12 August 2008

what i've learned so far

This post was "stolen" from jus.b.fli who's been known to "lift" a few ideas and such from me. *smile*

In recent weeks, I've been doing some soul-searching, pruning, and the like as I near my new year. I needed to see where I've been and where I'm heading and in order to do that I had to look as some lessons learned and I thought I'd share some of them with you. You know I'm one for encouraging and inspiring people to be the best they can be and sometimes in order to do that, we must show ourselves as the catalyst; so here goes...

i've learned...
my happiness is exactly that; mine. i can not allow others to define my happiness and what i should be happy about. i'm the only me and no one knows me better than me. what makes me happy is what makes ME happy.

i've learned...
that how you feel about someone isn't necessarily how they feel about you. their actions are indicative of where you stand and how you rate in their lives. i can't feel bad for their inability to adequately be what i'd like them to be. i have to accept them for who they are and decide what position they'll be allowed to have in my life.

i've learned...
that my moral compass must lead north at all times. taking the southern route to get to know someone is an ineffective way of going through the "getting to know you process". as hard and tempting as it may be, i know i have to remain loyal and true to myself and what i hold valuable.

i've learned...
that family is one of the most valuable things in life. i've been estranged from mine for a long time by no fault of my own and experienced a great loss and sadness in my life. i've been blessed to have been reunited with my family and i celebrate and nurture the relationships. i also know that family isn't just through blood and i thank those who have become and been family for me over the years.

i've learned...
without my faith i would be absolutely a mess! in spite of the choas and some of the dumb things that i've done, i've never forgotten that the Divine is there for me. i know that i can call on Him day or night to listen, to heal, to love, and to support me. i know that without my spiritual growth that i would be so lost. no matter what, i will always remain faithful and put my trust in Him.

i've learned...
that making a bad choice/decision doesn't make me a bad person. i know that i'm not perfect and i can/will make mistakes but i can't allow myself to be held hostage by what i've done. it's how i try to rectify the problem that counts. owning up to my shortfalls means a lot to me and i will strive to be the best person i can be.

i've learned...
that i love hard and play for keeps. i won't compromise on how i love someone, so i know i won't settle for anything less than what i deserve in a relationship. i'd truly rather be single and happy (and even horny...lol) than involved and unhappy with myself and/or him just to say i'm with someone.

i've learned...
from experience that life truly is short and we must and i repeat must LIVE it. we can't live to work, but instead work to live. i plan to make the dash between my sunrise and sunset count.

i've learned...
after reading Miz's post Stepping out of DARKNESS...Stepping into GREATNESS! That i truly am ready. i know it's my time to shine and that i must not quit and make sure that my dream becomes my reality. i've worked hard to nurture my talents and abilities and it's time to shine.

i've learned...
frienships need work and even if it falls apart i must do what it takes to rebuild it if it can be rebuilt. i must do my part to nuture and make it grow. friendships are God's gift to us in order for us not to be lonely.

i've learend...
a man will treat you as you allow him to. i've been the rounds with one or two that i thought would be worth the effort i put in, but i realized that he wasn't able to appreciate the woman i was so i had to let him go. i wasn't going to allow him to be a revolving door in my life by letting him go and come as he pleased while i remained in position.

i've learned...
that there is a thin line between love and hate and i have to know which side of the emotion i'm on. i learned that while i loved the man, i hated his actions, his inabilities, his shortcomings and i shouldn't allow the negative to outweigh the blessing of love i had with him.

i've learned...
letting go is sometimes the best course of action as it will allow room for what i need in my life and not what i think i want. letting go means taking a leap of faith and allowing myself the opportunity to spread my wings and fly.

i've learned...
each day is a gift. i must embrace it, love it, hold it near, and never think for one second that it isn't something worth living. suicide in any form is never an option.

i've learned...
the simple pleasures are and will always be the best.

i've learned...
being whole is one of the best feelings in the world. yes, it makes me feel plenty vulnerable at times, but at least i know where my emotions/actions come from. being a fractured person is not a good thing as it allows too much negativity to ease in through the cracks in my being.

i've learned...
that learning is an incredible and invaluable experience.

Love!

9 comments:

Trina said...

I've learned...that u r a sista i have to keep an eye on - words of maturity and wisdom r ALWAYS welcome in my life!! Thnx so much 4 sharing!!

T.C. said...

I have learned so much from being able to come to your spot and what you share with us...

mostly i am still learning
1. that my happiness is my own...
2. that i would rather definitely be single then to settle
3. that i HAVE to be a whole person alone...
4. there is still love out there..

thanks so much for sharing who you are because in your sharing what you have learned i too am definitely learning!

Blu Jewel said...

trina - thanks for stopping by and supporting my words. i share what i believe in and hope that i'm able to touch someone as they've touched me. i appreciate the love.

t.c - girl, you know you got it going on and i applaud your convictions for doing what's right for YOU. i know your journey will be blessed and your success great. thanks for always checking in.

love!

Mizrepresent said...

Ah blu, beautiful...i have also learned so much...it really seems, and we have said this before that our paths are almost identical. OMG, sometimes when you write things like this, it's as if you were in my head...but it's also comforting to know that we are still growing and learning, and getting better every single day!

jus butterfli said...

blusey...

very well done my sweet biter! LOL

i've learned a few of those lessons my damn-self & it feel great knowing i'm not alone. that we all go thru the same shit & have 2 CHOOSE 2 come out on the other side stronger, better, & WISER! thank u 4 sharing your list with us. i'm constantly adding 2 mine & i know u are 2. 'cause when 1 stops learning, they stop growing & we'd NEVER get caught out there like that! ;o)

u're awesome! peace! love!

Blu Jewel said...

miz - it's God's blessing to know we have kindred spirits out there because there are so many, many times i do wonder if it's just me. in so many ways, you inspire and bless me when you share your story because it does seem that we're sharing thoughts. i feel so blessed to be in such good company.

jus - our kinnection is so awesome and like you, know it's best to continue to learn, grow, and be the best people we can be. thanks for your encouragement and inspiration and i'm happy to know that i can do the same for you.

sidebar...i've also learned that although many of us do not know each other personally (outside of blogging) we truly do share a bond of sisterhood and i pray that we can continue to inspire and encourage each other. in a day and age where too many of us are being lowering their standards, it's such an honor and privilege to be surrounded by women who aren't afraid to speak up and bless each other in a positive way. I thank each of you for sharing yourselves with me.

Love!

Darius T. Williams said...

So, yea - this is a great list. I think I need to do something similar now that this seems to be on everyone's blog.

Believer 1964 said...

You're always sharing with us your wealth of wisdom through experience and life lessons.

How grateful we are to witness your success of the heart, spirit, and mind.

All too often, when we speak of success we think of material things, education, and career. Nevertheless, as we mature we realize that the former list holds more divine power for eternal influence.

God bless you!

Blu Jewel said...

darius - creating a list is a good way to purge and really see how much you've grown. go for it!

believer - thanks for the beautiful sentiments and your closing statement is on point.

love!