08 April 2008

Open Letter #2

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month and it's important for each of us to play our part in helping those affected by this awful act inflicted upon so many.

This story is true, but has been embelished a little to protect the guilty and not so guilty. It sheds like on how easily people set themselves up or get set up for failure.

She says she loves you and you’re the best thing that has ever happened to her. She says you love her and you treat her well, but I’m unfazed by your six-figured salary, your Italian custom-made suit, the gated community you reside in and your high-priced car. I don’t care that you have flawless credit, the sexiness in your swagger, or the luminousness of your smile. None of that means a thing when you don’t know how to treat the woman you’re with and your reward to her is slapping her around for the slightest infraction of the rules you’ve laid down. She can swear up and down it was a one time deal; until the next time she’s bruised and hiding behind MAC makeup. I could care less that you can afford to fly her to Paradise Island on a whim and shower her with jewels to make it “better” and profess your love behind a sinister smile.

Personally, I think she’d be better off with someone who had less than the material things that made you that much more impressive to her than Average Joe. She’s a good woman though I’m starting to lose sight of the girl I once knew who loved to go out with her girls, get her hair/nails done, and sip martinis over girl talk. Now all I see is the shell of who she was; extra heavy make up and hear the plethora of reasons why she can’t hang out or talk on the phone; well unless she’s at work.

Friends and family of home girl, please find a way to intercede. I’ve tried talking to her and I know she hears me, but she won’t listen. She makes excuses for him and says it’s not so bad. She says it’s better than being with Average Joe and tries to convince me that he treats her well because he showers her with anything she wants. I challenge that by asking if he fulfills her needs. That’s an answer I never get. I recall the miscarriage after her got her drunk at a party and raped her because she told him she wasn’t feeling well as a result of the alcohol. Now she can’t have children because he took his time getting her to the doctor.

Mom, you should be ashamed of yourself because you have an inkling of what’s going on and you won’t do anything about it. You’re reaping the fruits of her beatings when he pays your bills and sends you on vacations. Is this the life you want for your baby girl? Are you so blinded by the benjamins that you can no longer see your child? Average Joe may not have been able to pay more than his share of the bills, or didn’t live in a gated community, but he sure as hell treated your daughter well. He gave her his love; real love, he respected her, and treated her as he equal; not his dog or servant. The sad thing is you’d be the first one protesting for his conviction if he ever enforced a fatal blow.

Dad, where were you when you’re daughter needed you while she was growing up? How come you’d rather spend your time and energy with your new family instead of excluding your daughter from it? Where were you when she needed those father-daughter talks? Sending a check every other week wasn’t enough; she needed you. She needed your guidance, your love, and your discipline. She needed that male figure that was supposed to have given her some insight as to what men could be like. You failed her miserably and then embraced Mr. Six-Figures when you met him purely by chance saying that at least someone else was taking care of her now. What? What kind of bullshit is that? You’re a silent contributor to her plight and you make me sick.

Mister Six-Figures that’s all you are. You’re a farce and a poor excuse for a man. A real man wouldn’t need to beat his woman, force her into sex, which is called rape by the way; nor would he isolate her from her friends/family. I’m not sure what happened to you along the way to make you the person you’ve become, but I’m here to say, you need help. There’ll only be so many times that you can abuse her before she finally snaps or you kill her. You need help and you need it now. I’ll continue to keep you both in prayer because Lord know it’s what you both really need.



dessex said...

great post. I loved it. "You’re a silent contributor to her plight and you make me sick" beautiful.

Xavier Pierre Jr. said...

This made me so angry, but thank you for helping spread the word.

Peace and Love,

Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)

PS: April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). I am PASSIONATE about this issue and I’m determined to do my part to help educate as many people as possible. Please join me in spreading the word. Sexual violence must stop!

Don said...

Blu, you came back with a gem. Love this post. You know it's a good post when it can be turned into a novel. Pretty good stuff.

I don't know if there's anything that can be added here, except to say that maybe the man needs to understand how to gain the world will usually lead to him losing his soul. And the woman needs to learn how their is a price to sometimes be paid for a certain kind of man. There is a flip side to power.

But neither will really know it, unless they are made aware through, amongst other things, compelling stories like these.

Wasn't expecting to come and read this. This post woke me up. Thanks for sharing, "stranger." lol.

Blu Jewel said...

dessex - thanks for the cherry pop visit *lol*. hope you come back again

Zay - thanks for the correction. this topic is equally sensitive to me as you well know. i'm doing my best to play my part in ending this epidemic.

Don - always a pleasure when you swing by; sorry I haven't given you a reason to do it sooner. Yes, this reads like a story, but it's actually in part very true. She's not the only girl I've known in situations like this. I just wish she valued herself enough to get out and seek more than material comforts from a man. As for him, he needs a come to Jesus meeting yesterday.


Xavier Pierre Jr. said...

Dearest sister, that was not a correction. Be it physical assualt, sexual battery, or even emotianal abuse, it all must end.

Peace and Love,

Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)