I decided that today's rant would not be anst inspired, but of a more light hearted note; however, after reading a post on the BV message board, I couldn't help but be angry. I omitted some the extraneous stuff, but this is her post…
“…ended a 6-1/2 yr relationship…this July….tired of the relationship b/c he never like to do anything, and the only time he wanted to do something was if it was something he liked. We never went on vacation together and every time I would plan something, he would wait until the last minute to say he can’t go, and now that I don’t want him he has been calling me constantly. When I know it’s him I don’t answer my phone. I had his number blocked, …that didn’t help, b/c he just uses another phone. …changedmy phone number, which I was trying to avoid having to do…he calls me at work, leaving me messages, saying that he’s waiting for me to get over my anger, so we can talk and go head and get married…still loves me and he always will. What part of "I don’t want you"…doesn’t he understand? Apparently none of it. I’ve had it. I’m tired of him calling me at my job. There’s no need of me asking for a new extension at work, because he can call the main number. At one point he was coming to my apartment, but just my luck, I wouldn’t be home, and since he had a key…had a deadbolt installed. I told him that I was getting a restraining order…he says, is "do what you have to"…leaves messages saying do I want to have lunch and wants me to meet him so we can talk, but I refuse to meet him anywhere. Next thing you know, I’ll be another missing person. He knows where I work so sometimes I’m afraid to go outside during my lunch, and if I do, I’m always looking over my shoulders. I told him if he ever comes to my job, I will call security on him. I know we had this one girl that works in my building whose boyfriend took her hostage, that's why I won't go anywhere with him, and regardless of that, I love my life. What can I do to get it through to this guy that it’s over, I don’t want him, leave me the F**K ALONE. NEED HELP”
After reading that, I read the responses from other readers and would you believe that quite a few of them suggested that she take him back or consider meeting him. I immediately said, and out loud, no f-ing way! I was like are you f-ing morons insane? This woman’s life is at stake at these simple ass minded people are actually suggesting that she take him back or meet him. I think after 6 ½ years this woman has taken more than she needed to. Someone said, “well he didn’t cheat on you, so why not give him another chance?” Give me a mutha-effin break! She’s given him years of chances. Naturally, I don’t know anything other than what she posted, but I’ll hazard a guess that she’s not lying. And for the record, we all know or have known someone in this situation.
Help me out here people because I know I’m not the only one thinking it, while the woman who posted this thread has a severe problem; it’s the people who responded suggesting that she take him back or meet him with the problem. I mean for crying out loud, would you suggest taking a man, or woman for that matter back who has not regard for your wants, needs, or a form of a simple request to be left alone back? Yes, I understand 6 ½ years with someone is a long time and no, you may not want to give all that up, but according to this woman, this was not a relationship at all. Not when she was the one in a perpetual deficit. I’m supposing that he hadeverything to gain fromthe relationship and that’s why he wants to “work things out”. But my response is, work what out? You ain’t, (forgive my lack of appropriate diction) done sh*t for me or with me and you wanna work sh*t out? Mutha-effer please!”
I see it like this; this woman needs to report the harassment she’s receiving to her immediate supervisor and to security. Have them listen to the constant messages he leaves in her voice mailbox and use it as part of her complaint and file the Restraining Order. While there is no way she can feel totally safe, save for moving, she needs to have something recorded somewhere. Erring on the side of caution is a good way to protect herself.
Woman (and men) you’re more likely to be killed by someone you know than someone you don’t. Please don’t ignore the warnings signs and more importantly don’t ignore your gut feeling. Too many lives are lost and/or compromised by making misguided judgments or listening to the f’d up suggestions of idiots who believe you should welcome bullsh*t in your life. Life is short and life is precious. This is not a dress rehearsal and we can’t turn back the clock. So, I say live it up, live it right, and damn sure live it with as little unnecessary drama as you can. Eff whatcha heard about making peace and not holding grudges. Eff dat! (sorry, Annie, my alter ego got loose for a minute). Seriously though, while it’s good to let bygones be bygones, you can’t control someone else or their actions. Do what you can to be happy and certainly do what you can to be safe. Walk away as far away as you can from the jacked up people and let God handle them.
In closing I’ll leave you with this final thought…consider your sunrise and then your sunset. There’s a gap in between them; make them count. Say it with me, “make them count”.