04 January 2006

Can you hear me now?

BV gets a break this morning. Fortunately for them, there was nothing buzz worthy for me to speak on. Thank goodness! Lord knows I needed a mental health break from the crap they post. I do; however, have a couple things on my mind that I think I need to speak on. The one that seems to dominate my thoughts regards women and how they perceive what’s being said to them. Men, I know you’ll thoroughly enjoy my female bashing, while women on the other hand will commence to calling me every bitch known to womankind and I’m cool with that. I’ll just take it as “…the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Stolen from Jack Nicholson in that damned movie that I can’t think of the title with Tom “crazy couch jumping” Cruise and Demi Moore. Anyhoo, here I go

Women, you always say you want a man who’ll tell you the truth no matter what. It’s further said that you don’t want a man that plays games and strings you along. Right? Right! Then, why is it that when you find such a man, you have a hard time understanding the words that come out of his mouth? (Said in my Chris Tucker from Rush Hour voice…lol). Sorry, I’ll get back on track. For example, I have male friend who’s back on the dating scene. He’s a good guy, honest, kind, warm, sensitive, giving; you know, all the quality attributes you say you want in a man. So, he starts dating and tells the woman up front, that he doesn’t want to get into anything serious and wants to just hang out etc. Chic is cool, says she understands, and can roll with it no strings attached. Things naturally are great at first, then bam! Chic starts catching feelings. What da? Now, I can respect her in the sense that you can’t control your feelings and if you’re digging someone, you’re digging them; I’ll give her that. But what I don’t get is that somewhere along the way, chic said she too didn’t want to get into anything too heavy due to her life’s circumstances. Naturally, this changes the course of things and they need to have “the talk”. Dunt, dunna, dah! (that’s the drum roll if you didn’t get it at first!) So, they have “the talk” and things are seemingly fine, but then them damned pesky feelings get in the way and he has to pump the brakes and eventually terminate the relationship.

Women, help a sista out here. What part of “I’m not looking for a relationship” didn’t get heard and most of all, why? I think my boy was clear and fair with what he did and didn’t want. He was open and honest with her all the way. Yes, I know this for a fact, so stop the neck rolling and finger waving aiight! Of course, being the sensitive and caring guy that my boy is, he tries to give chic another chance. At first things are cool, then she starts with the feelings sh*t and gets all clingy and what have you. The bell sounds, the end of the round and he has to terminate things altogether.

Now, here’s where I have the issue. Women want a man who’s fair and honest. Chic had a man who was fair and honest, but she effed it up by not respecting the boundaries they BOTH set. This is not the first time this has happened to my boy and frankly I’m getting tired of it; hence what prompted this ranting. Ladies, ladies, ladies! The “adage careful what you wish for, you might get it?” Well, this is a clear example of that. She got what she asked for, but couldn’t handle it. This practice has to stop. Women, you can’t say you want something, get it, then change the rules; that’s just not how it works. In addition, you can’t selectively hear things being said to you. If a man did that (though they often do), you’d have a fit and call him everything but the child of God, so you can’t have a double standard. If you want to be listened to, then you too have to listen. If you want him to respect the boundaries of a relationship, you too have to respect those same boundaries. What’s good for the goose really is good for the gander.

I see it like this, there are many women who fought and died for the rights we have now. They fought for us to vote, have reproductive rights, for equality, and countless other blessings. Now, I do respect many traditional values, but I do it with the conscious knowledge and execution that I can’t be picky about it. If a man tells me he only wants to be friends, then we can only be friends no matter how much I might catch feelings. If he says, and I agree that we’re friends with benefits, then that’s the terms of the relationship and the only way that changes is if WE mutually agree to it. Ladies, can you hear me now? Please, please, please, I implore you to take heed. Paying attention could save you a lot of time lost, heartache, and in some instances embarrassment from playing yourself out or being played out.

Just as it’s said that a man will be a man, a woman will be a woman too, but those so-called “preset” gender qualities are only there because we perpetuate them for our own selfish and in some instances, stupid reasons. It gives us something to bitch about when things don’t go our way. If you’re not getting what you want from the person you’re with, tell them. If the terms of the relationship change or you want change, speak up. Stop playing dumb! And finally, if you can’t deal with the heat, the hell out the damn kitchen. Playing with fire will only cause you to get burned unless you’re a stickler for pain and suffering.

Men, if you’re a real man, and by that I mean, you’re actually capable of expressing yourself without the use of your penis, I applaud you. Being kind, caring, sensitive, open, and honest is what makes you man. There is no shame in that, so don’t change. Don’t get sucked into the bullsh*t of some woman crying or whatever she does to manipulate you because you allegedly hurt her feelings. You told her what you did and didn’t want up front and if she can’t heed what you said, that’s not your fault.

Women, stop playing games. You know you’re capable of sex for sex sake. Yeah, you’re damned right I said. If you’re capable of having sex with someone cause he’s a balla, drives a nice car, or can/will pays your bills, you’re a hooker (my opinion); then you can be a friend with benefits if that’s what you and dude agree to and not get in too deep.

I think I’ve said enough, hurt some feelings, but overall, I know I told the truth.

Nuff said. The kid has left the building! :-)


BlaqRayne said...

This holds true for both the male and female species. In general, some people just tell the other party what they want to hear in hopes that they'll eventually get what they want. It's like, "if I give you what you want, you'll do the same for me." DAMN THAT! What people like this don't realize is that they are their worst enemy. Who wants to be mislead? Noone, right? Well what do they think they're doing when they tell the man or woman that they accept the position as Friend or FWB? Uh, I'm not a bettin' woman, but that smells like misleading. What makes them any better than a woman who claims to be a virgin and is actually as loose as a newborn's bowel movement? Or a man who claims to be a virgin, but gets more @$$ than a toilet seat? And don't forget those whose online profiles tell you they look like Halle and Denzel then you meet them and she's more man than you'll ever be and you aren't half the woman that he is...lol. Let's all keep it real!

BluJewel said...

LMAO @ "loose as a newborn's bowel movement", now that's a classic. Your comments were on point. Agreed, folk need to stop playing games. In fact, the game never really changes, the players do. So, I'll quote my lil man Riley Freeman (fictional, but very amusing character; "game recognizes game and you're looking real unfamiliar". So, if can't play the game, sit on the bench.

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