06 September 2006

Mother's baby, Daddy's maybe

This is a long overdue rant, so be prepared for quite a tirade (though abridged).

WHY? WHY? WHY? Why am I pissed? Cause I’m sick of hearing some effin woman call into a radio show or appear on TV trying to find out who her “baby daddy” is. If you’re gonna sleep with that many men, would it behoove the hoe (yes, I called her that and I ain’t taking it back) to use protection? I’m sure it’s less embarrassing than putting your business out in the open that you’ve screwed so many men that you can’t figure out which one fathered your child. Woman like that bring out the proverbial sailor in me. As I listen to them try to justify their dilemma, I’m screaming at the radio or TV calling them all sorts of names. I’m really not trying to be judgmental, but it’s hard not to be. Condoms are so easy to come by it’s not even funny. Hell, you can go to your local gas station bathroom and find them. Woman can purchase over-the-counter birth control that does work. The combination of the two works even better. Okay, I’ll give it that some of the encounters could be impulsive, but as I said, condoms (if nothing else) are so damned easy to come by and why would she even want to risk getting pregnant by someone whose name she barely knows? Dammit! I’m soooo effin sick of it.

To flip the story and calm down a little, I now digress to the women who cheat on their boyfriends or husbands, get pregnant, and try to pawn the child of at theirs. WTF? How wrong is that? If you’re gonna cheat, at least be a smart cheat. The quickest and sure fired way to get caught is to get pregnant. Some men can and will do the math to know whether it’s his or not. Some men might question it on the grounds that having a child yet wasn’t something that was discussed. Imagine Male #1 has loved and raised this child since birth and at four years old his “daughter” gets sick and he finds out at that point that he’s not the child’s father. Imagine Male #2. You meet a woman, start dating, and within a short time she’s pregnant. You’re warned to take a DNA test upon the child’s birth because you barely know the woman and you live is opposing ends of the state. Male #2 is in denial because he so wants to have a child. Two years later, Male #2 finally takes the DNA test to find out his “son” is not his. Yes, I know men this happened to. If I had been either of them, I’d have f*cked her up after I got over the shock of it.

This is wrong beyond wrong. It’s a cruel thing to do to the man and an even crueler thing to do to the child. What if the woman never finds out who the father is? What if her child ends up with a medical issue that can only be explained if the father’s medical history was available? There are so many “what ifs?” to come up with; the biggest one being what if the woman wasn’t being so damned stupid and selfish and either 1) opted to use protection, or 2) opted to use wiser judgment in sleeping with that many men in the first place. I’m sure you’ve all seen or heard of the woman who went on the Maury Povich show at least three times bringing about 15 men on trying to determine paternity. How crazy is that? Three visits, 15 men, and you still haven’t got a winner. What the hell does that say about the woman? I recall what I said, but it would be really unladylike and close to violating FCC rules for me to repeat it.

Whatever the case is, cheating isn’t the ideal thing to do while already in a committed relationship, but cheating and not using something is beyond stupid. I’m not gonna sit on a morality pedastal and say I haven’t messed around with someone else’s man (back in the day) cause I have, but I was sure as hell made sure I/we were protected. I didn’t want to put either of in a position to have to decide on whether or not to keep or terminate. Screw that! In addition, that’s one hella slap in the face to the woman who’s being cheated on that not only did your man cheat; they got pregnant. Nah, I know I was wrong for what I did, but shit, I wasn’t gonna compound it.

I must end now or this could be even longer than it already is, but I had to finally get this out.


Seabrook Slimm said...

I agree completely. The chick on the Maury show has been on more than three times I think. She's tested brothers, fathers of guys she's slept with, the milkman, the mayor, the town drunk, every damn body!

I also look at these dudes with contempt. These dumb-asses going (meat-to-meat) with women they don't plan to be with anyway.

I applaud your honesty, as I have done the same also. I've slept with a lady or two who may have had a man and even with a married woman, and would never take the chance of not wearing protection, looking at it from her husband's perspective if she were to get pregnant.

Condoms are too damn easy to carry! I got armies of
trojans in the house, the car, my girlfriend's place (where they are thoroughly counted and inventoried weekly) everywhere! I've always asked what was cheaper? Kids or condoms. It's never been hard.

I apologize for the rant, but shit like this gets me worked up also!

JC said...

It's taken me most of the morning to prepare myself to comment. My first reaction was to say, Blu, you were right on point with this, but after I read Slimm's comment, I had to rethink my position.

I agree with both of you on this. I know I've been caught out there a couple times with chicks trying to pin babies on me. Fortunately, I learned my lesson and stopped the BS when I realized how dangerous it was to be that careless. My son and his mother never had to question anything when he came into the world. Heard ears weren't about to make this behind soft. F*ck dat!

As for the women, I don't know what to say that doesn't have me coming off like some kind of chauvanist. Men and hit and run, woman can't unless they are using protection or aborting the unborn.

There are already too many kids out there caught in the system, being abused, or killed for us to keep bringing more into the world fatherless. Men AND women need to stop the madness.

This one hit home so forgive me going off a bit.


DITTO... I know a girl, an X of mine, who has a husband, a man and a mister; makes all of them wear a condom, even her husband. Its a dangerous world, besides all the who's the daddy drama. Great point, well presented, well taken!

blaqrayne said...

What a topic???? I remember watching shows like that and thinking "they must have paid this hoe to come on here and make this ish up". But sadly some of these stories are true. Like you, I'm not going to judge anyone for creeping. It may not be right, but noone's perfect and fortunately noone on this Earth has a Heaven or Hell to put us in. BUUUUT, I must excercise my "freedom of speech" and say that chicks putting themseleves out there like this are just foul and dudes who run up in that ish raw deserve whatever drama, itching, burning or sores that they get up with.

Susan Abraham said...

Hi Blu,

The Rikki Lake show comes to mind!

I do feel sorry for the women in some strange way. Though many may be an easy lay.

Perhaps a mismatched upbringing and other painful factors accounted for the way they turned out. And for many, even years down the road, it's more than likely a striken conscience catches up with them at the end.

I remember in this case, the Trisha Goddard show in the UK, where women came out years later to make public confessions of their outrageous misdeeds and try with now feeble attempts to correct their wrongs.

Each soul has its time.

Freak Magnet said...

My brother knows a guy with 4 kids who was getting a divorce. His wife told him before they went into the courtroom that she was going to royally screw him for child support.

Turns out none of the kids were his, so he paid diddly. She had been seeing an ex the entire time they were married.

Although I DO hear they're starting to make men who treat children as their own pay child support once the relationship's over. Which I think is screwed up.

I am not Star Jones said...

As much as it pains me to say, I think a lot of women get pregnant to trap men who have stated explicitly, 'This is only a sex thing, okay?"

Of course, any guy who says that and still has sex without a condom gets what he gets.

It's 2006 -- everybody needs to get with the program and grow the f**k up.