22 September 2008

Arms of Love

I had no idea what I wanted to blog about today until I read my Daily Bread and today’s reading said, Arms of Love and this was the corresponding scripture; Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. —1 John 3:18

It made me reflect on how I recently felt about someone and how he completely shat on my feelings and to date has given no explanation for his treatment and actions. Refer to What Freedom Feels Like for backstory.

I recall the many times I used to say to him that the word and deed go hand in hand or that words without action are just words. Naturally, he argued thinking that because it was said, so it shall be; I remained firm, and now I’m simply withdrawn.

I’m the kind of woman who loves hard. I don’t invest casually into any man and I refuse to allow myself to be caught up by the pretty words because they sound sweet and nice. Just because the melody is good; doesn't mean I'm going to like the song. I know through experience that words hurt too and can be equally damaging as physical pain. In the case of he whom I’ll here on out refer to as, Mr. Ublewit, he can’t say he wasn’t warned. He knew from the very beginning what kind of woman I was, what I was about, and what I could and would tolerate. The lack of communication, mutual respect, and reciprocity in word/deed are deal breakers for me. For over a year, I wrestled with my feelings and just when I finally came to that place of letting go; he let me down. He disappeared for slightly over a month and then returned as if what he did was the most normal thing for him to do.

Although, I never fell completely in love with him, I felt a love for him; one which was expressed in both word and deed. It was something that took a lot for me to finally accept and acknowledge and something that in spite of myself I shared with him. I again, reflect on the scripture and realize that the Word is so powerful and so true. As much as I was angered, hurt, and disappointed by what Mr. Ublewit did, I realize, I lived the scripture and won’t fault myself for how/what I felt because at least I know I’m capable for feeling and loving. Mr. Ublewit has yet to recognize and realize that love is not some four-letter word you can toss around profanely and think it’s going to have worth or merit; especially when it’s not performed in deed or truth. The sum of who I see him as now is reduced to him being a bullshitter and unfortunately, not a very good one because his ego seems to precede his sensibility at this point.

I’ve since moved on from Mr. Ublewit and am seeing someone who expresses himself in word and deed. No, it’s not all perfect and I don’t expect it to be, but at least I know that he’s willing to put forth the effort to appreciate the love; at whatever stage and not take it for granted. He shows his affection and invests in me accordingly; from noticing that he hasn’t heard from me and calls me at work and leaves a voice message; to then follow up by calling me on my cell or at home. He’s made me think he’s not coming to see me and then show up at my front door. He’ll buy my favorite drink (D&G Ginger Beer…a Jamaican soda) and/or snack (bun & cheese; another Jamaican thing), which shows he pays attention to my likes and wants. He doesn’t have to say “I love you” to show me that has love for me; it’s the little things that carry enormous weight. In addition, he’s acting in deed and truth. I give him in both word and deed my affections and intentions so he never has to doubt me in anyway. I allow myself to be a little vulnerable at times and let him nuture the little girl inside of me who simply wants to be loved. I seek the little boy in him that wants the same...it's love in deed and truth; no pretense; not half-stepping and no bullshit.

I apply this same love to those I care about. My friends and family know that they can and will get a random txt, card, or call from me that simply says, “I love you”, “I’m thinking about you”, or whatever sentiment deemed appropriate at the time. Love is something that can and should be manifested in all we do all the time. More effort needs to be placed in loving each other as humans and not pets or material things. Now, don’t get me wrong, loving animals is a wonderful thing, but we all know that some people take it a little too far. *lol*.

I digress…Love is something we all need and we all need to share in order to receive. Love is not something to be squandered, ill-applied for personal gain, or to be used as a tool/weapon. Love is something we all want and desire and we must plant the seed in order to reap the reward of it. The scripture says it all. Reflect on it and utilize it to its fullest.

When you see someone in need,
Love demands a loving deed;
Don’t just say you love him true,
Prove it by the deeds you do
. —Sper



karrie b. said...

i think all of us can take something from this post. the last guy i loved, i didnt love fully. i loved him with 1 foot on the ground. the next guy is gonna get it good though.


Mr.Slish said...

I have nothing profound to say...I am happy for you and I'm glad you're in a good place....

Now is who give yuh permission to find MAN!!!!

Queen said...

Yes, its the little things that speak volumes!
My fav candy is twizzlers..Damn, what a chick gotta do to get that! lol

Blu Jewel said...

@karrie b - girl, i've done that too and that's how i learned. sometimes you gotta take chances and other times you cut your losses and move on. your next love is gonna be spectacular

@slish - yes, i'm in a good place right now. At least di man mi find is a Yard man. *wink*

@queen - thanks for stopping by. you gotta find a man who's willing to buy them for you. in the mean time, buy them for yourself, tease a brutha while you're eating them, and i bet you'll have no trouble getting them bought for you. *giggle*


LadyLee said...

Great post. Very well said, Blu.

Word and deed do go hand in hand, that's for sure. One thing to tell me, but you have to show me too.

Glad you didn't settle for Mr. Ulbewit. Really glad.

Keith said...

Word and deed always go hand in hand...and you're right.it's the attention to detail that always counts..It shows that the person is paying attention to all of you.
The little things.

Mizrepresent said...

I loved this blu...i want this soooooo much! And girl i am so happy for you sis! So happy!

Anonymous said...

You know im happy and elated for you girl....always

Blu Jewel said...

@ladylee - I'm glad I didn't settle either; he's certainly not man enough for me.

@keith - it's always the little things and attention to detail that will always count with me.

@miz - gurrrl! this feels so good right now and I'm making the most of it all. You know you're gonna have this and more.

@yazmar - thanks girlie; it means a lot.


Don said...

Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

When it comes down to the come down, this speaks volumes. Words and no actions, actions and no words...there has to be that balance, doesn't it. There has to be. Or it causes one or the other to become emotionally-deprived, which leads to other things.

Blu, you already know it's good to see you playing in the sunshine again. Wipe all that sun into your face, you deserve it.

Darius T. Williams said...

You're preching here! This is such the truth!

T.C. said...

words without action mean NOTHING! that's the bottom line in the entire situation...

nikki said...

u always tell the truth, which is what i love most about your blog and YOU. fa sho, it's all about deed. i say that time and time again and have to remind myself when i want to get caught up in what he's saying.

glad you found your yard man. :)

Blu Jewel said...

@don - i like that, "when it comes to the come down" anyhoo...yes, you're so right about the balance. my fave line of late is, "I can show you better than I can tell you" because me saying it doesn't equate to me doing it. so, again, it's the word+the deed. the sun is feeling real good right now. thanks for the encouragement.

@darius - Amen!

@t.c - no doubt my sis; no doubt. too many to see it though, that's why we gotta be dilligent and make it so.

@nikki - aww shucks! *blush* i feel you on getting caught up; especially when he's looking all good...my bad, i digress...lol. If he can't prove it, it's just talk and my ears are too sensitive for the bullshit. Yes, the yard man is a lovely thing *big grin*


deonte' k said...

Great post. :)....everything you said in this post was so true and I too love hard. im happy for you and wish you the best. ;-)

Hawa Bond said...

When I was still young and stupid (hehe), I often heard:

1. Love is a verb.
2. Love is an action.

I didn't fully understand, because in the Puppy Love days, love was the nervous squishy feeling you got in your stomach - and I knew that you shouldn't mistreat your Puppy Love.

But love doesn't end at what you don't do (e.g. cheat, abuse). Love is a verb because of what you do do.

Okay, I'm rambling. I think it's time for lunch.

Hawa, author of
Fackin Truth Blog (Personal Blog)
Cleanse Master Remix (Health Blog)

Believer 1964 said...

Looks like Mr. Ublewit was the teaser for the "real deal." Holla!