April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month and it's important for each of us to play our part in helping those affected by this awful act inflicted upon so many.
This story is true, but has been embelished a little to protect the guilty and not so guilty. It sheds like on how easily people set themselves up or get set up for failure.
She says she loves you and you’re the best thing that has ever happened to her. She says you love her and you treat her well, but I’m unfazed by your six-figured salary, your Italian custom-made suit, the gated community you reside in and your high-priced car. I don’t care that you have flawless credit, the sexiness in your swagger, or the luminousness of your smile. None of that means a thing when you don’t know how to treat the woman you’re with and your reward to her is slapping her around for the slightest infraction of the rules you’ve laid down. She can swear up and down it was a one time deal; until the next time she’s bruised and hiding behind MAC makeup. I could care less that you can afford to fly her to Paradise Island on a whim and shower her with jewels to make it “better” and profess your love behind a sinister smile.
Personally, I think she’d be better off with someone who had less than the material things that made you that much more impressive to her than Average Joe. She’s a good woman though I’m starting to lose sight of the girl I once knew who loved to go out with her girls, get her hair/nails done, and sip martinis over girl talk. Now all I see is the shell of who she was; extra heavy make up and hear the plethora of reasons why she can’t hang out or talk on the phone; well unless she’s at work.
Friends and family of home girl, please find a way to intercede. I’ve tried talking to her and I know she hears me, but she won’t listen. She makes excuses for him and says it’s not so bad. She says it’s better than being with Average Joe and tries to convince me that he treats her well because he showers her with anything she wants. I challenge that by asking if he fulfills her needs. That’s an answer I never get. I recall the miscarriage after her got her drunk at a party and raped her because she told him she wasn’t feeling well as a result of the alcohol. Now she can’t have children because he took his time getting her to the doctor.
Mom, you should be ashamed of yourself because you have an inkling of what’s going on and you won’t do anything about it. You’re reaping the fruits of her beatings when he pays your bills and sends you on vacations. Is this the life you want for your baby girl? Are you so blinded by the benjamins that you can no longer see your child? Average Joe may not have been able to pay more than his share of the bills, or didn’t live in a gated community, but he sure as hell treated your daughter well. He gave her his love; real love, he respected her, and treated her as he equal; not his dog or servant. The sad thing is you’d be the first one protesting for his conviction if he ever enforced a fatal blow.
Dad, where were you when you’re daughter needed you while she was growing up? How come you’d rather spend your time and energy with your new family instead of excluding your daughter from it? Where were you when she needed those father-daughter talks? Sending a check every other week wasn’t enough; she needed you. She needed your guidance, your love, and your discipline. She needed that male figure that was supposed to have given her some insight as to what men could be like. You failed her miserably and then embraced Mr. Six-Figures when you met him purely by chance saying that at least someone else was taking care of her now. What? What kind of bullshit is that? You’re a silent contributor to her plight and you make me sick.
Mister Six-Figures that’s all you are. You’re a farce and a poor excuse for a man. A real man wouldn’t need to beat his woman, force her into sex, which is called rape by the way; nor would he isolate her from her friends/family. I’m not sure what happened to you along the way to make you the person you’ve become, but I’m here to say, you need help. There’ll only be so many times that you can abuse her before she finally snaps or you kill her. You need help and you need it now. I’ll continue to keep you both in prayer because Lord know it’s what you both really need.
Love!
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
08 April 2008
21 March 2008
protecting our children
If I hear of one more child being abused, I’m going to commit homicide. Yes, I realize that’s quote a profound statement and one that I’m unlikely to execute, but I sure as hell would like to.
Recently, lil lady told me of a friend (we’ll call her Lisa) of hers who’d been abused by her uncle. Being the concerned parent that I am, I asked if there was anything I could do to help Lisa because it sounded like an intervention needed to happen. Lil lady told me that Lisa fears her cousin is also being abused, but she can’t prove it and fears that if she does tell, her aunt and cousin will suffer because the aunt doesn’t work. The uncle is the sole provider for the family. Lisa has exhibited behavior conducive to that of an abuse victim and is harboring a burden that is not fair and too heavy for her to carry.
I told lil lady that Lisa is welcome to come to the house anytime and that I’d be willing to listen to her and help her in any way I can. I understand Lisa’s trepidation, but it pisses me off to no end that her uncle continues to have that control over her. It’s said that he makes inappropriate comments to/about other girls in the family and his own child seems withdrawn and overly quiet. That in itself is a typical sign of an abused child.
I want to do something. I want to help Lisa relieve her burden and also help her aunt and cousin. They need the predator removed from their lives and he needs to be jailed and hopefully treated for his perversion. I’m sick and tired of our children being the victims of this type of crime and even worse the perp knowing that for the most part; he’ll get away with it. The long lasting and damaging effects of what Lisa has and continues to go through will haunt her unless she speaks up and speaks out. I was tempted to make a call to social services and inquire as to what could be done to help the family emotionally, psychologically, and financially, but opted out because I didn’t want to be pressed for information I 1) couldn’t give or 2) reveal information that seems like it’s not my place to give. Isn’t that a mofo though? You know what you’re doing is right, but in some ways you know it can do more harm? This is the dilemma that I don’t know how to handle.
As a parent, I could go to the end of the earth to seek justice for my child should she be an abuse victim. As a parent, I want to be an advocate for children in this position so they have a voice and know there’s someone out there that cares for them. Hell, even if I wasn’t a parent, I’d still feel the same way. I think it’s imperative that we find ways to help our children from being victims of incest, familial rape, and other forms of sexual abuse. This is a pervasive crime and crosses into all races and cultures. We all know directly or indirectly someone who’s been sexually assaulted or abused whether it occurred in their childhood or adulthood. The crime is a crime regardless of age, but the effects are so much more for a child to handle and grow up with.
As adults, it’s important for us to have productive roles in the lives of children; be they our own, siblings, nieces or nephews, godchildren, etc. Next month is Sexual Abuse Awareness month and I hope that each of us will do our part to serve and protect those in need. The child you see on the block, in the mall, or in a playground could be a victim, just as the man or woman right next to you could have or could be a victim. Equally, that man or woman could be a perpetrator. We must be proactive in whatever ways we can to prevent crimes like this from happening.
While, I still don’t know how I’m going to help Lisa, I’ve at least opened the door through lil lady and continue to pray for it to end one way or another.
Love!
Recently, lil lady told me of a friend (we’ll call her Lisa) of hers who’d been abused by her uncle. Being the concerned parent that I am, I asked if there was anything I could do to help Lisa because it sounded like an intervention needed to happen. Lil lady told me that Lisa fears her cousin is also being abused, but she can’t prove it and fears that if she does tell, her aunt and cousin will suffer because the aunt doesn’t work. The uncle is the sole provider for the family. Lisa has exhibited behavior conducive to that of an abuse victim and is harboring a burden that is not fair and too heavy for her to carry.
I told lil lady that Lisa is welcome to come to the house anytime and that I’d be willing to listen to her and help her in any way I can. I understand Lisa’s trepidation, but it pisses me off to no end that her uncle continues to have that control over her. It’s said that he makes inappropriate comments to/about other girls in the family and his own child seems withdrawn and overly quiet. That in itself is a typical sign of an abused child.
I want to do something. I want to help Lisa relieve her burden and also help her aunt and cousin. They need the predator removed from their lives and he needs to be jailed and hopefully treated for his perversion. I’m sick and tired of our children being the victims of this type of crime and even worse the perp knowing that for the most part; he’ll get away with it. The long lasting and damaging effects of what Lisa has and continues to go through will haunt her unless she speaks up and speaks out. I was tempted to make a call to social services and inquire as to what could be done to help the family emotionally, psychologically, and financially, but opted out because I didn’t want to be pressed for information I 1) couldn’t give or 2) reveal information that seems like it’s not my place to give. Isn’t that a mofo though? You know what you’re doing is right, but in some ways you know it can do more harm? This is the dilemma that I don’t know how to handle.
As a parent, I could go to the end of the earth to seek justice for my child should she be an abuse victim. As a parent, I want to be an advocate for children in this position so they have a voice and know there’s someone out there that cares for them. Hell, even if I wasn’t a parent, I’d still feel the same way. I think it’s imperative that we find ways to help our children from being victims of incest, familial rape, and other forms of sexual abuse. This is a pervasive crime and crosses into all races and cultures. We all know directly or indirectly someone who’s been sexually assaulted or abused whether it occurred in their childhood or adulthood. The crime is a crime regardless of age, but the effects are so much more for a child to handle and grow up with.
As adults, it’s important for us to have productive roles in the lives of children; be they our own, siblings, nieces or nephews, godchildren, etc. Next month is Sexual Abuse Awareness month and I hope that each of us will do our part to serve and protect those in need. The child you see on the block, in the mall, or in a playground could be a victim, just as the man or woman right next to you could have or could be a victim. Equally, that man or woman could be a perpetrator. We must be proactive in whatever ways we can to prevent crimes like this from happening.
While, I still don’t know how I’m going to help Lisa, I’ve at least opened the door through lil lady and continue to pray for it to end one way or another.
Love!
01 February 2007
CUSStomer Service
I recently received a bill that was intended for me, but was sent to my parents house in Fl. I haven’t lived with my parents in over 20 yrs and I’ve never used their mailing address for anything, so imagine my confusion when mother told me there was a bill for me there. Not only was it a bill, but a Final Notice bill from AOL’s collections dept. Considering I cancelled my service well over a year ago, imagine my shock at even receiving a bill, much less one in arrears. In addition, they hadn’t sent any previous correspondence to me.
I promptly called the number to inquire about the alleged charges and was told they didn’t know why the bill was sent to Fl, nor could they help me, but I should call another number and they could. I called the 2nd number and got nowhere fast; other than a pissy ass mood. (by now, I feel my blood boiling) I then called a 3rd number, more of the same ensued and I was even more pissed than before. (can you say, blood is curdling in my veins) I went on to call yet another number and by this time, someone was gonna get the wrath of me (and did). The moron (and that’s being polite) not only tells me that his supervisor is with someone else, he says my paying the bill will resolve the issue. WTF x infinitum!!!!!!! Pay a bill of which I’m DISPUTING? He couldn’t have been serious, so I ask him if he’s serious and the dumb ass says yes. My ordinarily low blood pressure just reached terminally high in less than 2 seconds and I insisted he find a way to aid in my resolution before I reach through the phone and choke him. He gives me a fax number to send the bill to with an explanation as to why I’m disputing it.
The very next day, (cause I was too freaking pissed to do it that night); I send the fax. Mind you, this is now going on two weeks and you’d think these effa’s would have made some contact right? WRONG!!!
And folk wonder why they get cussed out and businesses get reported to the Better Business Bureau (BBB). That’s my next course of action and it won’t be the first time I’ve done that.
I promptly called the number to inquire about the alleged charges and was told they didn’t know why the bill was sent to Fl, nor could they help me, but I should call another number and they could. I called the 2nd number and got nowhere fast; other than a pissy ass mood. (by now, I feel my blood boiling) I then called a 3rd number, more of the same ensued and I was even more pissed than before. (can you say, blood is curdling in my veins) I went on to call yet another number and by this time, someone was gonna get the wrath of me (and did). The moron (and that’s being polite) not only tells me that his supervisor is with someone else, he says my paying the bill will resolve the issue. WTF x infinitum!!!!!!! Pay a bill of which I’m DISPUTING? He couldn’t have been serious, so I ask him if he’s serious and the dumb ass says yes. My ordinarily low blood pressure just reached terminally high in less than 2 seconds and I insisted he find a way to aid in my resolution before I reach through the phone and choke him. He gives me a fax number to send the bill to with an explanation as to why I’m disputing it.
The very next day, (cause I was too freaking pissed to do it that night); I send the fax. Mind you, this is now going on two weeks and you’d think these effa’s would have made some contact right? WRONG!!!
And folk wonder why they get cussed out and businesses get reported to the Better Business Bureau (BBB). That’s my next course of action and it won’t be the first time I’ve done that.
09 January 2007
I see stupid people
A few things that go through my mind when I'm exposed to the mentally challenged...
What I wanna say to someone who was so on my nerves...
What I wanna say to people who insist on doing dumb shit in public because they honestly think they're funny...
What I wanna say to people who keep talking even when they're are making no damn sense...
or 
What I wanna say to people who insist on telling me shit when I'm not listening or even when I've said I really don't wanna know...
What I wanna say when someone has exhausted the very last second of my sanity...
What I wanna say to someone who was so on my nerves...
What I wanna say to people who insist on doing dumb shit in public because they honestly think they're funny...
What I wanna say to people who keep talking even when they're are making no damn sense...
or What I wanna say to people who insist on telling me shit when I'm not listening or even when I've said I really don't wanna know...
What I wanna say when someone has exhausted the very last second of my sanity...
08 January 2007
The Upside of Anger
Have you ever been pissed off or angry and not really known why? You scour your mind trying to recall who you’ve been in contact with, what you’ve eaten; read; or even watched on TV. Out of the plethora of things that could have pissed you off or made you angry, you still can’t seem to come up with that one thing that really has you twisted. That in itself makes you even more pissed off/angry. So, you sit in quiet reflection and then the proverbial lightening bolt hits you; you’re mad at yourself. You’re mad because there was something you should have done/said that you haven’t. You’re made because the much-needed item that was on sale is not in stock. You’re mad because someone let you down; hurt your feelings; lied; etc., but moreso because you know you had a role in it happening. You’re mad because you made excuses for whatever could have, should have, or would have occurred or not had you not allowed it. I think that’s the worst anger of all.
One of the many things I’ve chosen to correct in myself during this quarter is to not allow myself to succumb to this level of anger. There will be times where protocol dictates my restraint, but I will find a way to express my discord. There are many that say you shouldn’t do this or that because you might make a bad situation worse, or hurt someone’s feelings; what about my feelings? What about the lack of regard that person had toward me? Am I supposed to just suck it up and take it? Hmm? On a limited scale I’d say yes; however, overall my feelings count too. I am accountable for what I allow to happen, but there are situations beyond my control and it’s those that I will no longer allow the anger to consume me. I will diffuse what I’m able instead of imploding or exploding. I will embrace my anger instead of dismissing it because my embracing it allows me to heal adequately. Thus being the upside of anger. I will accept that my feelings are normal and healthy. The anger is very much a part of what makes me human and it should not be discarded. That would be like me being happy, but slapping someone instead of hugging them.
I think about some people I know who act out because they can’t or won’t display their real feelings or emotions. These people will hurt you, say mean things to you, and treat you inexcusably because they are afraid or unwilling to embrace their authentic being. This kind of behavior promotes the concept that misery likes company and I’m sorry, I ain’t that kinda gal. I like peace and contentment and while I know it’s not always a viable option, I’ll be damned if I allow another’s negativity to cause me harm or internal dysfunction. I, my friends have been gravely affected by said people and I refuse to allow it anymore.
Being angry is normal, allowable, and understandable at times. What it’s not is a weapon one uses to inflict harm to another or themselves because they’ve chosen no viable alternatives. In a world that is hell bent on the promotion of negativity, let’s look at the man/woman in the mirror and start to make a change. Yes, the Michael Jackson song, Man In The Mirror is playing in my head; and you have to admit, it’s pertinent.
Live; love; laugh; and learn.
One of the many things I’ve chosen to correct in myself during this quarter is to not allow myself to succumb to this level of anger. There will be times where protocol dictates my restraint, but I will find a way to express my discord. There are many that say you shouldn’t do this or that because you might make a bad situation worse, or hurt someone’s feelings; what about my feelings? What about the lack of regard that person had toward me? Am I supposed to just suck it up and take it? Hmm? On a limited scale I’d say yes; however, overall my feelings count too. I am accountable for what I allow to happen, but there are situations beyond my control and it’s those that I will no longer allow the anger to consume me. I will diffuse what I’m able instead of imploding or exploding. I will embrace my anger instead of dismissing it because my embracing it allows me to heal adequately. Thus being the upside of anger. I will accept that my feelings are normal and healthy. The anger is very much a part of what makes me human and it should not be discarded. That would be like me being happy, but slapping someone instead of hugging them.
I think about some people I know who act out because they can’t or won’t display their real feelings or emotions. These people will hurt you, say mean things to you, and treat you inexcusably because they are afraid or unwilling to embrace their authentic being. This kind of behavior promotes the concept that misery likes company and I’m sorry, I ain’t that kinda gal. I like peace and contentment and while I know it’s not always a viable option, I’ll be damned if I allow another’s negativity to cause me harm or internal dysfunction. I, my friends have been gravely affected by said people and I refuse to allow it anymore.
Being angry is normal, allowable, and understandable at times. What it’s not is a weapon one uses to inflict harm to another or themselves because they’ve chosen no viable alternatives. In a world that is hell bent on the promotion of negativity, let’s look at the man/woman in the mirror and start to make a change. Yes, the Michael Jackson song, Man In The Mirror is playing in my head; and you have to admit, it’s pertinent.
Live; love; laugh; and learn.
02 January 2007
From Legal to Illegal
Last week there was a story in my area about a baby boy found in a trash bag of a dumspter at a housing complex. I gasped and was sickened by the disturbing story and the heinous act performed by the misguided and selfish woman. There was limited details, but I later learned that the discarded baby was that of an 18 year old girl who'd concealed her pregnancy, delivered it alone, and then tossed it before anyone could find out. To make a bad story worse, the girl was the sister of someone I knew; though remotely. Considering the entire family is one huge bowl of dysfunction, I could only continue to shake my head and cuss openly about her flagrant disregard for life. Wait, one! Let me add that the stank ass-triflin-no good-selfish-cruel-inhumane-lame excuse for a flesh went to the mall after she'd given birth and trashed her newborn son. I see you all staring at the screen saying to yourselves, "did she really just say that?" Yes, people, she went to the mall!!!!
I will now continue. I'm trying to wrap my head around this crime and come to terms with what I'd heard and had confirmed by an extremely reliable source. The father of the child had no idea chick was pregnant because she said she was getting an abortion of which is a LEGAL act, but instead she decides to not terminate. She goes on to conceal the pregnancy and then attempt to kill the child in an act which is currently ILLEGAL. Are you getting where I'm going with this?
How in God's name does a person do something so fucking ruthless? There are laws to PROTECT a mother who decides she doesn't want the child if she takes it to a safe place. So again, I question why a person would go from two perfectly legal acts to performing a heinous AND illegal one??? There are women torturing their bodies with all kinds of hormone therapies in order to conceive and here we have some wretched 18 year old who conceives and tosses the baby with the trash. What the hell has the world come to when we blantantly disregard life to this capacity?
Personally, I'd like to slap the shit out of her for what she did. She better be glad I'm not on that jury cause there'd be no way in hell she'd get anything but a guilty verdict and the promotion of the highest penalities for her crime. So far she's looking at 5-10 for child endangerment and other related charges.
I will now continue. I'm trying to wrap my head around this crime and come to terms with what I'd heard and had confirmed by an extremely reliable source. The father of the child had no idea chick was pregnant because she said she was getting an abortion of which is a LEGAL act, but instead she decides to not terminate. She goes on to conceal the pregnancy and then attempt to kill the child in an act which is currently ILLEGAL. Are you getting where I'm going with this?
How in God's name does a person do something so fucking ruthless? There are laws to PROTECT a mother who decides she doesn't want the child if she takes it to a safe place. So again, I question why a person would go from two perfectly legal acts to performing a heinous AND illegal one??? There are women torturing their bodies with all kinds of hormone therapies in order to conceive and here we have some wretched 18 year old who conceives and tosses the baby with the trash. What the hell has the world come to when we blantantly disregard life to this capacity?
Personally, I'd like to slap the shit out of her for what she did. She better be glad I'm not on that jury cause there'd be no way in hell she'd get anything but a guilty verdict and the promotion of the highest penalities for her crime. So far she's looking at 5-10 for child endangerment and other related charges.
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