31 January 2006

Ever Satisfied?

In my fascination with all things stupid; cause folk never cease to amaze me, I was immediately drawn to a message thread that said, "She's too loud." I read the thread with amused curiousity because men are in fact more fickle than women though they'd be reluctant to admit it.

Scenario, you have a woman who's too loud in bed, but if she's too loud, it's a message board worthy issue; and it she wasn't loud, your ego would suffer quite a bruising. Make up your mind fella(s)! But how loud is too loud? Is she moaning and screaming Mariah Carey decibels during the act that makes her sound like a sex kitten or does she moan to replicate a porn star? Hmm? Maybe she sounds like you're in the process of killing her with it? I think you bragged about "killing her with it" because you're so good and she's taken to humoring you. (LMAO)

So, what are you gonna do fella? Are you gonna tell chick she's too loud or are you gonna be creative like you should be and find ways for her to use her mouth more constructively? My suggestion is that you speak to her about it. Now, I know tact is probably not your strong suit considering you chose a message board to vent, but bringing it up casually or playfully like, "yo, my neighbhor almost called the cops on us cause it was kinda loud the other night. He thought for sure I was tryna kill you." Hopefully, chick has a sense of humor and will laugh and you can say, "maybe we need to tone it done a little ya know?!" Or hell, you can flip it and get loud on her during the act and start sounding like one of those screw-faced (no pun intended) , barbarian grunting male porn stars and see how that grabs her. Chances are she'll feel like you've lost your natural mind and will call you on your sudden raise in decibels. If that occurs, then you've got the catalyst to bring up her "loudness".

I wish you well fella(s), but as the proverbial saying goes..."careful what you wish for..." I say, if you can't take the screaming, use ear plugs...lol...just kidding. For real though, Just talk to her otherwise you'll be rushing to get sex over with and then you'll be on the message board for a whole new reason...SHE posted a thread that you lost your stamina...GASP!!!

Steps away from the pc singing..."I don't want no minute man...." (Missy Elliot)

9 comments:

zeek59 said...

Personally, I kinda like to here something to let me know I'm traveling in the right direction. However, I got in trouble for being too quiet. I always figured the end result told the "gratification" story. I didn't know I was supposed to scream at the peak of the act... Anyway - I am sure doing what comes (or is it cumz?) naturally is the best way to reach the top.

JCarter said...

You are a funny woman. Some noise is cool, no noise; not cool, too much damn noise, I'm calling the police before someone else does. LMBAO!

BlaqRayne said...

LOL...This was funny.

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