08 November 2006

Effective Speach

There is infinitely more to be gained through cooperation than through confrontation. -- Ralph Marston

As I digest upon those words, I recall the many times I’ve blacked out due to something not going my way or by the lack of customer service by a so-called customer service rep. It is in fact out of character for me to act that way, as I truly dislike confrontation and discord. Fortunately for me, I’ve grown enough to know how to properly articulate my thoughts combined with the right choice of words to effectively, yet politely tell someone off. I find myself amused by how powerful doing that is. I’m not looked at like some raving loon who has nothing better to do than to draw unnecessary attention to herself, I’m looked at with respect and sensibility. Whatever that person is really thinking inside is anyone’s guess, but knowing that I’ve proved or made my point without embarrassing myself serves me well. I’ve been told you get more with sugar than salt anyway.

Almost a year ago, I had an incident with a car dealership where I was misled and given a vehicle that was not what I wanted. I promptly made my dissatisfaction with the salesperson known and referred to the “powers that be” from that point on to rectify the situation. After being the run around, I used my effective speaking and writing abilities to report my growing disdain with the situation and requested a prompt resolution. Their attempts of pacifying me were futile because their words and actions were not in compliance with how they claim they do business. I continued to report my growing frustration via phone and email hoping to resolve the matter. Again, things did not go as they said, so I did what I’m good at. I showed up, put on my game face and in less that 500 words told them what they could do for me and how. Within a week I had what I was supposed to get and then some. Naturally, I was met with some resistance; however, they could not break me. I continued on my mission until fully satisfied and won the battle and the war. Just as the power of the pen is mightier than the sword, so is the power of a sugared tongue tainted with salt. (I just made that up…lol)

Seriously though, think about the negative situations you’re in and then think of how you can get what you want out of it without blowing your top. You’ll find yourself successful in making your point and commanding the respect you probably deserved in the first place. Also, check out Can We Just Calm Down for a poetic take on the subject.


jc said...

wow, that's two in a row for you with these quotes and stuff. I've always had a short fuse, but I had to put it in check when I had my son. I still have times when I forget myself and go the fuck off. I'm just glad I've never done it in front of my son. After reading this, I see that there's more I can do to stay right. Thanks for the insight Blu.

jus.b.fli said...

ha??! quotes at the beginning of the post?? you bitin' my style?? LMBAO... that coming from someone who is ADMITTEDLY a biter, huh??

seriously... you know what? this post ain't nuthin' but the truth. on the flip-side, i've also found that lots of times when you don't get noticably upset and tell people to go fuck themselves in a calm manner, THEY tend to get upset because you're NOT yelling and screaming. now THAT'S funny! (LOL)

another thought provoking post, my dear!!

Peace and Huggs!

rastaman said...

so is the power of a sugared tongue tainted with salt.

Now, that's some funny shit Blu!!

Seabrook Slimm said...

To piggyback on jc:

I have a father from the south who would regularly check ANYONE, ANYTIME, and ANYPLACE, if dissatisfied with some service. As a young boy, I was quite embarassed, numerous times, but noticed the quick results that an angry black man can yield with a short temper. pops had a salty-ass tongue back in the day.

thanks for the shout to my niece

blaqrayne said...

This is definitely a good one. I normally handle situations in the manner, which you described her but today I had to give it RAW. Maybe I should have read this first. Good Post!

Susan Abraham said...

What an inspiring post, Blu and a terrific testimony to go with it.
Yes, it is an art to learn how to manage situations and people.

There is often a misled tendency to think that an anger outburst is the commonplace notion of a fishwife. (eg someone who makes a scene in the marketplace.) Sometimes, it really is important to release emotions but I guess how and where you do it, is all-important.


Anonymous said...

Impressive quote girl! I'd like to think that when I go postal, it's all because of my red hair and Irish descent.... *wink*