before and I'll be damned if I ever do that again. My self worth/respect rates a lot more than that position. I'm so sick of men thinking that because they heard there was a shortage of "good black men" that we black women will settle for being the Jump Off. Sadly, I can't fully fault the men for their diminished mindset because if women didn't settle for being 1st place 2nd, then the married men wouldn't have pause to pursue.

I'm also annoyed by the fact that they think they're even good men. How are you married, happily or otherwise, but nonetheless still married, a good guy when you're breaking your vows, compromising your home life and creeping around with another woman; or men in some cases?

Well, that's my Dime in the Bucket for the night.

Enjoy your holidays people and as always love to live; live to love!

I'm really not that popular!

I take friendships very seriously and don't appoint the title easily to people. While it's pretty much a generic term when referring to people we know; there is a depth and growth that makes one a true friend. I have a small and close-knit circle and we're fiercely loyal and are ride or die. We fight; we laugh; we love; we call each other out; but there is no doubt that we mean the world to each other.

But I didn't bring you here to tell you that (stole that phrase from Terry)

I was looking at my "Friends" List on Facebook and saw that I have 215 friend...Really? I think not. I may know 215 people, but to call them all friends just ain't happening. I've never been one who strived to be the center of attention, enjoy the limelight, or think that I'm better than someone else because of how many people I know. I take quality over quantity any day.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be offensive to anyone on my Friends List and I'm certainly not taking my acquaintences for granted because for most part; each person has played a role in my life in some capacity. All I'm saying is that I do not use Facebook or any other social networking tool as a measure of my popularity or as a means to pry into the lives of others. For me, it's a communicative device to make quick and easy contact with people; to network; or interact in some way. I'm amused at the people who use tools like Facebook, MySpace, or one of the other tools to be Head of the Class and I'm even more amused as those who get offended over whether or not their in someone's Top List. Wow! Talk about delusions of granduer, arrognace, or conceit.

Anyway, I've said all that to say, that I'm quite content blogging for myself; however, I do appreciate those who come by and read my rantings. I'm happy for those I'm in contact with through Facebook, but note that none of what I do is for popularity.

Thanks for reading...have a blessed day...love to live; live to love!

Read this, voice your concern, and be aware; very aware of your actions

I was over at Oh Hell Nawl and came across a sad, but ABSOLUTE MUST READ post.

Please make time to check it out and please share your concerns/opinions on the story either on here or on the OHN site.
Real Talk

Things that make upset in the community

...the continued fad of saggin pants

...proceating with known dead beat dads

...having expensive and tricked out cars while living in the hood or with yo mama

...how folk be tawkin like dey don't know no bedda

...showing up at your childs school looking a triple hot mess

...having money to get your hair and nails did, but fuss that baby doesn't have any milk/pampers

...spending more money on material things (bling, cars, clothes etc.,) and not on things that promote wealth (education, stability, upward mobility etc.,)

...keeping up with your vehicles scheduled maintenance and not on your health

...blaming your obesity on being big-boneded

...putting Tims, Jordans, or other expensive shoes on a baby that can't walk

...doing nothing to uplift your community, but complain that the other folk have this or that

...women who dress scantily clad and gyrate to mysogonistic lyrics and then complain about being stepped to some kind of way

...teaching our children to be grown and then fuss them out for "acting grown"

...knowing lyrics to all the horrible songs out there, but not know the schoolwork

...being able to do the latest dance, but can't pass a fitness test

...speaking Ebonics and such is NOT proper English

Deuces!

Love to live; live to love!

Hateration!!

I was at a party this past weekend and was so ready to serve up a smorgasbord of the above picture to the women in the house. Why? Because there was no need for all the visual hateration I was getting. I give props to all the full-figured women who sported their mini dresses, low cleavage tops, and very tight pants for their confidence. Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it they say.

Now, I'm 5' 7" barefoot. I wear 3-4 inch heels almost daily and 5 when I'm really feeling it. I weight between 145-150, have a 29 inch waist, and am considered fit by all health standards. I can comfortably fit clothes in single digits from the Juniors department and am damn sure proud of being able to maintain my body at almost 42 years old.

I don't make a habit of coming off as "all that" because I'm not "all that" as beauty is subjective, but let's just say, I; for the most part am not lacking for attention. I walk with an air of confidence because I am confident in myself, but am far from arrogant or conceited. Anyway, while at this party, the women looked at me like they wanted to throw me off the boat. Why? That's yet to be determined, but let's say it's safe to assume that my outfit was commanding all kinds of attention from both the men and women. I chose it because I was comfortable in it and also because I knew it would be hot on the boat. I didn't wear it because I was seeking attention as the haters might think.

My point of this is that I'm sick and tired of women giving me the side eye or mean mugging me because they think I think I'm all that. I also am sick of being visually criticized because I'm wearing something they wish they could have. Now, as I said before, if the full-figured women can sport their (sometimes inappropriate) outfits, then why can't I? I'm not going to start wearing a Burkha because someone is jealous or envious of me, my clothes, or my figure.

So, here's what I looked like...

Love to live; live to love!

Frankly, I don’t give a damn!!!

I came across a copy of US Weekly magazine; the one with Jake & Reese on the front and began perusing it as I ate my Cheerios. There was an article about Lindsay Lohan and her financial woes. I read it and chuckled as she complained about not having money, being unemployed “it’s scary being unemployed…”, and finding it hard to get work. Really? What about the everyday folk who weren’t making millions? How the heck do you think they feel? Well, if she hadn’t squandered her reputation whilin out and being promiscuous or her money on $1000k + Gucci bags and such, maybe she’d have a fighting chance of being employable and might have some money in the bank.

According to the article, she had to vacate her $10k a month, (yes, I said a month) spot because she couldn’t afford to keep up with the lease. Now she’s living with former girlfriend Samantha Ronson because she apparently doesn’t have anywhere else to live. In addition, she’s basically grasping at straws to get someone to hire her. “She’s delusional and takes zero responsibility. I can’t imagine anybody is going to take a chance on her”. That’s pretty damn sad. But again I say, when your social and financial behavior is erratic why should someone believe in you. Can you imagine going to your job drunk, high, inappropriately dressed, or acting a fool and they want to keep you around? Or when it’s time for your appraisal, they give you a favorable report? Absolutely not! So, if Ms. Lohan or those like her really think they deserve another chance, then she’ll have to earn it. Just like you or I, we have to be about it; not talk about it. Actions always speak louder than words.

Lindsay had it going on for a little while and I’ll give it to her that she was young, but that’s why you get proper guidance and rely on people who’ll tell you the truth and not what you want to hear. Even though she got into the biz young, it’s not like she didn’t know the trappings that could come with it. Yes, it must be really nice to walk into a store and spend $20k like it’s nothing, but no matter how wealthy one is; being fiscally responsible is always a good look. Having money saved and/or properly invested for a rainy day is definitely a good look.

I don’t feel bad for celebrities who are living their dream, being paid mad money for it, and then they toss it away living a life of partying and excess. I don’t care how much notoriety you have, you should never squander your earnings or reputation because when you fall, you might not be able to come back from it. Unlike you’re average Joe/Jane, they do not live a life that’s not without public scrutiny, so when you fall from grace, it’s like walking around with the scarlet letter on your chest and you’re now seen as a liability. No matter who you are, you should never forget where you came from or burn bridges because when the proverbial ish hits the fan, you might have to start again from ground zero, which is often much harder than the first go around.

So, I’ve said all that to say, I frankly don’t give a damn. I don’t care about Michael Vick with his dog drama. I don’t care about Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, or any other celebrity who has squandered their lifes passion/dream on foolishness or doing foolish things. Why? Because there are so many of us who have the talent, but aren’t in the fortunate position to have it recognized or paid for. It’s the average Joe/Jane that so often do more with the little they have, than those who have money/position/notoriety. The average Joe/Jane is the backbone of this society and should be lauded for it. If I had my way, I’d create a magazine called The Average Joe/Jane, which chronicled stories of everyday people who’ve overcome great trials, who help others, or make a difference in their communities. It’s those people the damn paparazzi should be following and not these celebrities who can’t get right.

Well, that’s my rank for the day…Have a great one people!


Love to live; live to love!

wrong in every way

I was over at Yazmar's spot; saw this pic, and was instantly mad as hell. This is the reason why we have some much inappropriate sexual behaviour in our community. Grown ass women acting a damn monkey with little boys. Whoever took this pic is just as bad as the stank thang in the pic. The little boy is all on his little tippy-toes trying to hump that a butt that's bigger than he is. This is so wrong and we need to stop thinking this is cute and appropriate.

I wish I would find some chic all up on one of my nephews and see if I don't slap the taste out her mouth without even hestitating. There is no way anyone can justify this as right.

Ugh....

Love to live; live to love!

all the hoopla!

Okay, so I'm sure many of you have heard about the transexual who's competing on America's Next Top Model. If you haven't, check out the story Top Model Twist.

So, let me just come out and ask the question, do you have a problem with people who aren't of the same sexual orientation or gender identity as you? Please think before answering and most importantly be honest. That being said, let me continue...

I have never had an issue with people of other races, genders, sexual orientation/preference/or identity. Why? Because I never had a reason to. As far as I'm concerned, we're all our respective people; good and bad, so we must live and let live. My liberal viewpoint stems from where and how I was raised and it has been with me ever since.

Growing up in London, I truly felt like I was in a melting pot. I had friends of all races and we shared our cultures with each other. I knew of gays/lesbians and while I didn't understand the true dynamic of it, I wasn't offended by them. I did know a drag queen by way of a friend and I was rather fascinated by how well he looked as a woman. It wasn't until I moved to the U.S that I started to see and understand the full spectrum of sexual orientation in its many forms.

I became aware of how people were negatively treated and affected by their sexuality and made to feel ashamed of who they were. While there are those who I feel have 'chosen' to be gay (male or female), I truly believe that most gays were born that way. I doubt highly they woke up one morning and said, "chile, i think imma start sexin men cause it's good look". Face it, it's like a white person waking up and deciding to be black. Why would they put themselves through that level of persecution and torment? They wouldn't.

Anyhoo, I digress...I happen to have an extremely close and dear friend who is a male-to-female transsexual. She's one of the most admirable people I know because she chose to be true to herself and be the person she always felt she was. Ironically, my friend was once married; in the military (a pilot to boot); and has a child, but still always knew that something wasn't right within herself. Naturally, we had a lengthy discussion about hiding her true sexual feelings and identity and she told me that society refuses to accept that there are deviations in ones DNA or predispostion to all things sexual. She grew up in the mid 30's so coming out was very difficult much less telling your family that you'd rather be the opposing gender. Fortunately, my friend had a supportive wife while he was married who afforded a divorce and allowed my friend to pursue her life as a woman; they remain very good friends to this day and their daughter is well adjusted, very smart, and currently pursuing her Ph.D.

I've said all this to say, that yes, for the most part we all digress to The Bible for guidance and in many ways to demean and offend those who don't quite fit in to mainstream society. I think we should in many ways leave religion and/or religious doctrines out of this discussion. I truly do think that sexual orientation/identity is something that we're born with and for many it's something that is not like the majority. I know I'm going to probably raise all kind of moral backlash for my thoughts, but ask me if I care; this is MY house and I can say what I want and think.

Again, I digress...I have friends of all races, religions, and sexual preference and I accept them for whom they are. I do not think disallowing a transsexual or transgendered person to participate in a contest is fair. We need to see beyond what's considered socially acceptable and simply learn tolerance. No, you don't have to like it, but you should at least accept and respect the person. Ms. James who sits two offices from yours could be a call girl by night even though she rocks her Jones New York to the office by day. Mr. Smith could be wearing women's underwear to work under his Brooks Brother's suit. My point is that we don't know what the inner workings of anyone's psyche is and we can't jump on our moral pedastals because someone doesn't prescribe to the same makeup as us.

Not one of us is perfect or exempt from saying anything, doing anything, or dressing in a way that deviates from what's considered acceptable. We've got men screwing men on the down low, priests molesting little boys, pedophiles in the neighborhood and we're worring about a transsexual; gimme a gotdamn break. I've got tattooes, had a child out of wedlock, am black, have dated out of my race, yada, yada; so does that make me disposable because I've allegedly violated some societal rule? I think not, so I think it's enough with the trash talk over a transsexual potential model. There was an openly lesbian model competing some time ago and I don't think it raised too much hoopla, so neither should this. Personally, I think the haters are just mad cause she actually is rather attractive. I also think the men are mad cause they might find themselves caught out there is they ran up on her.

Okay, I'm done people!

Love!

ignorance is NOT bliss

I'm one who does not believe the ish that the media feeds us. I rarely watch the news or even read a newspaper. For those of us who are striving to stay truly informed, we read, we research, we network with like-minded people who know that ignorance is NOT bliss.

I share this link with you all so you; like I, can stay truly informed and do your homework instead of being like sheep lead to the slaughter. Think of it this way when you're watching the news and reading newspapers; what are they NOT telling us. Furthermore, George Orwell and others like him KNEW what they were talking about, many were just too afraid to believe it.

Check it out
North American Union