This being Labor Day weekend and the last official weekend of the summer, many people are trying to get one last hurrah in before they go back to school, back to work, end a summer romance, or clean and pack up their vacation homes. For those of us who live near the shore, we endure a special kind of people every summer and Labor Day weekend brings out the ugly in them. Top ten reasons (not in any particular order of relevancy) why I'm calling it F*ck You Friday...
1. Ernesto is beating up the coast with heavy winds and rain ruining cookouts, outdoor activities, and dumping on us because he can.
2. (for the women) Those us who have hair appointments today will have our hair ruined because it's going to rain like the freaking dickens. (Ernesto, you bastard!)
3. The out-of-towners will drive like shit to get out of town causing road rage in their wake.
4. The no smoking ban in NJ will be ignored tonight because there's a One Love (Reggae) Festival at House of Blues in Atlantic City and the weed smokers will ignore it with security doing nothing about it.
5. Moms of every demographic will be in the mall this weekend doing their last minute back to school shopping and will f*ck you up if you get in their way, take the shirt they wanted for little Suzy or Johnny, or have not had enough Valium.
6. Store workers unhappy that they have to work this weekend will likely take their pissy attitudes out on you while you shop or check out.
7. The Labor Day weekend sales will have items in their flyers they wont have in the store, pulling the old bait and switch to force you into purchasing something else and/or spending more than you planned to.
8. Back to Ernesto again, because he’s on an unrelenting mission up the coast, those who cannot cookout will look for open restaurants to eat at, thus causing unexpected mayhem in their wake.
9. There’ll be chaos on the roads as vacationers head home early or are forced to evacuate and they’ll swear the roads were made just for them, so “get the f*ck outta my way” will be the catch phrase for the day.
10. The movies (for those who get cabin fever) will be packed primarily with kids who have nothing better to do than act the fool because it’s the last weekend before school starts and they need to get the summer madness out of their system.
Well, that’s my explanation of F*ck You Friday. I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day weekend wherever you are.