03 September 2008

all the hoopla!

Okay, so I'm sure many of you have heard about the transexual who's competing on America's Next Top Model. If you haven't, check out the story Top Model Twist.

So, let me just come out and ask the question, do you have a problem with people who aren't of the same sexual orientation or gender identity as you? Please think before answering and most importantly be honest. That being said, let me continue...

I have never had an issue with people of other races, genders, sexual orientation/preference/or identity. Why? Because I never had a reason to. As far as I'm concerned, we're all our respective people; good and bad, so we must live and let live. My liberal viewpoint stems from where and how I was raised and it has been with me ever since.

Growing up in London, I truly felt like I was in a melting pot. I had friends of all races and we shared our cultures with each other. I knew of gays/lesbians and while I didn't understand the true dynamic of it, I wasn't offended by them. I did know a drag queen by way of a friend and I was rather fascinated by how well he looked as a woman. It wasn't until I moved to the U.S that I started to see and understand the full spectrum of sexual orientation in its many forms.

I became aware of how people were negatively treated and affected by their sexuality and made to feel ashamed of who they were. While there are those who I feel have 'chosen' to be gay (male or female), I truly believe that most gays were born that way. I doubt highly they woke up one morning and said, "chile, i think imma start sexin men cause it's good look". Face it, it's like a white person waking up and deciding to be black. Why would they put themselves through that level of persecution and torment? They wouldn't.

Anyhoo, I digress...I happen to have an extremely close and dear friend who is a male-to-female transsexual. She's one of the most admirable people I know because she chose to be true to herself and be the person she always felt she was. Ironically, my friend was once married; in the military (a pilot to boot); and has a child, but still always knew that something wasn't right within herself. Naturally, we had a lengthy discussion about hiding her true sexual feelings and identity and she told me that society refuses to accept that there are deviations in ones DNA or predispostion to all things sexual. She grew up in the mid 30's so coming out was very difficult much less telling your family that you'd rather be the opposing gender. Fortunately, my friend had a supportive wife while he was married who afforded a divorce and allowed my friend to pursue her life as a woman; they remain very good friends to this day and their daughter is well adjusted, very smart, and currently pursuing her Ph.D.

I've said all this to say, that yes, for the most part we all digress to The Bible for guidance and in many ways to demean and offend those who don't quite fit in to mainstream society. I think we should in many ways leave religion and/or religious doctrines out of this discussion. I truly do think that sexual orientation/identity is something that we're born with and for many it's something that is not like the majority. I know I'm going to probably raise all kind of moral backlash for my thoughts, but ask me if I care; this is MY house and I can say what I want and think.

Again, I digress...I have friends of all races, religions, and sexual preference and I accept them for whom they are. I do not think disallowing a transsexual or transgendered person to participate in a contest is fair. We need to see beyond what's considered socially acceptable and simply learn tolerance. No, you don't have to like it, but you should at least accept and respect the person. Ms. James who sits two offices from yours could be a call girl by night even though she rocks her Jones New York to the office by day. Mr. Smith could be wearing women's underwear to work under his Brooks Brother's suit. My point is that we don't know what the inner workings of anyone's psyche is and we can't jump on our moral pedastals because someone doesn't prescribe to the same makeup as us.

Not one of us is perfect or exempt from saying anything, doing anything, or dressing in a way that deviates from what's considered acceptable. We've got men screwing men on the down low, priests molesting little boys, pedophiles in the neighborhood and we're worring about a transsexual; gimme a gotdamn break. I've got tattooes, had a child out of wedlock, am black, have dated out of my race, yada, yada; so does that make me disposable because I've allegedly violated some societal rule? I think not, so I think it's enough with the trash talk over a transsexual potential model. There was an openly lesbian model competing some time ago and I don't think it raised too much hoopla, so neither should this. Personally, I think the haters are just mad cause she actually is rather attractive. I also think the men are mad cause they might find themselves caught out there is they ran up on her.

Okay, I'm done people!



Terry said...

Well, when you've been exposed to other cultures and see how they see the world, you find out that by nature Americans are a little up tight.

Having said that however, I don't care who you are or what you do. Just make sure that you know the ground rules when it comes to dealing with me.

karrie b. said...

wow...this post is LOADED. i have nothing profound to say as of right now but i swallowed this post and i'm still digesting.

love ya girlie.


Eb the Celeb said...

This was a great post and I have struggled with this a lot

I like the fact that Isis is on the show... and after watching last night I love the fact at how confidant and sure of him/herself that she is... Though others may have looked down on her she stood her ground...

I have no problem at all with gay people but I do have problems with flamboyant gay people.... you dont see black people running around all the time overexaggerating the fact that their black.

That is the problem I have... I have a couple gay friends, you can tell that they are gay, but they arent acting like the life of the party when we are sitting down and having lunch... and that's what I seem to see a lot of and that is the part that I tend to look down on.

Darius T. Williams said...

Um, nah - I don't have a problem. Hell, I'm one of those people that folks usually turn their nose up, especially females. Females are usually feeling on me - but when they find out I'm a fruit, it's all down hill from there - lol.

MysTery said...

Man what a post!

I understand what you are saying.

However I have a problem with it. that's just me. I have gays friends and such. But I still struggle with that alot cause to me it ain't right. Just my opinion. Only God can truly judge.

Thanks for sharing! God bless!

But you definately put something on my mind.

Don said...

I don't really have a problem. I tend to treat people based on their shown character towards me, and nothing more. It's hard enough simply trying to live in this world.

Blu Jewel said...

@terry - you're right, Americans do tend to be a little uptight, which i find ironic given how much sex is promoted in just about everything. agreed, that people should put their 'differences' out there to allow people to have an informed decision.

@karrie.b - WHAT? YOU? SPEECHLESS? well slap me down with a feather! i must have done/said something hella good to have you speechless...wow...i'm flattered!!

@eb - funny, i can agree with the excessiveness of some gay people. okay, so you're gay, but taking it to the next level isn't really necessary. i've heard it said that those who act that way are the ones who've struggled so hard with it, so now they're out, they're going to make themselves known.

@darius - i'm so happy you read this because i thought about you when i was writing this. i think it's odd that women shy AWAT from you once they find out you're gay because a lot of women flock to gay men. hmm? velly intlalesting! i'd chill with you any day; you can cook and i like to eat...lol!

@mystery - i understand and respect your feelings on this. homosexuality isn't something that everyone can accept or understand, but at least you're not condeming or judging.

@don - that's big righ there. it's better to judge someone on the content of their character.


LadyLee said...

Interesting post, Blu Jewel. And I found a bible verse a few years ago in my Message bible that stopped me cold: After a mad dash at gays, Romans 2:1-2 (message) said: "Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done."

That which is in bold above is one of the main reasons that I feel that I have NO right to look down at anybody,let alone transgender or gay people. I find that when I do, well, I hate to admit it, I am trying to take my mind off my own issues. I'm trying to escape some ish that I don't want to deal with by picking on someone different from me. THAT AIN'T HAPPENING.

And I will have issues and a need to grow in many areas until the day I die. We are all under construction. When I become perfect, I can judge peeps. And uh, perfection is never attained.

Thought I would mention that. Your post brought that to mind.

More importantly, I knew what it was like to have "2 uncles", i.e., an uncle who was gay and had a special friend. Even lived with them when i was young. (I remember when I was 3 or 4 that their bedroom was off limits). They lived in the back room of my great grandmother's house. Their room had no door, and was separated from the dining room by a very pretty flower curtain. My great grandmother and grandmother were VERY religious, stauch baptist and methodist... But I learned one thing from them: I had no right to disrespect my uncle and his man. NONE. I couldn't give one a gift without giving the other one the same gift and I wrapped them perfectly the same. It was deeply important to the family to make them feel loved and accepted. And I think I woulda got a SERIOUS whipping if I did otherwise. I am happy for that experience. It helped me, from a young age, to see, I don't have to agree with you, but doggonit, I have NO right to disrespect you or your choices or needs. NONE

Alright, I have blogged enough in your comment section. (Shouldn't do that as a first time commenter).

Like your spot... I will be BACK.

Blu Jewel said...

@ladylee - it's all good luvie. i like when people take the time to convey their thoughts and enjoy reading lengthy comments because it means i've posted something worth discussing. when i saw that you had a scripture reference, i immediately cringed thinking that i was about to get blasted. I was prepared for it because i know how controversial is; however, i was pleased when you pointed out something that so many forget to reference when they're busy passing judgement. thank you so much for that.

it's good to hear that you were raised by strong religious women who still took the time to teach acceptance and respect of others to you. yes, you had a valuable life experience and it sounds like it taught you some wonderful life skills.


chele said...

I find it interesting that the article says it's a "historic moment". Really? I don't think it's that serious. Honestly, I think Tyra is exploiting this woman for ratings.

I agree with Terry. I don't care who you are or what you do, just don't come at me the wrong way.

Shai said...

I would have a problem if someone I have known a long time says call him a she instead of a he. Sex change or not to me you are still what you were born, that's just nature. It is my opinion and I know many don't agree.

T.C. said...

i think its their choice and you have to respect their choices...its like if someone decided to change their name, or anything else about them, its their choice because its their lives...

you have to be true to yourself and ONLY GOD can judge what anyone does...

Shai said...

@TC: that sounds good in theory. However, can you say that if your father came to you said he was changing his sex and to call him something other than father, daddy, etc. you would be fine with it?

Mizrepresent said...

I don't have a problem with people being who they are and loving who they want to love. Great post Blu!

Blu Jewel said...

@chele - i must admit that it does sound like Tyra could be exploiting the woman, but i'm sure Isis knew there was the potential for that when she signed up. So, if's she's as secure in herself as she's presenting herself to be, then i'm sure she's able to handle all that's going to come with what she's doing.

@shai - to some degree you're right, but while you may not agree with it; respecting it is still necessary.

@t.c - your viewpoint is one of acceptance and tolerance and one that those who fall into the "other" category would fully appreciate.

@miz - amen!