Think of pivotal moments in your life where you had to make a decision and now that the decision has been made, do you ever think about how your life could have changed as a result?
For some unknown reason, I thought about that today. I thought about the month long vacation I took after high school and called home to say I wasn't coming back. I currently wonder where I would be in life had I decided to remain in London instead of coming back to the states. I wonder what my current employment would be; whether or not I'd be married; have kids; etc. I know I can't ever know because there's no turning back the clock, but it doesn't stop me from wondering.
I sat quietly for about 30 minutes and contemplated that call, my reasons for not wanting to return to the U.S, and even allowed myself to project events. In my mind, I saw myself enrolled in a university continuing my studies in language and commerce, which was my course of studies prior to moving here. I saw myself studying in France, to further my ability to speak my first choice foreign language and continuing my ability to speak German and Russian also. I thought about what kind of boyfriend I might have had. Would I have finally snagged Delroy Pinnock, the dark chocolate good friend of my older brother, whose smile could give the sun a run for its money? His smooth, silky voice that drove me nuts when he spoke, and that same voice that could belt out tunes; leading him to release a song on wax. Maybe we would have made it and if lifes timing was kind, we'd marry, procreate and bring a child into the world. Or if not he, maybe I'd fall for a charming French man named Jean-Luc much like the one I'd met in my teens while in France for a week whose voice spent me as his French-infused English speaking let me know how much I'd learn to love accents. Hell, maybe I'd never marry or have children and simply travel the world as an ambassador, or translator for international businesses. Maybe I would have become a writer and bless the literary community with my works and end up on Best Seller lists worldwide.
I'll never know what could have happened had I stuck to my guns when I made that phone call, but it sure was fun to reflect and think about the possibilities. (sigh)