22 April 2008

a blast from the past

I was sorting through some old files and came across this poem. Upon reading it, I immediately recalled why I wrote it and this being Sexual Assault Awareness Month; thought it appropriate to share it. It wrote it at a time in my life when I was trying to deal with everything that had happened to me. Looking back on it now, I'm impressed and amazed with myself for having overcome and for the woman I am today.

I am but a ghost that lives a human existence
I am a fleshed being with no substance
I am eyes with no face
I am all and yet nothing.

In this fragile life I live
I ease my way though
Without disturbing the peace
Suffering the pain
Of trials I am not guilty of.

Who is it that sentences me
To such cruel states of indignation
Those of you who allow yourselves
To be the victor of the day
And worse of all
Me for allowing it to take place.

To you I shall cast no stones
I shall carry no malice
For in your time of judgement
You have only yourself to blame.

Blu Jewel 3-23-93



Don said...

nice poem, blu. although i can imagine everything it means to you.

Looking back on it now, I'm impressed and amazed with myself for having overcome and for the woman I am today. when you wrote it, did you ever think that you would be able to say that?

i too think i will reflect and speak the same truth. one day i will. God willing.

Darius T. Williams said...

Wow - I only have myself to blame. How true! I would love to see you perform this!

Blu Jewel said...

Don - when I wrote that, I had no idea I'd ever make it this far or ever overcome that madness as it had consumed me for so long. It's great to be able to post something like this and not cry, but instead smile because I'm HERE! Whatever your truth is, I'm sure you'll speak it in due time.

Darius - This is the FIRST time anyone has ever seen it much less me performing it. I participate in a flow session and I'll consider performing this piece.


Xavier Pierre Jr. said...

Oh my dear sister, you know I'm feeling this one... [BIG HUG] We are free!!! :-)

Peace and Love,

Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)

Rosemarie said...

Beautiful! Let our hearts cry out that we are free, and whole!

You’ve been tagged.

Wendy said...

Isn't wonderful to look back on certain times in our lives and say I made it? Not only that but I am stronger. I feel this one Blu.

Dag I tagged you too! LOL

Blu Jewel said...

Zay - Yes, indeed we are and what a blessing it is.

Rose - Amen to that. Being WHOLE is an amazing thing.

Wendy - Thanks and I completely agree. Doubly tagged; I must be popular! *lol*


ShAé - ShAé said...

I second Wendy's comment. Sometimes when we come through the hard times we think "Wow, I made it!" :-)

Don said...

@ blu jewel: happy that you are THERE. your ability to overcome a defeated mentality speaks volumes.

karrie b. said...

nice. i bet u felt much better after writing this...we're all proud of the woman u are today.


Rich said...

I'm seeing Ms. Celie in the back of the car telling Mister she ain't taking it no more. "I may be black, even ugly, but I'm here. By God I'm here."

We are all blessed who have HIM in our lives.

Mizrepresent said...

Blu, isn't it funny how we feel so unappreciated and scorned, and learn that in loving ourselves above all, that feeling is a myth. Others will never appreciate us, the way we should be appreciated. To put these feelings down on paper is a testament to your will and your manifestation.

Blu Jewel said...

shae - Thanks for stopping by and for supporting the positive comments.

Don - the ability to overcome is the best trophy I never had.

karrie - i wrote this poem 15 years ago, but it was nice to post it as a "before" and "after" experience.

Rich - wow! that's a great comparison, but oh a true one. Having Him is the ultimate in gifts.

Miz - Amen! You spoke the absolute truth.


Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

That was deep! I could literally feel the pain in this person's words....I'll have to let a few of the kids I work with you can relate to this piece read this...unfortunately a blast from the past is still relevent today! .

Ms. Confessions said...

very nice :)