After a rather relaxing and low key weekend, I figured I'd ride into Monday morning without incident and feel strained to find something to talk about. Well, lo and behold, someone managed to perform a skit from the Dumb Ass Duck Shit Chronicles and send me into a tail spin. Story goes as follows...
I stopped at the local WaWa to grab a cup of coffee (they have great coffee) before I got to work. I'm standing at the coffee bar creating an exotic mix of various coffees, when two apparently acquainted men strike up a conversation.
Man 1: Hey dude! How was your weekend?
Man 2: It was great. A little risky, but man was it great. (He gave a cryptic laugh and grinned like the proverbial Cheshire cat) I fucked my girlfriends mom.
Man 1: Dude? For real dude?! You fucked Karen's mom? How the hell did that happen?
Man 2: I went to get Karen and she wasn't home. Her mom was in her robe when she answered the door. She said she thought I was her boyfriend. She told me to wait in the living room and that Karen had called to say she had to work a couple extra hours and couldn't call me as well as her mom cause they were really busy.
I looked at Man 1 with a thoroughly contemptuous look and walked away get a bottle of water and Man 1 and Man 2 started talking again. One would think they'd be a little quieter, but instead they became loud again. I guess they thought I couldn't hear them anymore. This is what I heard next...
Man 2: Karen's mom is fucking hot dude. I thinks she's always wanted me. (It was obvious Man 2 was really feeling his testosterone)
Man 1: How'd you know man? Talk quick cause I gotta run and don't wanna be late.
They get into a two man huddle I swear no more than two feet behind me as they look for thier respective energy drinks. I guess Man 2 was still feeling himself and Man 1 wanted in on the deal (lol). Anyhoo,
Man 2: So Sheryl, (Karen's mom) comes back down, still in her robe, but now it's kinda open. She's got long legs and nice tits. Not bad for a 45 year old man. (Man 1 chuckles) She starts talking all this shit about not feeling sexy and wanting to do something to make her feel young again.
Man 1: A real MILF huh? (he laughs)
Man 2: Yeah, she's even hotter than Stifler's mom dude. Her tits were juicy. I never thought I'd like 'em a big saggy, but dude they were yummy.
(I laugh at his juvenile description.)
Man 1: Then what?
Man 2: So, she keeps going on and on and then she sits next to me and starts asking me if I think she's attractive and sexy and shit like that. Of course I say yeah, cause she is and she's got her legs dangling outta her robe. I started to get this killer hard on.
Man 1: Dude spill it, I'm gonna be late.
(we're all now heading toward the door)
Man 2: Well, she keeps going on and on, then starts in on her boyrfriend being selfish in bed, then outta nowhere she starts kissing me.
(Man 1's eyes widened and I'm sitting in my SUV faking like I'm on the phone; windows down just so I can keep listening.)
Man 2: So, I start kissing her again and kept telling her how hot and sexy she is. Then she stops me and says we can't. Dude! I've got this killer hard on and she wants to stop. Says it's wrong and she can't do that to her daughter.
Man 1: Then what? You said you fucked her, so I guess she changed her mind?
Man 2: Yeah, I told her that I'd never tell Karen and that it was our little secret. Then she gave me a blow job that almost made me nut in her mouth. Then we fucked right there on the couch. I swear, older women are hot man. Kutcher knew what he was doing when he got with Demi Moore.
At that point, I had to leave. I was completely and utterly flabbergasted and distugested that this woman seduced her daughter's boyfriend. What kind of mother does that? The kid couldn't have been more than 20, but he was old enough to know better and she was certainly old enough to know you don't screw your daughter's man. I wouldn't even date someone a friend dated much less wanna screw my daughter's boyfriend. EWW!
We live in a strange and depraved world people. Are women that hard up for attention that they'd screw their daughter's boyfriend? It's pretty sad that her self-esteem was apparently that low to even want to do something like that. I'm still stuck on the fact that she screwed her daugher's bf! That's just nasty any which way you slice it. There are plenty of men in her age bracket and higher that she could have screwed. This is a shameless and morally corrupt woman and her behavior is dispicable.
Is it just me or was this woman wrong in any number of ways?