28 August 2006

Monday madness!!

After a rather relaxing and low key weekend, I figured I'd ride into Monday morning without incident and feel strained to find something to talk about. Well, lo and behold, someone managed to perform a skit from the Dumb Ass Duck Shit Chronicles and send me into a tail spin. Story goes as follows...

I stopped at the local WaWa to grab a cup of coffee (they have great coffee) before I got to work. I'm standing at the coffee bar creating an exotic mix of various coffees, when two apparently acquainted men strike up a conversation.

Man 1: Hey dude! How was your weekend?

Man 2: It was great. A little risky, but man was it great. (He gave a cryptic laugh and grinned like the proverbial Cheshire cat) I fucked my girlfriends mom.

Man 1: Dude? For real dude?! You fucked Karen's mom? How the hell did that happen?

Man 2: I went to get Karen and she wasn't home. Her mom was in her robe when she answered the door. She said she thought I was her boyfriend. She told me to wait in the living room and that Karen had called to say she had to work a couple extra hours and couldn't call me as well as her mom cause they were really busy.

I looked at Man 1 with a thoroughly contemptuous look and walked away get a bottle of water and Man 1 and Man 2 started talking again. One would think they'd be a little quieter, but instead they became loud again. I guess they thought I couldn't hear them anymore. This is what I heard next...

Man 2: Karen's mom is fucking hot dude. I thinks she's always wanted me. (It was obvious Man 2 was really feeling his testosterone)

Man 1: How'd you know man? Talk quick cause I gotta run and don't wanna be late.

They get into a two man huddle I swear no more than two feet behind me as they look for thier respective energy drinks. I guess Man 2 was still feeling himself and Man 1 wanted in on the deal (lol). Anyhoo,

Man 2: So Sheryl, (Karen's mom) comes back down, still in her robe, but now it's kinda open. She's got long legs and nice tits. Not bad for a 45 year old man. (Man 1 chuckles) She starts talking all this shit about not feeling sexy and wanting to do something to make her feel young again.

Man 1: A real MILF huh? (he laughs)

Man 2: Yeah, she's even hotter than Stifler's mom dude. Her tits were juicy. I never thought I'd like 'em a big saggy, but dude they were yummy.

(I laugh at his juvenile description.)

Man 1: Then what?

Man 2: So, she keeps going on and on and then she sits next to me and starts asking me if I think she's attractive and sexy and shit like that. Of course I say yeah, cause she is and she's got her legs dangling outta her robe. I started to get this killer hard on.

Man 1: Dude spill it, I'm gonna be late.

(we're all now heading toward the door)

Man 2: Well, she keeps going on and on, then starts in on her boyrfriend being selfish in bed, then outta nowhere she starts kissing me.

(Man 1's eyes widened and I'm sitting in my SUV faking like I'm on the phone; windows down just so I can keep listening.)

Man 2: So, I start kissing her again and kept telling her how hot and sexy she is. Then she stops me and says we can't. Dude! I've got this killer hard on and she wants to stop. Says it's wrong and she can't do that to her daughter.

Man 1: Then what? You said you fucked her, so I guess she changed her mind?

Man 2: Yeah, I told her that I'd never tell Karen and that it was our little secret. Then she gave me a blow job that almost made me nut in her mouth. Then we fucked right there on the couch. I swear, older women are hot man. Kutcher knew what he was doing when he got with Demi Moore.

At that point, I had to leave. I was completely and utterly flabbergasted and distugested that this woman seduced her daughter's boyfriend. What kind of mother does that? The kid couldn't have been more than 20, but he was old enough to know better and she was certainly old enough to know you don't screw your daughter's man. I wouldn't even date someone a friend dated much less wanna screw my daughter's boyfriend. EWW!

We live in a strange and depraved world people. Are women that hard up for attention that they'd screw their daughter's boyfriend? It's pretty sad that her self-esteem was apparently that low to even want to do something like that. I'm still stuck on the fact that she screwed her daugher's bf! That's just nasty any which way you slice it. There are plenty of men in her age bracket and higher that she could have screwed. This is a shameless and morally corrupt woman and her behavior is dispicable.

Is it just me or was this woman wrong in any number of ways?


Susan Abraham said...

I think either this woman's self-esteem was very low that she needed to seek reassurance on her sexuality, that she's been terribly lonely or otherwise, she was probably just highly-sexed and without too much of a conscience.
She could have known what she was doing.

If he wasn't more than 20, then he was probably blown out of his mind and just couldn't believe what he was getting into. And at the same time, not srong enough to pull back.


I was 21 when I met a friend of my mother's who was 41. Needless to say, it was the best sexual Summer of my life -- she taught me so much, so I can understand being attracted to an older woman. However, she was wrong for having sex with her daughter's BF. The same situation happened to my lil brother, guess her mom did it in order to know she still had it...

Hawa Bond said...

Dang. My first thought was, "This mom doesn't like the boyfriend for her daughter, and seduced him to set him up."

Face it, he's a jerk enough to publicize the trist in a Wawa - no secret he's crappy boyfriend material. That break-up is gonna be like a nuclear warhead! LOL

JC said...

Back in the day I might have said this was cool cause there was a lady where I used to live who would try to get with the boys. Her line was that she was "teaching" us how to be good lovers. I think she was just looking to get her stuff off. A couple of my boys got with her and I'll admit I did think about it until I found a fast girl with my own age group to "break me in".

Now that I'm older and have son, I think this is nasty and I wouldn't want my son doing somethign like that to learn. Aside from that, what home girl did back then was molestation and pedophila.

I hope the woman's daughter finds out and blacks out on her mother AND the bf. That's just ill and the mother is real foul. As for dude, he has no class anyway for putting his business out in public like that. Too bad someone the girl knew didn't hear it.

BlaqRayne said...

Talk about issues. I'm not knocking a woman who wants a younger man. I'm not into that sort of thing, but I do respect the fact that there are different strokes for different folks. But there is NO WAY, I repeat NO WAY that I can be understanding of Sheryl's behavior. (Sidebar: I like how you didn't protect the guilty...lol).

I'm with you on this, I can't see being with the ex of any of my friends, let alone the current or even the ex of a daughter, sister, mother, cousin, etc. I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that's just wrong. This is some ish straight out of The Bold & The Beautiful.

I hope they receive a consolation prize in nine months.

BluJewel said...

The comments thus far have been varied and interesting.

The ladies seem to agree this is foul. The men have different opinions, though JC seems to err on the side of the ladies.

Either way, I'm sure this all wreaks terribly of a soap opera or Jerry Springer episode.

Agree with Rayne, Sheryl might be in for a surprise if she hasn't gone through the change yet. YOWZERS!

BlaqRayne said...

Then, if they kept it on the low and he married the daughter, that would make him BrotherDaddy...lol. I don't know which is worse, that or Uncle Daddy....lol. I'm just being silly now.

Atyllah said...

I think sleeping with the BF sucks. Totally. But, I can also understand older women wanting to be with younger men and vice versa - each is looking for something the other can provide.
We live in a world where "youth reigns" - we all strive to be younger, look younger, act younger. Trouble is, all the youth seeking is misplaced and we forget basic lessons in values and ethics - we certainly seem to lose our wisdom. You do not screw your daughter's BF - unless you want to lose your daughter. You do not screw your GFs mother unless you want to lose your GF. Frankly, I think the daughter/GF would do well without either her mother or her BF

So...Wise...Sista said...

Of course that ish is foul. Foul no matter who the gf is...but to do your daughter's man is a mess. Issues, issues, issues. As for the kid, well he repeated why he did it...he had a killer hard-on. What was he supposed to do, show restraint and decency? lol
There's a couple recent books about this exact thing..."My Daughter's Boyfriend" and "Not With My Son."

Missedmanners said...

Hah! If only I could count how many times I WISHED this had happened to me....

Anyway, of course it was wrong on both of their parts, the right/wrongness of infidelity is really hard to argue against.

What I find funny is that people seem to be coming down on this older lady for bagging a young dude. With society regularly accepting and even awarding older men who bag younger women, you'd think we'd smile at the reversal.

I know I did.

XSTATICX said...

I would have done the same thing as that guy, except with the mom and the daughter at the same time.