25 January 2006

Stay or go?

I was having one of my adult ADD moments (no, I don't really have it, but it's fun to say...lol) and couldn't decide what I wanted to talk about. Then I decided that I would write something funny and kind of all the wall until I read a thread written by a man who's struggling with staying with his wife or divorcing her. It was a very long thread, but I read it in entirety and was so completely moved that I decided I needed to write about him.
Naturally, his presentation of the story was one-sided...his! He admitted that it was only his version, but his plea for help was so moving that I couldn't help but believe what he was saying. Apparently he and his wife are Born Again Christians and have been married for over a year; however, the marriage is and has been grossly deteriorating. He states that his wife becomes both physically and verbally abusive during arguments and refuses to accept responsibility for her actions. To cut a long story short, he's gone the rounds with her, has tried counseling, talking to her (when she appears rational), but nothing is working and nothing seems to change. She has (according to his story), berated him to her family and friends and they are currently separted. In spite of the bullshit and drama, he wants to work things out 1) because as a Christian he doesn't believe in divorce and 2) he still loves her. His question was what should he do? Oh hell, he done opened up a can now...
Personally, I say get rid of the psycho bitch before he ends up the passenger in an ambulance. I'm sorry no diss to Christians or the Bible, but let's be for real here...the bitch (forgive the slander) is effin you up during arguments, has wrecked the house and furniture, cut up your clothes, received nothing constructive from counseling, and you want to stay because you're a Christian? Hell would truly freeze over if I were in that situation cause this chic would be so gone! Ain't now way on earth am I staying with someone who displays that kind of behavior. I ain't tryna stay with someone who could have me wake up dead. Sheot! Someone would have to hold me hostage in order for me to stay with that level of abuse. I'd have left her ass for half of what he's endured/enduring.
I know he wants to uphold his vows, but where does it say in the vows that one should withstand abuse and a violent environment? I've been married, and thevows said, "...in sickness and in health...", but I know they didn't mean that level of sickness; cause trust me that woman is sick. The irony of the situation is that she NEEDS Jesus; even though she allegedly has him in her life. Whoa! I think people are taking the Bible and being a Christian a little too far these days and are putting themselves in harms way be it emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or financially. I just wish people would stop hiding behind religion and realize that they are capable of recognizing right from wrong behavior and at some point common sense should prevail...though it appears it's really not that common.
While I feel bad for dude and his situation, he needs to man up and walk away from a destructive woman and marriage.
Nuff said, Amen!

6 comments:

zeek59 said...

You had to know that I would have something to say about this one. Leave the Beotch now! Run away - far away. If she doesn't accept responsibility for her actions now, she never will. I wonder who she is blaming for accepting Christ back into her life....

tineebubbs said...

What I have noticed about people who found faith again in their lives are very hypercritical. It's like a born again non-smoker. They haste not to judge or critize. They need to stop and look within themselves before they cast the first stone. As for the dude, I commend you for your beliefs but DUDE! face reality...you can not change a leopards spots. Remember there are other women out there who would and will respect you for YOU.....

BlaqRayne said...

People do take the Bible too literally sometimes. My pastor always reminds us that we follow him as he follows Christ, but if he backslides, we are to stop following him. In this case, she is backsliding and in order for him to live a happy Christian life, he has to get rid of her. Yes, God dislikes divorce, but he dislikes seeing his children unhappy as well. So the way I see it, if you want to be literal, he's making God unhappy either way. So why not get out and work on being alone or in a different relationship with true Christian values respected by both parties.

BluJewel said...

Amen!

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