05 January 2006


As I contemplated the many ideas my mind conjured up for today's blog, a friend emailed the following...

Woman to Woman Encouragement
Someone will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their partners will fix more things around the house. So let it go and love you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. The richest woman you know - she's got the car, the house, the clothes - might be heartbreakingly lonely. So, love you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself, "I am too blessed to be stressed." Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman."To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world." Possibilities and miracles are one and the same.

I found it particularly inspirational and interesting as I had just finished reading a thread about Brandy (singer/actress) and how she is rumored to be suffering from depression as a result of her (now) failed singing career and relationship. The picture that is on the Net of her makes her look like she should be in a coffin. She's wearing entirely too much makeup and she looks very frail. http://blackcommunity.blackvoices.aol.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?msg=1088.6&nav=messages&webtag=ti-musictalk. As many of you know the girl has been through the ringer personally, professionally, and socially; so it's probably a natural reaction to be depressed as a result. Once the so-called "good girl" (though most of us knew the real deal), Brandy projected a healthy and wholesome image until she found herself pregnant out of wedlock. With her parents, moreso her mother, calling the shots, it was natural that she would have to marry her childs father Robert Smith. Though many were against the union, they "wed" and went on to have a little girl. It was later revealed she and Robert had not married and the "wedding" was staged in order to uphold her image. What a lot of good that did because all it did was open the doors for all the ugly, though pressumably true, rumors to fly like the proverbial stuff that hits the fan. She and Robert held seperate interviews regarding their status and Robert was very forthright in his interviews on waht actually occured between them. Brandy held her own interviews and tried (miserably) to regain her image. MTV was furious with her and demanded an apology for being "defrauded" by her and practically refused to have anything else to do with her ever. That's rough!

In an additonal attempt to improve her image and attract some attention other than faux marriage, Brandy posed shamelessly for Vibe magazine. The pictures were awful (my opinion) and did nothing to improve her image, but to further sully it. Please don't start blacking out on me, these are soley my opinions and I am not trying to incite an online riot; so let me speak. Anyway, Brandy released a new CD Afrodesiac, which did not attract the same fan response as her previous CDs had even with the several disses to Robert. Personally, I think she played herself! (Ducking, cause I know some of you are ready to hurl things my way...be easy!) Since then, she hooked up with Quentin Richardson, NBA balla and attempted to be wed for real this time. Unfortunately, the marriage did not take place and if memory serves correctly, he wanted the ring back. DAYUM! Talk about another blow to the esteem.

To cut a long story short and actually get my point across, I think we (male and female) can all relate to things and reasons to compromise our self-esteem and in extreme cases, cause depression. A good, honest, and unwavering support system is a wonderful way to build, rebuild, and maintain ones self-esteem. I think, actually, I know that without faith in a Divine being in your life, it's hard to make it. Staying away from people and places that contribute nothing but negativity also helps. (Refer to blog on Friendship for additional insight). Being a celebrity comes with its own set of problems and your life in under constant scrutinity, which fortunately for most of us, we aren't subject to such invasions. We do however, suffer and endure problems in our lives that if not properly tended to can cause an array of damage to our well-being and self-esteem.

I think the enclosed quote says a lot and in the grand scheme of things, many of us aren't suffering quite as much as we think we are. Most of us are blessed with full-time employment (with benefits), friends and famil who love us, homes, cars, and similar blessings. Agreed, we all do suffer in one for or another, but it's not a terminal state. Take the time to get to know yourself, surround yourself with good people if you haven't already, travel and seek new things in your life, and always have faith. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. Blessings come in all forms, so don't think you're not being blessed or receiving answers to your prayers, that nothing good is happening. Patience is a much needed virtue in most of us. Think about the times when a rebate check that you forgot about came when you were broke. Recall the time when you couldn't do something and you were upset, but later found out the situation wasn't what you thought it would be in the first place. There are so many ways to build ourselves up and we all have to play the staring roles in our lives. We can't leave it up to others to make us feel good. As Michael Jackson says, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror." While I admit and understand that many things are easier said than done, but remember the first step, though the hardest; is the right one in making improvements. We can't dole out "advice" if we aren't willing to heed it, so keep that in mind the next time you find yourself uplifting someone and you can't do it to or for yourself.

Finally, seeking help makes you stronger not weaker. "Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be." Clementine Paddleford. Strength, beauty, wisdom, and courage lies in ALL of us.

Be blessed :-)


BlaqRayne said...

Nicely stated. And for the record, I am not a Brandy hater. In fact, I am somewhat a fan of her work, moreso her early work. And I do agree with what you said. She's a classic example of low esteem and letting others define you.

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